Author's Note: Originally written as the answer to a challenge on B/S central before it went down. Challenge will be posted at the end of the story.

I started this story a very long time ago. After several computer crashes I thought it was lost until recently when I happened upon a lone floppy disc.

I did have a beta for this long ago and far away but when I lost the story for the second time I pretty much gave up.

Suggestions or comments are welcome and any offers from the beta fairy will gladly be excepted... as long as you are of age.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 2: Cotton candy and fortunetellers

Author's Notes:

A night out on the town with the new man in her life has Buffy thinking about a certain blonde vampire, and her regrets.

Please review.

 

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Buffy pushed her hair back from her face and inhaled the warm night air.  She could smell the popcorn and cotton candy, thinking wistfully that the sounds of joyful screams were a type of music she'd never thought to hear.

The lights of the carnival shone brightly, a myriad of rainbow colours reflected in the eyes of the man whose hand she held. Smiling down at her, those same eyes carried only warmth and affection.

She looked up into them and gave his hand a small squeeze, ducking her head so he wouldn't see the sudden tears that glittered in hers.

She was in Rome, one of the most romantic cities in the world, walking hand in hand with a man who openly adored her.   Her life as The Slayer behind her, free at last to live a normal life.

So why when she should be enjoying that life, and the new man in it, was she thinking of blue eyes and the man whose very soul seemed to be mirrored in them.

"What is it Cara?" her boyfriend enquired "Are you not having a good time?"   Pulling her into his arms he gently tilted her chin with his fingertips so he could study her face.

She smiled at him.  It was warm and glowing with the promise of laughter, the laughter he saw so rarely. Still he was sad but not surprised to notice that it did not reach her eyes.

"You are thinking of him again, yes?" He asked gently, heart aching for this woman he had come to care for so much in the last few months.

For over two thousand years he had walked the earth alone, taking his pleasure from the many woman he met, vowing to never again let the pain of loosing a lover touch him the way it had that first and only time .

Years had passed with that vow unbroken. Until now.

It had taken one glance across a crowded dance floor to feel that long forgotten stirring in his heart and he knew he was lost to the emotions this woman had awoken.

He looked deep into hazel eyes, shinning with unshed tears that he knew she would not normally allow to fall in his presence.  Again he cursed the fates for bringing her to him, this woman whom he should be able to love like no other. Knowing he could never really have her.... not completely.

Her heart was lost with him the vampire that had given his soul and his life for her.  She had no more love to give; it had been burnt and consumed along with her lover in the Hellmouth.

"No... no Armando, I'm having a wonderful time." She offered, trying to reassure the man in whose arms she rested.

"I guess It's just sometimes... sometimes when I'm least expecting it I forget for a moment that he's truly gone and ...and then when I remember" Her voice trailed off the truth of her words robbing her of her ability to finish.

<>Pulling her closer, his lips brushed her forehead while he murmured soft words of comfort.   "Ah Mi Amore, I know it is hard and that you miss him". He offered gently. "But I believe from all you have told me of him he would not have wanted you to grieve. He gave his life for you, yes? He would not wish for you to be so sad Buffy.  I am sure he would want you to remember only the happy times."

His eyes caressed her face, sincerity shinning from them, and once again it struck her just how unfair her life was.

This man offered everything she had ever wanted. He was wise and kind, handsome, rich, funny, and a wonderful lover.  He should have been so easy to fall in love with, but no matter how much she wished differently she wasn't in love with him and she knew she never would be.

Unknowingly her thoughts echoed his earlier ones.  Thinking to her self, that it seemed to her that any ability she'd had to love had died with Spike and the destruction of Sunnydale.

"The happy times" she murmured wistfully," Not so many of those I'm afraid, Spike and I, we were more about the bad times," she finished sadly.

"Ah" he said nodding his head wisely... "But in the end my little one I think it was not so bad, Yes?"

"Yeah, you're right in the end at times it was... better... he... I ... We were better."  The tears in her eyes spilled over and flowed down her cheeks as she remembered those last few nights in her basement, and the belief in her that she had seen in his eyes each time he looked her way.  Then of course they went inevitably to those last few minutes in the Hellmouth when his belief in her had faltered, refusing to believe her long awaited words of love.

"Stupid damn vampire" she mumbled sniffling against the Immortal's chest. "I told him and he didn't believe me. All those years he waited... wanted me to tell him... even throw him just a crumb and when I finally admit it to myself and to him ... the stupid, pigheaded dumb vampire doesn't believe me."

'No you don't ... but thanks for saying it" she muttered angrily... "Ill give him no you don't."   Her sudden fury abruptly vanished as once again the fact that she was never going to get the chance to yell at him again hit her. Gasping as her heart clenched with loss, she squeezed her eyes shut trying to will away the fresh wave of pain.

"It is ok Mia-caro ...I remember what it feels like to loose the one you love before you have the chance to know that love completely." He soothed.   "It is a thing that takes enorme amount of time to come to terms with" the Immortal offered solemnly, even as His thoughts drifted to another woman with hazel eyes that he had loved long ago.

"You will always have the pain mi caro... but it will get better with time."  Head dipping gallantly, he swept her up in his arms and whirled her around until despite herself Buffy found herself laughing dizzily.

"And I of course will do my best to see that the time for you she flies's... Hey Belladonna".

When her head and her stomach had stopped spinning she reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, before brushing her lips against his.  Pulling back she smiled...   "Thank you Armando for being here and being so understanding... I don't know what I would have done without you these past few months... The others," she sighed.

<>"Well the others just wouldn't understand. But in a weird way the fact that you knew him all those years ago, even soulless, makes it somehow easier to be open with you".

"Ah mio-amore, did I not tell you that I would be your shoulder to cry on, that having you in my life is thanks enough?" 

Staring into his eyes Buffy watched his expression become serious with his next words

"These things I meant Buffy... jealousy is an emotion that for someone my age is not, how would you say appetibile. His brow furrowed before clearing. "Ah yes in English you would say... not becoming."  He laughed lightly at her amused eye roll, and pulled her closer into his side before turning to survey the carnival.

Eyes scanning the many attractions, looking for something to amuse and distract his girl, his gaze fell upon a very familiar gypsy tent and his brows lifted in surprise.
Ah Magda is here he thought.  I should have known... Ah well. He sighed giving a mental shrug.. It is, as the powers must want.

"Hey, mio slayer. I have an idea, come we will go and see an old friend and she if you cross her palm with silver will tell your fortune."

At her sceptical look he released her only to enfold her hand in his, tugging her towards the tent. "Come it will be fun Buffy, and who knows, you might find some of the answers to the questions that trouble you so. Come," he urged again, suddenly boyish in his enthusiasm to break Buffy from her gloom.

"I don't know Armando" said Buffy hesitantly as her boyfriend tried to pull her towards a tent of royal purple that was covered in tacky paintings of mystical signs and stars.

"Me and the mystical... not much with the mixy... had a bad experience with this mummy hand once and it sorta soured me on the whole mystical deal" she muttered nervously.  "Besides" she said brightly "I've still got that whole slayer dream early warning system going, so I'm good."  She laughed and started to back away from the tent trying to coax the man with her away from the place that suddenly had her slayer senses tingling.

She thought she had won the little battle, when all of a sudden he shouted with laughter.  "Oh mio slayer you are afraid of the fortune teller... oh that is so funny, my brave little Slayer is afraid to have her fortune told," he teased still chuckling as he pulled her into his arms.

"I AM NOT SCARED," she denied loudly and indignantly, even as she felt herself flushing right to the roots of her hair.

He shot her a sceptical look, grinning inwardly as a look of determination settled on her features.

"It is ok Buffy" he soothed "a lot of people are nervous of the fortune telling, it is nothing to be ashamed of, to be frightened is......"

"Right, that's it" she spat with a glare, cutting him off before he could finish. "C'mon then, lets get this over with."  Releasing his hand she turned and marched determinedly towards the large purple tent.

If she had taken just a moment to look at her lover she would have seen a strange mixture of sadness and trepidation in his eyes, hidden carefully behind the carefree mask of amusement that he showed the world.