Title: Afterglow 55/57
Author: T. Claybourne (t.claybourne@yahoo.com)
Rating: Rated R most chapters for violence and Language, some are NC- 17 for sexual content
A/N I'd like to thank my Beta Reader Hawera And muses Michelle Branch, Robbie Williams and Evanescence
It's time to let you go; it's time to say Goodbye
No more excuses; no more tears to cry
There's been so many changes; I was so confused
All along you were the one; all the time I never knew.
I want you to be happy; you're my best friend
But its so hard to let you go now; all that could have been
I'll always have the memories; she'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing;
Just when you don't want it
I won't give up... I won't give in...
I can't re-create what just might have been,
I know that my heart will find love again
Now is the time to return,
Throw away the chains,
Let love find a way
Till love comes again,
I'll be OK!
Can't go on forever, baby;
I can't go on forever, baby,
Can't go on forever,baby yeah......
I'll Be OK.
Amanda Marshall
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Afterglow Chapter 55 Everything's Changed
Mia looked over the café's rail at the beach. She glanced inside and saw Buffy was on her way out, carrying two coffees.
Buffy sat down, handing Mia a cup.
"I love it when we get an outside table here," smiled Mia.
"Me too. The ocean view is so great at this cafe. It's even better out here. Hard to believe we are a few minutes from downtown."
"I'll miss this, the sun and ocean: well, the two together at the same time. I mean because in London there is no ocean, but sometimes, on occasion, there is sun. I remember that I had to run to the car covered more than I liked and I didn't get to ride my Harley as much as I wanted to when I lived there."
"It's kind of cool that Giles saved your motorcycle; he was really an optimist all those years. And now you'll get to ride any day you want. It worked in your favor too, him selling the car. You've got all the money that he invested for you over the last ten years. You're practically rich."
"I am smiling about all of it: see the big smile." Mia pointed to a smile on her face. " And between you and me, I think Giles enjoyed the status with his neighbors of him having and riding that Harley. You don't actually think it just sat in his garage for ten years, do you? Buffy, if you ever act even remotely like, who Giles, he did what? I will say one word: Ripper. So….what's up? Why are we here?"
Buffy coughed on the coffee she was swallowing. "How do you know about Ripper? Oh never mind, and why does something have to be up? I can't want to have coffee with a friend the day before she leaves?"
"Buffy, in the last six months we have been to this place five times and each time it involves some major issue. The first one was, how we could be friends again. So spill it."
"I am almost at the deadline Spike and Angel gave me to decide, and I still don't know what to do. I love them both. I thought maybe you could help since you told me you once loved two men at the same time."
Mia looked off at the ocean. She shook her head. "My situation wasn't quite the same but even if I could understand how you feel, I couldn't help. I can't. I can't help with this."
"Mia? Look at me. Oh my, you aren't going back to London just because you still have Slayer powers, and want to teach, are you? "
Mia looked Buffy in the eyes. "No."
"You're in love?"
"Yes."
Buffy looked confused. "I had not even an inkling of an idea. You haven't seemed like it. You haven't said a word. How could you not say anything? I am always talking about Spike."
"You are making assumptions, aren't you? I actually spend most of my time with…."
Buffy's eyes got wide as she interrupted. "Angel? Are you saying…?"
"I'm not saying which one. You won't know, so you that can't let that influence your decision. The one you choose has to be the one you want, your one true and forever love. It wouldn't be fair to him any other way. The only thing I might say that may help is this: if an arrow was headed for his heart, which one would you just automatically and instinctively step in front of?"
"You do know I am the therapist, right? It is not fair when you get all wise woman on *me*."
"Stop it. I have been systematically trying to shed that whole perfect persona. You know I smoke, right? I'm a smoker here in non- smoking, health conscious, L.A. Yes, I do know that it is unhealthy and that now that I am human it could kill me, but I have decided that with my luck they will come up with a way to bring me back, so I don't fucking care."
"You drink and swear too. You are a regular bad ass with a history degree. Shit, you finished over a year of credits in six months. You are such a B…I…T…C…H," Buffy spelled the last word out as she teased Mia.
"Insult aside, look what you just did. I publicly announced some of my negative points and you cancelled them out by saying that I finished my degree so fast."
Buffy laughed, "You and the Mary Sue thing. Xander told me all about it. Speaking of Xander…."
"We were not."
"I am. He and Diana are…"
"If you say they are having problems after what you just discovered about me, I am hitting you."
"Violent response: definitely in the `not' column. And they aren't."
Mia grinned, "I don't have columns any more. I'm doing the rewrite. But what about Xander and Diana?"
"They are coming up to say goodbye."
"Sheesh, will that man ever just….? He does these little visits to torture me."
"That's a possibility. I don't thinks so though, he figured out that you lied that first night and now he feels compelled to, I don't know, check up on you. But you like seeing him too. Admit it."
"I do, now after…now that it's easier. But really Xander should be checking up on you. You are the one dragging two men around by their nostril hairs. Me, I just mind my business, do my homework and plan my trip back to London and the Council."
"Nostril hairs? Did you say nostrils hairs?"
"You wanted me to say pubic hairs," Mia laughed.
Buffy's mouth opened partially.
Mia cocked her head and lifted a brow. "What? If those two specimens were hoping it was me to choose one of them, I'd be pulling them around by something other than any portion of any of their hair."
Buffy shook her head and laughed.
"Wait," Mia grinned. "Tell me that is exactly what part of their anatomy you are pulling them around by, Buffy. My respect for you will increase oodles."
"Mia, you are…" Buffy gave a little chuckle as she rolled her eyes.
"Still a Slayer and still a little insatiable."
Buffy looked serious for a moment then grinned. "I say that when Xander gets here we torture * him * by telling him that."
Mia smiled, "Ok… no, I couldn't. I'm glad things didn't change with him and Diana. That's the only reason I lied."
"I know."
Mia looked out to the ocean. "Loving more than one man at a time really sucks, doesn't it?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Buffy and Mia came through the front door of the hotel.
"You aren't even embarrassed a little?"
"No."
"Please Mia, what if they knew you said it? If it were me, I would die."
"I could care less. Buffy, why do you have a problem with this? Wait, you want me to be embarrassed? What is this, are you planning blackmail?"
Buffy looked away.
"Aha, you were. You wanted to blackmail me. Well no way. I dare you to tell them." Mia stopped and put her hand on her hip.
"No."
"So if you were trying to blackmail me, and I didn't give in, you would have done what?"
"Nothing."
Mia narrowed her eyes. "Is that what you would have done the last time you tried to, that time in London?"
Buffy looked at her feet. "Yes."
Mia shook her head. "And I always thought between the two vampires there it was Spike who was the idiot."
Fred gave a little laugh from behind the counter.
"What the bloody hell did you just say?" Spike's voice came from the top of the stairs.
"He was, and he may not be a vamp now but he still is. Mia, never doubt yourself like that." Angel's voice came from his office.
Buffy gave a laugh, "I am going to so miss hanging out with you, Mia. I love how you wreak havoc with a single sentence everywhere we go."
"Me too," said Fred. "You always make us laugh. By the way, Giles called. He said not to forget to bring…."
"Bloody Watcher calls here practically twice a day. You'd think she'd never made the trip before," Spike complained as he joined them.
Fred looked Spike in the eye. "Just tell her you don't want her to leave, and quit griping about everything to do with her trip."
Wesley came out of the office and stood behind Fred. Angel's voice followed him. "Girl's got your number, Spike."
"Bloody hell. You get one psychologist in the bunch and they all think they are. You lot need to mind your own business." He stormed off into the garden.
"Well, he told us," said Gunn, who had just come in the front door. He came and joined the others.
Buffy glanced at Mia after the exchange. She couldn't read the emotion there so it didn't help her any with her new knowledge.
Angel came out of the office. "Is the griping working for him?"
Mia smiled, her eyes softening. "No, so you don't need to start too."
Buffy's eyebrows came together as she watched this.
"Ok, but if you decide it is then…"
"I'll let you know."
Wesley spoke, "You do know that we could very much use your Slayer strength here. We have one to use in a pinch, but as she so often says that she wants to have a regular life now that there is another younger Council-paid Slayer to kill demons here in L.A."
"A regular life she deserves," said Buffy, raising her eyebrows.
He added, "In addition to that, we will all miss you." "I think we have covered this before. This is what I wanted to do before I was made a vampire. Besides, like Spike, I have a little of that bad penny syndrome: I'm always turning back up."
Angel chuckled, "Maybe if we are lucky, when we all came back as humans you kept the syndrome, but Spike didn't."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mia was talking with Fred when Xander came in. Fred made excuses and vanished.
"Where's Diana?"
"Emma's sick: it's not serious, but she just wasn't up to the drive."
Mia walked up closer to him. "You shouldn't have come on your own."
Xander tilted his head to the side a bit. "Why not? You are leaving for London tomorrow, right? I wanted to say goodbye, and talk. We should go somewhere more private. Should we go to your room?"
"I don't think so. We aren't going to be that alone." Mia headed toward the garden.
"Why? You don't think I can behave myself?"
Mia turned to him as she opened the door. "No, it's me I'm worried about behaving."
Xander grinned.
They sat together on the bench. "This is where we were on your first night back, the night you lied to me."
"Yes."
"I get why you did it, Mia. It did make it easier at first. But now, knowing you are here, sometimes I think of something you said, or like the other day… I smelled chocolate chip cookies baking and ….I love Diana so much, but then it's …"
"I know what it is. I've felt it. It's hard to love two people at the same time, knowing you would never hurt the one you are with, but still yearning sometimes for the other. I'm so sorry you have to suffer it. I can tell you it gets easier: the fact that I'll be further away will help too."
"Buffy called and told me you are leaving because you are in love with one of * them *. Is it true?
Mia rolled her eyes. "She shouldn't have said anything. I'm not sharing that with you, Xander."
"All I was going to say is that whoever it is, they deserve a chance to know. Don't run from it. We didn't have that much time together, but it would have been longer if we hadn't wasted so much of it with doubts."
Mia and Xander talked a while longer and then she walked him to his car. She hugged him, then pushed herself back from him.
"I love you, Xander." She cocked her head. "No passion there, just the love."
He smiled. "I love you too, Mia."
She walked back into the hotel and out into the garden for a cigarette. Before long she walked in again, and called Giles.
"Giles, I'm not coming. Everything has changed."