Ok, part one got some very good feed-back, so this was inevitable... All New Mutants, X-Men, etc. characters belong to Marvel comics. Any others are mine, ALL MINE!!!!! Author - D. Cypher Email - Darryll_Newvani@Hotmail.com Title - Doug Ramsey - All is fair in war, love, and mutancy. Summary - In an alternate universe where the Xavier mansion is a gigantic school complex (and where certain characters are younger than they should be - BLAME CONTINUITY!), a confused and bewildered Doug Ramsey finds himself trying to prove himself worthy and manly enough for new-student Rahne Cassidy. However, as always, school will get in his way, and he has to find ways to get around it. Genre - Humour, Real-life Issues Notes - This was originally written as a Birthday gift for Luba Kmetyk. This is probably gonna be quite long, so we'll take this as part 2 (Out of about twenty!). Doug Ramsey - All is fair in love, war, and mutancy Part 2 - Almost Brill Cream By D. Cypher Friday, April 6th "Oh my God," Doug whispered in realisation as the trio passed across the court-yard. "Did I REALLY kiss her? REALLY?" The two girls giggled and shook their heads. Kitty whispered to Dani, "I was wondering how long it would take for him to work that out." "No, you didn't kiss her, Casanova, you did'nt even *&%$£@# talk to her," came the ever sardonic words of Danielle Moonstar. Doug silenced himself and his face looked as if he had seen Mr. Logan, the History teacher, squatting in the bushes -- which unfortunately, two weeks ago, he had. "Anyway, Doug," said Kitty cheerily, wrapping her arm around the 'paralyzed' boy, "were there any nice boys in that group of new kids? Hmmmm?" He shook himself out of the frightening image, and answered the question. "Nice boys? Let me think... well, there was the glowing green one, the hyperactive American one, the facially scarred Liverpudlian, and the spunky Londoner. Take yer pick." "Hmmmmmm..." Kitty contemplated. "What was the spunky one like?" Doug held open the drama block doors as they passed through. "Horrible," he replied. "He smoked, he swore, he probably kills babies for some weird cult." Kitty paused as the three moved to their places within the mingling audience. Doug lifted his hand towards Bish' and Remy, two of Xavier's coolest students. They sat in-between Jubilation's small group of giggling females, and Julio Rictor's little coven of himself, Tabitha What's-her-name and the inseparable pair of Rusty and Sally, who were so constantly kissing that most people had completely forgotten that they were separate entities. "I thought you got on with the Illyana type?" finally came from Kitty. "Yeh, I do... but him..." Everyone in the room calmed down as the teacher entered. Bobby Drake was of course not the oldest, most sophisticated, or most experienced of the teachers at Xavier's, but he connected well with the students. "Afternoon, kids!" cheerily said Drake, who tossed his jacket over his director's chair. "Who's ready to make magic happen?" He twirled his arm and stiffened his accent as if he was a Shakespearian actor. Some of the "audience" laughed, some of it groaned. "Ok, books out," he ordered, and the group reached into their bags to retrieve their copies. "Grease, pages 12 in puffin and 15 in scholastic. We are reading from the stage direction..." He licked his lips to turn the page, "...Scene moves onto Bleachers. Read in your groups over those few pages. Could I have a word with Doug, please?" Doug looked over to Bobby, questioningly, which Bobby answered with a smile. Kitty smiled at Doug, and shrugged her shoulders as he got up. He returned the gesture. "Uh, why'd you want to see me, sir?" asked Doug, bemused. "Please, Doug, enough with the 'sir' crap! I'm Bobby, and I'm only three years older than you!" Drake exclaimed, then, "Well, it's like this, Doug - I'm removin' you from the assignment." "WHAT?!" "Doug, can I show you sumfin'?" "Sure, as long as it answers why you're removin' me!" Drake bent down to pick up a folder he had carried in, and he opened it, swiveling around so that Doug could see it as well. It was open on a page containing a graph. "Average students, like Jubilee and Rictor, are here, " he pointed at a point on the graph, about half way up it. "YOU are here." He raised his finger up to a dot just below the top line. It was marked "Doug Ramsey - Aye Caramba!" "I don't get it si--um, Bobby?" "Well, Doug, it means you've got A's in all your coursework - you don't even have to do the exam! You've passed drama already!" Doug stared at him, utterly gob-smacked. "I-I-I-is that possible?" "Yep. The same goes for Kitty." "Wow." "I also checked with your other subjects - the same goes for Dance, English, all your languages courses, and It. Especially IT." "Wow." "...You ok, Doug? You look as if a horny angel just stole yer pants?" "Oh, um, I'm sorry Bobby, I was thinking of other things... Wow." Almost Silence. The whole rest of the group were chattin' their heads off, but Doug and Bobby were silent. "Bobby?" "Yeah, Doug?" "Don't I need at least one Practical Assessment for drama?" "Of course." "But I don't have one...do I?" Bobby smiled slyly, and put his hand on Doug's shoulder. Doug stared at him. "Do you trust me, Dougie?" "About as far as I can throw Manhattan. Why?" Bobby turned towards the big screen that hung over the make shift stage, and he pointed the remote control at it. After he'd pressed 'play', the room fell silent, and all attention was diverted to the screen. It was black at first, and after a few seconds, the title appeared - Wasted Youth Written by Meat Loaf. Performed by Douglas Ramsey. As the title appeared, Doug's face became one of absolute shock, and his hand instantly reacted, lashing out at the air, succesfully knocking the remote to the floor. Just as the background music started, he paused it, and was made the centre of the group's boos, hisses, and callings of 'Ramsey does it with Dogs'. He pulled himself to his feet, and faced the increasingly smug visage of Drake. "WHERE THE HECK DID YOU GET THIS?!?!?" Bobby giggled, and pointed towards Kitty and Dani. They both instinctivly turned away, raising their books over their faces. "Doug, it's fantastic!" said the usually calm teacher. "Why didn't you tell me before Kitty gave it to me?" "Because I didn't expect I could throw Manhattan!" "Ouch! Nice comeback." "How good is it anyway?" "Well, after showing it to Ororo, Judd, Logan, Summers..." "Xavier?" asked Doug, utterly dumbstruck. "...Of course -- and a few others -- once we were able to stop ourselves laughing, we all decided it was brilliant!" "Wow." "Betsy especially liked the Goddamnit-Daddy bit." Something came into Doug's line of view. "Eeeeeek!" He squealed, as Roberto daCosta slowly entered the room, his eyes hawklike, scanning the students. Scanning them for Doug. Doug slid directly behind Drake as soon as he could, but Dacosta had already seen him. The room fell silent. "Ramsey - Outside - Now." Came 'Berto, aggresively. "Hey! I don't care who you are, pretty boy, " Bobby had had experience with bullies and fights in his past. "No-one but me gets to rough up Doug here." "It's ok," Doug said with a deep sigh, pushing Bobby's hand off his shoulder. "I can handle this ignoramus myself." As Doug walked towards the door, he felt Kitty's eyes on him. He closed his eyes a little, then carried on walking, only to be stopped by the grimacing face of Remy, who had jumped in front of him. "Come on, Dougie," started Remy, ever smiling, "Let's say me and Bish' help you with this one, non?" Doug's eyes moved towards Bish. The tall, well built African-American smiled at him too. "No-one has to put up with bullies, Ramsey." Bish's voice was far too deep for his his age. Doug smirked. "Look Remy, it's a nice offer, but..." he made his way to the entrance where 'Berto was impatiently tapping his foot, "it's not as if I can't survive a conflict with this dickweed, is it?" *********** "Owwwwwwwwwwww!" "Stop complaining, Doug, it's yer own fault yer shoulder's in this bad state!" Senior Nurse Elizabeth Braddock leaned over Doug's infirmary bed, sponge in one hand, roll of bandages in the other. "Hey!" Doug turned to face the purple-haired matron with a mixed face of disgust and excitement. "I didn't know he could fire beams of black- heat-stuff out of his hands!" "It's a good thing Drake was there when he was! You should be thanking him for..." Betsy shook her head in dismay at the pun, "...putting him on ice." Doug stared bemused at her. "You should be locked away for that one, Betsy." " I know." She reached over to Doug's forehead, and brushed a chunk of hair away from his eyes. "You know, Doug," her voice became all husky as she played with his hair, "there are things I could do..." She leaned closer. "...to make the pain go away..." Doug blushed like the Red Skull, and moved Betsy's hand away from his face. "Well, Betsy, ummm, you see..." his eyes darted around the room, "apart from you being twelve years older than me, ummm, your engaged to the most handsome (not to say richest) teacher on campus, but--OH MY GOD WARREN'S STANDING IN THE DOORWAY!!!!!!!!" Betsy abruptly jumped off the bed, brushed herself off, then turned to the door. Sharon Friedlander stood at the doorway smiling. "There are a few people here to see you, Douglas," her smile could penetrate unknown galaxies. "Should I send them in or not?" "Err, umm, fine by me," Betsy was blushing more than Doug had been. "You want... err... them in?" "Sure." Doug smiled triumphantly at Betsy, and she slightly shook under his gaze. "OK." Sharon beamed, then disappeared round the corner. Betsy angrily spun round on one foot. "That was LOW, Ramsey!" "I know, but--" Doug chuckled, "You look so cute when you're frumpy!" Betsy's face slightly mellowed. "You know, Doug, if you're careful, " she turned round and started to walk out the exit, "You'll lose me." He chuckled to himself. "Heheh, women." As Betsy left the room, a group of Doug's pals -- consisting of Kitty, Dani, Tom and Rictor -- barged past her. Surprisingly, Pete Wisdom appeared to be in tow. Dani waved to Doug, and walked straight past, probably to talk with Sharon. "Hey hey hero!" exclaimed Kitty, wrapping her arms around Doug. "We brought you stuff!" Tom lifted up a plastic-bag, while Wisdom leaned in the doorway, lighting a ciggy. "Two bunches of grapes, a couple of oranges, and a box of chocolates," while Julio butted-in smugly, "Not for you of course - 'Cos Chico-nurse luuuurve Chocolates." Doug sniggered and caught the bag of fruit which Tom passed him. Sharon and Dani poked their heads through the door. "I'm afraid you won't be needing that f$£*@#g bag of goodies, champ!" chirped Dani. "According to Shar' here, you don't need to stay the night." Doug beamed ecstatically, "REAALLLLLLLLY!!!!!" Sharon smiled back. By now her incessant smiling was getting on Doug's nerves. "Sure, you might even be able to leave by 7 tonight. It's only a heavy bruise - it'll heal out of the hospital, as long as you give it a lot of exercise." "Seven!?!?!" Doug screamed in pleasure, then turned to face Rictor. "Seven! Your party's at 8! I can still go!" Rictor smugly smirked back with his hands in his pockets, as was his style. "Sure you can! It wouldn't be a party without you. You remember what happened at Christmas?" The rest of the group -- bar Doug and Wisdom -- laughed and guffawed, leaving Doug bewildered and confused. "Umn..." Doug looked slightly intimidated. "what... happened.. at Christmas?" The others slowly began to stop laughing. "I guess you don't remember, but I bet that if you drink enough tonight, " Rictor leaned close to Doug, " you'll remember pretty soon." Wisdom took a tug on his fag. "What're you doing here, Pete?" Doug asked, sensitively. Wisdom looked up from his cigarette and smiled. "Well, I heard some commotion coming from some cheapo, black shed thing with the word "DRAMA" slopped over its side in red paint, and what do I see but this annoying blond kid I met earlier being thrown into a parked Mercedes by some weird glowing guy?" He took another puff. "I had to come check on my new mate, didn't I?" Doug smirked back, but the whole of Wisdom's demeanour scared him. He seemed like a nice enough guy at heart, but it was the combination of cigarettes, unkempt hair, and almost-business-suit-style-dressing that warned Doug of something he might not want to know about. Illyana leaned over the hospital bed, lifting up one of the bandages on Doug's shoulder. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." she hummed in the style of Homer Simpson, "...blood." Kitty sniggered and threw a pillow at her. Tom lifted his watch and checked the time. 3:28. School finished at 3:20. He gave a sigh. "I got to get to my dorm before Piotr locks the door, " Tom spoke while looking at Doug's face, framed by Kitty's arms. "You know -- he loves his concentration when painting. Well, I'll see you guys tonight at the party then. I've still got time to work out a costume. Well, seeya!" As he turned to leave, Doug spoke. "Wait a sec, Tom." He turned to face Rictor sceptically. "'Costume', as in 'fancy dress'? I didn't know it was fancy dress." Rictor spoke confidently. "Yeah - We changed it after hearing about your heroic sacrifice - take it as a sort of worship." "Is there any theme, Ric?" "Not really, Kitty -- more like 'see-what-sort-of-costume-I-can- make-in-under-6-hours'." "Cool, " Doug butted in. "Well, if you guys are leaving...?" He said it half in disappointment at their leaving, and half wanting to get rid of them - he wanted time to think. "Sure, I've got Chemistry for Monday to do." Kitty released the grip on Doug's shoulders. "See ya later, champ!" came Dani, one of her only sentances not to carry an expletive. "See ya yerself, guys!" Doug smiled - he felt like Sharon. Just as Wisdom turned to leave, Doug thought aboutr something. "Pete?" The youth spun round, cig in lips. "Yeh, Doug?" "Could you tell Rahne that the pary's fancy dress?" Wisdom gave a smirk that was surprisingly friendly. "Sure, Doug, if I-" "Actually, I'll do it for you, Doug!" Ric's voice came after his coif, which poked round the door. Wisdom looked insulted. Doug looked slightly sceptically at Ric. "I--err... guess so Ric -- but you don't even know her?" "And what a better way to meet her than to pass that message onto her in person? Anyway, I guess her and Wis' here are in the same Dorm' block, so I'll just tag-along with him." He had a point. Doug nodded and faced Wisdom. "Ok with you Pete?" He nodded back. "Great! Let's get going." With that, Ric disappeared around the door. Wisdom looked a little coy by now. Doug shrugged his shoulders as if to say sorry. Pete grinned back. "Don't worry. See ya later." "Yeah, later." And with that, he was alone, bar the sounds of one of the nurses typing in an adjoining office. He reached down to the side of his bed, and picked up his Walkman, placing the earphones into his ears, and pressing 'play'. 'Freebird' by Lynnyrd Skynnyrd. He gently lay down and leaned his head back on his arms. As the song's introduction riff started, he turned his head to his blood-soaked shoulder. "When it's finished," he thought to himself, "I must give the bandages to Illyana. That'll cheer her up." End of part 2 Next - Party time.