Part Nineteen

Jubilee looked back at the new window as Logan came to stand next to her, smoothing her newly washed ebony locks down. She opened her mouth to ask for the banner to be taken down again, torn as it was now, and Jean moved to pull it off the wall, the balloons quickly following. Tears filled Jubilee's eyes and she covered her face with her hands, leaning forward slightly.

She hunched over in the wheelchair, head to her knees, sobbing at the kind gifts from her friends. Logan sank to his knees in front of the chair, cradling her in a hug as best he could. Remy moved to close the door, keeping prying eyes away from the painful scene inside. Logan whispered into her ear, asking what was wrong and what he could do.

"You can all get away from me." she stated, trying to pull away from them all as they came over to help. She pushed herself out of the chair, teetered wearily and Logan moved to help her even as she gripped to the desk, which now held her diary, a new one to replace this one when it ran out, pens, pencils and yet another jewelry box, this one less special than the one on her dresser, just meant to hold her junk. Turning back to them, she began to cry out carelessly, moving back to pick up all the items she'd been sent by her supposed friends and throwing them to the ground, tears streaming down her face. "What was it now? You didn't want me in your room anymore Wolvie? That's fine, but you could have told me! I don't want to be in here, I can't take it in here with all this stuff! It's not me anymore."

She fell on her knees by the bed, overworked and in great pain, wheezing and clutching at her stomach. Doubling over, she moaned and dug her fingers against the flesh on her belly, squeezing the carpet with harsh force with her other hand. Shaking, she began to rock, begging the feeling to make her feel safe in the room she'd come to hate in so few moments. Logan dropped down beside her and she shrunk against the bed in fear, trapped in her memories again; memories of other rooms she'd hated and why she'd hated them so badly. Dry heaves came immediately after each intake of breath, choking her as she recalled her past. She clawed at the covers on her bed for protection as Logan struggled to stand her up and get her breathing normally again without being lit on fire by the flailing hands.

"Get Hank." he called out to no one in particular, though both the other occupants of the room rushed to follow his orders. He lowered his tone as she threatened to fall again; her knees gave out on her and she sagged in his arms, still fighting for freedom. She clutched at her throat as she gasped, hyperventilating and coughing, her stomach heaving painfully, her heart beating erratically in her chest. "Jubilee..."

Holding her up in one arm, he began to rub her back carefully, trying to give her the calm she was looking for as the panic attack took over. Whispering in her ear, he felt her slowing, her heart hammering away. Her nose began to bleed by the lack of air, dripping down her chin in a bright river against the pale skin. Supporting a limp body was an easy feat for Logan as he did it most times in battle, and he held her against his shoulder, soothing her as the other three rushed into the room again. Her heart pounded painfully, stretching to accommodate the rush of blood, and she still panted and gasped, the lungs not agreeing with her moderated air intakes.

"Put her on the bed, I must check if she's done damage to herself with this attack." Logan followed Hank's orders, laying her out on the bed as he sat by her, holding her arms at the elbows, trying to keep her still and to have her calm down even more. Hank called for Remy and Jean to come help Logan, busy as he was trying to stay calm and keep her calm.

Remy sat on her other side, holding her head to stop the shaking and talked to her when Logan took a break. Jean helped Hank by holding the bag he grabbed, acting as nurse for him. He lifted her nightgown a little past her taped ribs and began to gently feel around them, pressing the plastic bone carefully. His furry paws moved down to her belly, pressing around the scars there, the others wincing at the sight as she moaned and clenched onto Logan and Remy's hands, which she now held in her own.

"Where does it hurt Jubilee?" Hank asked her softly, pressing again over the beginning of the scar. He was rewarded with a moan and this time she tried to move out of the way, squirming. "I think you have merely pulled a few muscles with the strain you endure during the attack, but we shall do the X-Rays in the Med Lab in a few moments. He pulled her nightshirt back down, moving Remy over so he could listen to her heart and lungs. After a moment, he pulled away and helped Logan lift her.

"You are lucky my dear. Had Logan not asked me to come and you would not have stopped your attack, you would have ruined yet another piece of your body by this." Logan pulled her close to his shoulder and they headed down to the Med Lab's for the X-Ray.

* * * *

Logan watched Jubilee as she watched the ceiling, her eyes full of terror at the impending sleep and loneliness. At his insistence, she'd been placed in his room again for her care. She had explained what had happened in the room, why she'd become scared and angry. The items from her friends in Snow Valley were being returned, as were the cards she had read and tossed to the floor. Logan remembered seeing her cry, the pile in front of her growing smaller, the guilt inside growing larger. She'd been hellbent on reading all the cards and then torching them, setting them on fire, but she'd become even more angry as her power chose that moment to die out from her over-exertion.

Hank had found nothing wrong with her stomach, or anything inside her with the X-Rays and had sent her to her own bedroom, but Logan had disagreed, saying she'd be better off in his room, even if it would have to be for the rest of her life to make her feel safe.

"How'd yer coffee with Kitty go today?" Jubilee's voice, the one that had been sparkling with her normal self only just earlier in the day, had become bitter and depressed again.

"Good. She just needed t' talk fer a bit." Logan sat down on the bed next to her and she placed a hand across her stomach protectively, as he now noticed she did numerous other times since Bastion had kidnaped her. He grinned down at her and then looked out the window at the stars above, watching the moon come out. It had gotten so late since he'd first taken her out; the afternoon had gone by in the Med Labs, the sun had sank, and the rain had stopped, cooling things down considerably.

"I'm sorry about this afternoon." she mumbled, playing with his hand. She picked up and dropped the paw on the bed, feeling his rough, warm skin with her thin, soft, fragile fingers. "Nobody told me I'd be leaving here so soon."

"I know. I wanted t' tell ya. I didn't think Jeannie'd bring ya in without me there or tellin' ya first." he watched her fingers laying over his, the skin contrasting greatly. "I was supposed t' go and stay in there with ya, just like in here, but in a more familiar place for you."

"This is familiar. Why not bring the cot in here? I hate my room. I don't know if I can stay in there alone, but here it's different. I can sleep and spend time with you and it's comfortable."

"Then here we stay." he hugged her and she smiled at him, her eyes downcast to the bed. "But I gotta get a cot in here, the couch is deadly." Smiling even harder, she winced as her stomach growled, stretching the healthier muscles around her pulled ones. "Why don't I have someone bring up something to eat?"

"No. It's okay." she mumbled, pulling the covers up a bit.

"J, don't even think of trying to pull the not eating crap you pulled with your parents. Hank'll give you an IV if you don't eat more."

"Fine. Soup then, and some water. And crackers..." she trailed off, finally aware of how much she had actually wanted this food, had been starving for it. "And something sweet?"

"Sure. How's about tomorrow I go out and get us a little, old TV to bring in here and we get us any movies you want and some chips and pop?" he patted her good cheek and a lock of long hair fell into her face, covering an eye.

"Yeah. That sounds fun. And invite Kitty."

* * * *

Sunday morning shone clear and bright, dyeing the grass a golden green as it rose higher in the sky. Jubilee felt she had finally worked up enough courage to try and lay outside for a time after what she labeled 'The Incident'. Jean helped her into pair of cutoffs and a t-shirt, handing her a silver Panasonic Shockwave CD player and headphones, a bag of sour fish and a blanket that she could use to lay under her on the grass. Logan came out with her, laying the blanket partway under a tree. Sitting back after he helped her stretch out on the grass, he tipped his cowboy hat and rested, one eye always trained on her, determined to watch her as he'd promised.

"Hey Gumbo." he said, lighting up a cigar. Jubilee wrinkled her nose in distaste and popped a fish in her mouth, eyes watering. Glancing into the tree, she saw the Cajun laying as a panther does on a branch, stretched luxuriously to watch her from above.

"What're ya doing up there?" she asked, shielding her eyes from the sun. She smiled after she'd swallowed the fish. "Trying to eat a bird?"

"Ha! I be watchin' you, petite." Remy sat up, swinging down onto the blanket gracefully. "I tried to do it inconspicuously, but les bete here foiled my plans wit' his super sniffer." He lay down next to her on the blanket, on her opposite side to Logan. Stretching out, they pointed out cloud shapes while eating sour fish until Logan lay on her other side and helped, occasionally stealing a fish when he said they tasted awful.

(Written by Nova Zion)