White Magic

"Giles. Wh-what...what are you doing here?"

The Slayer's eyes were wide, stunned, a trapped expression of guilt on her face as she took an involuntary step backward, away from her Watcher standing at the foot of the stairs. She shook her head in dismay, unable to accept the fact that her darkest behavior had been exposed to the one ally she might have had left.

"Angel called me," Giles replied, his voice soft and calm, his expression inscrutable. "He told me there was something wrong...but I had no idea how very wrong it was. Not until I saw it for myself."

"Giles," Buffy protested, waving a dismissive hand in his direction, "it's just *Spike*. I haven't hurt anyone...not really. This whole thing has just been blown out of proportion..."

"This isn't about ‘just Spike'," Giles countered, a trace of anger beginning to show through his careful composure. "I heard the threats you made just now, against Tara, and against your own sister...and every word you said was both vile and repugnant." He paused, staring at her in barely veiled horror and pain, before adding softly, "How could you possibly have slipped to this level? What possibly could have gotten into you, that you would...?"

"It was all just words!" Buffy insisted, her voice rising, trembling with an edge of panic. "I wasn't ever going to *do* anything...I was just trying to...to scare him into taking back this ridiculous lie he's told everybody about me! I never did anything to him! He just made the whole thing up, and I just wanted to convince him to tell the truth!"

"I *heard* it, Buffy!" Giles snapped, his patience failing him with her continued lies. "From your own lips! You were talking about the horrific things you've done to him, using them to torment him again." He fell silent for a moment, visibly struggling to reign in his temper, before adding in a quiet, terse voice, "I didn't want to believe it. Tara and Spike told me, but I didn't want to think you were capable of such atrocity. That's why I...I had to see it, with my own eyes...hear it for myself."

"He's *lying*!" Buffy nearly screamed, her temper getting the better of her as she rushed the bars, the chain dangling from her wrist clattering noisily against them. "How can you believe him over me? After everything we've been through...everything I've *done* for you? How could you ever believe him over me? He's a *vampire*, Giles! If I'd *killed* him, I'd just be doing my duty! And yet you're taking *his* side?"

"I wouldn't be...if you hadn't shown him to be telling the truth."

Buffy was silent, having no response for the simple truth. She had given herself away with her own actions, and there was no way to take it back now. She stared sullenly at her Watcher for a long moment, a challenge in her blazing emerald eyes. Then, slowly, a cruel smirk spread across her face, the tension in her expression fading away as she let out a low, malicious laugh.

"Fine," she sneered quietly. "You caught me. I've been a really bad girl. So what are you gonna do to me? Ground me? Give me a spanking?" She paused, her eyes narrowing in a calculating expression as she suggested, "Slay me?" The horrified expression in Giles' eyes was clearly gratifying to her, as her smile widened in satisfaction. "I'm still the Slayer...the *original* Slayer. I've come back from the dead. Twice. I've taken on a hellgod and won. As that pathetic excuse for a vampire just found out...I *never* lose."

Giles' face fell with a sort of muted grief as he listened to her defiant speech. When she was finished, he waited a moment before he softly countered, "You just did."

****************************************

"Careful...help me lay him...there we go..."

Tara anxiously hovered as Angel and Gunn gently laid the unconscious vampire down on his bed. Tara had refused to let go of Spike, insisting on helping Angel get him as far as the lobby; but once they reached the lobby and realized that there were no furnishings there that were at all appropriate, she had allowed Gunn to take over, acknowledging that her physical strength was fading with the effort of supporting Spike's considerable weight.

As she stood there, catching her breath, Tara allowed her guilty thoughts to wash over her.

She wasn't supposed to be able to touch him...she was supposed to be chained up...he was supposed to be safe...how could I let her get her hands on him again, after I promised him she'd never touch him again?

She hesitated at the base of the stairs, fighting back tears, her heart sinking with dread at the thought of facing her lover, of seeing the hurt and betrayal in his eyes. She could not help but wonder about what sort of terrible effects the events of the past half hour might have on Spike's fragile, barely healing psyche...and their newly fledged relationship.

He was only just beginning to trust again...and now, after we let this happen...after *I* let this happen... She could have killed him. I promised him he'd be safe, and she almost killed him...

Her heart pounded with adrenaline born of a mixture of fear and relief, as she hurried up the stairs to catch up with Angel and Gunn. She waited until they had set him down on the bed, then sat on the edge of the bed beside Spike, who was already beginning to stir. She raised an eyebrow in Angel's direction, glancing between him and Spike.

"Maybe you'd better check those tranquilizer darts," she suggested flatly. "They don't seem to work very well."

"I used a smaller dosage," Angel explained a bit defensively. "I knew I was gonna be aiming for Spike, so..."

"You *knew*...?" Tara's eyes widened in stunned disbelief, and the tone of her voice was not without accusation. "You...how could you...I thought you brought it down there to subdue Buffy..." Her voice trailed off and she shook her head, bewildered. "I...I don't understand..."

"You...you didn't know?" Angel seemed genuinely confused, as Tara searched his dark, questioning gaze. When she shook her head in denial, the vampire continued, his voice hushed and gentle. "Spike planned this, Tara. All of it..."

"I know, but...but he couldn't have guessed...couldn't possibly have known that she would..."

"He planned *all* of it," Angel reiterated, holding her gaze and nodding slowly to be sure she understood. "And it *all* went according to plan."

***************************************

"What are you talking about, I just lost?" Buffy sneered, incredulous. "Did you see the look on his face? He was terrified! He might think he's all big and brave, coming down here to face the monster that beat him the last time...except all he accomplished was to get beat again!"

"All he accomplished was exactly what he set out to accomplish," Giles corrected, a faint glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes despite the pain of the situation. "He set out to prove to me that his story was true. And unfortunately...he did." He hesitated a moment, before continuing quietly, regret and anguish in his voice. "I...I don't understand, Buffy. What made you want to do those things to Spike? What caused you to turn your back on everything you were...everyone you loved?"

"Go ask Angel," she retorted, disgust in her voice. "We already had this conversation."

"You are the greatest Slayer there has ever been, Buffy," Giles reminded her, his expression solemn and earnest. "You accomplished things no other Slayer ever has...lived longer than any other Slayer on record...and for it to all come to this end...to see you...*destroy* the potential you had..." He shook his head, his voice trailing off as he shook his head, blinking back tears.

"What potential?" Buffy spat the words back at him, anger rising in her voice, her eyes blazing with accusing rage. "I was *dead*! And they brought me back! My *potential* should have been over years ago!"

"That's what this is about, then? You wished them to leave you in peace?"

Buffy did not respond, turning her back abruptly on her Watcher and pacing to the far side of the cage.

"I can understand that, Buffy. I could even understand if you chose to exact some form of vengeance on those responsible for your resurrection. But...but Spike...and Dawn...the only two among them who had nothing to do with the matter...what purpose could you possibly have in harming them? Why would you do it?"

Buffy remained turned away from him for a few moments longer, before she slowly turned to face him...and the cold smile on her pretty lips sent a chill down the Watcher's spine.

"Why?" she echoed. "That's an interesting question...and one that everybody keeps asking me." She shrugged slightly as she explained, "It's simple, really. Someone told me something a long time ago...something about how a Slayer's life could be. You see...I'm the one you all depend on. I've saved all of your pathetic lives so many times...and it's because *I'm* the one with the power."

Giles felt his heart drop with a cold sense of horror at the inhuman glitter of malicious pleasure in Buffy's eyes, as she echoed words she had repeated to him once before, a long time ago...though the first time she had recounted them, her voice had been one of disapproval and confusion. Now, she seemed to have not only accepted the words, but made them her own motto.

" ‘Want...take...have...' That's what Faith told me, way back then...and she was right."

"No." Giles shook his head sadly. "She wasn't. You should have learned that by watching what happened to her, Buffy. If she'd have submitted to her calling...her duty..."

"But I *did*, Giles." Buffy's voice was soft, her eyes angry and accusing. "I did my duty...more than my duty. I should have been at peace long ago. I shouldn't even be here now. I should be enjoying the reward for my long years of risking my life protecting innocents. But I'm not. That was stolen from me. So the way I see it..." She shrugged. "...I'm on my own time now. I can do whatever I want...*whoever* I want...and I will..."

"Buffy..." Giles' voice was heavy with sorrow, trembling with unshed tears. "...my dear girl...how can I help you? How can I bring you back from the brink of this madness?"

"You really don't get it, do you?" the Slayer sneered, no trace of sympathy in her cold eyes for the man who loved her like a daughter. "It's too late. No one can help me...and I don't want to be helped." She glanced up the stairs, her arms crossed over her chest as she added in a derisive, taunting tone of voice, "You ought to see about helping that pathetic excuse for a vampire upstairs. He's gonna need a couple hundred hours of therapy after our last encounter...which *won't* be our last encounter, I can promise you that!"

Giles considered for a moment, his expression carefully calm as he composed himself, then allowed a slight, ironic smile to play about the corners of his mouth. Still, no trace of humor reached his solemn eyes as he argued, "No, Buffy...I really don't think he will."

The Slayer raised a single perfectly shaped brow in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? You *did* see him, didn't you? He was a wreck! It's really sad, actually. He keeps coming down here, thinking he's going to somehow find the strength to face his fears..." She put an exaggerated note of drama into her voice as she went on, "...and all he accomplishes is to prove to himself again that he'll *never* get over me. In one way or another, as long as he lives...he's gonna be under my control. I can play him like no one else can, Giles...and he knows it."

"I see..." Giles' voice was mild as he removed his glasses, wiping them methodically before returning them to his face and meeting Buffy's eyes appraisingly. "And how well can he play you?"

Buffy's eyes narrowed, her gleeful smile fading away. "What are you talking about? He can't..."

"He just did."

"You're out of your mind," Buffy protested, her voice trembling with defensive anger. "I got him right where I wanted him in two seconds flat. I talked him right into my hands, and would have killed him right there if Angel hadn't interfered."

"Would you have? Then why didn't you?" Giles demanded calmly. When she did not respond immediately, he suggested, "Perhaps because you were not as much in control of the situation as you perceived yourself to be."

"I'm perfectly. In. Control." Buffy bit off the words, visibly struggling to rein in her anger as her white knuckles clutched the bars of her cage.

"Perhaps now," Giles conceded. "But then...Spike was the one in control. He arranged the whole scenario, Buffy. From the moment he set foot in this basement, he knew what to say to get the reaction he needed from you..."

"You're crazy! I know him better than he knows himself! I knew just what to say to get him to come closer to me...to get him to..."

"He *wanted* you to get your hands on him," Giles snapped, losing patience with her arrogance. "He planned it so that I would see for myself what you've become. Every step he took nearer to you was a step he had *planned* to take. He knew exactly where he would be and when you would grab him...and despite his own fears he not only went through with such a dangerous plan but *composed* it to begin with!"

As Buffy stared at him, incredulous, shaking her head slowly in bewildered disbelief, Giles continued, his voice calm once more. "Perhaps while you were getting to know him...‘better than he knows himself'...you ought to have taken care for how well he was getting to know you as well."

Without another word, Giles turned and headed up the stairs.

"Wait! Giles!" Buffy screamed, enraged by his words, and the possibility that they might be true. "Wait! I'm not finished!"

When he did not respond, the Slayer shook the bars of her cage, letting out an animalistic snarl of fury and frustration as she shouted threats up the stairs at her Watcher, and the others waiting for him at the top of the stairs.

"You tricked me! I thought you were my friends...I thought you loved me, but you *lied* to me and you tricked me! Dawnie? Spike? *Spike*! I'll kill you, you...you traitors! I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!"

**********************************

Spike moaned softly, one shaky hand flying up to his bleeding neck as his brow furrowed in pain and remembered fear. He was hovering between sleep and wakefulness, while Tara waited patiently beside him for the tranquilizer to wear off completely. Angel and Gunn had left her alone with him.

She raised a gentle hand to brush his brow, her other hand reaching out to clasp his as he began to awaken. "Shhh...it's all right," she reassured him. "It's over...you're safe now."

The sound of her voice seemed to galvanize the vampire to action. His eyes opened wide and he stared up at her, looking a bit lost, gasping for breath as his free hand clutched at his injured throat, almost as if still feeling the biting chain that had cut off his breath.

"It's okay," Tara reminded him, her hand at his brow shifting backward to tilt his head up so that he could meet her eyes. She held his gaze, trying to ground him, as she assured him, "It's over...you can breathe, Spike...it's all right."

Spike stared up at her, his breathing gradually evening out, and finally he lowered his trembling hand back to the bed, steadying himself as he sat up, then reaching out to clutch her other hand as well.

"Buffy?" he asked, still sounding a bit breathless.

"Still in her cage," Tara confirmed with a nod. "Alive," she added as an afterthought. "Unfortunately."

"Anybody...anybody hurt?"

Tara raised an eyebrow at him in a slight accusation. "Besides you? No."

"And...and the Watcher?" Spike's voice became low, and he glanced away from her uncertainly, though he no longer seemed afraid. "He...he heard it...saw it all?"

"He did." Tara swallowed hard, drawing in a deep breath, trying to decide what she wanted to say. "Spike..." she began at last.

"I know," the vampire cut her off in a soft, subdued voice, though Tara noticed a quiet strength behind his words that had been long buried by the trauma of the abuse he had endured. "It was bloody stupid of me to let her get that close. Soddin' ignorant to take that kind of risk. I know it was. I just...just didn't know if he'd believe it if he didn't...see it for himself, yeah? I just wanted to...to be sure..."

"Spike..."

"I had to make him see, so he'd help us...'cause he might be the only one capable of gettin' through to her, if anyone can, and I know it was a chance, but I had to take it, love. I just..."

"*Spike*."

The vampire finally stopped, looking up at her apprehensively, though Tara noted with pride that there was no apology in his eyes. She gave him an encouraging, approving smile as she raised a hand to his cheek, her smile widening when the gesture was met without even the slightest hint of a flinch. Spike raised his own hand to cover hers, his brow creasing in a silent question as he waited for her to go on.

"That was...the most amazingly brave...courageous thing...I've ever seen anyone do."

His eyes widened with wonder at Tara's words, and he shook his head slightly in automatic denial.

"No, Spike...really. You didn't have to take it that far...didn't have to let her touch you again...but you did. You were willing to take that chance...and you were absolutely amazing."

Spike's wide, bewildered eyes followed hers downward, focusing on her full, slightly parted lips as she leaned in to brush against his in a tender kiss. It only took him an instant to respond, his hands reaching up to take her arms and pull her in closer to him, his mouth searching hers, first tentatively, then more intently as they gave themselves over to each other. After a moment, Tara drew back for breath, her eyes shining with pride and desire as she whispered a breathless endearment before leaning in for more.

"My hero..."