Title: Afterglow 52/57

Author: T. Claybourne  (t.claybourne@yahoo.com)

Rating: Rated R most chapters for violence and Language, some are NC- 17 for sexual content

A/N I'd like to thank my Beta Reader Hawera And muses Michelle Branch, Robbie Williams and Evanescence

Afterglow Chapter 52 To be or Not to be

Mia's sword felt like it had hit a tree. Mot's eyes moved around: he was still alive, just incapacitated. Mia slammed it into him again, this time using all her strength. It lodged in his body, but part of the handle broke off.

"God damn, fucking son of a bitch: I loved that sword and you broke it."

The sword was long enough to have gone through Mot completely and to stick out both front and back. Mia knelt and started to push on the hilt. It moved, but only centimeters. The next thing she knew, Spike and Angel were at either side helping her. Together, all three of them using all their strength, they pushed it through Mot severing his heart and upper torso from the bottom half. Then they all stepped back and looked down at him. Mot's eyes stopped moving and glazed over, an iced white look coming to them. Mia glanced down and saw that the sword had cut her hands, causing them to bleed. She looked down at both Spike and Angel's hands. Mia panicked and grabbed each of them, running her hand across the blood on to them to be sure it wasn't just one of her dreams again.

"Oh no. I was hoping…. I'm sorry."

"S'alright, love."

"No, you don't understand."

Mot's body shifted and the two pieces slid apart: there was an explosion of light, that blew the vampires against the cave wall.

Mia felt the burning immediately inside her. She wondered if this was how it felt to be staked. She looked at the others: their skins were glowing and they seemed to cracking with light.

"The pain……Spike, was it like this?" she gritted out.

"I think your mind trick is making it easier for us."

"If her pain is worse than this..." Angel growled.

Mia was between them. She grabbed each their hands, and they seemed to meld together.

Crying out, she began to say, "At least…" The pain interrupted her and made her cry out aloud, but then she finished, "…..we're together. We can't want much more than that."

The light and pain became so bright and blinding that she screamed again, and then there was only darkness.

~ ~ ~ ~

The air was cold on her cheek. Mia opened her eyes and everything she saw was bright white. Looking around, she saw the legs of a chair, a couch, a table, a marble floor and frosted glass walls. There was no smell and no sound. She jumped up and backed into the coffee table. Jerking around, memories of the pain flashed back into her mind. She tripped over something and falling to the floor she scrambled backwards on all fours until she got to a corner.

Angel heard a noise and felt something hit his legs. He stood and saw Mia crouched in a corner. Looking around, he realized that he was in a white, chrome and glass room. It was furnished with a chair, a couch, a table, a counter with a sink, and a refrigerator. The walls were frosted glass and the floor marble. There was a plasma television was on the wall. He walked over to Mia and gave her his hand.

"Mia."

"Angel, where are we? Did hell look like this?"

"No, definitely not."

"Then where?"

"I don't know."

"Spike?"

"He's lying over there. I think he's unconscious. Can we just let him sleep? At least he will be quiet."

Mia grinned and stood up. "Yeah, I wanted to tell Mot that not even a god could get Spike to shut up, but I had more important things to take care of. Oh Angel, I didn't want to involve you two: you should be…"

"We made our choice, Mia."

"Bloody hell, don't tell me she's on about that again." Spike stood up. "It's a bit white in here, innit? Can't be sodding heaven, Angel's here."

Mia and Angel turned and simultaneously snapped, "Shut up, Spike."

"Could definitely be hell."

"Why didn't our clothes burn, and where are our coats? My locket's gone. This doesn't look like any dimension I've ever read about." As she spoke Mia examined the walls for a way out of some sort.

They all wandered round looking at their surroundings and then Mia sat down and turned on the television. There on the screen were all the others. Mia just stared at the picture as she turned up the volume. Spike saw Buffy and came to sit next to Mia.

~ ~ ~

Both rescue groups were headed towards the cavern. Suddenly there was a heat filled explosion of light that knocked them from their feet.

Buffy got up and started running forward, as did Gunn. Xander had been thrown against the wall and Wesley helped him up.

"Xander, are you all right?"

Xander looked as if he couldn't catch his breath. "We're too late," he said.

"What?"

"She's gone. I felt it."

~ ~

Willow and Giles entered the cavern only moments after Buffy and Gunn. Piles of the smelly mud things were scattered around the cavern. There was something resembling the figure of a man, cut in two with a silver stake in the back of its head. Floating in the air were bits of ash.

Buffy swayed, "Not again."

"Good lord," said Giles, "but why are their coats still here ?" He lifted Spike's coat and dust and ash fell from it as he did so. Next to it lay Mia's and Angel's coats.

Wesley and Xander came up to join them.

"Magic," said Willow. "It must have been some sort of mystical energy."

Xander bent down and picked up Mia's locket, rubbing the ash surrounding it into the skin of his palm.

~ ~ ~

Angel stepped in front of the television. "Turn it off."

"Angel, get out of the way!" demanded Mia.

"I'm with her: move, you ponce."

"Neither of you need to see this."

Mia stood up. "I do. I didn't get to say goodbye. I was caged for five days before the fight. I'm betting that Spike had Buffy every one of those nights. I didn't have Xander, and I need to see this."

"No Mia, you don't. Trust me."

Mia stood up, pulled back and hit him. Angel went flying and hit the glass wall, cracking it. It resealed itself immediately.

She sat back down.

~ ~ ~

Giles went over to Buffy. "It's twice now that I have lost Spike, Giles."

"Well, Buffy, we lost you twice as well."

"That doesn't really make me feel better you know." She leaned against him.

Fred picked up Angel's short leather duster. "I can't believe he's actually gone."

"Senior partners will be pissed," said Gunn.

Lorne stepped forward. "My pancake breakfast pals, I'm sorry in all the rush I forgot to…..

~ ~ ~

Angel ripped the TV off the wall and propped it on the floor.

"For fuck sake, Angel!" Mia yelled, then she sat silent for a moment staring at him. "That was such a Spike thing to do!"

"Oi, sitting right here."

"Well, he would have thrown it and broken it but…"

"Bloody still sitting right here."

Angel stared at her, a contemplative look on his face, and then smiled. "It was, wasn't it."

Mia jumped over the back of the couch, and headed to the refrigerator.

"What, now you're too bleeding good to walk around the furniture, like the rest of us?"

Angel followed her.

She looked in the refrigerator. "No blood, but I'm not hungry. You'd think I would be after everything. Cool, check it out."

She pulled out a Coka-Cola. "You know, it's been forever since I had one of these."

"I never have, I've always avoided it," said Angel.

Mia pulled another one out the fridge. She started looking for glasses.

" You two act like I'm not even sodding here. I kill the blighter, same as them; burn up, not once mind you but twice, and what do I get? Bloody ignored."

Mia looked at Angel and rolled her eyes, trying hard to hold back a laugh. "My Grandma always insisted we drink pop from glasses. Grandpa used to get so frustrated with her. He'd sit in his chair, crack open a can and start drinking from one just to irritate her. He'd put it on the coffee table without a coaster too, but that's a whole different story."

While she was talking she had pulled ice out of the freezer, put it in glasses from the cupboard and poured the Coke over it.

She handed a glass to Angel and sat at the table, where he joined her. She watched him take a drink.

"Not bad. " On his second swallow, he smiled. "I think I like it."

Mia took a drink and sighed. "That tastes so good. I haven't had a real Coke since I was like 13. I used to drink diet because I didn't want to get fat, then once I was became a vampire and I didn't need to worry about it I didn't like it any more. Wait, I didn't like the taste. OK that's weird, and so is the fact Coke would even be here. I mean, why not Pepsi?"

Spike walked over. "Everything about this sodding place is weird." He looked in the refrigerator.

"Balls, no beer. There's Coke, Sprite and sod else in the way of soft drinks, but no beer."

" I'll pour you a Coke too." Mia smiled at him.

He started going through the cupboards. "Not even a bleeding ounce of booze anywhere. It's hell, I knew it, its hell."

Mia looked at Angel, one of her eyebrows lifted and he gave her a questioning look back.

With a huge grin, Mia said sarcastically, "Yes, Spike, this is your own personal hell. In a few minutes Angel and I are scheduled to have sex on the couch."

"We are?"

"Bollocks. I'll knock you out before that happens." Spike's eyes narrowed.

Mia stood up, her hands on hips. "I'd like to see you try."

"Mia, I'd prefer you be bruise free for our tryst."

Mia looked back at a smiling Angel.

She looked at Spike, her face sober. "You know sometimes you… nevermind." Mia sat back down and took a drink. She looked over at Angel and smiled, "I was kidding, I couldn't, not with…"

"Xander." finished Angel. "I'm not an idiot." He glanced at Spike. "Besides, like you said, we're not…" He stopped as he saw her put her face in her hands.

"I am, I'm an idiot, the idiot." said Spike as he watched her.

"I'm not going to contradict you," returned Angel.

Spike put his hand on her shoulder.

Mia put her head back up wiping a couple of tears. "I thought we established this position thoroughly in Paris."

Spike gave her a smile. "We did, but I forgot with all this burning up… again and ending up in some strange white room with Angel and no booze." Mia looked past Spike, confused. "What the…" She pointed to the wall where the television had been replaced. It was turned on and there was text displayed on it.

The three of them walked up to it and Mia started reading the words out loud. "It is written, the vampire with a soul will be made human. Only one shall be. But, there are three. Only one can be. So, amongst you, decide who it must be. The decision must be completely of all three, or none shall be."

Mia's eyes narrowed. "Spike, please tear that thing off the wall and break it. No, wait." She jumped up off the couch again, ripped down TV and threw it into the glass wall. The set exploded and the wall cracked again. They all watched as the wall repaired itself. Mia paced in front of the couch and coffee table.

"Choose? Fuck! They want us to make a unanimous decision about something like that? They fucking want me to choose, choose between which of you two become human. Shit how can they?! That was not an apocalypse. Stupid prophecies, always wrong!" She picked up the coffee table.

Spike stepped in front of her. "Although this table appears to be solid steel, pet, the self repairing walls will make destruction minimal."

Spike was reaching to calm her and she shoved the coffee table towards him. While he put the coffee table down she smashed her fist into the wall. The cracks spread through the entire wall floor to ceiling. Mia pulled back her fist. It was covered with blood and she laughed, a nervous laugh bordering on hysteria. The wall mended itself. Angel went to her and took her hand: Mia fell against him.

"It's healing already. Come on, we'll wash the blood off to be sure." As he ran her hand under the water, Spike paced.

Angel dried her hand and looked at her. "Mia, the wound from the torch in the fight, how is it?"

Mia pulled up her shirt and found that the wound was fully healed. "How did that happen? That should have taken at least a couple of days."

Spike came up, and with the very tips of his finger he touched where the wound would have been. "It's as if it never happened. Our lot heals fast, but even a few days from now it should still be pink and have a slight scar."

Angel said, "Whether or not your wound is healed, you're tired." He led her to the couch. "Lie down. You don't have to think about anything right now. You're exhausted. You were a captive for five days, then there was the fight, and of course dealing with Spike is enough to wear anyone out."

That got a small smile from her.

"With everything that's happened to you, even our kind need rest. We'll talk when you wake up," he told her.

It didn't take long before she was overcome by sleep and her breathing stopped. Angel brushed her hair back from her face.

Spike stood behind the couch above them. "She's got so much bloody strength it's easy to forget she's vulnerable else where."

"Was Emma like that?"

"Emma was one of the strongest women I've ever known, except maybe for Buffy. That time Buffy showed up in Los Angeles, Emma was different then: she seemed less in control."

" Less Control? She seemed to be in enough control when she sank that stake into my chest."

Spike grinned, "That was when I woke up and realized that I wanted to be with her."

"I'm so glad I could be of help."

Spike walked to the table and sat down, Angel following.

"No, it wasn't just because it was you, it was what she did. It was something like I would do but more subtle and…" "Inventive."

Smiling, Spike replied. "Exactly. Also the fact that Emma could go that far meant that she had accepted herself and her power, and that meant something to me. It was that and a paper she wrote on knightly love that convinced me I needed to be with her." He glanced at the couch and was quiet for a moment, then he sighed. "The professor wrote on that paper, `your essays always read like stories'. Emma was always such a good student, she loved University."

"You know it should be her that goes back."

Spike glanced back at the couch again. "Yes, but I know her and getting her to agree will take pulling her fangs out."

"Why?"

"She won't think she deserves it."

"But..."

"She bloody well didn't think she deserved to be in love with Xander."

"So we will convince her and if we can't we will hold her down and beat her into submission."

"One problem mate."

"What's that?"

"You saw her fight today and last time I counted there were only two of us."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mia woke and lay looking at the wall. She could hear the boys talking heatedly but in quiet tones: their consideration for her made her smile.

"Buffy beat Glory up, and then she jumped from the tower. You did nothing at all to help with ending that one."

" It is not my sodding fault a demon was up there with a huge dagger, cut me and threw me off the tower before I could save little sis."

"Buffy did it."

"Fine."

"Now the mayor, we …"

Mia sat up. " Buffy led the snake demon into the school, right into the explosives where they were ignited. Buffy did that too."

"Yeah," said Spike

"There was The Master…." started Angel.

"That Buffy pushed through a sky light and killed," continued Mia as she stood and walked to them.

"Admit it, you two, it was Buffy who prevented every major apocalypse except The First. That was mostly Spike but only because he was able to shut down the Hellmouth with that damn amulet. Of course it could have been Angel. He wanted to do it but Buffy told him to go to get ready reserve forces in L.A. Buffy just chose a different champion that day."

"Jasmine: I exposed and killed Jasmine."

"I'll give you the exposure portion of that. The kill was your son Connor's, wasn't it? That's what Wes told me. He said that all came out after Connor came to the firm for help and that whole major glamour you had done was revealed. Of course, none of it would have started if you hadn't slept with Darla after Drusilla had sired her."

Angel looked away briefly.

"You're kidding," laughed Spike. "That's how the whole Connor thing happened? You slept with Darla while you had your soul? Well, you dog, was it as good as you remembered?"

Mia slapped Spike in the back of the head.

"My point is that there is no need to try to add those things up. Buffy won every time, and since she's already human it's all moot. I've given it a lot of thought, and although I found it very difficult to reach a decision I think it all comes down to this. Angel, you didn't seek your redemption until a hundred years after you got your soul. Spike started seeking redemption even before he got his. He started struggling with the conflict between man and demon and he made the decision to change. And I know that you will say, Angel, that he did it for Buffy but if you are honest you sought redemption for her too. So I choose Spike."

Both of them stared at her.

"Dinn't really see that coming," said Spike.

"I did," replied Angel.

"You think it's because of our past," commented Mia.

"A little bit, although you explained your choice well. I knew you'd do this because you have this thing about making him happy: always have and always will."

"I don't think that's true." Mia's eyebrows knit together. "I try daily to make him miserable."

"That's true " Spike agreed.

Mia slipped in the chair across from Angel, who said:

"You didn't move to Manchester because?"

"Buffy blackmailed me."

"With what?"

"Fine. I get your point on that."

"Buffy came to town in L.A., and what did you do?"

"That was Emma."

"Bloody tired of you lot acting like I'm not here."

"Spike wants to steal a quarter of a million dollar car and what do you do?"

"You let me."

"Spike acts like an ass while you are leaving Amsterdam and what did you do for him?"

"I was pissed: I didn't do anything for him."

"And in Paris, during the fight with the creature, who did you chose?"

"I would have saved you."

Angel nodded.

"In the cave, who did you try to embarrass into leaving?"

"You didn't have to give a point by point example, I knew what you meant." Mia looked directly at Spike, her eyes never leaving his. "You said it yourself, Angel, that day we bought the cars. You told me that I loved him and that I always would. You were right: I do love him, I always will. Of course I want him happy and I always will." Mia turned to Angel. "But that isn't what this is about. This is about one of you having a second chance at being the man you could have been. Do you think I don't want that for you too? I want you happy as well: have I ever done anything to make you think otherwise? I would love to be able to walk off hand in hand to wherever it is we get to go after this with Spike, but I guess that one way of looking at that is that I choose to do that with you." "Won't happen with either of us, love."

"I told you not to call me that, it isn't right since… you know why. You didn't get hit on the head during the fight and forget, did you?"

"Explain those reasons for our choice to me again, Peaches. They suddenly got fuzzy."

"What? What reasons?" asked Mia.

"Our choice is you," stated Angel.

"Oh no, I'm not going back: no mortal coil for me, I've had enough of that shit. I've died three times now: not wanting a fourth. And Spike, if you say some crap about it's because I don't think I deserve it, you are getting a lovely broken jaw, just like I gave that vamp in Paris. I do deserve it. I am so special and perfect, the embodiment of good, a perfect Mary Sue, I save puppies and kittens and their owners but I DO NOT WANT IT."

Spike stood and looked at her. "What about Xander?"

"What about Buffy?"

"That is not a sodding answer."

"Fine. We do not know how this works. I might not go back as an adult, or to England. I might end up in the 1800's. And Spike, if you do go back and end up in 1880, do not go to that party or tell that woman anything: or if you do, at least carry a stake for later. And please try to remember that saying yes to dark haired attractive women who seem to know what you're thinking doesn't always work out for you."

Mia motioned around the room, then patted her hand on her chest. "I'm a case in point and then there is you-know-who, who I didn't get to stake in Prague. But anyways, what I'm just trying to say is that I have no idea if I will end up with Xander. I love him but NO! I'm not going. You might as well start to re-think your decision. I'll listen to any arguments about which of the two of you is going back, but anything about me, forget it. We will never agree and that way none of us will go. And you know what? If that means I don't have to go then I'm alright with it."

Spike walked over and grabbed her by her shoulders, staring in her eyes.

"Love, I want this for you. You can go back to the way you were before you met me. Start your studies again, be a real girl."

"I want it for you too, Mia."

Mia pushed Spike away.

"I said quit calling me, love. Go back to the way I was before? Great, thanks so much. Go back to being the nerd, the one who was always made fun of, the one who was whispered about in college because I was so young? The professors went out of their way to be nice tome because they knew I had hardly any friends: no family, no friends, just my books. Would I still have my Slayer powers? Can you imagine going back powerless? But if I do go back as a Slayer my life expectancy shortens. No, I don't want it. Please understand this: I didn't ask to be made a vampire but that day in the warehouse I gave up; I was willing to let go, accept death and now I'm closer to it than I've ever been. I want what comes next after this place. Both of you were given a bait to switch to the vampire gig. Who knows if Liam would have grown up and straightened out? William might have risen above that society crap and got over the rebuff. Neither of you were given that choice. I made mine that day; one of you needs to be given that choice. So if you can agree on one of the two of you, I'll agree to it: if you don't , no one goes."

"There is an alternative," said Angel

"Might be the only way."

Mia's eyes narrowed. "Alternative?"

Angel crossed his arms over his chest. "The one where we beat you into submission."

"Pffft."

"He's serious, pet."

"If you think…."

Spike stood with his shoulders back, head just a bit to the side. "Know you may be stronger: I saw you go "Matrix" on Mot but, Mia, I trained you, and trained with you. I know how and when you move, and there are two of us. Angel, well you haven't fought him but maybe you remember my bruises the first night you and I met: they were courtesy of our very own grandsire."

Mia thought for a moment. Then she walked to the couch and threw it upside down. "I know we are supposedly past being just undead and are now dead, but what do you think would happen if I staked you?"

"What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Furniture often has wood framing and braces." She walked to the chair and flipped it over. "Damn it, they thought of everything didn't they? Not even a scrap of wood." Mia started to check her pockets.

Angel started to laugh.

Mia looked at him. "Stop it, I'm serious."

"No, you're not. Just hit him and get over it."

Mia who was standing between the couch and the chair picked up the coffee table and swung it lengthwise at Spike who tried to duck but wasn't fast enough. It caught him on the shoulder and head, and laid him out cold on the floor.

"Feel better?" asked Angel

"I will." Mia swung through with the table, knocking Angel out too.

Mia sat down, giggling briefly. Okay, maybe that was a bit extreme but it shut them up. Her demon had been let out all the way today and it had wanted to stay and play a while longer, or at least that's what she'd tell them when they woke up. She put her head down on her arms and drifted off to sleep.

Mia woke up to feel warmth on her hand, and opened her eyes. Sunshine. She jumped up and flew down a couple of stairs to a shadow.

Looking around, she recognized her surroundings: she was in the lobby of the Hyperion. On the floor lay Spike and Angel….naked. Angel lay prone but Mia smiled when she saw Spike. He was face up, and she hadn't seen him like this in what seemed a very long time. He looked just as good as she remembered. She felt a chill and looked around, confused.