**You* did this, Will...you did...when you brought her back...*

"Okay, I know you're not happy with my doing magic, Tara, but this is *not* my fault!" Willow objected after a long, tense moment as they all took in the weight of Tara's softly spoken accusation. "I didn't do anything to make Buffy...to make her look like that...to make her do those things..."

"*If* she even did them," Xander pointed out. "I'm still not convinced that that...that thing we saw in there even was Buffy!"

"Of course it was Buffy!" Tara snapped, clearly outraged by his words, before turning back toward Willow with just as much force. "And I am *not* just talking about how she looked! I just told you what made her look like that! *I* made her look that way...but all I did was to make what's already there on the inside show on the outside! If you guys still can't accept that..."

"Tara," Willow broke in, shaking her head, her wide eyes glistening with tears, "it *is* a little hard to accept. Surely you can see that..."

"Yeah," Xander agreed, his eyes narrowed and openly hostile as he glared past her at the blond vampire behind her. "And it's a lot to take on faith, too, Tara, especially if we're taking *his* word for it! I mean, come on...she hasn't actually done anything to hurt anyone except Deadboy here, right? So how do we really know...?"

Stunned by the calloused nature of Xander's comments, Tara glanced anxiously at Spike, who was standing a bit off to the side, looking very uncomfortable. His eyes were downcast, his arms crossed defensively across his chest, and she turned just in time to catch his slight flinch at Xander's hostile words.

It was enough to infuriate the blonde witch who loved him.

"Should it matter who she hurt, Xander?" Tara demanded. "Isn't it enough that she's done those things to *anyone*? Spike is a person, too, whether you think so or..."

"Spike is a *monster*!" Xander declared, moving forward and glaring at Tara defiantly, his dark eyes daring her to argue the point. "He's a murderer who's killed hundreds if not *thousands* of people, and he tried to kill Buffy a dozen times before she ever *touched* him! You wanna talk rape and torture? He's done the same thing over and over again for the past two hundred years! Just ask him and *see* if he denies it, because I know he did, and if you ask me at this point he deserves anything he gets!"

Tara was about to rise to Spike's defense again, when the vampire surprised her by speaking up softly, his voice low and hesitant as he put in humbly, "I...I haven't...haven't hurt anyone...not for years..."

"Because of the chip," Xander pointed out, his eyes narrowed and his voice full of seething disgust. "Because you *can't*."

"That's n-not true..."

"Yes, it is, Spike." As he spoke, Xander stepped past Tara, moving into Spike's space as he continued in a cold, spiteful tone, "You're nothing but a vicious dog on a leash, and sooner or later you're gonna break it! Somebody's gotta keep you under control, and if you ask me, whatever Buffy has to do to keep you leashed is fine by me!"

"Get away from him!" Tara commanded, her voice low and authoritative as she grabbed Xander's shoulder and spun him around, pulling him away from Spike with a physical strength that she did not ordinarily possess.

Xander stumbled to a stop a few steps away, staring between Tara's face and her fingertips, which were still covered in glittering little sparks of electric magic, the magic she had used to make her strong enough to put a stop to Xander's bullying. His eyes were wide as finally met her eyes accusingly.

"What...what did you do?"

"Magic," Willow answered for her ex-girlfriend, a smug little smirk on her lips, and Tara felt a hot rush of uncomfortable shame flood her cheeks at the insinuation in the redhead's tone. "Thought it was too dangerous to be using so carelessly, Tara?"

"I...I wasn't being careless," Tara retorted quietly. "I didn't even...I mean..."

"It wasn't intentional," Anya supplied helpfully with a knowing smile. "Magic's like that. If you use it on any kind of a regular basis at all, when your emotions are high...well, it makes you that much more powerful."

"Anyway," Tara continued, clearing her throat, "that's not the point. The point is that he's been through enough and you are going to *back off*! The point is stopping Buffy before it's too late!"

His eyes widening in alarm, Xander took a hasty step backward as Tara moved deliberately between him and Spike. Still, he stubbornly argued, "The point is *helping* Buffy get back to herself again! I am *not* doing this for him!"

"Okay, okay!" Angel broke in, stepping forward in preparation to separate the angry boy and the witch who appeared ready to turn him into something extremely unpleasant. "Let's everybody listen to the guy who actually lives here for a second, okay?"

A bit taken aback, Tara and Xander both turned their attention on the dark vampire, as did the others in the lobby.

"If we can help Buffy, we will. Of course we will," Angel stated quietly but firmly. "The problem is, at this point...that may not be possible."

"We're not going to just...just give up on her!" Willow exclaimed, outrage in her voice. "She's saved us so many times! We can't just...just let her go..."

"That's what you should have done a long time ago, Willow," Tara retorted, her voice trembling with anger. When the Scoobies turned toward her, a single stunned question in their eyes, she continued in a softer voice, not without compassion, "Yes. She saved us all, more than once. And the last time she did...she paid the ultimate price." She paused a moment before adding, "And you should have let her be."

"You mean just...just *let* her stay dead?" Willow was incredulous, her eyes welling with bitter tears as she shook her head in denial.

"*Yes*."

In the stunned silence that followed, Angel took up where she had left off. "I think what Tara's saying is...Willow...it kind of looks like...whatever you brought back...isn't the Buffy we all knew. And...and loved. She's not...not herself. Not...*complete*."

"Buffy was a hero," Tara stated firmly. "There's no disputing that. But...but I think she came back wrong, Willow. I think there were some very...very vital parts that got...left behind in that resurrection spell. And now...we may have no choice but to just...just put things right again. The way they were, before..."

"‘Put things right'?" Willow echoed in disbelief, her voice shaking now with rage. "You're talking about...about killing her again as *putting things right*? How can you even say that?"

"Maybe it was just her time, Will. You can't play God! You can't just change things because they don't turn out how you want them! Buffy gave her life to save ours...and maybe that's what was *supposed* to happen! Did you ever think about that?" Tara argued, her voice rising with the intensity of her emotions.

"No, actually, it never crossed my mind!" Willow snapped. "I was more thinking about how I could rescue my best friend from some kind of terrible hell dimension. I wasn't focused so much on the philosophy of whether or not it was meant to be!"

"Glory's portal killed her...but you destroyed her."

The low, anguished voice drew the attention of everyone in the room to the blond vampire who had spoken, finally raising his eyes from the floor to give the redheaded witch a piercing glare. Willow stared back at him, stunned by his accusation, too shocked to respond as he went on.

"She was a hero...you should have let her stay that way. What she is now...you've turned her into...into a bloody monster."

"Look, this is *not* my fault!" Willow insisted, tears streaking her face. "I'm as much for stopping Buffy as you are, Tara; we can't let her stay this way, I know that; but...we don't even know for sure if that's what happened! This is all...all guess work!"

"No, Willow," Tara said softly. "It's very obvious. You just don't want to see it."

There was a long, tense moment of silence, before Angel spoke up again in a carefully calm voice.

"You guys need to come into my office. After what you saw...well, Wes has been doing some research, trying to figure out for sure what went wrong with Buffy, and it might help him to talk to you guys, find out exactly what you just saw. And maybe...maybe hear about the...the resurrection spell you guys did."

As the rather subdued Scoobies followed Angel reluctantly toward his office, Tara drew in a deep shaky breath as she turned toward Spike. She took a step closer to him...and then faltered slightly, stumbling. He moved forward quickly and caught her in his arms, a concerned frown creasing his brow, his own discomfort immediately forgotten in the face of her weakness.

"Tara?"

"I'm okay," she insisted, forcing a smile though she was clutching his arms for support, and her forehead had broken out in a cold sweat. "I'm okay, I'm just...just tired..."

"Was it the magic?" Spike asked, a faint smile beginning at the corners of his mouth, in spite of his worry for her, as he added, "‘Cause those were some right impressive fireworks, love. Hate to be the one they were aimed at, m'self."

Tara returned his smile, beginning to feel her strength returning slightly. "Never happen," she assured him warmly, before giving a little half-shrug and admitting, "I guess it took a little bit out of me. Anya was right, I didn't even really mean to...but I guess I'm just not as powerful as Willow is yet. And...and maybe I don't really want to ever get there, but...but I'm glad she's on our side now."

Spike's smile faded as he searched her eyes anxiously, and asked simply, "Is she?"

Tara's troubled grey eyes followed the little group just disappearing into Angel's office, before meeting Spike's questioning gaze again. "I hope so."

She frowned when Spike looked down again, swallowing hard as his eyes focused on the floor at her feet. "Me, too," he whispered. "Uh...we should check on the Bit. See if she's..."

"She's sleeping," Tara assured him, a bit distractedly, far more focused on his state of mind than on Dawn at the moment. "It's late, Spike, and she's exhausted. She's been sleeping a lot these past few days. It's a...a defense mechanism."

"Yeah," Spike nodded, still refusing to look at her, a bitter smile twisting his lips as he added, "For some."

"Hey," Tara spoke in a soothing tone, raising a gentle hand to cup his cheek, silently encouraging him to look at her. "What is it, Spike? What's wrong?"

"I just...I..." Spike shook his head, apparently unable - or unwilling - to find the words to answer. Finally he managed to get out in a whisper, "I just think...he had a point, yeah? The whelp. Not that it makes me like him any more, or agree with him exactly, it's just...I did all that, once upon a time...like he said. She's got to be stopped; she's power-mad. Who knows who she'll hurt next? It's just...maybe he's right. Maybe I do...do deserve..."

"*No*," Tara cut him off, anger rising in her voice, though she wasn't exactly sure just with whom she was angry. "No, Spike, don't even say that! I don't care what you've done...who you were...you could *never* have done enough to deserve what she did to you, do you understand me?"

Spike nodded half-heartedly, but Tara got the impression that it was simply because he knew it was the response she wanted. She knew that no words she could say in that moment would serve to better convince him of his own worth; so she would have to settle for showing him what he was worth to *her*.

"Come here," she whispered huskily, her hand sliding around to cup the back of his neck, pulling him in for a slow, thorough kiss.

He tensed for just a moment, betraying months of savage conditioning, before yielding tentatively to her kiss....and then, finally, responding to it, his own hands rising to cup her face, steadying her as his head tilted slightly, his mouth hungrily searching hers for the affirmation, the assurance, he craved.

When she finally pulled away, resting her forehead against his, they were both breathless. Her hand played gently through his hair as she opened her eyes, searching his face with concern in her hazy eyes.

"You okay?" she whispered.

He nodded, his own eyes still closed, breathing hard. "Yeah," he whispered back. "Just...just so...so bloody *tired*, love...so tired..."

"Of course you are." Tara pulled away slowly, her expression solemn as she glanced again toward Angel's office. "Well, then, we need to do something about those dreams of yours, don't we?"

*********************************

As Tara quietly opened Angel's door and slipped into his office, she caught the last piece of Wesley's calm explanation of what they had so far.

"...only a partial translation of the text so far, but this ritual is only a means of breaking the hold she has over Spike, not a means of stopping her for good. However, once we break the bond, as long as the sanctuary spell is in place, we all should be reasonably safe here until we can find a way to stop her permanently."

Xander let out a slow, shaky breath. "Okay, that sounds pretty ugly."

"We don't want to kill her," Willow reminded the former Watcher.

"Unless we have to," Angel amended warningly. "And we might."

"See, I don't think we should be wasting time worrying about breaking this bond or whatever when we should be focusing on finding a way to...to fix her, you know?" Xander argued. "What difference does it make as long as the only person she's hurting is a vampire? Let's focus our attention on other things, until we can..."

"I can translate this!"

Wesley looked up with pleased interest at the former vengeance demon, whose gaze was focused intently on the text he had pointed out a few minutes earlier. "Can you? You are proficient in demon languages?"

"Languages, lifestyles, and everything in between," Anya affirmed with a nod, without looking up. "Give me...a couple of hours, and I can have this in English for you."

Tara's heart leapt with joy within her...but her pleasure was soured by Xander's objection.

"Ahn, Honey, we have other things to worry about right now besides whether the Bleached Wonder sleeps well or not..."

"Can you shut him up?" Angel muttered under his breath as he came to stand beside Anya, looking down at the book she was studying.

"Not so far," Anya replied with a bright smile.

"Okay, so...while she's working on the translation...I need some help with a more...immediate solution, okay?" Tara spoke up, unable to keep a trace of her impatience out of her voice. "Wesley, and Willow? Would you mind helping me with a spell?"