If you want to comment, send email to <luba@lubakmetyk.net>

Part 3

Wisdom's return to consciousness the second time around was a bit easier than the first. He hurt more -- he'd had enough experience over the years to know that meant the last traces of general anaesthesia were finally wearing off -- but he didn't feel the desperate, panicked urgency he'd felt fighting his way back to consciousness that first time.

He still heaved a sigh of relief when he forced apart heavy eyelids, and saw Kitty sitting by his bedside. She was holding one of his hands in hers, not only awake but obviously unharmed; however, he still *had* to doublecheck. He curled his fingers around hers, rasping "You ok?"

She'd been staring abstractedly at a monitor beeping softly in time with his heartbeat for some time, and must have missed him opening his eyes, because now she jumped at the sudden, unexpected return pressure and the sound of his hoarse, low voice. "Pete! You're awake! Yes, of course I'm fine -- and you will be too, Moira promised," she smiled down at him brilliantly -- although her fingers crushing down on his and the sparkle of unshed tears in those big brown eyes suggested it might have been a near-run thing.

"Bah!" Pete had more important things on his mind right now than his ritual bitching about MacTaggert -- he might even be willing to admit (to himself) the Scots harriden might know her job, whatever he might *say*. But he couldn't shake his last thoughts, before he'd blacked out again. "Bloody hell, I didn't think Scicluna would get somebody after me up 'ere so quick, but I should 'ave figured she wouldn't waste any time takin' me -- us -- out." Even through all the aches and pains, he still felt a faint twinge of regret that he'd dragged Kitty into his mess with Black Air by letting her go into their Dream Nails base with him... and an even stronger flare of awe and appreciation that she'd elected to stand by him, then and after.

Hearing him hack to clear his dry throat, his new lover reached out to pick up a glass of ice water standing nearby, guiding the straw Rahne had thoughtfully provided into his mouth so he could suck in several eager swallows. "No, it's nothing to do with that..."

"Huh? How do you-- oh, you recognized him?" His years as an agent had taught him the hard way not to cling too strongly to theories and preconceptions, however logical or obvious they seemed, but to keep at least a corner of his mind open to other possibilities. He switched mental gears automatically. "One o' yer lot's bad guys, then, was he? Wot just wanted t' welcome me onto yer team properlike?" "Yes -- I mean, no..." Kitty turned away briefly, carefully setting the glass back down again. "I mean, yes, we all recognized him but no, he's not one of Excalibur's enemies... You'd have recognized him too, from the files, if you'd had a bit of time to think -- he's Peter Rasputin, Colossus--"

Pete stared up at her in considerable astonishment. "One o' yer ol' X-Men mates? But he's one o' you... No, I remember now, he went off with Magneto, right?"

"He left Magneto a while ago -- well, actually, something happened, Avalon was destroyed... I don't know exactly what happened, to Avalon *or* to Magneto... but Peter showed up back at Westchester with Callisto -- he was helping her regain control of the Morlocks, I guess he felt responsible for what happened to them because it was his brother who--" She must have noticed his eyes glazing over; she stopped and took a deep breath, then, staring down fixedly at their joined hands, said quietly, "He was back in Westchester a while ago, but he didn't stay, he disappeared again -- the X-Men didn't know where he'd gone, but I guess now we know, he was on his way here, to see me... to see us, I mean, Kurt and Moira and Rahne and Amanda... and me..."

He wasn't following all her babbling, by any means, but what he was able to gather had him tensing up as much as her obvious nervousness did. "Then why--?"

Her head hung down, long brown hair shadowing her face as she replied slowly, in a low tone he had to strain to hear, "He... he was jealous..."

"Wot?" He tried to rear up out of the bed, and had to fall back groaning in pain. "Yer his girl?!"

Kitty leaned over immediately, crooning soothingly as she pushed him back down gently but firmly, then lifted one hand to push her hair back as she looked him right in the eye. "No, of course not! It's just... I had this *major* crush on him years ago -- I was *14* then, Pete! There wasn't anything except a few double dates with Kurt and Amanda... ok, maybe a few kisses but that's it, really -- nothing earth-shattering, not like... us," her cheeks flushed a delicate rosy pink. "Then he came back from a mission one day and just calmly told me he'd fallen in love with someone else and there was no chance for me, for us. So we've just been friends, good friends, ever since... But his sister was my best friend back when I was with the X-Men, and she died just a while ago -- that's when he ran away with Magneto, during her funeral -- and I think it's more like I'm a stand-in for Illyana -- that's his sister -- *not* his 'girl' like you mean--"

It had taken Pete a moment, since his head was aching far worse than the worst hangover he'd ever had -- and Kitty wasn't exactly giving him the most organized briefing he'd ever heard -- but what had sounded like pure gibberish at the time now suddenly 'clicked' into focus. "That's what he was on about!"

"What?" Kitty stared down at him, confused by his interruption.

"He kept ravin' how he'd come so far to 'his Katya', how I'd taken away 'his Katya' -- I couldn't figure wot he meant, but that was *you* he was on about, right?"

"Yes... but really it's not like that, it's all in his head..."

His own head hurt, and his eyes were having more and more trouble focusing properly, but he could still see certain things clearly. "Wot ain't you tellin' me, Pryde?" She wasn't lying, he'd stake his soul on that -- but she was uncomfortable about something, given the way she was now trying to -- but couldn't quite -- look him in the eye like before.

She hesitated another moment, then rather obviously took another deep breath -- and an even tighter grip on the hand she was still holding. "Kurt... he told me a little while ago, and he's telling the others right now... he's asked Peter to stay, to join the team..."

"Wot?!" Not that his current condition was exactly conducive to lucid thinking anyway, but that was so far from anything he'd been imagining, anything he might expect, that it took him a long moment of stunned silence to fully take in what she'd said. Then he just couldn't help it, his first reaction was a bitter "Christ, Pryde, if you'd all changed yer minds about me stayin' on, you could 'ave just *said* so!"

"No!" Her fingers squeezed down firmly. "Nobody's thinking of you leaving. Peter's staying has nothing to do with you... nothing to do with not wanting you here, I mean, of course it's because he hurt you that Kurt thinks Peter needs help -- and I agree with him about that -- and he thinks this is the best place for Peter to get that help. I'm still not sure I agree, not completely, but Kurt did have some good reasons, so--"

"Why the bleedin' hell would you agree to somethin' as bloody stupid as that?!" His hoarse voice cracked again, and Kitty leaned forward, to retrieve the glass of ice water and hold it back up to his lips, so he could draw in several more greedy gulps.

"Because I'm partly to blame -- maybe, *mostly* to blame. Because the Professor had me call Peter, tell him I still cared, I wanted to be with him... I didn't want to do it, really I didn't, but the Professor and Jean talked me into it. It was the only way the Professor could get him back down from Avalon to treat his head injury, he was afraid Peter had some brain damage--"

"Wot makes you think he's got a brain in 'is head t' be damaged?" Wisdom couldn't help interrupting, sourly. "Couldn't prove it by me--"

"No, really -- he was hurt in a battle right when Illyana was dying, and they got back right after she died and I don't think anybody realized how badly he'd been hurt until later, after the funeral, but he'd left with Magneto by then--"

"An' o' course it never occurred t' any o' yer X-wankers t' simply ring 'im up an' *tell* him?" And why did that not surprise him?

"Tell him the Professor thought he'd behaved so irrationally at Illyana's funeral, deciding to run off with Magneto, because he was brain-damaged? I don't think that would have gone over too well with Peter -- or Magneto and his true believers -- not in general, and *especially* not right after the big battle on Avalon, where Logan was hurt so badly, and Magneto was hurt so badly... I don't think either side was in much mood to talk -- or listen -- just then."

She ignored his dour mutter about "Never bloody know if you never bleedin' try, Pryde" and pressed on determinedly, "I think that was one of the reasons the Professor wanted me to talk to Peter, get him back down -- because Excalibur -- because *I* -- hadn't been part of the fight on Avalon... But really, it was mostly because the Professor thought Peter still had feelings for me, and he made me use those feelings against Peter, and I didn't want to but I did, and I felt bad about it, so when Peter left I tried to tell him I really did have feelings for him, it wasn't all just a lie... except not *those* kind of feelings -- so, you see, it's my fault if Peter misunderstood, if he thought I still had those feelings for him and came back to me... and saw us together..."

Her grip on his hand tightened painfully. "Oh, Pete -- if it was my fault he hurt you, I'm so sorry, and you know I'd never agree if I thought it meant you'd be hurt again, but you're going to be okay and maybe Kurt's right, maybe all Peter needs is some time with his friends to put it all together again... So we need to give him that chance, just like the others were all willing to give *you* the same chance..."

He didn't have the strength right now, to explain to her that *his* safety wasn't what he was worried about, or to argue the philosophical differences between his own situation and her ex-boyfriend, much less figure out if she might be right about being to blame in any way. And whether she was right or not didn't matter as much as the fact she felt she was to blame, and she felt she needed to make that up to the stupid pisshead who'd just used him for a punching bag -- and she was asking his support. Not overtly, maybe, but those big eyes staring at him so imploringly told their own story.

She'd supported him without question in Dream Nails and later, when they'd gotten back, after Wagner's lecture had made him realize he was dragging her into his personal battle with Black Air -- she'd insisted on sticking with him, even when he'd warned her about what she was getting into. She'd supported him without question, without hesitation, and he knew the fact that Black Air had attacked her personally, and would likely come after her no matter what, hadn't much affected her decision. She'd trusted him to make the right decision -- even if starting a one-man war with Black Air didn't much look like a good... or even *sane*... move -- and now she was asking his support for her decision -- just as she'd asked her teammates for their support for her new relationship, and her desire for him to stay and join the team. Her teammates *had* accepted her decision to be with him, and to have him to join the team, even if some of them obviously thought it was a terrible idea... and even though, if he were honest with himself, *he* thought they were being dangerously naive to agree to his joining. And now he had to do the same, he had to support her request -- even if he thought it was a terrible, stupid idea to have Kitty's obviously unstable ex-boyfriend hanging around.

Besides, he didn't have the strength left to argue any more, not right now. All he could do was nod faintly, as he started sliding back down into unconsciousness. Of course he'd support her, just as she'd supported him... just as he'd make sure to stand behind her, and watch her back, until he could convince her she was in danger -- whether that stupid wanker believed she still had feelings for him or realized now that she didn't, either might make him lash out at her in frustration if he were really as fucked up as it sounded.

But how to convince this bunch of naive do-gooders of that...