Rating: PG-13

Email: cyndyr298@yahoo.com or snow_whte@hotmail.com

Authors: Cyndy and Sara

Pairing: S/D, A/F

Spoilers: Season Five through "Tough Love." A.U.

Summary: Set in 2004. Dawn sets out to trap for our favorite blonde vampire.

Disclaimer: All of the characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No profit was received from this story.

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"So, what did you want to talk to me about, princess?" Angel asked, shutting the door to his room.

"Uh. Well, that is, uh... "

Angel watched her as her cheeks grew cherry red. "You can talk to me about anything, Dawn. Whatever you have to say can't be that bad."

"Yeah. Guess so." She still stood there looking flushed and flustered.

Angel walked over and sat on his bed looking up at her in bemusement. She crossed her arms and then uncrossed them and then fidgeted with the ring on her finger. "Come on. Spill."

"I want to have sex with Spike." Dawn blurted out. Angel blinked as if to say 'that's nice, thanks for sharing'. "That didn't come out right. I want to... you know. But I'm afraid to, because of, well, you know."

"Know?" Angel said, delighting in her obvious naivete and charming embarrassment. He grinned wolfishly. "What ARE you talking about, princess?"

"Don't look at me like that. You know what I'm talking about!"

"Let me guess. You want to know about the vampire birds and the bees?"

"Umm. Yeah, that sums it up." She bit her lip.

"Shouldn't you ask Buffy about that?"

"Do you think I'd get a straight answer?"

"Fair enough. But you're in luck, I'm a good teacher." He slid his eyes over her, mostly because he couldn't help himself. She was so fun to tease.

Dawn stood straighter, holding her ring out in front of her like a shield. "Not asking for a demo, just some info."

"Of course. You're going to be an 'old married lady' now."

"Hey! I'm much younger than you, Mr. Old and Undead."

Angel didn't rise to her bait. He simply patted his knee. "Come here, little girl."

She looked at him skeptically. "Why? There's nothing wrong with my ears. I can hear you just fine over here, old man."

"Sit." He said. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "What's wrong? Are you afraid of me?"

"As if." Dawn's lips thinned but she walked over to the vampire warily. Just before she sat down, she looked over her shoulder. "Are you sure you aren't Angelus?"

"If I were, you wouldn't be standing right now." Angel smiled silkily.

She frowned. Then where would I be? "Ohhhh!" She blushed. "I mean. Ewwww! Right." She sat down on the very end of his knee, supporting most of her weight on her own legs. She was tensed to bolt out of the room. Angel would have none of it. He grabbed her and pulled her back against his chest. "That's better."

"If you say so." It was clear that she wasn't as unaffected by his presence as she would have him believe.

Angel's voice sounded in her ear. It was thick and raspy. "I'm going to repeat myself. So, what did you want to know, princess?"

"I'm mostly worried about what to expect."

"Like what?"

She gestured to her neck. "Biting, for one."

Angel moved to the unblemished side of her neck. For a second, he allowed himself to imagine what his mark would look like there. "You didn't like it?"

"I didn't say that. It's just, well-"

"Strange?"

"Exactly."

Angel put his mouth against her neck and put his tongue over her vein, licking slightly before he bit her lightly with his straight, even teeth. He sucked at the skin before he let go. "Did that feel bad?"

Dawn's eyes fluttered close. "Uh, no. Not exactly." Then, she felt guilty.

"See. You shouldn't be worried about that. I know you're a Slayer, but it's okay to allow yourself to enjoy it. It's supposed to feel good. Just make sure that he never takes too much blood."

"'Kay." She leaned back against, squirming a little in his grasp. She realized that this would probably be the last time he would ever touch her this way. "Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing?"

Angel wrapped his arms around her waist. "Only you can decide. Are you sure you want to marry him?"

She thought about Spike and their future together. "Yes, I do."

Angel turned her to face him. "Dawn, do you love me?"

Dawn met his eyes. "Yes, I do. But not as... I don't know. It's just different between us. It's not like Spike and I."

"I get that." Angel nodded wisely. His eyes sparkled with mischief. "I just love flirting with you. It'll be hard to stop."

She sighed. "And I'm going to miss this. Just a little bit."

"Me too." Angel said sincerely.

"I think we could still flirt though." She really did enjoy him. "Nothing wrong with that. Just to keep Spike in line, of course."

"God knows it'll piss Spike off. And that's still fun."

"Can we flirt an extra amount when I'm mad at him? Like if he doesn't remember my birthday or something."

"Works for me. And Dawn?" He smiled. "Trust me, he'll remember your birthday. The vamp's nuts about you."

"I know. I guess I'm just irresistible to vamps. I'm like bloodsucker catnip." Her lips twitched.

"And so modest." He ran a hand through his hair. "But I think I'm Slayer catnip. After all, three of 'em have had the hots for me."

"Whatever." But she smiled. "So, what's gonna happen to you, Angel? Are you going to go on one of those broody binges?" She didn't want to lose her devilish partner in crime.

"Nah, I'm done with that." He grinned, teasing. "You're not the only Slayer in the world."

"Buffy's married." She wanted him to say it.

"But Faith's not." He gave her a small smile.

"Good. I was beginning to think I'd have to lock you in a room together."

"That shouldn't be necessary." His face became tight. "Not that I could offer her much."

"How can you say that?" She put a hand on his face. "You're so handsome and intelligent. Not to mention sexy."

"You want me, don't you?" He sucked his cheeks in, trying to look like one of those sexy male underwear models. Angel wanted to avoid the painful topic.

"Get over yourself." She retorted. " I meant what I said though. Sex is not everything."

"Spoken like a true virgin."

"Hey!" She scowled, then her eyes brightened. "Hey! Faith said the same thing. You two are a lot alike. And I may be the virgin here, but there are other things that you can do together."

"Maybe." He said thoughtfully. "We'll see what happens." He had clearly finished with the topic for now.

"Spoilsport."

"I know." He ran his thumb over one of her curved eyebrows. "So, how are you going to pay for this wedding of yours?"

"I don't know." She said. "Spike's never been big with the investing thing. Buffy just borrowed money for her wedding. And Faith is kinda tapped out. Do you think Giles would help?"

Angel let out a snort of laughter. "I'm sure Rupert would love to fund an event where you promise yourself to a demon forevermore."

"You have a point there." She thought a moment. "Maybe we'll just have a long engagement and raise the money over time.

"Or you could let me pay for it."

"Really?" She said. "But you hate spending money."

"Not when I spend it on those I love." He shrugged. "Besides, Spike is my childe. I'm sort of the Father of the Groom." He caught her eye. "But it's you I'm doing it for. What do you say? Would you let me pay for your wedding?"

"Thank you, Angel!" She squealed, throwing herself into his arms for a big hug.

Two months later...

"No more, Slayer! No more!" Spike pleaded. "Have some pity."

"Never! You've had this coming for years!" She gave him more.

Spike was breathing heavily, obviously in pain as he choked out. "Just stake me already!"

"No, this is much more fun." She shoveled another piece of cake into his mouth and watched as he stuffed it down his throat. It was the fifth cake he had tried today. Buffy had insisted they sample the wares of every catering service in L.A. "What do you think of it?" She whipped out her checklist.

"I don't bloody know. It's soddin' white cake with white frosting, the same as the other fifty cakes I've tried."

"Yes, but did you like it?"

"No." Spike said mutinously.

"Then, I guess we'll have to try another one. I want to give Dawn a complete list to choose from. "

"No! Anything but that! I love it! MMMMMM. Gooooooooood. Yummy!" He rubbed his enlarged stomach and then groaned. " Let's get this cake. Please, Slayer? I'm on my bloody knees."

"Fine." She signaled for the catering assistant. "Could you give us some samples of your European Fantasy and Belgian Delight to go? I'd like the bride to try them too."

The man nodded and went back to retrieve the cake.

"I really hate you, Slayer." Spike said, swallowing. He took a swig of his beverage, leaving a ring of milk around his mouth.

"The feeling's mutual." It was said without rancor. The two of them had achieved an uneasy peace in the past few weeks. Their common interest was Dawn and they decided to put their differences aside for the most part. They still kept bickering though, mostly out of habit.

"I'm just glad you're not picking out the wedding music, Wind Beneath my Wings woman."

"It was part of the spell!"

"Whatever you say." It was clear he didn't believe her. "Why can't Dawn do this, anyway?"

"You know she hates this kind of thing. Besides, I'm the wedding expert after planing my own."

"We should just order the most expensive one."

"Expensive doesn't mean it's better."

"I know. But Peaches is paying for it anyway. Who gives a bloody damn anyway? Cake is cake. The way you're prattling on about it, you'd think we're trying different types of blood."

The man came back with the samples. Her eyes were filled with malicious intent. "You know what, Spike didn't get to try your whipped cream icing. Can you bring us a slice with that on it?"

Tears came to Spike's eyes but he blinked them away. He reminded himself that he was doing this for Dawn. "Bring me another shot of milk, mate. I'm gonna need it."

Angel and Spike stood in the middle of the tuxedo rental place. "I guess we'd better get this over with." Spike said. "Though, if you weren't such a cheapskate, you'd buy me one."

"You'll only wear it one time." Angel said, rolling his eyes. "Just go and pick one out. And remember, Dawn wants a black one with a red cummerbund."

"Yes, sir, poof, sir." Spike said under his breath. He looked behind himself and saw Riley and Giles picking out their choices readily. Spike walked to a rack and gingerly picked up one. It was white. He put it back down as quickly as possible. He then spotted a row of black ones across the room and made his way over to it.

Unfortunately, he was intercepted by a salesman. The man put himself in Spike's path. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, you can. By getting out of my bloody way."

"He's a salesman, Spike." Angel said, coming up behind him. He put a restraining hand on his childe's shoulder. Spike didn't suffer fools gladly and he didn't want a scene.

"Then he should know better than to bother blokes on their way to pick out a monkey suit, shouldn't he, Peaches?"

"He's here to help." Angel explained, squeezing his childe's shoulder tighter. Then, he spoke to the salesman, his name tag read 'Steve'. "We both need to be measured, Steve. We're getting ready for the wedding."

"Oh. The 'wedding', huh?" Steve said, eyeing the two attractive men who were standing close together. And hadn't the small one called the big one, 'Peaches?' He shook his head, it was none of his business. "Go stand by the dressing rooms and I'll get the measuring tape."

The two vampires walked over there and noticed the huge mirror on the wall. The stood in front of the doors to the dressing room and that thankfully didn't allow them to be shown not reflecting in the mirror.

The man came back and unfolded the tape. "I'll start with you." He stood behind Angel's back and roped the tape around his neck to measure that. He wrote down the figure on a scrap of paper. He continued to measure as Angel began to ask questions. "Do you offer any discounts to the men in the wedding party?"

"Yes, we do. Are there any others in your group?" Angel gestured to Giles and Riley who were being measured by another salesman. "We'll get all of your measurements and styles and I'll have an estimate on the price. We usually knock about 20% off."

Angel grinned, he loved saving money. "But how about a woman? Does she count?"

"A woman?" Angel gestured to Faith who was picking out a small tuxedo for herself. She said there was no way in hell that she was getting into a dress. She was planning on wearing something from their small selection of female tuxedos a la Marlena Dietrich.

"Sure. She's in the wedding then?" Angel nodded. "Sure. In fact," the man said with an eager grin. "I'll take care of her personally."

Angel grabbed the man's forearm. "I think you might want to keep your distance from her. Don't you have a female associate?"

The man turned a little white. He couldn't figure out why the gay guy got so huffy. Maybe he was one of those raving feminist men? "Sure thing, dude. Don't get upset. Amy's on her break, she'll be back in ten minutes." The man continued to measure Angel. Spike merely leaned against the doors of the fitting room and wished for a smoke. He took one out and put it between his lips but didn't light it.

Steve gritted his teeth as he knelt between Angel's legs to measure his inseam. The dark vampire looked at the rows of tuxedos. "How well do you wash these?" He knew that he could never catch a human disease but it still made him go 'ugh' when he thought about wearing something that another person had worn.

"Very well, sir." He stretched the tape up Angel leg and into his crotch. "We steam clean them."

Spike's cigarette fell from his lips and hit the floor. "Bloody hell! He's feeling your package, Peaches. And you're just standin' there!"

"No, he's measuring my inseam." Angel said, rolling his eyes. Spike could be so uncivilized sometimes.

Steve turned a shade of red previously unseen in nature. He walked over to Spike and wrapped the tape around his neck. Spike glared at the man. "I'll do my own, if you don't mind." The salesman let him have the tape and the paper so the vampire could write down his own measurements. "Bloody humans feelin' other guys' packages." He grumbled, as he wrapped the tape around his middle.

In the meantime, Steve turned to Angel. "What type and color?"

"Black, with a red cummerbund. We'd like to see styles with tails." Steve went to retrieve some likely types. In the meantime, Spike had finished his measurements. "You really are a simple creature, you know that?"

"Bite me."

"You'd enjoy it too much."

Steve had overheard the last exchange. He blushed again and busied himself by holding out a jacket for Angel to try on. Before the vampire knew what was happening, he found himself in front of the row of mirrors. "What do you think?" The salesman proudly stepped back and looked at where Angel should be in the mirror. "Arghhhh!"

"What?" Spike asked with deceptive innocence.

"He's... he's not there." He looked at Angel who stood there frozen.

"We're magicians." Spike said, coming up behind Angel. "Isn't that right, Peaches?"

"Yes, magicians." He managed, trying to appear smooth. "Abracadabra!" He waived his hands.

"Good. Now all you need is your magic fairy wand, poof." Spike chuckled under his breath in a magicky way.

"Oh. Magicians." The man seemed to buy it. "Cool. That's a good trick. So, you guys are like... what?" He looked at them. "Siegfried and Roy? The two g... er, tiger guys."

"Yes, just like them." Angel said, adjusting his jacket. He looked across the room and saw Faith nearly choke on her laughter. She coughed and turned away quickly. What was so damn funny?

Spike slapped his back. "No! Not like them. Good God, don't you ever watch television? Definitely not. We're non-homosexual magicians. Like... like..." Who? David Copperfield seemed like a prancing lightweight. There was that cowardly masked magician on television. "Never mind. We're magicians, non-gay ones. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just wouldn't be caught dead shaggin' Peaches here."

"What's wrong with me?" Angel asked petulantly. "I'm shaggable!"

"Not to me, you aren't." Spike said.

Angel scowled. "Faith, do you think I'm shaggable?"

"I can't hear you!" She singsonged, walking over to Riley and Giles.

Steve backed away. "Oh, look, there's Amy now. I'll have her help you." He wanted to get away from the two gay or maybe straight 'magicians'. "I'll just help your other friends." He took off across the room.

Spike sucked in his stomach and looked at where he should see himself in the mirror. "What do you think? Have I gained weight eating all that cake?"

Angel sighed. This wedding couldn't come soon enough.