------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Disclaimer: Everything you're about to read is based on the Marvel universe and the characters in it. It all belongs to Marvel. I'm doing this without permission, and I'm making no money whatsoever. So have a heart would ya, and don't sue me. Thanx. Breanna MacLeod The J-Files: Frostbite ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Kewl title huh? And no I DON'T care if it's some Image guy's name so N-YAH! On with my story. In case you've been under a rock fer the past year or five, Emma Frost AKA The White Queen (what kinda codename is that anyway?) is a woman with power. Not only is she mega rich, she's also a telepath. You ever try saying no to a telepath? Didn't think so. Not a pretty picture lemme tell ya, and I've seen it first hand. Frostie used ta be a major P-A-I-N. She was part of the Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club, and I don't need ta refer to my textbook ta tell ya that. You see, my pals the X-Men and the Hellfire Club didn't exactly get along. Okay, they hated each others guts, but hey, things change. Frostie sure did, well kinda. See, this school (The Mass - I'm not even gonna TRY and spell it, you know what I mean doncha?) used to be hers, and hers alone. She got together a buncha kids, mutants, and trained'em. The Hellions were her version of Xavier/Magneto/Cable's New Mutants (don't ask). Anyway, nasty stuff happened and most o'her students were killed after she went nighty-night (can you say comatose? I knew you could) So, the Hellions kicked it but good, and Emma was pulling a Sleeping Beauty. When she finally started to come out of it MORE nasty stuff happened. Ya see, she ended up stuck in popsicle (Iceman's) bod. Really messed him up too. She tends ta do that kinda thing to people, taking over bodies and screwing them up I mean. I know it sounds weird, but ya get used to it. Now, after that she got back to normal, as close to it as she ever gets anyway. She helped us (the GenX kids) through the whole Phalanx thingy and now she's our Headmistress. Yup, you heard me. But don't worry, we still got Irish ta keep her in line. When she doesn't have him jumping out of planes that is. So what's the real deal with Ms. Emma Frost? Besides the fact that the only place she ever shops is Fredrick's of Hollywood? (no I ain't getting you pictures, so just ferget about it) Well, ta be cliched her bark is worse than her bite. She SOUNDS domineering and cold, heck sometimes she is, but she's not TOTALLY like that. When she was trapped by Gene Nation, this little kid Leech was being used ta suck her powers. To kick butt, she first kicked Leech to the far side of the room, poor kid. I think he's got, like, a phobia of thigh high white leather boots now. Not that they're all that common, but Frostie's got at least six pair. She has been nicer to him since though. Enough with the boring background stuff. Time for the juicy details. Ya see, me n' Angelo decided that maybe Frostie had a few secrets we students should find out about. Hey, inquiring minds wanna know. So we decided to do a little research. Alright so we broke into her office, but if anyone asks, it's Gambit's fault. He was a bad influence I tell ya. So there we were, in the middle of the night, trying to break into our telepath headmistress's office. "Ang?" "Shhh, chica. We gotta be real quiet." "I KNOW that you dork!" We had these tiny little flashlight thingies to see with. Her computer wouldn't have worked, cuz she might have realized that somebody had logged on or something like that. So we decided to go for the file cabinet. Using a couple of paper clips, just like the Cajun taught me, I picked the lock. Angelo flipped through the financial papers. "Madre Dios! Do you have any idea how much money Senorita Frost has!?" "SHHHHH! She's got a platinum card, what more d'ya gotta know?" Angelo then moved on to more interesting things. "Oooooh. Ms. Frost is pretty limbre. I didn't know you could do that with a-" "Ang, put those pictures down!" "Awww-" "NOW!" "You're no fun chica." Most of the stuff was pretty boring, then we struck gold. "Omigod... omigod I don't BELIEVE it!" "J?" "This is TOO good." And it WAS. I mean, this was the mother load. Frostie would never live this one down. O'course, the thing is, she's a telepath, and she'd find out that Ang and I were behind it so... "You want me to WHAT?" "Jean keep it down wouldya? 'Sides, you can't REALLY expect me ta believe you don't wanna find out about Emma's secret." "Jubilee, I could scan- Oh My God. I'll do it." Ya shoulda seen the grin on Jean face. She was never too fond of Emma anyway. So Ang and I took what we found, enlarged it, and faxed it out to every fax machine connected to Xaviers. It went to the mansion, to Muir, even back to the school. I luv technology. Jean put psi blocks in me n' Ang, the kind Emma wouldn't notice, and she couldn't break through Jean's shields on a good day anyway. The next morning was to die for. "WHO is responsible for this? Which one of you broke into my office?" I stil can't believe we were able to keep straight faces. Frostie looked like she was gonna start a new ice age all by herself. Anywho, she's been stalkin' around, trying to hunt down whoever did it. Man, she can be scary when she wants to be. She scanned everybody in sight, and boy was she royally torked when she didn't find anything. And the calls! I couldn't stop laughing all day! Moira was talking to Sean, and when Emma came within view o'the screen Dr. Mac just about fell out of her chair in a fit. And when Beast called... "Emma, I know you asked me not to reveal your (achem) alteration. However, seeing as the cat seems to be out of the proverbial bag, I would really like a chance to examine you again. It is my opinion that a health risk such as this-" "McCoy.." "But Emma-" "This is NONE of your business." And 'Ro. Ever since that body switching thing, Storm and Frostie haven't exactly been pals. She was enjoying this way too much. "Emma, really. Henry is only concerned with your-" "Ororo, why don't you go play in your garden? I am perfectly capable of handling the situation. I'm going to find the person who did this and assure them a slow and painful death." "Emma, surely you don't...?" " - make idle threats. Goodbye." Man, if looks could kill! Ol' Popsicle ain't got nuthin' on Frost. Then again, it was only a matter o' time before she snapped. "Ms. Frost. Are you sure that this is wise? Besides the obvious health threat, you are setting an example for your students. Do you realize that-" "Monet-" "-you are giving us the impression that-" "-St. Croix,-" "-we should endanger our health in order to look-" "That is ENOUGH!" "(snort) I just hope Senorita Frost doesn't burst her bubbles during a fight." "Espinosa, I heard that!" "Artie and Leech wanna play bubbles!" "It does explain a lot Frostie. Between the peroxide fer yer hair, and the silicon in yer-" "Jubilation..." "Musta cost you a whole lot of money back then. Can't blame us for- "It is a logical topic to discuss. You do tend to draw attention to your-" "Totally! I KNEW they weren't real. No WAY anybody can have- "ARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!" "Eeep. Yes, Ms. Frost." Needless to say the whole school was in hysterics, despite the psionic headache Emma had given all of us. The only problem was that Ang and me couldn't take credit for the whole thing. That sucks, but hey, that's why I'm writing this. So know ya know. I mean honestly, who else could it have been? Hey, check out my song (the one with the kewl guitar riff) Dum da dum da duh Got a cool Headmistress Dum da dum da duh The White Queen, she is known Dum da dum da duh She likes leather lingere Dum da dum da duh But inside she's silicone Got me a headmistress Yes-sir-ee Just like Ms. Pamela Anderson Lee Dum da dum da duh Later, Jubilation Lee (no relation)