White Magic

"Hurry up. Let's get her downstairs; I'm not sure how long that spell will hold."

Angel turned wide eyes on Willow, aghast, as he stumbled after Wesley and Xander, who were carrying the still form of the Slayer between them, one on either side. Buffy's eyes were blank and empty, her arms serenely down at her sides, her legs straight and still side by side.

Under the influence of Willow's spell, it seemed...Buffy was pose-able.

"What do you mean you don't know how long it'll hold?" Angel demanded, a bit breathlessly as he struggled to recover from the numerous blows he had taken during his fight with the Slayer. His face was beginning to bruise, and as he spoke he raised a hand to wipe away the blood from his split lip. "I thought you said until you took it down, she was stuck like that!"

"Until I take it down...or until she fights her way through it," Willow amended with an apologetic little grimace.

"I thought you were supposed to be some super-powerful witch."

"Yeah, and she's a Slayer," Willow countered, more than a little defensively. "I wasn't taking into account the fact that she's a little more than human herself. I mean...a normal human couldn't fight through that binding spell, no matter how hard they tried, but...but Buffy..." Willow shook her head as her eyes came to rest on her friend, just as the others maneuvered her carefully through the basement doorway. "I can feel her fighting it right now...trying to get free."

Angel frowned, worry in his eyes. "Is she having any success?"

"Not yet," Willow assured him, shaking her head. "Not even close. I mean...it would take her a while to get through it, but...but we'd better hurry and get her secured by non-magical means, before she does."

Angel followed Willow's troubled gaze grimly, remembering months past when he had been bound and caged himself in the basement of the Hyperion. "Not a problem."

***********************************

"She's all locked up in the basement," Dawn announced as she entered the upstairs bedroom where she had left Spike just a few minutes earlier, seeking an update from the others on the physical status of her sister. "With like, iron chains and in this great big cage - and I don't even wanna know why they have that stuff in the basement - but you know...she's not going anywhere. Willow and Tara are doing a spell, to see if they can figure out what's wrong with..."

Her voice trailed off weakly as she studied the weary, tear-streaked face of her best friend, who was sitting in a chair by the window, staring out through the open curtains into the inky midnight blackness. He did not turn, did not show any sign of comprehension as she spoke...but Dawn knew that he had heard and understood every word.

Cautiously she crossed the room to his side, reaching out a gentle hand to rest on his shoulder, and still he did not respond for a long moment. Finally, however, he reached a cool, trembling hand up to close around hers, drawing in a deep, shaky breath as his eyes remained fixed on the darkness outside the window.

"What am I going to do, Bit?" he asked in a hoarse, weary voice, squeezing her hand weakly before releasing it to run his unsteady fingers nervously through his hair.

"What...what do you mean?" Dawn asked, her words slow and cautious as she moved around to partially face him, kneeling in front of him and resting her crossed arms across his knees in a casual, familiar way that she had done many times before, in an effort to meet his averted gaze. "We've won, Spike. I mean, at least...whatever's wrong with her, even if we can't fix it...she can't hurt you anymore."

Spike looked away from the window at last, but his haunted eyes were focused on her arms rather than her face, as he shook his head, at a loss to put his dilemma into words. "I...I just..." He looked up, rolling his eyes at his own weakness as he blinked back tears, then finally met her gaze hopelessly.

"It's too late," he whispered. "The...the damage is done, yeah? Can't just go back and say, ‘All right then, ‘s over now so let's just pretend it didn't bloody happen, now, can we?"

Dawn frowned. "Of course not, but..."

"I'll never be what she needs." Spike's desolate words were so soft that Dawn almost didn't hear them, but when she realized what he had said, she went very still, her eyes widening with shock, and her heart aching at the understanding of how thoroughly devastated her friend was by what her sister had done. "I can't...can't fix this, Bit. Can't...be what Tara wants me to be."

"Spike...it's not about what she wants, for her. You know that, right? I mean...she just wants to help you," Dawn argued awkwardly, still unclear as to what had happened between her two friends to cause their obvious rift. "She...she *loves* you."

Tears slipped down the broken vampire's cheeks as his eyes focused on his lap and he shook his head sadly. A single whispered word from his trembling lips broke Dawn's heart for him afresh.

"*Why*?"

Dawn's throat felt dry, her heart dropping down to somewhere around her stomach, before she managed to regain her composure enough to ask in a low voice, hoarse and trembling with her own repressed tears, "What is that supposed to mean? Why *wouldn't* she love you, Spike?"

Spike opened his mouth to respond, though he seemed at a loss for words to express his shame, his sense of utter worthlessness.

But then again...no words were really necessary.

"Spike," Dawn went on before he could speak, "Look at me. Listen to me, okay? Tara's great, I know. She's amazing." She paused, drawing in a deep breath before continuing, "But she is damn lucky to *ever* have a guy like you!"

Spike looked up at her sharply, his eyes widening both at her mild curse word, unusual coming from Dawn's lips, and the statement she made, which was even more bewildering to him.

Dawn faltered slightly, her gaze lowering nervously for a moment while she summoned every ounce of nerve she possessed, her heart pounding and her mind racing as she tried to decide whether or not to reveal feelings she had hidden away within her heart for years. She knew there was a good chance that confessing those feelings could alter her precious friendship with the vampire, but she also knew there was a good chance that Spike needed to hear them.

And in this moment, what Spike needed had to come before her own pride.

"You're...you're incredible, Spike." Dawn went on with the halting, reluctant tone of a confession. "You're...you're like my hero, you know? I mean...I can't even count how many times you've saved my life. You took torture for me. And...and that's not even...I mean...okay, I'm stalling. That's all just extra stuff. The reasons why you're so incredible don't even have anything to do with those things. You just...you just are, okay?"

Spike stared at her, a slight frown of confusion creasing his brow.

The expression did nothing to alleviate Dawn's nerves.

"There's no reason in the world why Tara wouldn't love you," she repeated, her eyes downcast once more. Hesitantly, she raised them to his, adding softly, "I...*I* love you. Just because of...of who you are, you know? The incredible person that you are. You're just so...so brave, and smart, and cool, and just...just amazing, and...and I know I'm making a total loser of myself by telling you this and you'll probably get all awkward and weird around me and stuff now, and..."

"Bit." Spike's whispering voice broke into her nervous rambling, and Dawn grimaced slightly as she looked up at him, clearly expecting a rebuff. "I...I'm honored, yeah? For you to feel that way. But..."

"I know." Dawn's voice was soft, certain and understanding as she gave him a sad smile. "I know that it's not anything that could ever happen. I mean...you'll never think of me as anything but your little Niblet, even when I'm like fifty. And...and that's okay." The look in her eyes told Spike that she really meant the words she was saying, despite the feelings for him she had just confessed.

"I...I *like* being your little Niblet." Dawn's voice was slightly shy as she went on, lowering her gaze once more. "And...and that's really not the point, anyway. The point is...well..." When she looked up again, her smile had faded into a serious expression, as she continued in a slow, certain voice which left no room for argument.

"The point is...if you'd even look at me twice like that, well...there's not much I wouldn't do. And believe it or not, Tara feels the same way. And it's because you *deserve* it, Spike...because you're worth that much. Don't you get that?"

Spike just stared at her blankly for a long moment, before shaking his head and whispering bleakly, "No."

Dawn's face fell with disappointment, and she was quiet for a moment before reminding him softly, "You used to."

"That was...before. Before she..." Spike's voice trailed off, and he looked away toward the window again, suddenly uncomfortable as he remembered that his abuser, the one who had so thoroughly broken him, was none other than this girl's beloved older sister. "Anyway, I'm...I'm not the same man, Bit. Not anymore." He was quiet before muttering under his breath, "'S no wonder she can't stand to be near me."

Dawn's eyes widened as she began to put the pieces together, and realized to some degree what had happened between her friends. "That's not true, Spike," she argued gently, reaching up a hand to turn his face back toward her, though he refused to meet her eyes. "Tara loves you..."

"Tara pities me!" Spike retorted, an angry tremor in his voice, though it was not entirely clear with whom he was angry. "That's all, Bit - nothing more."

"That's stupid!" Dawn declared hotly, rising to her feet in indignation. "Spike, if she's been keeping her distance a little, it's probably just to give you some space - to give you the chance to stand up for yourself, you know?"

Spike shook his head, his eyes lowered to the windowsill in despair. "That's just it, in'nit? I can't," he insisted. "I just can't..."

"And you never will again if you just keep hiding behind..."

Her words broke off abruptly at the sound of a cautious knock on the bedroom door. Both glanced toward it without speaking, uncertain as to whether or not they wanted to invite the person in and interrupt their conversation.

"It's Tara," the witch announced softly from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?"

Dawn gave Spike a pointed look before turning and stalking toward the door, opening it with a wide flourish to give Tara a broad, only slightly false smile. "Of course, Tara," she replied. "Come on in. I was just leaving..."

"Dawnie, you don't have to..."

But Dawn was already halfway down the stairs, leaving the witch and the vampire alone in a terribly awkward silence.

After a long moment, Tara hesitantly looked at Spike, a silent question in her eyes as she spoke softly. "Hey."

"Hey," Spike echoed flatly, not looking at her.

Tara studied the expression on his face as she cautiously approached him, stopping a few feet away from him to give him his distance. She was relieved to see that there did not appear to be any real injuries from the Slayer's assault...at least on the outside.

Finally she asked, "Are you still mad at me?"

Spike closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh before opening them again, focused once more on the windowsill. "I'm not mad at you, love...couldn't be, all right? It's not that, it's just...you don't have to pretend anymore, yeah? You can just...just say what you really mean, because I've already got it soddin' figured out."

Tara raised a single eyebrow, taking in his words. "You do?"

Spike nodded without looking at her, his mouth set in a grim line as he resolved not to let his emotions, his vulnerability, show through the mask of calm he was attempting to hold in place. "You need a bit of distance, love, I'll understand. Haven't got to make excuses and make like it's for my own good. Just...just tell me if you don't want me...hiding behind you anymore, Tara..."

As he spoke, Tara made her way slowly the rest of the distance between them, until she had reached him, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. At the unexpected tender touch of compassion, Spike's voice broke, and his shoulders shook with the emotions he was struggling to hold back. He turned his head away, gasping back a sob as he struggled to keep from giving in to the weakness that he knew was driving her away from him.

Tara crouched behind him, bringing herself to eye level with him, as her hand on his shoulder gently pulled him around to face her. His eyes were downcast, but he reluctantly allowed himself to be moved.

"Hey," Tara softly tried to get his attention, and he hesitantly looked up to meet her gaze with sparkling blue eyes, desperate and full of sorrow. "You've got it all wrong, Sweetheart."

He just looked up at her expectantly, one hand rising to grasp hers on his shoulder, holding it tight as if afraid that she might bolt at any moment and leave him alone.

"I want to be behind *you*, Spike," Tara whispered, showing no signs whatsoever of leaving as her free hand rose to tenderly brush a tear from his cheek. "Supporting you. Helping you. But...but not holding you back, never. Does that make sense?"

Spike nodded uncertainly, swallowing back a sob as Tara edged nearer, wrapping one arm around him and gently guiding his head onto her shoulder.

"I never meant for that to happen downstairs," she assured him, her voice full of anguished regret. "I didn't know she could hurt you. We guess she figured out a way to break the sanctuary spell, because Angel didn't break it. I...I thought you were safe or I would never have...never have just left you to..." Tara's voice broke, and she lowered her head, fighting back her own tears.

Spike raised his head, searching her tearful eyes with wonder in his own at the emotion she clearly felt...for *him*. "I...I don't want to be in your way, love," he whispered, his voice hoarse and humble.

"Never," Tara assured him, shaking her head as her hand rose to run through his hair in a gesture of protective affection. She pulled back slightly, waiting until she had caught his gaze, locking onto it with her own, to go on, her voice quiet and intent and trembling with the weight of her emotion. "I *love* you, Spike. I *want* you with me. You could never be in my way."

Simple words...but just the words Spike needed to hear, the refutation of the hurtful echoes that had filled his mind, the voices insisting that the opposite was true.

"I'm here for you, Spike," Tara continued, unaware of the epiphany the vampire was experiencing. "I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to make you feel...abandoned, or rejected. I just want you to be able to be strong, but...but as long as you need me to help you do that...I'll be here, Sweetheart. Okay? I promise..."

Whatever else Tara might have said was abruptly swallowed up in an intense kiss, full of gratitude and love and relief and passion, as Spike leaned forward toward her, grasping her arms and pulling her closer as his lips suddenly covered hers, thirstily drinking in the love she offered him, as if he could further convince himself with the gesture - as if he could taste the truth in her mouth.

And as Tara responded, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close to her, returning his kiss tenderly, intently...he could.

Tara loved him.

She loved him...and as long as he knew that, Spike knew that there was nothing he could not face.