82. Blurred Edges
Buffy stared in shock at the
sleeping child,
the image of innocence and darkness melded into one – at least, if the
teachings that had guided her for the past ten years were to be
believed – which by this point she was very sure was not the case. She
was finding it difficult to believe that any evil resided in the
angelic form before her.
No, the true evil lay with the man who had placed this stunning child
at the mercy of a vicious monster who had stolen the light from her and
irrevocably changed her life forever.
"The slave simply vanished," the governor began to explain, his voice
hushed, his eyes distant, as he recounted the painful story. "During
the rush of trying to find him, it was discovered that my young
daughter had disappeared from the supposed safety of her room. It was
obvious what had happened."
He paused, swallowing hard, clearly vying for control against
overwhelming emotion. Finally he continued, "The vampire was captured,
and brought back alive for the purpose of -- interrogation." The
hardness that had crept into the man's eyes made it quite clear that
the interrogation would have been brutal and merciless.
Of course – neither Buffy nor Spike could blame him.
"But before we could even begin to question him, he was overtaken by a
– a fever of some sort." The governor's thoughtful frown turned to just
the hint of a satisfied smile as he remarked mildly, "It seemed quite
painful." He cleared his throat before going on, "At any rate, he was
in too much pain to be coherent, and after a couple of hours the
creature was destroyed completely."
"Dusted?" Buffy clarified quietly, remembering what her friends had
told her of Julian's condition, and their reasons for retreating to the
Initiative caves, during their brief communications that evening. It
sickened her to think that Riley was capable of such cruelty – though
if anyone deserved such a fate, she thought darkly, it was any creature
that would do what had been done to the innocent child before them.
The governor confirmed the answer to her question with a grim nod. "At
that point – I gave in to my fears that my little girl was – gone. For
good. It was clear that the slave had taken her, and with him no longer
available to tell what had happened, and no sign of Savannah – well – I
simply assumed the worst."
He paused before adding in a soft, haunted voice as he gave his baby
daughter a look of aching sorrow.
"Or rather – I thought I did."
The silence that fell over the room for the next few moments was heavy
with a poignant sense of sorrow that suffused them all – not just the
father of the violated child. Buffy stared at her with wide, solemn
eyes, thinking of all that she could have been – the barely birthed
dreams that had to have been beginning to take shape in the child's
heart...
Stolen away. Destroyed before they had a chance to begin.
"How did you find her?" she asked softly, her voice choked with tears
of her own.
"I didn't," the governor replied. "She found me." He paused, shaking
his head slightly as if in an effort to shake off the control of the
emotions that gripped him. "A few nights later – the search for her was
still in full swing. The story was all over the news...but there was no
sign of her. Her mother and I – well, we'd just about given up hope."
"I'd taken to driving late at night – looking for her. I don't think I
really expected to find her at that point – but I looked just the same.
I came home one night, and – and she was just -- *there*. Sitting out
on the porch, swinging her legs over the edge like she'd done so many
times before. She was – she was singing...to herself. She seemed so – so
content and happy – as if – as if she – knew she was going to be all
right – because she'd made it home."
"I was so overjoyed to see her! I couldn't believe she was really
there, and apparently not hurt! Her little face just lit up when she
saw me, and she just threw her arms around me and jumped up into my
arms like – like any other time. I was just so happy, and so relieved,
and I just kept thinking – kept thinking that it was just – too good to
be true."
The soft, distant voice trailed off, the speaker lost in his memories
for a few moments. When he spoke again, there was a weary, flat sound
to his voice – as if the pain of the memory had eaten at him for so
long that there was little emotion left, though they knew by the tears
shining in his eyes that that was not the case.
"When I tried to take my little girl into the house – I found out that
it was."
"The barrier," Buffy surmised softly with a nod. "You couldn't take her
in."
He nodded. "I didn't want to accept it at first – but I already knew. I
invited my own little girl to come in, and the barrier disappeared. I
knew, but – but I couldn't admit it to myself at first – kept denying
it. Didn't tell my wife about having to invite her in or any of my
suspicions – until she wanted to alert the press."
A slight grimace at the memory of facing up to the harsh reality
crossed his face as he continued, "I knew that we'd have to have her
seen by doctors, there'd be all kinds of questions and snooping around
into our business – and there'd be no way to keep it a secret. And if
it got out what had happened to Savannah – what – Savannah *is*, now –
there's no telling what might happen to her."
"So – you let everybody think she hadn't been found – let them close
the case and declare her dead," Buffy finished for him quietly. "To
protect her."
"Yes."
Buffy stared at the child, as a slight frown creased the peaceful,
angelic face, and she turned restlessly in her sleep. "What about –
when she gets older? I mean – I know that she won't, but – I mean..." Her
voice trailed off, and though it was too dark to see it, Spike could
sense the blush that spread across her face as she realized that she
had said to much.
The governor did not seem offended, but the question obviously troubled
him. "I have thought of that – and to be honest with you, Buffy, I
still have no answer. All I know is that – although she may be a
vampire, the creature that returned to me that night is still every bit
my baby girl. I love her still, and will protect her and take care of
her as long as I am physically able to do so."
His face darkened with a shadow of pain as he added softly, "It's after
that – when I am not able – no longer even here – that troubles me."
The true horror of the situation began to sink in for Buffy as she
thought about the implications of what had been done to the little
girl. She would never grow older – not a day – physically. Would her
mind, her heart, remain those of a child, as her body failed to develop
and thrive as it naturally should have? When her father and mother had
passed away, as they naturally would someday – who would care for her
then?
"So – it's because of Savannah – that you support the abolitionist
movement?" Buffy asked cautiously, a slight frown of apprehension on
her face. "What happened to her – made you – sympathetic to our cause?"
That just did not make sense to her. If anything, she could see what
had been done to his daughter creating a hatred in the governor's heart
for all vampires, a desire to see them destroyed, rather than freed and
delivered from the slavery that currently kept them at the very least
restrained from doing such harm.
Unless, of course – Riley *wanted* them to do such harm.
The governor understood her hesitation, and turned toward her with an
ironic little half-smile. "Not immediately," he admitted. "At first – I
wanted nothing more than to see all vampires put to death. I knew that
it was not going to happen, not right away, anyway. The slave trade's
too valuable to too many people. So I couldn't take the vengeance I
wanted to for my baby."
The traces of dark anger that remained in his voice made Spike tense
beside Buffy, and she automatically put a protective arm around his
waist as she slid closer to him, her own expression guarded and
cautious as for the first time since leaving his office, she wondered
about the governor's intentions.
He went on, his eyes focused on Savannah, not seeming to notice the
change in the demeanor of his guests.
"That was why when Finn came to me a few weeks later, offering his
condolences on my loss – and a plan for increasing the restrictions on
the slaves – more extensive training, greater restrictions through the
control chips, several changes he wanted that would further ensure that
the vampires were not capable of any violence – I agreed to it. I
wanted to be sure that no monster could ever get to my baby girl – or
anyone else – ever again."
"It never occurred to me that the vampire slaves themselves might be
victimized through Riley's plans. And to be quite honest – I didn't
care. It seemed to me that if they were capable of doing such vile
things to an innocent baby like Savannah – then they deserved anything
that happened to them. I was quite willing to subject them to anything
that their human masters desired to do to them."
Spike swallowed hard, glancing furtively at Buffy with rising fear in
his eyes. This did not sound good – not at all. He was beginning to
think that perhaps the governor was planning to attempt to take the
vengeance he had been robbed of before.
Buffy seemed to have the same suspicions, instinctively moving slightly
forward, squaring her shoulders in a very subtle gesture of warning, as
the governor turned slowly to face them, his eyes passing between hers
and Spike's.
Understanding dawned in his eyes, with a slightly sad smile, as he
slowly stepped toward them, his attention focused mainly on Spike,
rather than the rapidly tensing Slayer beside him. Buffy's apprehension
rose as the man closed the distance between them, coming to stand a
bare foot away from the shorter vampire, who was trembling slightly
with dreadful expectation.
Buffy's entire body was poised to spring into action at the first
indication that the governor might mean to hurt Spike. Physically she
knew that her vampire was more than capable of defending himself.
Emotionally – that was another story.
And there was no way that she was letting anyone hurt him again.
When the governor suddenly reached out a hand to grip Spike's arm, she
reacted instinctively as the vampire flinched beside her, her own hand
shooting out to grip the governor's other arm and hold him slightly
back, a warning in her eyes as they met his gaze.
He held her eyes for a long moment, glancing pointedly down at his hand
on the vampire's arm, then back up to her eyes. A look down revealed to
her what he meant for her to see. His grip was firm but not overly
tight – not painful – and not overtly threatening, either. She
slackened her grip, but did not release the much larger man, following
her instincts and deciding to wait, to see what it was that he intended.
But she vowed in her mind that the moment he did anything to hurt Spike
– he would *lose* the arm she still held firmly.
The governor turned his attention back toward Spike, his eyes solemn as
he stood before him silently – and waited.
Spike could feel his intent gaze on him, though his eyes were lowered
with a mixture of fear and shame. But then, he felt Buffy's reassuring
arm around him tighten slightly – a silent promise of love, support,
and protection – and he drew an unexpected strength from it.
Buffy loved him.
She was the powerful, incomparable Slayer – and she found him worthy of
her love.
His lack of a heartbeat and his allergy to the sun did not make him
less than this man. He was every bit as capable of love, of feeling, of
judging right from wrong – and making the correct choice – as was this
man standing before him. His jaw set with determination, and he
swallowed back the lump of fear and uncertainty he felt rising in his
throat.
He was an equal to this man – there was no crime in meeting his eyes.
Against his training, against every experience that had driven it into
him that such confidence in a low creature such as himself merited
extreme suffering – Spike slowly raised his eyes to meet those of the
governor. He did not know if his fear was obvious in his expressive
blue eyes – but he held his gaze unflinchingly, with as much confidence
as he could muster.
He would not be forced to lower his gaze again.
The governor did not react in anger, or the violence that both Slayer
and vampire partially suspected. His smile widened in fact, just a bit,
at the strong reaction from the vampire before him, and a new respect
dawned in his eyes.
"Spike," he said in a quiet but firm voice, holding his gaze. "I'm
sorry."
Spike's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief at the words – but he
did not say a word, did not look away – simply waited for the man to go
on.
"Because of my prejudice, I allowed you and others to become just as
much a victim as my daughter."
Spike blinked, startled by those words. He grimaced slightly at the
comparison. Despite the loss of pride and confidence that he had
suffered during his time of slavery, it was still not very flattering
to hear himself compared to a four-year-old child in terms of his
ability to defend himself.
"I've learned a lot in the past few months," the governor continued
quietly, dropping his hand from Spike's arm and stepping back a bit, as
Buffy released him, the tension slowly easing from her stance. "I've
learned that some *humans* are every bit as much monsters as the one
that killed my daughter – and that not all vampires are."
"At first – she hated to even mention it – still thinks even thinking
it made her a bad mother – but my wife thought that maybe the best
thing would be to stake Savannah. If she wasn't even our little girl
anymore – just some demon in her body – then perhaps it would be right
to end her existence."
The governor paused, then shook his head slowly. "I couldn't bring
myself to do that," he said quietly. "Never. I – I told her we should
wait – see if it became necessary. But – it never did. Savannah has
behaved much the same way she always did. She has never once attempted
to attack her mother or me, or any of our household staff. When she
gets hungry, she shows her vampire face."
His face fell into a ruefully affectionate smile. "We try not to let
that happen."
"But she still hugs me – still wants to be cuddled and held and played
with like any four-year-old child. She still loves – fears – needs..." He
hesitated, his voice trembling over the word, "...cries. She has
nightmares of what was done to her. She's tried her best to explain it,
and I know that that monster hurt her terribly before he turned her."
He turned his eyes back to Spike, who was looking at him with some
uncertainty as to what he was about to say. "But," he continued firmly.
"There are humans who have done as much to their victims – only left
them considerably more *dead* than my daughter is at the moment." He
paused. "And not all of *their* victims were human."
"What it comes down to," he said softly, looking back to his daughter.
"is this. No sentient being should be placed in a position to be
victimized. Ever. I have seen from my own little girl that vampires
have the potential to be good. And from your husband, Buffy," he went
on, "that humans have the potential to be evil. And all must be given
the chance to prove themselves as one or the other before being judged."
He looked back at Spike as he added, "And not all of them stay one way
or the other. Both species have the capability to change."
Buffy nodded slowly, feeling her hope rising up again, with a powerful
sense of relief. He was on their side; he was going to help them.
When he spoke again, his tone held business-like sort of air to it.
"You don't have to worry about what's going to happen to either of you
because of what happened to Mr. Finn. He will be going to prison
himself, and I will speak to the proper officials to be sure that no
charges are brought against you. Self defense. That's what it was."
Buffy slowly returned the conspiratorial smile that was on the
governor's face as he looked at her. She flashed that same smile at
Spike, her arm squeezing him gently as excitement sparkled in her eyes.
It was beginning to appear that at long last, they had actually won.
Buffy decided to push their advantage. "And my plan?" she asked,
waiting with bated breath for the man's response concerning the fate of
the soon-to-be freed vampires.
He was silent for a moment, before his smile widened and he said
quietly,
"By all means – carry on."