Douglas Ramsey's Diary [9/18]

by Benway

Warning: This story is not very nice, but then the 
world isn't very nice either. If want escape, read 
elsewhere. This story is not intended for children
of any age.

Some characters in this story belong to Marvel. 
Everything else belongs to me.

*****************************************************

March 27/89

I have been transferred to a special hospital for 
crazy kids. Everyone here tells me that I shouldn't 
talk like that, but those are the best words for 
it. It is run by a church, and it is supposed to be 
almost as good as the big clinic near my 
house. There are some nice guys who seem pretty 
normal called Glenn and Dave who helped me unpack. 
There are some weird kids too, who dress funny. My 
new doctor is Dr Lovell. He told me that he had the 
highest cure rate among all the doctors. I could 
See that it was partially a threat. Get better or 
else. I don't know what 'or else' is yet, but I am 
very, very scared. 

March 28/89

It is horrible here. I can See nothing but pain. 
There is a retard who keeps passing out. Two kids 
on the ward keep shitting themselves. One or two 
look normal, but they aren't. I can See it. The 
staff don't care either. They know that they can't 
do anything, so they just pretend. I can See 
through the fake cheerfulness. It hurts. I will not 
get out of here alive. It is my punishment for 
being a failure as a son.

March 29/89

I had my first group session today. There are 11 
other kids on my ward. They are all between the 
ages of 10 and 15. They are:

1) Elizabeth (12). She is very thin and doesn't eat 
very much, or say very much. 

2) Kerry (15). She seems to be normal, kind of, but 
I think that she likes other girls. She also 
dresses in black and dyes her hair funny. She wears 
a lot of make-up, and it looks kind of neat.

3) Nathan (15). He is also a bit flaky, and I think 
that he's a homo.

4) Glenn (15). He is Dr. Lovell's favorite patient. 
He is here for observation, but no-one will say 
what is wrong with him. I don't think that he is as 
nice or as normal as I thought he was.

5) Brian (11). He has some kind of sleep disease, 
and he just passes out all of a sudden. He also 
screams really loudly for no reason. He has been 
here since he was 5.

6) Julie (13). She is schizophrenic, like they say 
I am. She had a fit after her brother got married, 
and couldn't stop hearing church bells in her ears 
for weeks after. She wears way too much make-up. 
Like me, she can't watch TV (and the TV is on all 
day in the dayroom). She says it talks to her, and 
tells her that she is a bad person. It just says 
too much for me to deal with.

7) Dave (14). He is Glenn's friend. He seemed pretty 
normal at first, but I saw him punching the wall 
until the nurses came and restrained him. I have 
seen this three times now. His left hand is always 
wrapped in bandages. I thought he was really nice 
at first, helping me move into my room, but then he 
suddenly started screaming dirty words at me for no 
reason at all. He said a lot of bad things about my
Mom.

8) Megan (14). She is sort of retarded, but nice. 
She is just like a little kid, and she sometimes 
doesn't get to the toilet in time.

9) Anne-Marie (12). She is sort of thin, like 
Elizabeth, and she said that she slept with boys 
because her father raped her. I was completely 
shocked. Then Dr. Lovell said that her father had 
died before she was born. She hangs around with 
Glenn and Dave, sometimes, so I don't trust her.

10) Wendy (12). Sort of like Megan, only stupider.

11) Scott (14). Sort of like Wendy, except a boy.

We all have our own rooms, which are off a hallway 
that leads to the dayroom, the bathrooms, the 
nursing station, and the dining room. The doors are 
locked, and we are allowed outside only once a day
Everything is painted a horrible green colour. I 
can't figure out why we all have to be together. 
Megan, Wendy, and Scott can barely talk. Kerry and 
Nathan seem perfectly normal, except for who they 
want to fuck and how they dress. I am getting 
really scared of Glenn. I also noticed that 
Elizabeth, Dave, and Julie don't look into anyone's 
faces either. I also found out that I got the room 
of a boy who set himself on fire while at home on a 
day pass. When I got here, his things were still in 
the room. They are gone now, and I am glad.