Title:   A Past Not Forgotten

Author:   angelspike69 & anamcara420

Rating:   NC17

Pairing:   Angel/Spike

Summary:   It's been 25 years since the events in the alley.  Who survived?

Spoilers:   There will be some slight spoilers from Not Fade Away, and then it goes totally AU as the screen went black.

Warnings:   M/M sex – if this isn't your cup of tea, then don't read.

Disclaimer:   Joss created the characters.  We're just playing with boys, and having lots of fun.

Distribution:   My Perfect Rhyme (http://www.myperfectrhyme.com).  If you'd like to archive it, please ask.

Authors' Note #1:   Thanks to dragonydreams for answering our request for a beta.  You are fantastic.

Authors' Note #2:   The flashback sequences in this chapter were written with the help of Buffy World - http://www.buffyworld.com.

Feedback:   AngelSpike69 (marinersgal69@msn.com) & Anamcara420 (anamcara@excite.com)

 

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Chapter 19

Angel stood suddenly and walked to the door.

"Angel?"

The vampire turned and spoke quietly.  "I'll be in the other room getting ready for bed.  You take my room and I'll sleep on the couch.  You need your rest."  He smiled tenderly at Spike lounging in the warm water and silky bubbles.  "Call out if you need anything."  Then he was gone, closing the door and leaving Spike alone in the steam fogged room.

"I need you."  Spike whispered, his eyes sadly riveted on the closed door.

As he shut the door behind him, Angel sagged against it, his eyes closed as he tried to will away the painful hardness in his groin, to no avail.  Sighing, he went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of silk lounging pants.  He removed his trousers and tossed them into the hamper next to his dresser.  He stood there, firmly rooted, his erotic thoughts battling with concern for the injured human body that Spike inhabited and the uncertainty of when and if Will would return.  God! I want him...I've wanted him for so long...but is he here permanently?  Do I have the right?  Do I dare take what I want...for once?  Is Will lost?  Will he return?  Will I lose Spike...again?  How can I bear another loss?

Sighing again, and trying to control his anguished thoughts and emotions, he proceeded to unbutton his shirt slowly.  He knew he should hurry and leave the bedroom before Spike was finished with his bath, but he couldn't...or rather, he really didn't want to.  I want another glimpse of him...his body...

He heard the door slowly open and he turned around.  Spike loomed in the doorway, steam escaping and surrounding him as he stood there with a towel around his waist.  Spike took a step forward.  Angel took a step back.

"Spike..."

Spike walked toward Angel, his captivating blue eyes blazing with determination.  "No.  We're not stopping.  We're gonna continue what we started earlier.  We owe ourselves that.  The sodding Powers owe us that.  I want you and I know you want me.  You're not gonna logic us out of it, Angel."

Spike stopped speaking and stood firmly in front of the larger man, gazing at him with those devastatingly beautiful eyes.  His pale skin was flushed from the heat of the bath and tendrils of hair wreathed his cheeks.  Angel stared at the man who had haunted his dreams for centuries.  He raised his arm and tentatively drew the back of his hand across the sharp planes of Spike's thin face.  His long fingers sifted through his damp curls, brushing them back from his forehead in what was almost a caress.

"I like it like this...your hair.  It's soft and sleek."

When Angel's hand slid gently into his hair, Spike felt tingles down his spine.  He closed his eyes briefly and held his breath as Angel continued to thread his fingers through the still moist locks.  He was hard just with Angel's touch.  When he opened his eyes and realized that Angel was wearing nothing but his silk boxers and his partially unbuttoned shirt, the intimacy of their closeness intensified.  The shirt hung on him like a second skin, curving along the rippled muscles of his chest; the ends hanging just below his groin.

Spike captured the long shirt points with his hands and tugged Angel closer to him.  "One of us is wearing way too many clothes, and it isn't me."

He leered at Angel as one slender hand slipped down between their bodies.  Without looking down, his fingers undid a button.  He drew closer and walked Angel backward.  Their eyes remained focused intently on each other, although by the time they reached the side of the bed, Spike had all of the remaining buttons undone.

When Angel felt the edge of the bed against the back of his knees, he sat down.  Spike leaned forward and placed his palms flat on either side of Angel on the mattress.  He lowered his head and nudged the shirt aside with his nose, then latched on to Angel's nipple, swirling his tongue around the nub.  Angel hissed, grabbed Spike's head and held him where he was.  As Spike bumped against him, Angel slid backwards.  Spike straightened out his legs and laid his body over Angel, gently shoving the larger man's legs apart with his knees.  He pressed himself against Angel with only the half open shirt and the filmy silk boxers between them.

They stared at each other for a moment; brown eyes and blue filled with lust and loving desire.  Without thought, Angel rolled them carefully, grabbing and removing the towel as he turned them so that Spike now lay underneath him, although he leaned heavily on his arms to alleviate some of his weight from the smaller man.  Spike's body arched up towards Angel's and moments later he wrapped his legs around the vampire's waist.

Angel sucked on the flesh at Spike's neck, sending a frisson of feeling scattering across the younger man's shoulders.  He licked slowly across Spike's chin, and kissed his nose, eyes, and cheeks before finally finding his soft, supple lips.  Spike groaned and Angel swept his tongue into his mouth.  Angel knew Spike wanted this; knew that he needed this.  Angel ignored the reasonable part of his mind that began to list all the reasons to stop now.  He needed this; he wanted this.  He had wanted this for twenty-five years.

Spike loved the weight of Angel on top of him; the feel of his hard body against his, and his tongue laving the inside of his mouth, mimicking the natural thrust of his hips.

"Spike, Spike,"  Angel murmured.  "I can't stop," he said as his lips nibbled hungrily at the younger man's voluptuous mouth while his hands roved voraciously over his body.  "I don't want to stop."

"Angel," Spike murmured.  "Love me.  Love me, please."

Relentless as ever, Spike didn't give him a choice.  Not that Angel could make another choice.  His will was gone.  Spike's mouth sought his and when their tongues met, Angel was lost in a fog of sexual pleasure that he had no wish to escape.

Angel kissed Spike back with every fiber of his being.  His heart and soul were filled with such intense longing, that his body thrummed with desire.  He caressed Spike tenderly, barely containing his passion.  He couldn't get enough of him.  His fingers tingled as they explored the soft, warm contours of the body whose gentle, pulsing heartbeat drove him wild.  Angel briefly rested his head on Spike's chest to revel in the quiet ticks as he breathed in the spicy scent of his skin.

He felt Spike's hand slip beneath the collar of his shirt and rest against his neck.  Angel quickly got up on his knees and drew Spike into a sitting position.  Spike pushed the shirt from Angel's broad shoulders and leaned in to lick up his chest as he pulled the boxers down by the hem, releasing the larger man's magnificent cock.  Angel's eyes closed as he enjoyed the caresses of Spike's tongue.  He felt the silky material slide past his hips and shivered slightly as the cool air flowed across his groin.  He opened his eyes and saw the blonde's fevered glance and cheeky grin.  Placing a hand on Spike's shoulder for balance, he lifted one leg and then the other and the flimsy material slipped from his body.  Angel trembled at his gentle, sensuous touch and stared into Spike's passion-filled eyes.  He knew the question he should ask, but was afraid of the answer in spite of Spike's current provocative actions.

When he hesitated, Spike knew the question that Angel was afraid to ask.  As he stared into larger man's dark brown eyes, luminous with lust and love, Spike traced his hands up his powerful thighs.  Wanting to relieve the vampire's obvious doubt, he answered the unspoken questions, "I've never been surer of anything.  I need you, Angel.  I need to feel you inside of me.  It's been too long."

Angel gasped at the desire in Spike's eyes.  "God, Spike.  I...I've...my dreams have been haunted by thoughts of...us...together.  I've never needed someone as much as I need  you."

Spike clasped Angel's hand and drew him down.  "Am I too heavy?  Am I hurting you?"  Angel asked worriedly.  Spike's body was human; far more fragile than a vampire's.

In answer, Spike pressed his body more tightly to Angel's and thrust his tongue deep into his mouth, biting on his lip as he withdrew.  He smirked.  "Got your answer, ponce?  Even this weak assed body is strong when the stakes are high.  Have at it!"

He rose up and drew away from Spike, smiling at the look on the younger man's face as he moved to the end of the bed.  He lay down and began to kiss Spike's feet, as his hand gently kneaded his sack.  Angel sucked on his toes and brushed his tongue up his thin, muscular legs.  He licked and nibbled his thigh and buried his face in the nest of brown wiry curls.  Despite his currently human body, echoes of Spike's unique scent lurked beneath the skin.  Spike was thrashing about and Angel learned something about him that he had forgotten.  Spike was a very vocal lover.

Not that he minded the sighs of pleasure or the groans of agonizing delight or his cries of "do that again," or "more, please, Angel."  He was worried momentarily about waking Faith, but he was enjoying Spike's rapturous pleasure too much and he wasn't about to tell him to be quieter.

When he took Spike's cock into his mouth, the younger man stiffened in surprise and whimpered.  "Angel...oh God...Angel."

Angel had never done this before.  It was always about Angelus' pleasure; his release.  Spike's enjoyment was never the issue.  "Please...Angel...please...I need to feel you...damnit...Angel...fuck me!"

Angel grinned at Spike's demands.  He would have never said this to Angelus.  But, he was concerned.  He didn't want to hurt him.  The last time they had been together was right before he got his soul back.  Spike was a vampire then, and he...Angelus, was a sick, torturing bastard.

Suddenly he stopped his ministrations, his eyes wide.  Spike opened his eyes.  "What's wrong?"

"Spike, I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't.  May not be a vampire any more, but I got all the same parts.  Quit your worrying."  Spike gave him a reassuring smile and, just for good measure, a small thrust upwards so that his hard shaft grazed against Angel's body.  "So reach into the drawer over there."  Spike pointed to the table next to be bed.  "And pull out the bottle I just know you have hidden in there."

Angel threw a shocked look at Spike.  "But...how..."

"Come on Angel.  It's me.  Can't tell me you haven't jerked yourself off in the last twenty-five years.  Come on.  Admit it, ponce."  He grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Angel was speechless, and a bit embarrassed.  But he leaned across Spike, and reached with his long arm to pull out the bottle that was in the drawer.

"So tell me, what images did you conjure up in that brain of yours?"  Spike asked, his full lips smirking as he winked up at Angel.

Embarrassed again, the vampire said nothing.

"Angel, it's me.  Tell me."  Spike's eyes twinkled and he smiled at Angel's embarrassment.

"Um...you...us...what...what could have been, but never was."

Spike's face softened at Angel's quiet words.  Touched by Angel's wistful thoughts, and once again silently cursing them both for their past stubbornness, he sat up and crawled to the middle of the bed where Angel was on his knees.  "Well, it's us now, Angel.  No more fantasies."  He reached up and brushed Angel's lower lip with his thumb.  His blue eyes held Angel's brown ones as his mouth replaced his thumb with unabated hunger.  "Too much talking."  He murmured against Angel's lips and slipped his tongue inside the larger man's mouth.  He slowly savored every inch of the silken interior, exploring, coaxing.

Angel carefully changed his position so that he was no longer on his knees, but was now sitting in the middle of the large bed, his legs stretched in front of him.  Spike crawled on top of him, never breaking his hold on Angel's mouth as he settled onto his lap.  His hands slid to Angel's hips, his fingers tightening as he pulled the larger body against him, pinning the vampire's hardness against his own slender frame.

Spike took the bottle from Angel's grip and popped the lid.  He squeezed it and emptied some of the silky contents into Angel's waiting palm.  He threw the bottle onto the bed, and directed Angel's large hand between their bodies.  He molded the vampire's hand around their cocks.  It was large enough to fit around both of them.  He rested his hand on Angel's and they began a slow, steady stroking motion.  Spike unfurled his legs and wrapped them behind Angel's body until his heels were pressed against Angel's sculpted ass.  His hands ran along Angel's broad shoulders and down his muscled arms.  He gently slipped one of his hands between their bodies and brushed across a nipple, while the other settled on Angel's hip.

Spike broke the kiss, panting harshly.  "Inside Angel...I need to feel you inside of me."

Angel released his hold on their cocks, and reached around Spike's body with a long arm.  Starting at the top, he ran a slippery finger from the top of the crease downward until he found it.  His finger hovered there at the opening, barely touching it, but feeling it quiver in anticipation.  Slowly he pushed the digit in, feeling the resistance lessen and give way to his gentle intrusion.  Spike sighed as he felt the finger enter and tried to get closer to Angel, although their bodies were already meshed tightly together.  He dropped his head down and lightly nipped at Angel's shoulder as the vampire pushed his long finger deeper inside his ass.  He winced a bit, but continued to encourage the vampire in between nips and kisses to the cool skin.

Angel held still for a moment, and then began to pump his slicked finger in and out of Spike's incredibly tight channel.  He added a second finger, pausing as he felt Spike's body tense.  When he felt him relax again, Angel started moving his fingers again, rotating them, and stretching Spike.  Every now and then he'd hit the small, spongy mass hidden there and Spike would moan in ecstasy.

When Angel touched his sweet spot, Spike captured the vampire's lips with his.  He thrust his tongue deeply into Angel's mouth and then leaned back, drawing the larger man with him.  The vampire followed him down willingly, blanketing Spike's body with his own.  His huge hand tenderly caressed Spike's alabaster skin, tracing the hard planes of his lean body.  His mouth found Spike's eyes, his temple, the corner of his mouth, his throat.  Each kiss was feather light, but left a burning brand, his imprint on Spike's heart and soul.

Spike felt Angel's hunger; his desire burning uncontrolled beneath his cool skin.  His body responded to the urgency of the vampire's need.  He moved beneath Angel, arched upward.  His eyes closed tightly, and he moaned aloud as Angel took his nipple into his cool mouth.  His arms encircled Angel's head; held him as every pull of his mouth produced a rush of answering liquid heat from his body.

Angel lifted himself slightly, just enough so that his eyes could caress Spike's body.  He lay naked, his skin flushed with passionate desire, his chest heaving for air.  Angel's hand spanned Spike's flat stomach.  He reached for the bottle that had been tossed carelessly on the bed earlier.  He poured more into his hand.  His slick finger probed Spike's entrance again, finding heat; understanding the need that was just for him.  He could feel hot tears of love and gratitude burning behind his eyes.

His fingers moved deeper, a deliberate enticement.  He felt hot velvet muscles clench around him.  Angel's body was raging for release.

"Are you sure?" There was a catch in his husky voice.  His hand pushed against Spike, his fingers probing, exploring; deliberately feeding the fire spreading through Spike's body.

"Yes."  Spike's tongue stroked over Angel's muscles, a soft caress.  His teeth nipped Angel's skin, teasingly.

Angel's hands explored Spike's thighs; the secret shadows and hollows of his body as he writhed helplessly and emitted breathless, mewling cries from his throat.  Spike's hands found the roped muscles in Angel's broad back, his touch further enflaming the vampire.

Angel memorized every inch of Spike with his gentle fingers.

Angel was doing things to him with his hands, with his touch alone that dragged Spike willingly into a firestorm of salacious hunger impossible to sate.  Spike responded and kissed Angel's chest, swirling his tongue around his stiffening nipple.  Angel's body hardened until he thought he'd go mad.

He forced Spike's legs apart, giving him better access.  He brought each of the smaller man's legs up over his shoulders and pushed against Spike aggressively, needing him desperately.  Spike felt him, hard and thick, insisting on entrance.  Excited in his anticipation, his mouth moved of its own accord over Angel's chest.  His tongue stroked, caressed and sucked at the cool, pale skin.  Angel's hands tightened on Spike's lean hips nearly to the point of pain.  When he felt Spike's bite, his body surged forward uncontrollably to bury itself into the man he had wanted for so long.

Spike cried out with pain and pleasure.  His shout, hoarse and triumphant, mingled with Angel's.  Angel moved, nearly unable to bear the heat as Spike's channel clenched him tightly; so seductively hot and addictive that he wanted to lose himself forever in him.  The fiery friction consumed him until he was riding a crest so high with carnal pleasure that he lost all concept of time and space.  Color danced behind his eyes, vivid and bright.  Their scents, musky and fragrant, mingled, a perfume created from their lovemaking.

Spike's mouth roamed over him, erotic and frantic, matching the wild frenzy of his body.  Angel lost himself in pure feeling, burying himself deeper and harder, wanting to crawl so far inside Spike that their very souls would be entwined, impossible to separate.

Spike clutched desperately at Angel's back, trying to hang on; feeling like he was being swept away for all time.  Angel's hands were hard on his hips, holding him still for his invasion.  It was almost more than he could bear; the untamed animal look of Angel with his eyes changing from brown to gold, and back to brown again.  Angel's face was taut with blissful pleasure.  Spike kneaded his hands down the vampire's broad back and over his ass, tenderly mapping every inch of his massive, beautiful body.

A moan escaped Angel's throat, deep and husky; the sound dredged from the depths of his soul.  He lifted his head, his eyes molten gold, hot and fierce with hunger.  He kissed Spike's eyes, the corners of his mouth, his chin.  Spike felt Angel's mouth hover over his throat, the stroke of his tongue, a caress.  Spike's body clenched and then shuddered in reaction, heightening Angel's pleasure, until he thought he might disintegrate into fiery ash with its passionate heat.

Angel's fangs scraped the sensitive skin on Spike's neck and the smaller man ached and arched into him, pushing against his mouth.

"Do it Angel...please..."  Spike demanded with desperate sexual need as he exposed more of the slender column.  He cried out in pleasure, his throat working convulsively as Angel's fangs pierced his skin.  Angel's arms tightened possessively and his body took Spike's with a ferocious hunger beyond his wildest imagination or memory.

Wave after wave of pleasure swept through Spike, hurling him out of himself and into Angel.  Angel was everywhere he turned, everywhere he touched, inside his body, inside his mind, his very blood was Angel's, until they seemed one being exploding upward into an ethereal realm of quixotic sensual satisfaction.

They lay together, clinging to one another.  Spike's heart pounded as if it would burst from the confines of his fragile chest.  Angel framed Spike's face with his hands, brushed his mouth gently, tenderly, across his forehead, and feathered kisses down Spike's face to his chin.  For the first time in his long, seemingly endless existence, Angel felt truly alive, truly at peace.

Spike stared up at Angel in wonder, refusing to return to the bonds of earth.  Angel was still inside him; his body was wrapped possessively around Angel's.  It seemed impossible that those gentle brown eyes could shine with such intensity, burn with such need, only for him.  A slow smile curved Spike's mouth and lit up his blue eyes to match the glow in Angel's.  They simply stared at each other, lost in love so intense that they could peer into each other's souls.

Spike could feel Angel, thick and hard again, beginning to move, an incredible friction of slick heat, so gentle and tender, he felt as if he were melting; melting into the cold body of the vampire; burning him with his desire.  Angel moved slowly, savoring each long stroke, his eyes devouring Spike's face.  Earlier had been a wild frenzy.  Now Angel wanted to take his time, build their pleasure slowly.

His fingers tangled in Spike's hair.  His mouth tasted his satin skin, finding the pulse beating in his vulnerable throat.  He could see the twin puncture marks he made and was surprised that for once he didn't feel guilty.  He lowered his mouth to the marks and swept his tongue across them, feeling Spike's body tremble as he did so.

<>He lifted his head and stared down at Spike.  He whispered.  "I can't believe you're back; here, with me, after so long."  His hips continued their slow, languorous movement. 

His slow, rhythmic rocking was taking Spike's breath away and fanning the embers of the smoldering fire somewhere in the pit of his stomach.  His body was moving with Angel's, following his guidance without inhibition.  He loved the feel of Angel's hands on his body, the brush of his chin, his mouth, across his nipples.  Angel was stealing his breath with his tenderness.

Spike hands found Angel's hips.  Angel's body surged forward; his large cock burying itself again in the heated depths of Spike's ass.  He began to move with deeper, stronger strokes, picking up the pace until the smoldering embers of their passion were leaping flames.

At the unexpected flash of fire sweeping through Spike's body, he bit his lip, unmindful that he broke the tender skin.  A bright red spot of blood appeared where Spike's teeth had slit his skin and Angel's glittering golden eyes focused there, untamed demonic emotion lurking in their depths.  Just that look sent Spike spiraling over the edge, his body erupting in a mind-shattering explosion.  His breathless cry was lost as Angel's mouth found his, capturing the sound forever.  His tongue swept across his lips, a curling caress that impossibly heightened Spike's pleasure.

Angel's every muscle tensed.  He was motionless for a heartbeat, and then threw back his head and surged forward, burying himself in Spike, his body shattering in reaction; overriding his control.  It felt so right, he thought the ecstatic pleasure would go on forever.  But at his release, the spinning world of incredible passion and emotions lasted not nearly long enough.  Angel desperately wanted to be captured in the moment there for all time, with Spike locked safely in his arms.

They lay together without moving, without speaking, savoring the moment and each other.  Angel was the first to move, reluctantly shifting his weight.  He gathered Spike tightly to him as if he were afraid that the love of his long life would suddenly disappear.  Spike stroked Angel's arm as it wrapped possessively around him.  They kissed again tenderly and lovingly.  Spike pulled the covers up over their bodies and nestled back down within Angel's embrace.

<>Angel watched as Spike fought to keep his eyes open.  He placed a kiss on the tip of his nose.  "Sleep, Spike.  We'll be together tomorrow and always."  He watched as Spike's eyes fluttered closed.  He tightened his hold on the warm body in his arms, letting the beat of Spike's heart lull him to sleep. 

****

A few hours later, Angel was startled awake by a scream of pure terror.  Bolting upright, he saw Spike bound from the bed, a look of confused fright on his pale face as he glanced around the room frantically.  Suddenly his eyes widened in sheer terror when he realized he was naked.  He grabbed the quilt off the bed and hurriedly wrapped it around his naked body.

He glared at Angel, his eyes glittering with furious tears.  "What...how...why..."

Angel scooted across the bed towards Spike, unsure of what was happening.  As Angel got out of bed and moved towards Spike, he jerked and stepped away.

"Don't come near me," he snarled, his lips curled in disgust as his body visibly trembled.

"Spike?"

"Spike!  No! Will...you...what did you do to me?"

"Oh God!  No...please, no!"  Angel moaned in heartbreaking anguish as he fell back onto the bed.

TBC