Part Ten

Jubilee closed her eyes and lay back against the pillow, head nodding off to the side. Her hands rested on her abdomen, carefully avoiding her rib cage and any possible pain involved with touching it.

"You okay J?" Bobby whispered, his hand clenched against the chair backing. "D'ya need something?"

"No." one hand clenched a card of Sailor Moon tightly as she shook her head softly on the white cotton. "I don't need anything. Well I do, but you won't let me have it."

"What...?" Bobby stared questioningly at her and then realized what she was saying. "J, we all love you. And we do care..."

"No."

"No really, we do. It's just that you were so strong and were able to take care of yourself for so long before we came along, and all of us thought you could do it again ... after ... uh, after Bastion..."

"Do you know everything about what happened? Is Hank blurting to everyone yet?" Jubilee's face became bitter and her hands clenched on her stomach, trying not to shake with terror at her secret being known.

"J, I had t' beg for him to tell me anything. I care about you. I woulda missed you if you'd made it. You can't leave me alone here again." A tear slipped from Bobby's eyes and he wiped it away desperately. "Don't leave me J."

"Bobby..." Jubilee opened her sapphire eyes in pain and looked at the older boy beside her bitterly. They were like brother and sister, oldest and youngest in the pair and linked through stupidity and practical jokes to each other. But Jubilee still saw past it to the family that had abandoned her when she'd needed them.

"I didn't know it bothered you that much. Here I was thinking that I was a pain in the ass and got in the way to much for everyone's comfort. Thanks for showing me the difference between your pain and mine." she replied sarcastically. Her hurt was evident in her voice and she covered her face with her hands so that he couldn't see the shame and confusion that masked her face at the attack.

"J, I know I deserve that. And I think you should rest now." Bobby stood and moved to help her lay down again so she could sleep. "Logan'll be back soon and he'll be mad at me if you're awake..."

"No, it hurts too much. I had to be totally checked out today and Hank hasn't come to give me any sleeping pills yet. I'm in too much pain from the tests..."

Bobby grimaced at her light weight and looked away, out the window to the pond below. He could see the distant specks of two people sitting on the dock, but the features where indistinguishable. Shaking his head, he patted Jubilee's hand and kissed her forehead. "I really would have missed you."

* * * *

Kitty gave a small smile behind her hands, almost giggling at the easy way she'd convinced Logan to come out of his room when all the others from the team had abandoned the idea. Now she'd get to spend time with Logan and help him stay sane while Jubilee didn't get him all to herself. But a thought still rang out true and clear in her head and she struggled to push it back and remain calm and cool as she looked at Logan. The stubborn thought pushed at her and she resolved to ignore the pangs of guilt.

"Jealousy leads to selfishness." the thought said, ringing almost painfully.

"Kitty? What's wrong?" Logan asked gruffly, glancing at her.

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"You wanna say hi to Jubilee? Bobby's watching her, so even though she shouldn't be, she's probably still awake..."

"No. We don't really get along with each other. I'd probably make her worse..." Kitty stuck her toe in the water and swirled it around to the fish playfully.

"Kitty, you should try to get along with her."

"Logan, she does everything for attention and then berates me for doing anything like talking to you. This is just a show to grab everyone's attention and I'm not falling for it." Kitty stopped suddenly and closed her eyes, feeling the emotions in the air change to anger. She hadn't meant for her conversation with Jean and Storm to get to her, but it evidently had and now she'd hear about her selfish thoughts.

"Don't ever say anything like that again." Logan growled menacingly, the hair rising on Kitty's neck. "Jubilee may do thing's for attention at times, but to make something as major as suicide attempts and torture into something so trivial is unnecessary. The reason she does thing's for attention is because every family she trusted left her alone and she feels she needs to do something to keep them. She went through hell Kitty and I wasn't there. Now, it's my job to bring her back."

With that said, Logan stood angrily and stormed away from Kitty, leaving the young girl to sit and stare at his retreating back, angry as hers had been only the other day. Sighing miserably, a sob escaped her throat and she covered her face with her hands again, crying to the goldfish below.

* * * *

Bobby looked up as the door to Logan's room opened and Remy slipped inside. Remy watched Bobby's face as he slipped to Jubilee's side and planted a kiss on her uncut cheek softly, watching for signs of pain on her face. Jubilee looked up at him angrily and moved her face away, avoiding his gentle touches.

"What be wrong petite?" Remy sat down on the bed and looked at the tiny, almost weightless body in front of him. "You in a lot o' pain?"

"Yes."

"D'you want me to go an' fetch Hank from his lab work?" he asked, glancing at Bobby.

"I want Logan to be here. He promised he'd be back in an hour..." Jubilee started to cry, the silver tears dropping rapidly down her cheeks to the bed sheets. She struggled to roll onto the healthier side of her body and Bobby helped her carefully, feeling the cracked ribs stretch and move under his fingers. She curled into a ball and sobbed into her hands as the two men helplessly looked on. "He promised..."

Jubilee cut her sentence off as the door opened and Logan walked quickly into the room, anger and pain written into the lines on his face. He stopped at the foot of the bed and looked at the Cajun team mate on her left side. "What're ya doing here?"

"I came to visit wit' de girl..." Remy stood and looked down at the weeping figure below him. Jubilee curled up as tight as her broken body would allow and sobbed, her actions speaking volumes of her mental state at the current moment. Bobby stood and went to the door. "But we'll go now. She was asking for you, Logan."

Logan nodded and took Bobby's seat in the chair, facing Jubilee as she cried quietly against her thin hands. Her body shuddered and she moved away as Logan reached out to brush her hair back. The two men left and Logan stared at the little child in front of him, feeling her pain and wondering why Kitty would say such things about her. "Jubes, it's okay ... you're okay..."

"Please ... why did ... y-you have to save me? I wanted ... t-to die..." Jubilee stuttered on and Logan sat back in the chair, watching her. "I don't ... w-want to feel ... this way ... a-anymore..."

"J, I had t' save you, like you'd do ... you did ... fer me. You're like my kid and I have to make sure you get better 'cause I love ya." Logan wiped a tear away and focused on Jubilee, watching her stop and look at him. "I couldn't survive without ya. You tamed me too long ago."

She smiled a bit at the lecture he'd given her when she'd found a baby bird and wanted to keep it and thought back to that memory with ease.

"J, the bird has to go back. If you raised it, it wouldn't be wild anymore. They can't survive well at this age without their family and you'd have tamed it too much to go back if ya kept it."

"But, I could keep it as a wild bird."

"No, the bird's just learnin' t' fly and you can't teach it that. It's an animal and you'd tame it and it would never be able to survive without you."

And now, Logan was using the same speech for himself and her. She'd gotten him used to having her around and if she wasn't there, he couldn't survive.

"I don't want these feelings anymore..." she croaked, tears welling in her eyes again. "I want to die and leave them behind. I don't want to know what happened anymore..."

Logan was speechless at the chord these struck inside him. Reaching out to wipe the tears from her cheeks, he recoiled as she pulled away from him with a gasp and continued to cry.

"Please don't touch me...I don't want to hurt anymore..." she sobbed and clutched her doll to her chest.

(Written by Nova Zion)