Written as a Long Stand Alone (Was written so it can be read with out reading the first story).

Sequel to Dream Once More (Archived at the Sand lot)

Author: T. Claybourne  (t.claybourne@yahoo.com)

AU And Crossover

Rating: Rated R most chapters for violence and Language, some are NC-17 for sexual content

A/N I'd like to thank my Beta Reader Hawera And muses Michelle Branch, Robbie Williams and Evanescence

Afterglow Chapter 21 Push and Pull

Tap on my window knock on my door, I want to make you feel beautiful, I know I tend to get so insecure It doesn't matter anymore, It's not always rainbows and butterflies, It's compromise that moves us along, yeah, My heart is full and my door's always open, You can come anytime you want Maroon 5

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Spike stood at the door of his new apartment in only his jeans, staring at a frightened Mia. "Come in"

Mia walked through the door and stood stiffly.

"What's wrong lov... ah Mia?"

Mia started pacing about the living room.

"Mia?" Spike stepped in front of her. "Pet! I can't help if you don't tell me what you are on about."

Mia started to rattle incoherently. "He said I glowed and it's too soon for that, I mean, I only just, I 'm not even sure I'm completely over you and if I'm not, who am I glowing about, besides can vampires glow, isn't that just for pregnant woman, and we all know vampires can't get pregnant, well Darla did, but I haven't done anything to get pregnant so that can't be it. Maybe it's a spell, maybe Willow was doing some magic and I got glowing."

"EM!"

She looked at him.

"Let's start with... sit down."

"No, I can't "

"Ok, then tell me this... who is he? Is it Xander?"

"Yes, he said I was glowing and ..."

"Wait, pet." Spike shook his head with confusion. "Tell me what happened before he told you this."

She looked away. "He kissed me."

"Before that?"

"We were looking at two pictures, one of Emma and one of me now."

Spike took her hand and pulled her to the couch. He pushed a stray tendril behind her ear.

"Seeing a picture of Emma, that was hard for you... wasn't it?"

He watched as she took an unnecessary deep breath and let it out. "I was so alive and so happy. It was my picture from Wolfram and Hart. I was so in love with you then that I practically glowed in that picture."

Spike ran his hand through his hair. Well, there it was: Harris had told her that she glowed. The boy was an imbecile. He'd gone and told Mia she was in love with him. Mia could take out any vamp or demon that came her way, but throw this at her, tell her she was in love again, and suddenly she was totally incapacitated.

"Look at me, Mia. There is no comparison between you and Emma; you are as alive as I am. You are happy with your work and you are good at it, and that's more than most sun dwellers can say. May I also mention that you have a mean right hook?"

"Spike."

"You can't compare apples and oranges, so don't."

"The glowing thing?"

"Right, that. I can see that's what's bleeding scaring you, but it's true, pet."

"No! It can't be."

"Fraid so. Not hard for... me...to read the signs."

"I can't be in love, I'll just stop it right now."

"Ha! Please, pet, that never bloody works. Trust me, I know that very well."

Mia leaned in and kissed him, using her tongue. She ran her hand up his thigh until she reached his crotch and began massaging him there. Moving her mouth to his neck and she started to nip him, and pushing up his shirt, her mouth moved down his chest then along his abdominal muscles. She certainly remembered everything that excited Spike.

Spike lost his thoughts for a while. Okay, it felt good and he hadn't had a good shag since she'd left him. He felt himself getting hard. She was moving down his stomach and she unbuttoned the top button of his jeans. He was willing himself to give in and just let it happen, damn all the consequences, but then Buffy saying she was sorry and respected his decision came back to him.

He sat up and carefully pushed Mia away.

"Em, you don't really want to. Remember, we decided all this earlier today."

Mia slipped off the couch to the floor and pulled her knees up under her chin. "I know. How did this happen? I used to be able to... just... have sex... whenever I wanted to."

Spike chuckled. "See I did ruin you."

He saw the corners of her mouth turn up a little.

"OK, I know I'm nowhere near as funny as Harris, but I have both eyes."

She laughed a little a then. "I like his eye patch."

"Of course you do. You do know he'd be completely blind if..."

"If you hadn't thrown a kick at the preacher."

"Once again with that bleeding spectacular memory."

"You were so going to brag, couldn't let you get away with that. I'm sorry I came to you with this but..."

"We vamps have to stick together."

Mia put her head down on her knees and started to cry.

Spike moved to the floor next to her, helplessness washing over him. He ran his hand over her hair.

"Hey, what's with the tears?"

"It's just that everything is such a mess."

Spike squatted in front of her. He used a finger to move her chin and force her to face him.

"Not so messy. You are in England, not exactly as planned, but damn close. I'm here; and we are playing vamp together. You are in love with Xander Harris, and he with you. It's good, he makes you smile, really smile and laugh and have fun again, Em. It's scary, yes, but it was scary when...we... or rather Emma and Spike fell for each other. There were days when I was petrified."

"You never said," she sniffled.

"Big Bad here, not about to bloody admit to something like that."

Mia leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss.

"You aren't going to start again are you, because I may be strong, but not bloody strong enough to resist twice in one night."

She kneeled and hugged him. "Right now... I am wondering why I left you."

"I wonder that myself everyday."

Mia cocked her head and frowned a little. "You do understand why, right? I explained it well enough. But I guess if I hadn't fallen for Xander and you didn't love Buffy we might think more seriously about ..."

"I don't love Buffy, that's why..."

"Oh please, you love her. You are just afraid to admit it, just like I was, AM, because it's too scary with our near immortality thing. It was you who said that vampires don't take that kind of thing lightly, remember."

"I remember. But about Buffy, you're wrong."

"Like that ever happens."

Spike grinned. "How did you get so sodding cocky?"

"Guess?"

His eyebrow went up. "Is that an accusation directed at me?"

"It is what it is"

"So, Madame Superior, you take the bed." Spike watched as she shook her head. "No?"

"I'll take the couch; you take the bed on the first night in your own apartment."

Spike grinned at her. "I'd say that we could share the bed, but after your behavior tonight, I hold not even an ounce of trust in you."

Mia laughed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Spike woke early the next morning. He snuck out of his room and checked that Mia was still sleeping, then he brought the phone into his room.

Willow answered so Spike asked for Harris.

"Spike?"

"Harris, care to tell me what a young, blonde, blue eyed, sexy vampire is doing sleeping here?"

"I don't freaking know what you did after I dropped you off."

"Bugger, let me rephrase that. Care to tell me what a young blonde, blue eyed, sexy and very souled vampire is doing here?"

"What?"

"Go check."

Spike heard the phone be set down, and in only a few moments and Xander picked it back up.

"What is she doing over there?

"What were you doing, telling her she was in love after I told you how she'd feel about it?"

"I thought..."

"No, you didn't"

"Is she alright?" he asked, concern in his voice.

Mia walked in then. "Spike, please tell me you are not talking to Xander?"

"Is that her? Let me talk to her?"

Spike put his hand over the phone. He raised his eyebrow as he said. "I'm not talking to Xander." Then he took his hand back off the receiver.

"Why in the hell did you call him? I didn't want him to know where I was and I do not want to talk to him." Mia put her hands on her hips.

"Did she just say she didn't want to talk to me?" Xander started to sound a little panicked.

"That is what she said, Harris."

"I'm coming over."

"I already did a un-invite spell."

"That doesn't work on humans"

"Want to bleeding bet?"

"If he is coming... I am leaving. Hang up so I can call a cab." Mia walked toward Spike.

"Did she just say she'd leave if I came over?" Now there was panic in his voice.

"Harris buddy, you are so screwed. You know, Mia and I, we talked about sharing the bed, maybe..." Mia grabbed the phone and clicked the receiver down.

Spike pouted. "I was just getting to the good part."

"I didn't come to you last night so you could torture Xander."

"I was looking at that as an added bonus."

Mia ran her hands through her hair. "The Spike Effect"

"What?"

"Nothing. I have to get out of here, he is on the way."

"You.... sod it Mia. You...do not need to run away... you are the vampire."

"I told you. I am not ready for this, it can't happen."

Spike looked at her. He could tell she was serious and he had dealt with her when she put her mind to something.

"Fine. You've obviously made up your mind. I'll hold off Xander and you can hide in the back like a human when he gets here." Spike cocked his head. "Which is about now, if my ears don't deceive me. That sounds like the van out front. Damn, I wonder if he ran every light?"

He watched as she took a deep breath and headed into his bathroom.

There was a frantic knocking at the front door. Spike took his time. He opened the door to see a worried Xander Harris. Spike stood in the door blocking the view. "She left only three minutes ago."

"Where'd she go?"

Spike shrugged. "Don't bleeding know, don't bleeding care"

Xander eyed him. "Then why'd you let her sleep here last night?"

"Owed her for the night before."

"Let me come in and use your phone."

"Use your cell."

"I forgot it."

"Too bad then."

"She's in there right now, isn't she?"

"Harris, would I lie to you?" Spike gestured, his palms up.

Xander's eyes narrowed. He leaned down a bit and shoved his shoulder into Spike, pushing the vampire back. Xander stood in the living room looking around. He saw Mia's jacket. He looked at Spike accusingly.

Spike leaned back against the wall Xander had pushed him into. He crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Where is she?"

"I told you..."

Xander strode towards the bedroom and Spike deciding to have some fun, ran past him and blocked the door. "That's the bedroom; it's a bit of a mess, mate. She's not in there."

Xander pushed past him again. Only the bed, the chest of drawers and the wardrobe occupied the room. Still enjoying the torturing of Xander, Spike walked to the wardrobe and raised his voice a little.

"She wouldn't be in the wardrobe."

"Get out of the way, Spike." Xander ripped open the wardrobe door.

"Harris, do you know how sodding ridiculous you look? You are bleeding searching a wardrobe for Mia."

"I have to find her, explain things."

"It might be too late for that."

"I know but..."

Xander looked at Spike, in his bare chest and jeans, his cocked eyebrow and thought,.....but what? What would he say to her? How could he explain that he was trying to cheer her up last night, not to scare her. Spike was right: he was ridiculous. But the minute she had said she hadn't wanted to see him something had happened. He had felt afraid, the kind of 'it might get dark and lonely again' afraid.

Mia heard the commotion and used the opportunity to sneak out of the bathroom and into the kitchen; she crawled into a large lower cupboard not yet filled by anything.

"I know I'm an idiot, Spike, but let me at least tell her that myself, explain how things like that come out of my mouth and ask her to forget it."

Spike stepped back and used his hand to motion to the bathroom.

Xander opened the door and stepped in; he pulled the shower curtain back. Spike stepped in and saw no Mia but he covered his surprise. "Well?"

"I guess you weren't lying?"

"I guess I wasn't," he said.

Spike walked Xander to the door and shut it. "Mia?" There was silence in response.

"Aha!" Xander pushed the door open.

Spike stared at Xander. "Aha, what?"

"I thought....... "

"I told you the bloody problem that got you into this is that you didn't."

Spike looked out and noted the grey sky. He walked Xander to his van. "Her training classes: she won't miss those and you have access to the building. Also, you ran from love once. Remember the feeling and understand that's a little of what she's feeling. Give her a few hours to not deal and ..."

"I got it."

"Just think this time. She has miles of intelligence: she started college at fifteen so she kind of likes it when others use theirs."

Spike went back into the apartment and went from room to room. He stood in the kitchen and said, "Mia, where in the bleeding hell did you go?"

He heard a muffled, "Spike in the kitchen"

"I'm bloody well standing in the kitchen, woman, and there is no you. I can smell you but..."

"Down here"

He opened the cupboard he heard her voice coming from. There was Mia, all scrunched up.

"I'm stuck."

Spike laughed. "I've heard of running from love, but this is bloody ridiculous."

He reached in and had to pull hard several times to get her out.

"Ouch!"

"You know, Buffy would fit in a small space like this, but..." Mia slid out and crouched on the kitchen floor.

"Please, Spike. If I have to hear how tiny and petite and sweet and cute Buffy is this morning, I'll..."

"What did you say?"

Mia stood up and dusted herself off. "Sorry, I'm a little grouchy after being crunched in there. I just can't stand for one of your Buffy is so small and delicate and adorable and sweet and little and..."

"I never bloody said things like that to you."

"And you are the Spike from what dimension?"

"So you are saying that when we were together I used say things like that about Buffy?"

Mia cocked her head a little and looked sad. "Not so much when we were together, as in living together, but before."

"Before as in?"

"It doesn't really matter now does it?"

"Yes, it bloody well does to me."

"Ok, I'll tell you. When we were friends, and you were training me ..."

"While... you... were in love with me?"

She pressed her lips together and looked away. "Yes."

"Were you ever worried Buffy might show up again?"

"Absolutely."

Spike put his hands on her shoulders. "What if you had known she was in Los Angeles? Would you have told me?"

Mia ran both her hands through her hair and walked into the living room where she sat on the couch. One leg shook. Spike sat next to her and put his hand on it.

"I know this is about what happened between you and Buffy, but I want to answer this for you. I asked myself this so many times. Angel knew she was coming to L.A., he could have told me, warned me, and if he did.... would I have told you?" Her leg started shaking again and Spike let it go for a moment then stopped it again.

"YES, I think I would have, because Spike I knew what she meant to you and how much you loved her. When I was Emma I loved you, but I don't think I could have kept that from you. Remember what I told you, as Emma, the first time you said you loved me: I told you could take it back anytime you wanted."

Spike slumped and laid his head on the back of the couch.

"Spike?"

"I am going to find Drusilla, and when I do, her death will not be quick. First I'll pin her down through her hands and feet, then I will drain her with deep cuts all over her body until she is shriveled: I will break every bone in her body, and after that I will drive jagged sticks into each organ. Finally, when she is crying and begging for mercy I will staple a picture of Emma to her forehead to look at as the sun comes up."

"I have a plan for revenge. Now I hear yours I believe I might have not given it enough thought. It sounds as if there could be more pain involved in my plan. Mine goes like this, I use rail road spikes: those are a tribute to you by the way."

"That's sweet. I think even on one of her bad days Dru might get that."

"Really? I wasn't sure if I'd have to tell her that or not. Anyway I'd use them in each arm and leg muscle as well as her hands and feet. Just before sunrise, I remove spikes from one of her arms. I hand her a stake and get into my very tinted-window car to watch the fireworks."

Spike moved his head to look at her. "That's actually good, she has the pain all night of the spikes, and then come morning she has to chose the stake or the sun. Be a bit disappointing if she chooses the stake, and with Drusilla you never know."

"Oh, did I forget to mention that the stake was plastic wood grain."

Spike smiled. "Plastic stake? You have a fondness for those, pet."

"Yes, I guess you could say that in this instance and with the one I used on Angel, Riley Finn was an inspiration."

Spike groaned. "Riley Finn: why'd you have to bring that name into a perfectly good conversation?"

"We were talking about Dru, so 'perfectly good' is not really appropriate. Besides, he has proven to be quite the muse for me."

Spike grinned. "I remember hearing how you'd put that plastic stake right through Angel's heart. I was so proud. I knew you got that bloody idea from the story I told you about my days in Sunnydale and time with Capt. Cardboard."

"You think I'll ever meet my muse?"

"I bloody well hope not."

"But the stories we could share! Oh well, I guess he'd want take me out now that I rank as a Hostile and a Sub T."

"On a high note, your plan would make your momma proud that day. She'd be screaming in agony, but she'd be proud."

"I owe her a lot, Spike."

"So do I, Em. So do I."

"Wow, look at that. We agree on something." Mia smiled.

Spike patted her thigh. "I think we could agree on something else. Today's weather is a perfect for us. I want to go buy a car and you can help me pick it out."

"You want to buy a car, but that means..."

"I am officially employed by the Watchers' Council as of Monday."

"Are you joking?"

Spike stood up and went to the kitchen. He put a jar of blood in the microwave and pulled down two mugs. "Why would I joke about this?"

"You're doing it on purpose; to get back at me, to punish me." Mia followed him into the kitchen.

"Will you bloody listen to yourself? If I wanted to get back at you, there are a lot more pleasant ways for me to do so." He cocked an eyebrow. "Wait a bleeding minute. I didn't know our lot could do that?"

"What?"

Spike put himself nearly nose to nose with her. "Balls, but you are...you're blushing."

He watched as her eyes flashed amber then back to blue and then narrowed.

"How does the nose feel this morning?"

Spike took an exaggerated breath through it as he turned and poured the blood into both mugs. "It feels as good as new, looks like you only did superficial damage.

"Let me take a closer look at it then."

Spike took a big step back and at the same time shoved a mug of blood at her. "I think not."

Spike watched as Mia leaned against the counter.

"You can sodding stop looking all smug. You do realize that you will be working with me."

"Yeah, I just thought it through."

Spike cocked his head. "You look as though you're happy about it then."

"Ever since the demon was added to my mix, happy is a strong word to use to refer to me: satisfied is better."

Spike cocked up his scarred eyebrow. "Well, we both know how good I am at satisfying you."

Mia choked on the blood she had just swallowed. She wiped her mouth on her hand and smiled.

"Now who's smug? As I recall, you never complained in that area."

"You're right, got me there. Why do you think it took me so long to push you away last night? Well, that and I haven't had a good shag since you left." He punctuated the sentence by swallowing the rest of his blood.

"Me neither. But wait, I saw you..."

"Oh right, your ghostly visit kind of ended the mood and I didn't really get to participate. Something about you yelling... 'this has got to stop' put us both off."

"I was talking about me just showing up wherever and whenever. I was mad at myself."

"No matter now, but I recall that morning after the three vamps you had Harris's scent all over you."

"I told you, he comforted me. He held me while I cried, that's all."

Mia drank down her blood. She hadn't meant to tell him that. She walked to the jar, poured herself some more and sipped on it, hoping he would just let it go.

Spike crossed to her and looked down at her. "Why did you cry that night?"

Mia took another swallow of blood and set the mug down. "Because I saw you and you touched me. I had, I hadn't...."

Mia fingered her locket.

"I hadn't cried since I left, and something broke inside. There was that, and Xander said he thought maybe something happened when I saw that vamp try and sire the girl. He might be right because look what I did to it. It was just a bad night, and Xander was there to catch me."

"I didn't know."

"I didn't want you to. Why I told you now I have no idea. Did you have Willow cast a spell on me, because things are weird?"

Spike chuckled. "I wouldn't say things were really ever normal. I mean, the two of us ending up together was a feat in itself. Shit, there you were, or rather Emma, so young, innocent, beautiful, so bloody intelligent and wise beyond her years. How in the hell did she fall for someone like me?"

"Spike, please...don't...I...but...." Mia frowned and shook her head. "This , this thing, with us now, where I can run to you in the middle of the night over falling in love with someone else, and you take me in and comfort me. What is it, how can it be, after everything I did?"

"I don't bloody know." He grasped her chin with his thumb and forefinger. "I know deep down that I wouldn't have you run somewhere else, and the prospect of working with you gives me a feeling I can't quite explain. I know you love him, and he loves you. It's painfully clear that there is no passion between us, well unless you count the fight. We both love a good fight now don't we? I think you might understand that aspect of me a little better. Before you just loved using your Slayer powers, you didn't get off on the fight, but now it's different, innit, pet? We're birds of a feather. There are only three of our kind and two of us are right here, living only a few miles apart. Of course we'd feel a pull to one another. Whatever ...this...is... well, I don't care, I'm not about to argue with it... I'll take it."

Then he backed away.

Mia smiled, her eyes soft. "Are you trying to make me cry?"

"Was a good speech then, was it?" Spike's eyebrows went up, one further than the other.

"You say something like that, and then you wonder how you and Emma got together; you are so dim sometimes."

"Please more... let me bask in the bleeding wonderful compliments." He rolled his eyes.

"Spike, go get ready, I'll make phone calls so I can miss work again this morning. I'll probably get fired, but I'll go car shopping with you."

"Giles fire.... you, his secret weapon? You know he's secretly in love with you, don't you?" He smirked.

"Shut up." Mia's eyes rolled this time.

"OK, he would never say anything. He's too dignified, you are too young and a vampire, and you work for him so it would be too unseemly. Besides he knows about Xander and he wouldn't want to interfere." Spike's eyebrow arched.

"Please stop mentioning Xander. And you know, if Giles is interested I might consider it: he is everything I look for in a man. Age, wisdom, intelligence, the ability to read books written in another century and another language, can hold his own in a fight, leadership skills and he's sexy too."

The second she said sexy he made a gagging motion.

With his arched brow and his irritating smirk he asked, "Are you speaking of Rupert Giles?"

"Of course, you know my boss."

"But his age, pet."

"But yours."

"Oi."

"You're older then he is."

"Don't look it."

"Guess that's in the eye of the beholder."

"Just what the bleeding hell does that mean?"

"Nothing."

"Are you insinuating I look dated?"

Mia laughed. "Spike, what I am insinuating is sometimes you don't know when to stop. I'll tell you something about Rupert Giles that I do know: there is... a lot more... to him then you or any one realizes. If he were interested, his propriety would never hold him back. And by the way, I do think he is sexy, but I am not attracted to him like that. I do however have the utmost respect for him, so please refrain from maligning his character in my presence again."

"So that's Rupert and Xander....Did you say malign? I hate when you use words like that?" Who can I slam? Pouted Spike.

"You'll just have to throw it out there and hope for the best." Mia gave a short breathy laugh "Now, go get ready because I want to stop by my house to shower and change clothes, as well as pick up some new ones for class."

"Well, we better go now, it takes you forever."

Mia punched him in the arm. "You can play Xbox while you wait, we have Halo."

"See that, what you just said, it was so bloody sweet: you said ...'we'...have Halo, as if you two are a...we."

Mia punched him again harder.