WARNING:
THERE WILL BE BONDAGE, EXPLICIT SEX AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE IN THIS STORY. The sex is both consensual and nonconsensual, and the violence and sex are likely to be disturbing. If reading scenes like that would offend you, or if you are below the legal age where you live, please don't read this.

If you want to comment, send email to <luba@lubakmetyk.net>

Epilogue

They came up to the door of the MedLab and hesitated there, for one long moment. "Maybe you'd better wait here for me..." Kitty said. She let go of his hand reluctantly, and took a deep breath, visibly steeling herself to go inside.

Before she could step away, toward the entrance, Wisdom caught her close, into a hug, muttering next to her ear, "I'd go in with you, if you want, but yer probably right..." He really didn't want to face the people within, but he'd accept that as just another part of his penance, if it helped Kitty in any way.

"Let him come with you." Betsy's cold, crystal-clear thought made them both jump. "Meggan says she wants to talk to both of you."

Inside, in one of the semi-private cubicles off the main MedLab, the British/Asian hybrid telepath sat by the bed where her unofficial -- now never to be official, but no less real for that -- sister-in-law lay. With the deaths of Threadgold and Shrine, Betsy had easily broken the mental conditioning which had kept the delicate blonde fay morphed into those psychotics' fantasies of an overblown pinup doll. Instead, what Kitty and Pete saw now was a thin, emaciated stick figure lying in the bed, her long hair more gray than blonde, her wrinkled skin sagging over clearly visible bones. But her green eyes were open and aware, and her dry, cracked lips curved into a shadow of a welcoming smile. "Kitty. I'm so glad you're all right."

Kitty sat on the edge of the bed, gingerly, and took the dessicated hand her old teammate held out to her waveringly. "Oh, Meggan... I'm so sorry about Brian..." She bit her lip nervously -- that was so inadequate a comment for all that Meggan had suffered, but she couldn't come up with anything else. Ignoring Betsy's hostile glare, Wisdom stepped up to grasp Kitty's shoulder, whether to offer her his support or to reassure himself he really wasn't sure. He stayed silent, forcing himself to look, to see what his actions had led to, intended or not.

"It's all right, Kitty. It's better for Brian this way, really..." Meggan's voice trailed away, in obvious exhaustion, and she motioned with her other hand for Betsy to continue.

"What Meggan means," his sister's voice was steady, belying the pain at the loss of her twin, "is that we both know Brian could never have recovered from this. It was hard enough for him to quit drinking in the past. However Margali got him started again, this time he would never have sobered up. He wouldn't have been able to, because then he would have had to face and deal with what they had him do, to Meggan, and to the others. And he didn't have the strength for that..."

As Betsy finally broke down, lowering her head to soak Meggan's hand with hot, silent tears, Meggan visibly gathered her waning strength again. "Don't blame yourself." The empath was looking directly at Wisdom now. "Brian didn't have the strength to forgive himself and go on, for me, for us, even though I wanted him to, and needed him to. But you do." She ignored his automatic head-shake, his shame-faced expression, continuing, "Kitty wants you, and needs you, and you need to forgive yourself, so you can be there for her. She's already forgiven you..." Meggan nodded at Pete's surprised look, while pressing Kitty's hand reassuringly at the younger girl's guilty start. "It's all right, Kitty. I understand. I forgave Brian for so much, for yelling at me and hitting me and... raping me, when he was drunk all those times -- I forgave him, I stayed with him, because I loved him, even when you all thought I should leave him. Then he stopped drinking, and I forgave him for what came before -- just as I would now, again, if he gave me the chance -- and we were happy together. Your Mr. Wisdom changed sides and helped you escape, and you've forgiven him for what came before. I don't blame you, either of you..."

There was a long moment of silence, while Betsy wiped away her tears, while Meggan rested, while Kitty and Pete tried to absorb what Meggan was trying to tell them, awestruck at the crippled elemental's greatness of spirit. Wisdom was stuggling with his overwhelming guilt, while Kitty couldn't believe what Meggan had just revealed, about how bad the abuse had been she'd suffered at Braddock's hands before when he'd been drinking heavily. She could remember those days, living together in the lighthouse when Excalibur had first formed, trying to get the shy, insecure Meggan to stand up for herself, but neither she nor Kurt nor Rachel had known things had been that bad.

Her reverie was interrupted by another squeeze from Meggan's hand, and she had to lean down to make out the low, weak voice. "Betsy and I checked on Rahne. She feels horrible now, she hates herself, but she'll be fine again, someday. She's strong, too. But you have to help her, Kitty. You have to make her believe that nothing that happened to her was her fault -- just like you already know that what happened to you wasn't your fault. Sam will help..." She waved a limp hand at the cubicle where a somber Cannonball kept vigil over the drugged and sleeping weregirl.

Meggan coughed suddenly, and Betsy quickly slid an arm under her shoulders, to help her sit up slightly so she could sip at the glass of water the purple-haired woman held to her lips. Then she fell back onto the bed, panting, as Psylocke once again took over. "Meggan's right about Rahne. She's absolutely overwhelmed by her actions right now -- and by Moira's death, as well -- but much of that was your telepath's deliberate manipulation of her internal doubts and fears." She couldn't stop herself glaring at Wisdom, but his wince at her vitriolic tone referring to Shrine really didn't make her feel any better. "The good news is that Rahne has already proven she has the spiritual strength to get past her current self-blame and self-loathing. She grew up and overcame Reverend Craig's brainwashing influence, as soon as she was old enough to understand, and was shown better, and she'll do the same with this. Not that it'll be quick or easy, but the potential for a complete recovery is there..."

"And Kurt?" Kitty asked quietly, staring at Betsy. Kurt was also still completely out of it, essentially sunken into a fugue state, Logan watching him vigilantly for any faints signs of awareness. She cringed, and leaned backward to press against Pete's side for physical and moral support, when she saw the telepath shake her head sadly.

"Kurt is... very badly damaged. Leading his team into overwhelming defeat and disaster, watching Margali sacrifice Amanda, losing his power to teleport so traumatically, everything that those sadists in Black Air did to him, made him do... Then watching... that blonde bitch," Betsy could not bring herself to refer to Scicluna as Kurt's 'owner' whatever the circumstances, "kill Margali in turn... He has withdrawn deep within himself, hiding, with no reason to go on without Excalibur and Amanda..."

"Tell her..." Meggan whispered.

"No!" Betsy jerked back as if slapped. "I won't let you! You're going to rest, and get better, and we'll find some way to restore your elemental powers..."

"No, I won't," Meggan sighed. "Without Brian, and my link to the earth, I'm hollow and empty, drowning in those Black Air people's horrible feeilings. I'm tired, Betsy, so tired. I want to rest. I want to follow Brian. But I can do this one last thing for my friends before I go, I can bring Amanda back for Kurt..."

"But Amanda's dead! We saw Margali kill her, to give her soul to the demon!" Shocked, Kitty looked at the British telepath for an explanation.

"We've both felt Amanda, Kitty, and talked to her." Betsy nodded her head toward the nearby alcove where Nightcrawler lay unmoving. "She says some man freed her soul from the demon, and..."

She paused, as she felt Wisdom's sudden excitement. "John? Was it John Constantine freed her, she say?"

"She didn't recognize the man. She said he was blond and middle-aged and ordinary, and he told her he'd freed her soul as a favor to a friend?" Betsy was curious now, and even Meggan perked up slightly, to listen.

"Yeah, that's John, right enough." Pete squeezed Kitty's shoulder, and she smiled back up at him through eyes brimming with unshed tears, remembering their escape from Black Air and the night they'd spent hiding in John's flat, while Pete's blond magus friend bluffed Threadgold off their trail with a succubus' help. "He said he would, right, Kitty? John don't offer to help much, but he kept his word this time..."

"So, Amanda is back?" Kitty still found that hard to believe. "Is she alive? How? Where...?"

She fell silent when she saw Meggan shaking her head slightly. "No, Amanda's not alive again, Kitty, she's a ghost. But Betsy and I can sense her, and communicate with her... and bring her back..."

Deliberately ignoring the surprised questions following that last comment, Betsy picked up her tale again. "She went to find Kurt -- and Margali -- to rescue one and get revenge on the other. She found Kurt, but he couldn't -- or wouldn't -- respond to her, so she tried to free him by taking over Margali's body. But that just got Margali killed, and Black Air knew about Amanda then, and threatened Kurt to keep her in line..."

Kitty had been squirming impatiently, and now interrupted. "What did you mean, Meggan, you can bring her back?" She flinched at Betsy's glare, moderating her sharp tone immediately. "What can you possibly do?"

"I can let her have my body," Meggan whispered. "She wants to stay, and I want to go..."

"And I said no!" Betsy's desperation was obvious to the rest of the tiny, stunned audience. "I've lost Brian, I'm not going to lose you too!"

Kitty clutched Wisdom's hand harder, trying to stifle her sobs as Meggan spoke in a slightly firmer voice. "I love you too, Betsy, but you can't keep me, and you shouldn't try. I want to go to Brian. Please, help me do this one last thing for Kurt and Amanda before I go..."

Finally, the violet-tressed telepath nodded slowly, reluctantly. She gestured to Kitty to move away and, when the young girl had stood up and stepped back a pace or two, took both Meggan's hands in her own, violet eyes closing in concentration as she linked with the blonde elemental. Clasped tightly in Pete's arms, Kitty saw Meggan's wasted figure waver, and felt Wisdom's gasp when Meggan's seldom-seen true form slowly began to shine forth, filling the cubicle with the soft glow of her ethereal beauty for one long, glorious moment, until her figure wavered yet again, to reform into Amanda's lush shape, while Betsy let her hands fall and murmured gently, "Goodby, Meggan..."