80. Hope Renewed
"Oh my God!" Willow squealed like
an excited
little girl as she took in the lavish surroundings that met the eyes of
the little group, as the door of the spacious guesthouse behind the
governor's mansion, where they would be staying, closed behind the men
who had escorted them there. "Look at this place!"
They took their time, wandering through the large, lavish house with
wide-eyed amazement at the rich luxury of the haven that would shelter
them until Riley's men were no longer a threat to them.
Only Giles did not seem terribly impressed by the set-up; he had seen
much more elaborate homes during his time in England, back when he was
still with the Council. Such things had ceased to impress him, long
before he had discovered the deceits on which the very Council itself
was built. When he had first come to America to be a Watcher to the
most impetuous, difficult Slayer the Council had ever known, he had
thought that he would die for want of the comforts he had been used to
in England.
Now, he did not care if he was destitute and homeless – if the ones he
loved were safe and with him.
"Check out the size of this bedroom," Xander announced, an almost awed
note in his voice, as he stood in the doorway to one of the five
bedrooms that the house contained.
Tara stopped on her way down the hallway to peer around him into the
room, her eyes widening at the sight of the ornate, wrought-iron bed
that seemed to take up half the room. "Check out the size of that
*bed*!" she remarked.
Just as thoughts of Willow and herself in that gorgeous bed were
beginning to fill her mind, Anya pushed past her, not even realizing
that she was being a bit rude, and promptly sat on the edge of the
intimidating piece of furniture – not the least bit intimidated by it –
bouncing a couple of times experimentally.
"Ours," she claimed the room with a matter-of-fact announcement.
"Ahn," Xander said with a smile of soft amusement, as he crossed the
room to sit down beside her. "You know, someone else might like the –
um, the *room*, too. And you *do* remember how you got to be – well –
in your current condition, don't you?" he teased her.
"Yep." Anya nodded, a mischievous gleam in her sparkling eyes. "And I
also know I can't get this way again for at least nine months."
The wicked glimmer in her green eyes drew a slow, appreciative grin to
her husband's face – a grin which was suddenly swallowed up by a
startled but delighted expression as Anya lunged for Xander, devouring
his mouth with her own, pushing him down on the bed.
Tara smiled, with a good-natured roll of her eyes, and discreetly
closed the door, leaving Anya and Xander to christen the bedroom which
would officially be theirs for the duration of the Scoobies' stay here.
She was sure that the other rooms would be just as nice, and she was
more than willing to be generous with the deeply in love, expectant
young parents.
She knew that the terrifying hours of their separation had seemed much
longer to both of them.
She turned and made her way back down the hallway, to the comfortable
living room where most of the others were resting, talking in quietly
optimistic, excited tones, speculating about what the governor might
want with their friend the vampire slayer.
Their initial apprehension, for the most part, had faded away with
Giles' acceptance of the soldiers who had come to their rescue in the
old Initiative tunnels. Although he was technically only *Buffy's*
Watcher – and not even that anymore – they all saw him as a protector,
a leader...and in some cases, a father.
If Giles trusted the governor and his men – so did they.
Tara sat down on the sofa beside Willow, putting her arm around the
smaller girl casually, enjoying the relief she felt at being able to
just sit peacefully with her girlfriend, without having to wonder if in
the next moment, their lives would be in terrible danger yet again.
She glanced around at the others, who seemed to be having a similar
reaction to the sudden safety that they had found themselves in. Giles
sat comfortably in a large, thickly upholstered recliner, a calm smile
on his face, his eyes closed, looking more relaxed than Tara had seen
him in months.
Aaron and Mara sat on the couch, comfortably close to each other, and
to Willow and Tara. She could see traces of anxiety and uncertainty
remaining in both of their faces, but it was slight; she knew they were
trying their best to trust Giles' judgment. But, like Spike, they had
years of torture and slavery behind them that made it difficult to
trust the intentions of any human who had not already proven themselves.
Tara frowned suddenly. "Where's Julian?" she asked quietly.
"Asleep." Giles opened his eyes long enough to respond, and the
overwhelming relief in them was as clear as the utter exhaustion. "The
lad's seen enough suffering tonight, I shouldn't wonder if he sleeps
for a week." He closed his eyes again, nestling deeper into the
recliner as he added through a yawn, "Lord knows *I* intend to."
Moments later, the Watcher was lost to them for the time being, and
Tara turned to look at Willow with a contented smile.
"I think I'm gonna go look in on Julian," she informed her as she stood
slowly, her arm sliding across her lover's shoulder and down her arm as
she did.
Willow's hand rose to take Tara's for just a moment, giving it an
affectionate squeeze, as she returned her smile with a nod. "Down the
hall, last door on the left."
Tara found the room easily, and opened the door just a bit to peek in
on her friend. By the dim glow of the bedside lamp, she saw to her
surprise that he was lying awake in the bed, propped up on several
pillows – his eyes focused in concentration on a spot on the far wall,
as his features slid slowly in and out of his vampiric face.
She felt a moment's alarm at the unusual sight – which was quickly
overwhelmed by a sort of awed sense of wonder, as she realized that the
repeated changes in Julian's face were deliberate, and she was
captivated by the rare mystical beauty of the sight. Through the lenses
of their friendship, she saw even Julian's vampire face as beautiful.
And the ability he had regained, unfettered now by the chip that had
restrained it -- *that* was breathtaking to her.
He suddenly noticed her standing there in the doorway, and gave her a
startled look, his face automatically slipping back into his human
features, a self-conscious expression coming over his face.
"Tara," he said with a slightly awkward laugh. "Um...what are you...I
mean...I was just..."
Tara shook her head, her smile easing his worries as she entered the
room. "I didn't mean to bother you. I just – well – you gave us quite a
scare, Honey. I just – wanted to be sure you were okay."
He nodded slowly, his embarrassment fading away with the ease of their
friendship, as she took a seat in the chair near his bed. "I was just..."
he began again, frowning as he tried to find the words to explain.
"It's – it's been so long since I could even – I just – had to prove to
myself that I still could, I guess..."
Tara nodded her silent understanding.
"So – Buffy turned the chips off...but..." He hesitated, giving Tara an
uncertain look. There was a guarded hope in his eyes as he asked in a
forcedly casual voice, "When do you think they'll come back on?"
"I hope they don't ever," she answered immediately, a dark anger in her
eyes and her voice.
But she knew that his question was a valid one. Buffy and Spike were
meeting with the governor as they spoke. Once he found out what the
Slayer had done to the chips, there was no telling what he might do.
Tara knew that Buffy would do her best to convince him that the chips
in general were a terrible thing – but they had no way of knowing what
he would decide.
"I don't know," she finally answered honestly, meeting his gaze with a
silent apology that she could not offer him more certainty. "Buffy's
talking to the governor. I'm sure she's doing her best to convince him
that – well – that things have to change."
Julian looked away from her, his eyes thoughtful as he considered her
words. "And if he doesn't believe her?"
"Well," Tara began slowly. "If he doesn't believe her about the chips –
he *has* to believe her about Riley. We have absolute evidence. So
either way, Riley's slave organization is going down...so...even if they
turn the chips back on..."
"*Riley's* men won't be able to hurt us," Julian finished for her, a
skeptical note to his voice. He paused, before adding with a sadly
cynical smile. "But any *other* human that gets it in their head to –
well, they'd be free to do what they want – right?"
Tara's apologetic smile returned his look as she said, "Julian, I wish
I could tell you for sure. But I think that no matter what the governor
decides, it's gonna be obvious that what Riley was doing was *not*
working. They're gonna *have* to change things. Riley's group has
created a huge problem, and now the government is gonna have no choice
but to step in and help fix it."
Her words were intended to be encouraging. But after a moment's
silence, Julian said in a quiet, serious voice, "And what if their idea
of 'fixing the problem' is just eliminating – the problem – altogether?"
It took Tara a moment to understand what he was saying – and when she
did, she felt a cold sense of fear go through her at the very real
possibility that he was bringing up. She knew that after viewing the
video, after seeing the documents that Buffy and Spike had found, the
governor would not be able to deny the facts that Riley was nothing
more than the lowest sort of criminal, and that the slavery movement
was cruel and inhumane.
But what if his idea of a "humane" way of dealing with the vampire
slaves was to "eliminate" them, as Julian had said – to put them down,
like nothing more than rabid dogs, or any other sort of dangerous
animal?
She had no answer for that for a moment, as her mind rebelled against
the very idea. Surely Buffy would be able to convince him – but – after
everything that the tapes had to have also revealed about the Slayer
herself...
She just did not know.
But there was one thing that she *did* know.
"Whatever happens," she assured the quiet young vampire, looking up at
her with a trusting, expectant question in her eyes. "You know that
Giles and I and all the others will *not* let them hurt you – or Aaron,
or Mara. No matter what."
Even as she spoke, she could feel her heart sinking with the thoughts
that she knew Julian must be entertaining as well. How could she tell
him that they would never allow anyone to hurt him, after what he had
just experienced that night? In the supposed safety of her own home,
where they had thought that no one could find them – certainly that no
one could *hurt* them...
Riley had nearly killed Julian.
Unspeakable pain, psychological and physical torture, that the boy had
endured for months, being told all the while that he was *safe* with
them – how could her useless words now reassure him in the face of
those very real, very recent memories?
She looked up reluctantly to the vampire's eyes, wanting, but afraid,
to see the expression there. She expected doubt, disbelief, and most
hurtful of all, the evidence that the trust they had convinced him to
place in them – in *her* -- was broken.
She expected anything but what she saw.
Julian's jaw was set, his expression a thoughtful frown for a moment.
Then, he slowly nodded, a light of determination in his eyes as they
met hers, with obvious relief and reassurance.
"You're right," he said quietly. "Whatever happens, we're going to be
okay."
Tara was surprised into silence, but waited for him to go on, not
wanting to say anything to create doubt where there was unexpected
faith. Julian noticed the surprise, the uncertainty in her own soft
grey eyes, and laughed softly – and she returned his smile with a
rueful one of her own, acknowledging wordlessly that her attempts at
reassuring him of what she did not believe herself had been found out.
"You're right, Tara," he spoke of what she had not voiced aloud. "Riley
tried to kill me tonight. He almost did. He managed to get to me in a
way that he thought was completely foolproof. No way around it. You
couldn't fight him away from me – because he wasn't really there.
Couldn't magic it away – because his magic was stronger. I *knew* he
was gonna win. *Knew* I was gonna die," he informed her, his deep blue
eyes earnest and intense as they held her gaze.
He leaned forward in the bed as she automatically leaned toward him,
becoming caught up in the passion with which he was speaking, as he
placed a cool but firm hand on hers and went on in a soft but powerful
voice, full of intense meaning, a triumphant light of understanding in
his eyes.
"But I *didn't*!"
He paused, allowing those words to sink in for her, searching her eyes
to see if she understood, excitement building in his.
"The way things looked, Riley should have won. There was no way to beat
him. End of story," he explained. "Except – we *did* beat him. Buffy
and Spike did. In a more total way – as in, total destruction of his
entire life, way...." he added with an uncharacteristic smirk. "We *all*
did. If not for Willow, Buffy couldn't have gotten the evidence to the
governor. If not for – for *all* of you, I would have been left to die
in your house whenever Riley's men showed up to finish what I didn't...I
guess...I guess what I'm trying to say is..."
He paused, thinking again, his eyes downcast, before he looked up at
her suddenly with a brilliant smile as it hit him.
"*We're* stronger. All of us, together. Whatever happens, no matter how
bad it looks – we're gonna find a way. We found a way this time, when
it should have been impossible. If we can beat Riley – beat a whole
powerful organization with government ties that has changed the course
of an entire society...well..."
He smiled with an almost shy little shrug that was just so – so
*Julian* that Tara wanted to reach out and impulsively hug him, as he
concluded softly, "I guess we can beat anything."
With tears of joy in her eyes, her heart feeling so full she thought
she would burst, Tara gave into the impulse, pulling her friend into
her arms as she replied in a tearful whisper, knowing in her heart that
it was true, as she echoed his wording with more certainty than the
words themselves implied.
" 'I guess' you're right, Julian. 'I guess' you're right!"