Subject: [OTL]: ~humor~ Be Careful Who You Wish For... prt1/? Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000 21:44:54 -0700 From: Mary Holt Be Careful Who You Wish For... prt1/? By: Darkchilde & Binkeee WARNING!!!: Okay, me and the fellow author were up to 6 in the morning writing this, both, I think on sugar highs, and in the giggles. Another thing, is that no matter what we say, we are NOT I repeat NOT kitty pryde fans, that begins to show in prt 3... .>:) Author's Notes: We both love the X-Men, we both love the Labyrinth movie. Nuff said! DISCLAIMER: The baby x-force like people you see below belong to Darkchilde, and the rest of the people either belong to Marvel or who ever has rights to Labyrinth!!! Robert Drake stood alone in the middle of the living room, holding a bowl of popcorn and a spilling can of coke. His mouth made a perfect 'O' as he stood before the Goblin King. "You're not real! Aw crap!" Bobby spat as the King stood proudly in front of the younger man with a smug look on his face. Jareth lifted a perfect golden eyebrow. "You thought me not to be real? Well, young man, I have news for you. I am. Very, very real. And now you..." "Have thirteen hours to complete the Labyrinth. I know, I know." "Oh, you know, do you? Tell me how you know?" "I've seen the movie. You really do look like David Bowie." Bobby informed him. "David-- Bowie?" Jareth questioned. "Never mind." Bobby said, dropping the contents he held to the floor before he sat down on the candy-covered couch. "Well? Are you going to try?" "YES!" Bobby shouted. "But I wished away five kids.... So technically don't five people have to solve the Labyrinth?" Jareth pondered his question for a bit, before looking down at the brown haired man. "I suppose." "Great! Uh--stay right there." Bobby commanded fruitlessly as he ran out of the room. A few moments later, four others filed into the room with Bobby. "Who's the git in the tights?" Pete Wisdom questioned, lighting up a cigarette. "Excuse me?" Jareth asked, all regal superiority and sheer will power. "Well, I suppose that would be yer, right? Yer the only one in tigh..." Wisdom trailed off, noticing that Jareth was not the only male wearing tights in the room. The King of the Goblins glared at Wisdom for a moment before making an odd gesture; one that in his kingdom amounted to flipping the bird. "Robert. This is the man that took the X-Babies?" Storm asked, her blue eyes glaring at the black clad man standing in the breeze of the opened window. "Yeah. We have 13 hours to solve his maze or the kids are goblins." Bobby explained. "Too bloody late." Wisdom commented. "That's correct." Jareth interjected, quite tired of this. "But you are mutants, and in this case if you don't solve the Labyrinth in time, OR if you use your powers in any way the children will be turned into goblins, and become mine forever." "I don' see de problem wit' dat." Gambit said charmingly. "Remy!" Storm scolded, lifting an eyebrow at the Cajun. Quite a bit was broadcasted through that eyebrow as well---not only did it convey, 'shut up you moron' (only in much more diplomatic terms), 'we must get the children back at all cost' and 'meet me in my bedroom tonight at nine o'clock sharp'. Of course, that last bit might have been Gambit's wishful thinking. "This is truly fascinating." Hank murmured to himself, moving forward to stand in front of Jareth. "What, that he's a King from another dimension, and makes a living stealing babies?" Bobby asked "That he appeared here without setting off the alarms?" Ororo suggested. "That he's wearing tights?" Was Wisdom's contribution. "No, that he is managing to keep his hair standing on end like that. It defies the laws of gravity and physics." Hank replied "ENOUGH!" Jareth exclaimed slapping Hank's curious hands away from his hair. Stepping aside from the window, the King pointed to the golden view beyond. "Let me guess, the babies are in there. And do we still want to go?" Bobby asked with a bright smile. Jareth glared at him. "Will you STOP stealing MY lines!" "Get new material and I will." Jareth grumbled under his breath and then pointed to a clock on a tree. "You have thirteen hours in which...HEY! Where are you going?" The five-person gang was already down the hill before Bobby turned to him and screamed, "We already know that speech." "In other words, save your breath." Wisdom added. "And, mon ami, a little tip from Gambit, if you show de femmes your business--you're going to be alone for a very long time." Jareth just glared at the retreating fivesome. However, the one called Gambit's words seemed to make sense. "Perhaps a change of image could entice Sarah..." Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, Jareth faded out of sight, to disappear back into his castle and see to his five new hostages. The five X-People soon reached the walls of the Labyrinth, and they began to look around for an entrance. "Just how the hell are we suppose to get IN there to solve the bloody thing?" Wisdom asked, puffing on his cigarette. A strong puff of wind blew the smoke out. "Would you kindly stop SMOKING in my Labyrinth? I spent a long time making it, and I would rather it not burn down." Pete flipped the air off, before lighting up another smoke. "What the..?" Wisdom questioned, touching the top of his hair. Looking at his hand, his face twisted in disgust. "A bird just used me for a bloody toilet!" Looking up, he saw a white owl flapping lazily towards the castle. It sounded like it was laughing. "Look!" Hank said, pointing his large blue finger to a short man that seemed confused over a piece of paper. He held two sprayers in his hand, one silver, and one pink. "Excuse me?" Ororo asked politely. Hoggle looked up from the sheet of paper and frowned. "Oh, it's you." "Are dey all so intelligent in dis place?" Remy asked, lifting an eyebrow. "Which one of yous is Pete?" Four fingers pointed accusingly at the man in the black suit. "Thanks. You all would be great under integration." Pete muttered as Hoggle walked up to him and started to spray the British-born man with the pink sprayer. "What the bloody hell!" "Jareth told me to spray you with this stuff. Sos I am." Hoggle told the sputtering Englishman. "Well you can bloody well stop before I clobber ya with it!" Pete made a grab at the sprayer, but Hoggle yanked it out of his reach. "Ims just doin' what the King ordered me to do." "Yeah, well, if the King ordered ya ta walk off a bleatin' cliff, would ya?" "Probably." Ororo and Hank exchanged a look of pure horror. "That is horrible! How is it that the man inspires such...fear in you?" Ororo asked, lying a hand on his shoulder. "I's a coward." Hoggle explained. "OW! OW! BLOODY HELL, OW!" Pete screamed. The remaining five all turned to look at Pete, and Bobby bit back a laugh to see nearly ten golden fairies swarming around Pete and seeming to bite him. "Now dat's what I call a chick magnet." Pete danced around wildly, trying to throw the little ladies off of him with no success. "Maybe you shouldn't have made fun of de man's tights, homme." Remy observed Pete glared. "We need to start." Ororo pointed out calmly. "Okay, Hoggle how do we get into the Labyrinth?" Bobby asked, thankful that his first girlfriend had a serious 'thing' for eighties movies. "You gets in there." Hoggle pointed to a set of doors, which opened wide. Pete was the first to run inside the doors, arms still swinging wildly around him. Once inside he took a karate stance and started to swat at air. "A bit paranoid?" Hank asked, entering with the rest of the little group. "Hey, I'm telling you, this king bloke has it in for me!" Pete swore, glaring at the foursome. "Maybe he tinks you're cute and don' know how to tell you." "That's bloody sick, mate." Pete gulped. "Yeah, and he likes that little dark haired chick too... what was her name... oh, yeah. Sarah." Bobby spoke up. "Was she not very young?" Ororo asked, knitting her eyebrows together. The four males gaped at her, and she shrugged. "I too have seen the movie." "Yeah, well, whatever. Yeah, she was a young brunette." Bobby said. Ororo smiled sweetly at Pete. "Perhaps you and he have more in common than you think." "I got too much pride to go pradin' around in tights." was Pete's only answer, along with a dark look that said 'say anything like that again and someone's losing a tooth.' "I thought the problem was you didn't have any Pryde." Bobby asked innocently, Pete didn't bother with a mean look as he dove for the American twit. "Down boys." Ororo said, placing herself in between Bobby and a red faced Englander just in time to avoid Wisdom from slamming Bobby to the ground. "We have to get started." "I vote to split up." "Yeah...me and the Bobster." Wisdom growled. "NO!" Bobby refused. "Cause out there, there are no witnesses!!" "Exactly." "BOYS." "We'll behave." Bobby promised, moving away from Wisdom. "Says you." Wisdom growled at him, lifting an eyebrow. This was a very dangerous eyebrow. This eyebrow said 'you cross me again, and you're dead' and 'gee, what a great shirt! Can I borrow it?' "How about, Stormy and I go dis way," Remy pointed to the right. "And you t'ree go dat way?" "Fine." "Sounds good." "I agree." "Grrr..." "Pete, stop growling at me, you sound like Wolverine." Comments wanted!!!!