Douglas Ramsey's Diary [12/18]

by Benway

Warning: This story is not very nice, but then the
world isn't very nice either. If want escape, read
elsewhere. This story is not intended for children
of any age.

Some characters in this story belong to Marvel.
Everything else belongs to me.

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April 6/89

Dad came to visit again. He had more good news
about Mom, and he said that he had finally told her
where I was. She said that I would be out soon, and
then we could all be together again. I wanted to
hug Dad, but I know he doesn't like it, and I know
that now he would just back off. I have never
wanted to be hugged so much in my life.

April 7/89

I was hanging out with Kerry and Nathan in the
yard, and Nathan told me that a lot of guys would
find me really attractive. It was really scary. He
said that blond, skinny, pretty boys turned a lot
of guys on, but that he liked guys that were big
and hairy. He called them bears. I was so
embarrassed. Kerry was saying things about the
girls that she liked, but I was thinking about who
might be looking at me. I know that Nathan doesn't,
in the few times that I've been able to look at his
face, but I think that somebody does. I don't think
I want to be liked that way.

April 10/89

It is so boring here. Anne-Marie slashed herself
today with a piece of broken glass and had to go to
get her arm bandaged. Nathan went home today,
because he turned 16 and they can't keep him in
here any more. I will miss him. Dave told me to go
stick something up my chocolate baby making hole,
but I can't figure out what that means.

April 11/89

The worst thing so far. Dave and Glenn caught me
while the nurses were changing shifts. Dave pinned
me down, and Glenn kissed me on the lips and stuck
his tongue in my mouth. It was horrible. I got away
from them, and I said something about this in
group, but Dr. Lovell didn't believe me. Dr. Lovell
likes Glenn. Then Dave told everyone that he had
seen Nathan and me kissing in the yard. I jumped on
him, and they rolled me up in a mattress and gave
me a needle and I went to sleep until dinnertime.