Title: Afterglow33/57

Author: T. Claybourne  (t.claybourne@yahoo.com)

Rating: Rated R most chapters for violence and Language, some are NC- 17 for sexual content

A/N I'd like to thank my Beta Reader Hawera And muses Michelle Branch, Robbie Williams and Evanescence

Afterglow Chapter 33 Zingers

A time for us someday there will be when chains are torn by courage born of love that's free, a time when dreams so long denied can flourish, as we unveil the love we now must hide, a time at last to see, a life worth while for you and me. And with our love, with tears and thorns we will endure as we have surely through every storm. A time for us some day there will be a new world, a world of shining hope for you and me. A time for you and me. Words by Larry Kusik and Eddie Snyder, Music by Nino Rota

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"This Pinot Noir you suggested is good, Spike, kind of smoky. I think I can taste the barrel, it might have been oak."

"Darla used to always drink it but she liked to add blood straight from a victim's ... never mind."

"Has it been weird, being here with your soul?"

"Been bit odd being out during the day. Never bleeding woke before five, those days."

Mia pulled her cigarettes out of her pocket. One advantage to being on assignment, she didn't have to hide the smoking thing. Sure, Xander said he thought he saw her that night, but he wasn't sure and she'd been careful: he hadn't ever seen or been sure since. It was silly, but it was one thing about herself she could keep private from her new Council life and friends. Well, as long as Spike kept his mouth shut: so far he seemed to understand. Mia noticed she was down to two cigarettes. She lit one and inhaled. Sure, it was probably a huge insult to the wine, but really everyone here in Paris was smoking.

Spike pulled his own pack out and crumpled it. "Bugger, I saw a shop around the corner. I'll be back."

"We can go later. Smoke this one."

"Can't wait, pet, they'll all close soon."

Mia dug out her money and started to pull some French francs from her the stack

"I'll get 'em for you," said Spike.

"No. I've got the money out: you'll take it."

"You've been sodding touchy about the money all day, won't let me buy you as much as a cup of coffee. Insisted we had to divide the cost of that bottle there, even though you didn't even know if you'd bleeding like it."

"Why are you complaining? You work just as hard as I do for your money."

Spike rolled his eyes and walked off, her money in his hand.

Mia drank the rest of her glass in one swallow. She knew why she'd been touchy about the money. It differentiated this assignment from a trip together to Paris for pleasure.

All day she had felt strange. The day was gray and overcast: it should have been the absolutely perfect day for her to see Paris. They had gone everywhere, Notre Dame, walked along the Seine, The Eiffel Tower, Champs Elysees, and now they sat in a cafe off the artist square in Montmartre. Mia had always dreamed of coming here. Once even, a long time ago, with Spike. At the Eiffel tower, at the top, she had been about three inches from his face and moved a curl from his forehead. Something had happened inside her at that very moment that was still upsetting her.

Suddenly, everything around her sounded too loud and bright even in the dimming light of dusk. They would be out patrolling for the psycho vamp soon. Mia could see a little lane that led between a house and a large restaurant. She could see deep shadows forming along it. The waiter stopped at the table to ask if they needed anything and Mia told him she was going to go for a quick walk up the lane but to let her friend know and please to leave the table open for them.

She made her way, smiling at the many floor-to-ceiling glass windows of the restaurant to her left. The humans inside looked to her like fish in a bowl. When she got to the point where the shadows seemed deepest the little lane opened up to show the city's lights. You could see out over the city and there sat the Eiffel tower, framed perfectly. Mia looked back at the way she had come and then leaned against the half wall in front of her. She doubted that few tourists got to see this view; it was hidden and literally off the beaten track

Spike returned to the table. Without sitting, he stood looking for Mia. Sunset was beginning and after her attack in Amsterdam he didn't want her on her own after dark. Of course she was extremely stronger than him, but he still wanted to keep an eye on her. The waiter must have seen his concern because he rushed up to him and explained, then pointed him in the direction she had gone. When he came up behind her she was staring at the view, a right nice one of the tower. The restaurant to the left had its outside lights on already and their shine just caught Mia right, one of her curls shone golden red. Spike felt compelled to touch it. She jerked. For some reason this irritated him.

"Bloody hell, woman, what is wrong with you. You have been jumpy all day."

She didn't turn to him. "It's a perfect view, isn't it? The sky is just starting to darken and the lights below slowly coming on, casting a smoky kind of glow across the city. Then, over there as big as anything is the Eiffel Tower"

"It's lovely but..."

"Almost perfect in its own way but it won't stay this way: soon it'll be dark and they will just be lights, not a glow."

"Mia?"

She pulled her coat tight around her as if she were cold and took an unnecessary breath through her nose.

"Did you see that movie, the Butterfly Effect, where he got to go back and fix things that went wrong? Sometimes I wish I could do that."

"If you are on about Sabine again, you did everything you could: you were moments from dust yourself. 'Sides, in that movie when he went back things always got worse until he ended up having to strangling himself in the womb, if I remember rightly"

"In the director's cut, the other one, the one in the theater, he got to live but without that girl of his, so your point is valid, but it's not about Sabine."

"What then?" he asked, his suspicion clear in his voice.

When she didn't answer he took both her shoulders and turned her towards him.

"You'd best tell me right now what you are on about."

Her eyes moved slowly back and forth as if they were searching his for something.

"He was right. I hoped he was wrong, I told myself it was different than with him, well that it would be different because I'm not her and that I loved Xander too much and..."

"Mia, what the bloody hell are you on about?"

Mia shook her head, " It's hard to say, hard to even admit after everything. I shouldn't even think it, it's not really fair of me to do it, or feel it ..."

"Mia!"

She looked up at him a pained look in her eyes, "I love you, Spike. I always have, and the scariest thing is that now I know for sure I always will. And of all things right now I am wondering if we will ever be in this spot or any other as lovers."

Spike didn't say a word. He just stared at her.

Mia felt as though they were trapped in some sort of force field because suddenly things seemed to be spinning around them. She didn't know how she could do this. She loved Xander; he made her feel alive, and worth more than she had ever thought possible. If her turning to dust meant Xander would live happily ever after she'd have Spike stake her right now, but she had just told Spike she thought about having him as a lover again. Spike hadn't said a word and it seemed ages since either of them had spoken.

Spike stood staring at the blue eyes he had sought solace in so many times, and he didn't know what to say.

Mia spoke first. There was a tension in her face Spike hadn't ever seen before.

"Please don't get me wrong: I love Xander. I don't mean for us to be together now or even anywhere near now, I just mean, okay maybe saying lovers was a little over the top, or strong, or, I meant that maybe we could be in... or that we could be as we were, no that maybe..."

"You thought that there might someday be a time for us."

There was a look of relief on her face. "Yes. I mean I know you love Buffy and I love Xander and now isn't right for us but maybe someday it will be. Maybe we can be in love again. " Mia looked off for a moment. "What ever I say makes me sound fickle doesn't it? I shouldn't have said anything to you."

"Let's face it Mia, those we each love now are human, and hard as it is to think on it, that means that compared to us they have a shelf life something akin to bread. We, on the other hand, are more like, I am very opposed to using the word 'Twinkies' in this analogy, but I can't think of anything better."

"How about Zingers? I like those better anyways."

Spike smiled. "Nuclear war can come but there we will still be, a couple of Zingers sitting on the convenience store shelf. Your thinking of a someday, well I'm not sure I'd call it fickle."

He still held her lightly by the sides of her shoulders. He tightened his grip and pulled her into a kiss, a deep passion-filled kiss. His tongue probed her cold mouth and entwined with her tongue. Any one watching would have wondered how they could hold the kiss as long as they did. Spike worked his hands to her back and cradled her. Mia ran her hands through his hair, down his neck and to his black t-shirt-clad chest, resting them there, and then down to his sides to his waist. Spike pulled her closer his hands went under her coat and her tank-top, touching her skin. When at last they separated Mia turned and rested her hands on the half wall, supporting herself.

"So, what did you feel?" asked Spike.

Mia gave a tiny snort. "Nothing, absolutely nothing."

Spike put his hand on the small of her back. "Me too, me too."

Mia turned and walked back to the table. Spike stood a moment, adjusted himself and followed her.

Spike had just lit up a cigarette when Mia leaned across the table. "That can never happen again, as long as either of them live: it's cheating."

"Miss Moral Compass. Do you really think I needed your help to know that?"

Mia smiled. "Not to know, just to remind you."

"Shut up, you started that," snapped Spike

"I was only talking, you started the kissing. Thinking about it all was hard enough, now you threw that in..."

"I couldn't think of the right words to say that I feel the same."

"Right, and you were the poet."

"A bloody awful one."

Mia reached across the table and took his hand and squeezed it, then let go. Her phone rang.

"Damn, he must have a bloody sixth sense"

Mia looked at the caller I.D then answered. "Hello."

"Oh, great, yes, no, could you just text it. In like five minutes, I will be. With my undead life, but you know that, do you always ask me that to irritate me?" Mia laughed. "Later. Ciao."

Mia absently tossed her phone on the table.

Spike grabbed it and looked at the caller Id.

"What the bloody hell is this?"

He shoved the phone at Mia.

"That, Spike, is my phone." She smiled

"Don't bleeding try and be cute. I mean this, the caller I.D. that says that call was from Angel."

"It was." She shrugged.

"Why did he call you?"

"He is texting me the address of a book store he recommends I should visit."

"How's he even known you are here?"

"I told him." She held a hand palms up and shrugged.

"So, you and Capt. Forehead speak often? I heard you say 'do you always ask me that': that suggests a continuous relationship. How long?"

"Since my birthday."

"Xander know about these chats with Angel?"

"Not from me." She shook her head, her brows knit in confusion.

Spike stood up. "So, let me get this: you have been holding conversations with Angel since your birthday, and no one knows? Been keeping all sorts of bleeding secrets, haven't you, Mia?" He threw her pack of cigarettes at her. "Let's go"

He headed out of the square and stood at the top of the stairs just below the cathedral.

"Spike?" Mia followed closely behind.

"The bloody sword, the big insult for me, Angel's gift to you: why did he give it to you?"

"I told you, he and Wes wanted to cheer me up."

"Wes too? Been keeping in touch with that ponce as well?"

"Spike, what in the hell is wrong with you? Why are you so...?"

"Seems funny he would go to all that trouble to find... that... sword when he could send flowers. Exactly how did he find out how depressed you were?"

Mia looked at him, her brows came together with her confusion. "I called him; I guess he figured it out."

"You bloody called him while you were in Bath? You called Angel while you were in Bath? I didn't hear from you once while you were in Bath, nor did Xander. The only one that did was Giles, and that was only because he called you. But you managed to call and speak with that poof."

Spike stormed down the stairs.

"Wait, Spike. I don't understand why you are so ...what is going on with you? We only talk on the phone," Mia said, following behind him. "I called him in Bath about...."

They reached the observation area and he turned on her.

"You know what I think? I think you are lining up other men you can run to once you get tired of Xander. Isn't that what you did when you got tired of me? Angel in L.A. is the perfect bloody candidate for you. In a few months from now he'll be back in the hotel and fighting demons and vampires, just the type of work you like. Then, after a good fight, you two can let your demons out and have a literally bloody good time. Hey, maybe he'll let you set up house in the same suite you and I used to share. You know, actually, now that I come to think of it, you're brilliantly matched. He used to be called the world's deadliest, and you actually are. Think, Mia: you've already put a hole in his heart and he survived: now you can tell him you want to be his lover. Bet he falls for it. He won't care if you cheat on Xander though, not really a problem for his type."

Mia didn't say anything, she just stared at him. Her silence went on for several moments. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then opened them.

"What are you talking about? I tried not to be in love with Xander, remember. I was planning to leave and didn't. I...I..."

Mia stopped as the anger suddenly welled with in her. She had to fight to control her demon from surfacing. She clenched her jaw and glared at him willing her eyes to stay blue and not turn amber. Mia began to walk away but stopped and looked back at Spike.

"Angel?!!... He could never be...." Mia shook her head and clenched her jaw again. "Fuck, Spike." She turned abruptly and quickly walked off her coat flying out behind her.

She disappeared into the crowd.