Part Eighteen

The window was open a crack, letting in a silvery mist and the soothing, refreshing sound of falling rain beating down the grass, which had begun to dry already. Kitty poured a touch of hazelnut flavored cream into her coffee and stirred it lightly with a spoon. The cream was a treat she thought she'd indulge herself in, since she wasn't sure how many times she would be left waiting, as she had that morning. With a slight frown, she sat down in the hard, tall-backed chair, opposite her mentor and confidant, as he observed her every action with the keen blue eyes of a hunter. Usually used to his harsh gaze, now she was unnerved by it and dropped her spoon to the table with a noisy clatter, hoping it would draw his attention from her, if for but a moment. His eyes never left hers.

"What's on yer mind, Kitty?" he asked, pulling a cigar from seemingly nowhere, wondering what there was with which he could light it.

She shrugged non-committally, dark curls falling into her lovely face as she bowed her head to stare into the milky depths of her coffee. "I just...I wanted someone to talk to, you know? I wanted *you* to talk to. Like we used to. Ever since Pete and I broke up..." She stopped herself, biting her lip and forcing away tears. How many had she shed for him already? She had promised herself she wouldn't bring him up in any way but professionally, a reminiscence of battle plans used in Excalibur or something, and yet...

It was another of those things she found she couldn't help. There were too many of those nowadays. There hadn't been before. When she'd had Pete. Swallowing, she took a sip of coffee, grateful for something to do with her hands, and looked back up at Logan, who waited patiently for her to go on. Her next words, to her personal surprise, but not to the man who sat before her, came out as a strangled whisper as she admitted, "I guess I miss him." And she did. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't miss his English accent, the way his unruly black hair fell into his eyes, the way he was constantly accusing Lockheed of stealing his cigarettes...

"I still love him." She hadn't even meant to think the words, let alone speak them aloud, and her heart quickened as it tried to refute the evidence. To no avail. "I still love him."

Logan stood and went to her as she dissolved into tears, covering her face with both hands, elbows propped on the table. Lifting her to her feet, he enveloped her in an embrace, and she sobbed against his chest, wetting the front of his already soaked shirt. For a long moment, they stood like that, the rain creating a beautiful background to the emotional scene; the skies seeming to feel the shards of her heart aching as it poured all its grief out over the mansion.

When they finally pulled away, a smile cushioned his words as he muttered, "'Bout damned time y' figured it out."

Kitty laughed, swiping at tears, thinking how they never had really gotten around to coffee. But, her heart a little lighter, she told him softly, "You'd better get back to Jubilee. She needs you."

* * * *

Jubilee emerged from the bathroom, clad in her favorite long Jar Jar Binks nightshirt, black cotton shorts underneath. She still winced slightly as if something still actively hurt her, and she gripped her stomach protectively. Jean aided the girl's retreat, then slipped from the room to go and see if the window repair man was making any progress.

Jubilee sat uncomfortably in her wheelchair, the Pikachu pillow held in front of her like a body shield as she glanced warily around the room, and for a moment, Remy wondered if Jean was really the person to be helping the girl, but quickly cast the thought aside. Who was more gentle than Jean? And, more to the point, who else was there? Rogue would be scared to death to even near the injured child, for fear of damaging her more, though she'd never admit the fact. Besides those two, the only other woman in the mansion was Kitty, who seemed to have ... reservations about Jubilee's very presence.

"Can Remy get de petite anyt'ing?" he asked, brandishing his most charming smile for her sake. To his disappointment, she merely shook her head wearily, then began examining her nails. "I have de chocolate left over from de udder night," he offered, but again she shook her head.

"No thanks." How quickly her mood had changed. One moment, snatches of her sunny self were seen, the next, the dark clouds of depression and distrust loomed ever darker. At a loss, the Cajun was considering what to say next when a small knock sounded at the door, and, without waiting for permission, Jean stuck her head in, bright red locks falling haphazardly around her smiling face.

"I'm sorry, Gambit, but ... well ... Jubilee, we have a surprise for you." The girl barely looked up, then something at the sight of the fiery woman made her straighten suddenly, her mouth in a grim but determined line.

"You want Remy t' take you, petite?" She gave him a side glance, then nodded, slightly but assuredly. Standing, he grasped the handles of her wheelchair and they followed Jean down the hall to Jubilee's old room. The psi positively beamed as she paused dramatically, then swung the door open.

The window was as Jubilee had seen it last, before she had plunged herself through it a week prior. The light blue curtains had been taken down, replaced with long, cream-colored lace ones that fluttered a little in the breath of air the door provided as it was swung open. A teardrop sun catcher that Jubilee recognized as Paige's hung from the window, refracting the silvery light of the falling rain onto the soft blue carpet. The rest of the room looked strikingly familiar, as if she had never left the X-Men, except to acquire a few items at Generation X, which were scattered here and there throughout the room, along with an item from each of her former teammates. She doubted if the two adults pensively observing her initial reactions to the room even noticed them.

There, on the bed, was Everette's favorite teddy bear that he kept hidden beneath his bed and had shown only her. On the wall was a poster of Paul Weller from Jono. Next to her jewelry box was Angelo's good gold lighter. Hanging from the earring stand was a pair of huge gold earrings from Monet that Jubilee had once complimented her on after a dare by Angelo that she couldn't be nice to Miss Perfect, for even a day. She was touched the older girl had even remembered. From Penance was a blue headband made of Titanium Mesh that hung from the mirror. Artie and Leech had donated a length of toy racing track and two Matchbox cars.

A limp balloon tied to the bedpost bobbed indecisively toward the ceiling, though it had lost enough helium that its ribbon had enough slack to brush the floor. On the wall over her bed was posted a giant banner, signed by various people from the Massachusetts school, and piled on the covers was a heap of cards, probably all saying, 'We miss you' and 'We love you' and 'Get well soon.'

For the first time since her stay at the X-mansion, Jubilee thought of her former teammates, and was sickened. She could just see the horror written on their faces when they heard of what she'd tried to do. She could hear the jeering in Monet's voice as she proclaimed, "I always knew Jubilation was weak and unstable. This merely proves the fact."

"Take it down," the girl whispered, staring at the huge, bright banner.

Jean gave her a puzzled look as Remy muttered, "Qu'est que c'est?"

"Take it DOWN!!" Her voice rose to a scream as she lifted her hands and hot pafs flew from them, tearing the banner in the middle and scorching the wall. Another well-placed paf popped the balloon before her powers quit. She knew she was too weak to be using them in the first place, but if she was going to be put in this room, she would not be forced to stare at a constant reminder that the people she had considered friends at one time knew the terrible things she had done. The rest she'd take down herself, when she was stronger. And as for the cards ... "I don't suppose I could, like, get a little down time alone, could I?" she address the two adults without ever looking at them.

Both answered a simultaneous, emphatic, "No" that made her feel as if she were a prisoner in her own home.

"Fine. When's Wolvie comin' back?"

"Right now, darlin'." She craned her neck to find the Canadian entering the room, shooing the two other people away.

(Written by Dana Night)