From: RogueBlue@aol.com
Date: Wed, 15 Nov 1995 12:14:06 -0500
Subject: Confrontations (Starring Rogue, of the X-Men)

Hi everyone!

I've been on this group for awhile, but this is the first of the three
stories I've written that I'm posting (if you like this one, check out the
other two, Destiny's Gift and Gambit's Last Night, at either Hawk's Fan-fic
page or the GFC home page).  Any and all comments are welcome!

Cami
rogueblue@aol.com
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Confrontations
An X-Men Adventure
By:  Cami L. Benham

Disclaimer - This is a work of fan-fiction.  The characters within are
copyright Marvel Comics.  This story is not intended to supersede said
copyrights.

ARCHIVERS - Do NOT archive this story without the author's consent.  The
author may be reached at the address from which it was posted.

Author's Note - This story takes place sometime after X-men #45.

First Encounter

Flying over the Atlantic ocean, Rogue marveled in the sight surrounding her.
 She rarely had the time to stop and see the beauty of the Earth, but she was
seeing plenty of it during her self-imposed vacation.  Superheroes need a
designated vacation time, she thought.  They should sit down with Dr. Doom,
Galactus, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, and every other megalomaniac, and work
out a vacation plan.  After all, she thought, she knew first-hand that even
supervillains needed a day off, too.  Then she laughed as she imagined the
heroes and the villains enjoying the surf and sand of the same beach.

As she spotted the island that was her destination, her mind turned toward
more serious matters.  She was coming at the request of someone whom she
hardly considered a friend, but someone she felt empathy for nonetheless.
 She was about to land on one side of the island when she noticed a flare on
the other side.  That's where he'd be, she thought.

"Greetings, darling,"  St. John Allerdyce, better known to the world as Pyro,
said.  She noted that the Legacy Virus was taking its toll on him, despite
the fact that the owner of the island known as Empryean was taking away some
of the effects by siphoning some of Pyro's mutant ability.

"What's this all about, St. John?"  she asked curiously, "Ya have a deathbed
confession for me?"

He laughed, "Something like that, darling.  Been a long time since I've seen
you.  At least, when we weren't fighting each other."

"That's what happens when we're on opposite sides,"  Rogue said, still
cautious.  She knew that the possibility was good that the rest of the latest
incarnation of the Brotherhood Of Evil Mutants were still with Pyro on the
island.  She was half expecting an ambush when she got here.  But something
in the older man's eyes told her that whatever his reason for bringing her
here, it was sincere.

"I guess it does,"  Pyro said, then, "I know my request was unexpected.  I
don't make apologies for much in life, Rogue.  But I didn't want you to hate
me for the way I treated you when we were both with Mystique."

"Ya didn't treat me all that different than Avalanche or Blob,"  Rogue said,
"Not that the way any of y'all treated me was very nice.  'Cause of y'all, Ah
thought there wasn't such thing as a nice guy til Ah joined the X-Men."

"Only reason we did it was to see if Mystique would do anything,"  Pyro said.

"Why am Ah not surprised?"

"Prob'ly because our group was never the friendliest of groups,"  Pyro
answered, "I always saw it as more business than anything else."

"Now Ah suppose ya're gonna tell me that you regret that?"  Rogue asked.

"On the contrary, darling,"  Pyro said, "That's the difference between you
and me.  You were never right for what we did.  I always had loads of fun,
even while most of us were in the Vault.  Some of us are just made for that
lifestyle.  If I had to do my life over again, I'd hardly change a thing."

"What -would- ya change, St. John?"  Rogue asked, curious.

St. John smiled, but there was more sadness in it than anything.  Rogue
couldn't help but think it was the smile of a dying man who know what little
he was leaving behind.

"Learn from someone who knows the mistakes he's made,"  Pyro said, "When you
find someone who has a chance of making you happy, go for it.  Don't let
anything stop you.  If you do, you'll just be alone in the end.  I know it
sounds morbid, Darlin', but it's the truth."

"I'll take that to heart, St. John,"  Rogue said.

Encounter Two

She saw the island below her, but this time, the island was cloaked in the
air of the British Isles.  It had been awhile since she was here, yet she
could still see the damage done to it from the battle with the Shadow King.
 It seemed like so long ago, but she knew that it was only a matter of
several months.

As she descended, she saw the man who had given her an open invitation to
visit him here.  Unlike with Pyro, his smile was warm and friendly, but then,
she expected nothing less from him.  After all, he wasn't just a former
teammate - he was her brother.  In a manner of speaking, that is.  They never
grew up together, but his birth mother was her foster mother, and before they
knew that, they were close as teammates.

"Hiya Fuzzy!"  Rogue said cheerfully.

"Greetings, Fraulein,"  Kurt Wagner greeted just as cheerfully, "It's good to
see you."

"Same here, Fuzzy,"  she said.  Normally, she'd give him a hug, but she still
hesitated going near anyone.  It didn't matter that she was as fully clothed
as she usually is, or that he was wearing gloves as well.  

"When I had heard you were taking a break from the X-Men," Kurt began as they
began to walk toward the research complex that was home and headquarters of
Kurt's team, Excalibur, "I was concerned.  You haven't quit from the day you
first came to the mansion." 

"Kurt,"  Rogue began, her tone serious, "Have Ah changed at all since that
day?"

"Of course you have,"  Kurt said, "Why do you ask?"

"Sometimes Ah wonder,"  Rogue said.

"Does this have anything to do with what happened with Gambit?"  Kurt asked.

"Leave Remy out of this,"  Rogue said curtly, "That had nothin' to do with
anything.  Well, almost."

"I'm all pointed ears, if you want to talk,"  Kurt said, his tone its usual
lightness, but nonetheless serious.

"Thanks, Kurt,"  Rogue smiled, "Ah could really use someone ta talk ta."  She
paused as they stopped several yards from the entrance to the research
center, sitting down.  "Ah just wonder if mah life is just one big loop. Ah
ain't any more in control of mah power than Ah was the day Ah came to Xavier
for help."

"Rogue, you passionately kissed a man you're in love with,"  Kurt said, "A
man with a less than perfect past.  You must have expected what took place to
happen, even if you thought the world was going to end."

"It ain't just that, Kurt,"  Rogue said, "Ah came to Xavier for help, and he
didn't."

"Are you sure?"  Kurt asked in all seriousness.

"Ah still cain't touch anyone, can Ah?"  Rogue came back.

"If I remember correctly,"  Kurt began, "You came to the X-Men because having
your psyche and the one of Carol Danvers in your mind was driving you crazy,
and because you wanted help in controlling your powers.  You said you
couldn't dare get close to anyone because of your power and because of what
happened with Carol."

"Yeah? What's your point, Fuzzy?  Ah still cain't touch anyone, and it took
an otherworld device to get Carol out of mah mind."

"But think of what you've gained, Rogue,"  Kurt said in all sincerity, "I
recognized the look in your eyes back then - you hated yourself because of
your powers.  You learned to like yourself, and let others care for you.  You
found you could care for others, not just your teammates but everyone around
you.  You, like most of us who wear an "X" on our uniforms, found a place in
a world that does not have one for people like us.  I think that accounts for
a lot."

"Ya really believe that, don't you?"  Rogue stated more than asked.

"I do,"  Kurt answered, "Our lives will never be easy, Rogue.  But that is
part of who we are.  I will always look like this, and chances are you will
always experience some problem with your power.  But it's something we can't
let take control of us.  We must be thankful that there are people who care
about us because of who we are inside."  Kurt paused, then stood up, "Stay
here, I'll be right back."  Then with a "Bamf!" sound and the smell of
brimstone, Kurt used his mutant power to vanish from the scene, returning
less than a minute later the same way.  In his hand, he held a small card,
worn with use.  He handed it to Rogue.

"What's this?"  Rogue asked, then saw what was printed on it.  In
hand-written calligraphy was the word, "Anyfriends."

Kurt sat back down as he explained, "Back when I was a child and in the
circus, I had more than a few moments where I wondered if that was all I
could do with my life, that a freak like me had no other choice.  Jimaine -
Amanda - and I, and our brother, Stefan, were very close, so we decided to
make this pact.  We'd be 'Anyfriends,' there for each other anytime and
anywhere.  I was reminded of the pact recently when Amanda returned to the
island.  We had these cards made up by the woman who designed the circus
programs.  I want you to have it, and feel you can come to me for anything,
no matter what."

Rogue looked at Kurt, feeling tears well up in her eyes and her mouth curve
into a smile, "Thank you, Kurt.  With all that's going on, Ah sure could use
someone ta be close to that wasn't expectin' to get a kiss from me."  She
then hugged Kurt, careful to keep her skin from touching his.  Luckily, his
costume covered him all the way up his neck.

"Why don't we go inside,"  Kurt suggested, "I'm sure Kitty would kill me if I
told her you'd made a visit, then hogged all of your time for myself."

Rogue smiled again, "Ah think that's a great idea, Fuzzy."  They then walked
inside.
   

Third Encounter

Rogue hesitated outside of the Virginia complex that was now the home of
X-Factor.  She didn't really tell anyone she was coming, and knew there was a
good chance that the team was out on a mission.  But she knew that if she had
delayed this any longer, she might never do it.  Finally, she walked up to
the door.

"Please state your name, and the nature of your visit,"  a computerized voice
came from a small speaker beside the door.

"Ah'm Rogue, from the X-Men,"  she stated, "Ah've come to visit Mystique."

"Please look into the eye for a retinal scan," the voice said again, and she
did so.  After a moment, the voice said, "Identity confirmed.  Welcome to the
X-Factor headquarters, Rogue."

"Thank you,"  she said, though she knew it probably wasn't nessessary, "Ah
don't suppose ya'd be able to tell me where Mystique is?"

The voice answered her, "Mystique is in the living area.  Follow the lights
on the wall, and you will be led to her."

Rogue had known Forge for years, since he first started working for the
government as a weapons inventor.  It wasn't until he created the weapon that
the government tried to use on her, and was used on Storm instead, that she
really got to know him, and understand the scope of his mutant ability.  She
was still surprised at how much of what he created seemed to come right out
of a science fiction movie.  This computer guide, for instance.  She could
have sworn she saw it on Star Trek, but Forge was the only person she knew
that could actually make one.

She stopped when the lights did, just outside a room that served as the
living area.  There, staring out the window with her back to Rogue, was Raven
Darkholme, in what Rogue always knew as her true form, red hair and blue skin
that was a little lighter hue than Kurt's.  Even if she was morphed into the
form of someone else, Rogue would know it was her.  Growing up with this
woman as her mother taught her to recognize when she had morphed into a
different form.

Rogue swallowed hard, then spoke, "Hello, 'Momma.'  Glad to see ya recovered
from the fall."

Mystique turned around to face the cold voice, surprised.  It took a lot to
surprise her, and even more for it to come from one of her children, this one
in particular. She smiled, "Rogue.  It's good to see you."  She started
towards Rogue.

Rogue stepped away from her with every step, "Ah'm sure it is, considerin'
the last time Ah saw ya, ya were plummetin' to your death.  Come ta think of
it, that was the last time ya even talked to me."

"I did that -"  Mystique started, but was cut off by Rogue.

"For mah own good,"  Rogue finished, "Seems to me Ah've heard that b'fore."

"I don't blame you for being angry, Rogue,"  Mystique said.

"No, Ah don't reckon ya do,"  Rogue fought to keep her voice even, "And Ah'm
sure ya'd like nothing better than ta just put it past us so we can go back
to how it was b'fore."

"It is possible, my daughter,"  Mystique said.

"Don't call me that!"  Rogue yelled, "If Ah was really your daughter, ya
wouldn't have done that ta me.  Do ya know what I went through this time?  If
Ah'd known ya'd survive that fall, Ah'd have taken out a piece of Creed
instead of letting him go while Ah talked ta ya, and still had time to save
Kurt."

"I only did what was best for both you and Kurt,"  Mystique said.

"Ah'm sure that's how ya see it,"  Rogue said, "Did Forge tell ya how Ah
reacted to his theory that ya survived?  Did he tell ya how much it hurt to
use one of his gizmos to re-live that moment several times?  Did ya ever
think of anyone but yourself?"

"That's a little unfair,"  Mystique said.

"Is it, Momma?"  Rogue asked, "Ya make us believe that ya died, and then ya
go off to try to kill Legion while he's in a coma."

"He killed Irene,"  Mystique said, "You know how much she meant to me."

"As much as Ah thought Ah did,"  Rogue said.

"I loved you, Rogue,"  Mystique said, "I still do."

"Then why'd ya let me think ya were dead - again?"  Rogue said, trying to
fight back tears.  She knew that this wasn't going to be easy for her.

"It seemed the best way to protect you,"  Mystique said, "I didn't want you
involved in what I was planning."

"Ya mean ya didn't want me ta know ya were going to murder a helpless boy,"
 Rogue said.

"He was hardly helpless,"  Mystique said.

"He was unconscious in a hospital!"  Rogue said, "How much more helpless can
ya get?"

"Legion's powers -"

"-Don't make much of a difference,"  Rogue said, "And they don't change what
ya did, or that ya got away with it."

"I didn't kill him, so I'd hardly call that getting away with it,"  Mystique
said.

"Really?  Look where ya are.  For attempted murder, ya should be locked up.
 They can prove that even if that can't prove some of the other horrible
things ya've done.  But ya're sitting here, free as a  bird."

"I'd hardly call this free,"  Mystique said, "I was bullied into joining this
outfit, and they've got a device planted in my brain."

"Yeah, Ah heard about it,"  Rogue said, "It changes nothin'.  Ya're still a
person who thinks about no one but herself."

"How -dare- you say that to me!"  Mystique yelled, "Was I thinking of myself
when I took you in?  Was I thinking of myself when I gave you food and
clothing?  When I made sure you still got some education?  When I comforted
you when you woke up screaming from nightmares?  Tell me why I did all of
that if I was only thinking about myself!"

Rogue had to admit that Mystique had a point.  While she lived with Mystique,
she always had the impression that she mattered to the woman.  She felt that
Mystique and Destiny were her family, or as close to family as one was
allowed to have in this lifetime.  Still, she knew she couldn't give in.  She
couldn't set herself up for what she was sure was going to be another fall.
 She told Mystique, "Ah haven't seen that woman since Ah joined the X-Men.
  Yeah, ya saved Xavier, but you put his life in danger in the first place.
 Ya want to prove ya really are that woman, Mystique?  Pretend ya're still
settin' an example for me, that Ah'm still thirteen with a lot to learn about
life.  Only this time, Ah'll be watchin' ya more closely than Ah did then.
 Ah'll be able to spot when ya're bein' sincere.  Stray away from the
straight and narrow path, or treat anyone like they're beneath ya, and ya
lose me as a daughter forever.  If Ah really matter to ya, you'll do that for
me.  Ah love ya, Mystique, but Ah cain't trust ya.  Not now.  Show me Ah
can."

Then, before she said another word, or worse yet, burst into tears, Rogue
flew out of the room, making sure Mystique didn't have the opportunity to
catch her.  She knew only time would tell.


Final Encounter

She found herself in a quiet neighborhood in Boston.  She stood in view of an
address she had found in Professor Xavier's computer, long before she decided
to take a break from the X-Men.    She told herself that this time, she would
just watch.  She had to make sure that the person who lived in the house was
leading a normal and happy life, one she knew that person had wanted all
along, and one Rogue knew she could never have.

"What the hell are -you- doing here?"  came an angry voice behind Rogue.  She
turned to find Carol Danvers shutting the door to the car she had parked on
the side of the street.  Rogue noticed that the motor was still running.

"Ah ain't here to cause trouble, Carol,"  Rogue said, sincere, 'All Ah wanted
to do was see that you were okay.  Ah wasn't even going ta talk ta ya."

Carol seemed as cautious as Rogue was, and Rogue knew by the look on her fact
that she was debating whether or not to send her into orbit.  "Then what were
you planning on doing, Rogue?"

"Just seeing how ya were living,"  Rogue said, "Wonder what ya were doing,
and how you were livin ya're life.  Hoping Ah'd see that ya regained
everything Ah took from ya that really mattered."

"What's that supposed to mean?"  Carol said, "You stole my memories, my
feelings for those I loved in my past!  How can I ever regain that?"

Rogue knew then that the one thing she had hoped with Carol had not come
true, and now she had to tell Carol what happened, "Ah don't know quite how
to say this."

"Say what?"  Carol said, now confused.

"Ah don't have your memories anymore, Carol,"  Rogue said.

"How the hell did you accomplish that?"  Carol asked, shocked.

"Ah didn't do anything,"  Rogue said, "Ah went through this dimensional
portal, and when Ah came out, the me that was me and the me that was you were
seperated.  Only we only had one life force between us.  When Ah found out
the you that was in me was gone, Ah was hoping everythin' returned to you,
even though ya were still in space at the time."

Carol Danvers had seen and experienced so much in her life that it didn't
really shock her to hear what other people would dismiss as science fiction,
"What happened?  What did you do with the other me?"

"We fought,"  Rogue said, "We couldn't live without the other, but we
couldn't live with each other, either.  Ah got the upper hand, and almost
killed the other Carol.  But Ah couldn't do it.  She almost killed me.  Ah
was knocked unconscious, and when Ah came to, Ah had the powers, but not the
memories.  Ah'm so sorry, Carol.  Now there ain't no way for you to get them
back if they didn't return then."

"What, you expect me to say that it makes everything okay now, Rogue?"  Carol
said, "That just because you're no longer a villain and say you're sorry,
that makes it okay?"

"Actually, no,"  Rogue said, "Ah don't expect ya'll ever forgive me.  Ah
don't blame ya. really."

"You don't blame me,"  Carol stated, "Well, Rogue, do you know what?  I may
burn in hell for saying this, but I wish that that other self of mine had
killed you.  Or worse, do what you did to me, take your powers and your
memories.  Then you'd know what it was like to see people and know who they
are and their importance in your life, but not be able to *feel* anything for
them.  I want you to walk down the street from the house you grew up in, and
not be sure they way you're going is the right way, when all you want to do
is go to the store.  I want you to page through a photo album and see
yourself in it, but not really know who it is you're looking at."

"That's fair,"  Rogue said, "Ah always thought Ah deserved whatever was
coming to me, just for what Ah did to you.  It's the one thing Ah can never
make up for."

"Do me a favor,"  Carol said, "And don't even try.  Just leave me alone.  You
may feel some connection to me because you had me in your head for a few
years, but I don't have any connection to you at all.  And if we ever meet
face to face again, I'll kill you without a second thought.  I never had the
option of being attacked.  You do.  Don't screw it up."  Carol then returned
to her car, and drove to the driveway in her house, not bother to look back
to see if Rogue was still standing on the sidewalk.

Rogue realized something then.  She agreed with every since word Carol spoke.
 She knew Carol would never forgive her for what happened.  And as much as
she had fooled herself in the past, she knew that she'd never forgive herself
for it, either.

****Finis****