Written as a Long Stand Alone (Was written so it can be read with out reading the first story).

Sequel to Dream Once More (Archived at the Sand lot)

Author: T. Claybourne  (t.claybourne@yahoo.com)

AU And Crossover

Rating: NC-17 for sexual content but only in a few chapters mostly it is R for language

Pairings: Spike/Buffy Spike/female? Original Character/Male.

Summary: Following his time as a ghost, Spike met and fell in love with a newly empowered Slayer. Although Buffy returned to Los Angeles to find Spike alive, Spike remained with his new love. Together with Buffy and others, they all had to fight against a plot involving Angel, and a group trying to raise the Master with in him. During the fight Spikes love was turned into a vampire by Drusilla but Angel's team was able to put a soul in her. Now changed and not her former self the Slayer left Spike. Buffy consoled him after his loss and they came together. But will their relationship survive when his past love comes into their lives again?

I'd like to thank my Beta Reader Hawera And muses Michelle Brach, Robbie Williams and Evanescence

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( Originally this was written in a font that resembled handwriting, since it is impossible to post here like that please pretend.)

Afterglow Chapter 5 A Different Kind of Normal

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It's weird how that dream about Spike had seemed so real. I was very depressed for the rest of the morning. I headed to the kitchen, my locket in my hand. I had decided that fixing it would be a good way to break the ice with Xander. I wasn't sure if there was any ice between us, but I suspected that there would be. I wasn't wrong. Willow chatted away but Xander just sat silently watching me move around the kitchen, getting my cup of tea. I sat down opposite him and smiled. Putting my locket and chain on the table, I asked.

"Do you think you could fix this for me, Xander?"

"What happened?"

"Guess I did it in my sleep. My landlady's voodoo priestess put a spell on the chain: it's supposed to be enchanted to make it durable, Guess it wasn't so strong that a vamped Slayer couldn't break it."

Willow spoke up right away. "Mia, it wasn't you that broke it, I mean, well, it was, but it wasn't because your strength overcame the spell. It was because any enchanting spell like that doesn't affect the owner. It would provide protection against threats from outside sources."

Willow coming to my rescue, trying to make me feel better made me smile. She hated me finding fault with myself for being a vampire. Sometimes I think Willow would like to be able altogether to forget that I am a vampire. I like to call that "Boating on the River Denial."

"You're most likely right, since you're the expert."

"I'm no expert just..."

"Yes, you are, Will," interrupted Xander. "Just let me go get my needle-nose pliers.

"What's in that locket?" asked Willow.

"My landlady said it was a blessing to keep me safe by keeping my heart from harm. I figured a vampire could use all the protection around its heart it could get."

"Hmmm"

"Willow, don't get any ideas, because she said it would break the blessing's protection if I opened it."

"No, I wouldn't do that. I was just wondering, from a professional standpoint I mean, whether that spell might help Angel and Spike too."

"For some reason I don't think that my landlady and her priestess' blessing was about my physical heart. I don't think she knew I was a vamp. Well, maybe she did, now that I come to think about it; she did make a few peculiar comments. Okay, if you think that it would help, maybe you should see what it is all about."

"You should leave her locket alone, Willow, the lady gave it to her and no-one else," Xander said, as he came back in the room.

"You're right." Willow looked at Xander. "Besides it's probably all a metaphysical blessing anyway."

I didn't like the fact that it took Willow to make me think about the other two souled vampires.

Xander was working on the chain. He stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth while he was twisting the small metal link back into place. It was very cute.

It had gotten very silent.

In an effort to make things seem more normal, for some odd reason I blurted out," Chalk one up for my demon: I didn't give the other two a thought."

Xander looked at me in a funny way and Willow frowned.

"If I remember correctly, what you were doing was not thinking about the other two souled vampires, or anyone else for that matter: you were trying to find yourself", said Giles, who had come up behind us without even me hearing him.

I felt annoyed that he had got past my heightened vampire senses. I told myself it was probably because I was so absorbed in myself.

"Giles, how long were you there?" asked a startled Willow.

"Long enough."

Just then Xander announced that he'd fixed it and handed it back to me. I have no idea why but when our fingers touched, it affected me. No, I'll be truthful, it thrilled me, and that was stupid because I was the one who had laid down the roomie ground rules, so it couldn't go anywhere. I put the locket on and announced that it was as good as new.

I know it was probably my subconscious, but I felt better right away. More at ease and less worried about my strange dream and about the unexpected excitement I had felt at Xander's touch.

I turned to Giles and asked him what had brought him over.

He answered, smiling, "I thought that maybe you and I could take your books and put them into safe-keeping in the vault; go over them, if you aren't busy."

Actually, I had already decided that I didn't want to deal with my feelings for Xander yet, so I said that I would love to. I went and got ready while the others had tea. I had always been really fast at getting ready when necessary, even though when I had been human Spike had made fun of me and given me a hard time about taking forever. I showered, gathered my wet hair up in a ponytail and dressed in a comfy shirt and jeans. It took only fifteen minutes for me to get ready. I grabbed my duffle full of books to take with us. Giles had parked in the garage because it was sunny outside. I climbed in the passenger side and he'd barely started the car when he turned towards me.

"I don't know how to put this, but you look a bit strained. Are you eating enough?

"How did 'strained' become 'hungry'?" I asked, a little put out that he had noticed.

"I can see that you've lost a bit more weight in the last week. If you don't eat enough you may risk..."

"Letting the demon out to munch on the ones you love?" I asked sarcastically, but fearing that was what he really was thinking.

"Yes, blood lust may bring out the demon, but I was also going to mention that starvation has been known to cause the loss of brain function in vampires."

"Great... one more mind thing to worry about."

OK, I will admit that Giles did not survive the First and another eight or so apocalypses, and become the leader of the new Council, by not being perceptive and intuitive.

I only mention this because the first words out of his mouth were, "What do you mean by 'mind things'? Extra-sensory phenomena?"

So I told him the whole story, about the flashes and the dreams. By the time we pulled into the Headquarters of the Watchers' Council I had told him about every time this had happened.

Once we were in his office he sat me down, and offered me tea. When I refused, he offered me blood and thinking of the risk of lost brain function I accepted. He led me into a small kitchen with a fridge which had a small quantity of blood inside. That was a little surreal: the fridge in the Council's kitchen having a jar of pig's blood in it. After heating it, we sat down again and he looked at me very seriously.

"As for your premonitions, it is said that Drusilla also had them. Although Spike has never admitted that he has them, he is very perceptive when it comes to reading people. We really do not know too much of what transpires when a vampire is sired. Perhaps Drusilla passed on her visions to you. The other thing, the vivid dream, that could be an out-of-body experience. Your mind could actually have traveled to the hotel. You were truly there, and you really did see Spike. We could easily confirm that with a phone call."

"No, I want to leave him alone. He has enough to worry about with me showing up as a fixture on his vacation."

"Alright then, perhaps we could do try some meditation to see if you can recreate it."

"I don't want to do that either. Really, I don't want any of this mental crap. Maybe starvation is the way to go."

Giles chuckled. "You know, you should think of these abilities as blessings, but that's what I told Buffy about being a Slayer and she never accepted it either."

"I liked being a Slayer."

"You still are a Slayer."

"Not really, but I get the job done."

"Your feelings of being different are to be expected. It is an awful lot to adjust to, but just take a few moments every night before you go to bed to reflect upon when during the course of that day you have felt normal."

"You mean human."

"No. Maybe I should put it this way: just less different."

Being around Xander and Willow made me feel less different. Xander had even...No I wouldn't think about it, but I had felt human, almost.

Suddenly this conversation made me think how hard it must have been for Spike and Angel when each of them was the only souled vamp around, surrounded by humans none of whom realized how evil the demon inside them was. If the humans had known, none of them would have come near. To them, we weren't those blood–crazed, dangerous, run-for-your-life monsters they had been fighting. But we knew that we were. It pissed me off suddenly, either me or my demon or both of us, and I felt my face morph. I actually growled, but I quickly reined myself in, I didn't want to do that in front of any of these people.

Giles leaned over and pulled me into a hug. This wasn't really like the Giles I knew, and it was a little confusing. I tried to pull back, but he wouldn't let me. I sighed and relaxed into his arms. I hadn't been touched like this in a long time and I was amazed at how good it made me feel. I slowly pulled back and smiled at him.

"Thanks"

"I told you once that you would be accepted, and I meant it. I have seen who you were and who you are now. I'm fine with both. You have to believe in yourself."

I knew he was right and I was working at it, but it was hard, knowing the real evil inside me. The fact was, I was afraid of the demon half of me. I had never used the monster, except in fighting another demon or a vamp. My whole demon had never had free rein and if it did come out....I might never get it back inside.

Giles and I absorbed ourselves in the books, and that was better than any therapy I could buy.

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I was actually hungry when I got home and yes, I thought of it as home now. I went right into the kitchen and drank 4 mugs of blood. I realized I had only been eating what and when I thought I should, not because I was hungry.

Willow and Xander came in less than 30 minutes later. Xander looked at me in a funny way, and then Willow said,

"Ok, what in the H .E double hockey pucks is wrong with you two?"

I looked at Xander and replied, "Nothing. I mean nothing's wrong but the obvious vampire thing with me."

"What are you talking about Willow, nothing is wrong with us." replied Xander.

"Please. You two have been acting strangely around each other: not talking, strange looks and silences."

"Oh that," Xander started." That's probably because I got a bit drunk last night and I ..."

"He stumbled up the stairs and needed help unlocking the door last night."

Xander cocked his head in surprise, but nodded in agreement.

"That's silly, Xander, but I told you when I left that you had had enough."

"I know. I just forget how strong the beer is here."

"Now that's taken care of, I've got a couple of movies. Who's up for a movie night?" smiled Willow.

As much as I wanted to just to be around them, I shook my head. Today's span of emotions had wiped me out, so here I am now writing this.

One thing I did realize today: I have a chance here and that's hope, and hope is real good.

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Mia closed her journal and then took off her locket, not wanting to break it again.

At about 3 am she woke hungry again. She headed for the kitchen, had several mugs of blood, and then went back to bed again. There she immediately began to dream. Images flashed by and before she realized, she was again outside the door to the suite she had once shared with Spike. Mia stood there, willing herself to wake up.