So, the members of Excalibur went their seperate ways. Pete Wisdom rode North through the Dark Forest of Ewing, accompanied by his least favourite dragon, Lockheed.
Lockheed: Bravely, bold Pete Wisdom rode
forth from Muir Isle
He was not afraid to die.
O! Brave Pete Wisdom.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Pete Wisdom.
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his knee caps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled
Brave Pete Wisdom
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplucked
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off
And his peni....
Pete Wisdom: Right...er...that's enough singing for now. Heh. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
Three-Headed-Sentinel: Halt! Who art thou?
Lockheed: He is brave Pete Wisdom
Brave Pete Wisdom who...
Pete Wisdom: Shut up! Erm...nobody really...uh...uh...just passing through.
Three-Headed-Sentinel: What do you want?
Lockheed: To fight! And...
Pete Wisdom: Shut up! Oh...er...nothing...nothing really...er...just to...er...just to pass through.
Three-Headed-Sentinel: I'm afraid not!
Pete Wisdom: Ah, well actually, I am a member of Excalibur.
Three-Headed-Sentinel: You're a member of Excalibur?
Pete Wisdom: I am.
Right Head: In that case I shal have to kill you.
Middle Head: Shall I?
Left Head: Oh, I don't think so.
Middle Head: Well, what do I think?
Right Head: I think, kill him.
Left Head: Oh, let's be nice to him.
Right Head: Oh, shut up.
Pete Wisdom: Can I...?
Right Head: And you! Oh, quick, get the sword out! I want to cut his head off.
Left Head: Oh, cut your own head off! Yes, do us all a favour.
Right Head: What?
Left Head: Yappin' on...
Middle Head: You're lucky, you're not next to him.
Right Head: What do you mean?
Middle Head: You snore.
Right Head: Ooo, I don't. Anyway, you've got bad breath.
Middle Head: Well, it's only 'cos you don't brush my teeth.
Left Head: Oh, stop bickering and let's go and have tea.
Right Head: Oh, alright, alright, alright, we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.
Middle Head: Yes.
Left Head: Oh, not biscuits.
Right Head: Alright, alright, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway.
Left and Middle Heads: Right.
Middle Head: He's disappeared.
Left Head: So he has. He's scarpered.
Lockheed: Brave Pete Wisdom ran away.
Pete Wisdom: No!
Lockheed: Bravely ran away, away.
Pete Wisdom: I didn't.
Lockheed: When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Pete Wisdom: No.
Lockheed: Brave Pete Wisdom turned about
And indeed he chickened out.
Pete Wisdom: I didn't.
Lockheed: Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat.
Pete Wisdom: I never did.
Lockheed: Brave, brave, brave Pete Wisdom!
Pete Wisdom: I never...