Chapter 9
Buffy
I didn't go to work. I tried to call Giles, but the number wouldn't
work and I remember that I had all long distance numbers blocked. I
call Tara instead and then I call in sick to work...then...I just started
walking.
I walked to school and around the campus. I walked through the
graveyards. I walked though the woods and to the old high school. I
walk to Glory's tower and can't believe that no one's wondered why its
there or bothered to tear it down. I climb the stairs and look over the
edge, remembering how the last time I was up here I thought I was going
to die. After all, death is my gift, right? No exchanges, no returns.
Death is my gift...my gift to give or receive? Isn't that the question?
I stay on the tower until sundown, just...staring. When the sun goes
down, I walk back down the stairs. The tower sways and I wonder what
would happen if it just fell apart with me on it, if I died not from
supernatural creatures or events but by being crushed by falling
debris. Would it matter to anyone?
Half-way home I run into Spike. He's talking to me, but I'm not really
listening...more staring at him really. He puts his hands on my upper
arms and starts to shake me. I close my eyes. Maybe if he shakes me
hard enough he'll give me brain damage. Suddenly he's not talking
anymore. I open my eyes in time to see his open palm hit my cheek.
The force knocks my head to one side and my hand slowly touches the
injured area. That really hurt...but I didn't hear Spike's normal cry of
pain. I look up to find him staring at me.
"Didn't hurt you?" I whisper.
"No, pet," he replies slowly. "Didn't hurt me a bit."
XXX
Spike
I'm waiting for my words to sink into her brain, for her to realize
that I no longer have the chip. For a moment she just stands there and
I wonder how broken she really is. Suddenly she starts to laugh. Loud,
hysterical type laughter that reminds me of Dru on her bad days.
"Demon," she giggles. "Demon...should have known."
I start to ask her what she's talking about when her first connects
with my nose and before I know it, we're sparing. No, not sparing, full
out fighting.
XXX
Buffy
I should have known that I was never meant to be a normal girl. I'm the
Slayer. Apparently the Slayer is a demon because Spike can hit me. The
pain feels so good. It's seems like it's been so long since I felt
anything that wasn't sadness and dread. Pain, however, makes me feel
alive.
Every punch Spike lands, I relish. I can feel the blood pumping through
my veins and out of my body through various cuts. I laugh and shove
Spike against the wall, wiping a bloody hand across his mouth. He licks
his lips unconsciously and before I realize what I'm doing, I'm licking
his lips too. I pull back and he looks at me in shock. I return his
look because when I touched his lips, I felt something else. I
felt...lust and I can't remember the last time I felt that.
I pull him closer, kissing and licking and biting because I suddenly
can't get enough. Spike isn't complaining, in fact, he's seems just
fine with reciprocating... and doing other things, if I'm understanding
his body's reaction correctly. He trails his mouth down my neck,
murmuring things I can't, or don't want to, understand.
I unzip his pants and pull him out. He gasps in my ear and the sound
turns me on even more. I need him in me right now. It doesn't take much
for me to make my desire known and I'm on my back on the floor with him
buried inside me before I can make a reasonable thought.
God, he feels incredible. His hands are everywhere and nowhere all at
once. His mouth moves from my lips to my neck to my breast and back to
my neck again...and the thought comes to me as I'm reaching my peak.
Spike's chip doesn't register me as human. Spike can hurt me...I know
what I want.
"Spike," I murmur and I'm shocked when I realize that his face is right
over mine and he's looking at me with such reverence. I look away. I
bare my neck. "Please," I whisper.
"Oh, God, luv," he moans. "You sure? Can wait you know, doesn't have
to... happen this time if you don't... want it to."
I can tell he's close. He doesn't want to bite me though...wants to wait
until a different time? I don't really get that. I want it now though.
I don't want to have time to think about it.
I push my neck at him again. "Please," I beg.
Spike moans loudly and buries his face in my neck. A moment later I
feel his fangs pierce my skin. I scream my release and wait for death
to take me.
XXX
Spike
I'm dreaming. There is no other explanation for what is happening, but
if this is a dream, I hope I never wake up. I'm buried deep inside the
Slayer and it's amazing. I'm whispering my love and adoration for her
and she's not pushing me away.
When she pushes her neck at me and asks me to bite her, I almost come
at that moment. This gorgeous goddess below me-the Slayer for bloody
sake-trusts me enough to bring my fangs into our lovemaking...okay, our
fucking, but it will
be lovemaking eventually. I would have thought that it would be years
into a relationship with her until she even considered such a thought.
I bite her gently and her blood flows into my mouth. It's thick and
delicious and the best part, the best part is the Slayer comes
immediately and sets off my own release. Eventually I pull my fangs out
of her and run my tongue over the marks lovingly. My marks...My marks on
the Slayer's neck...on Buffy's neck.
I stroke her face gently. "Buffy, luv, open your eyes," I whisper,
kissing her gently.
She scrunches her nose for a moment before complying. "Am...am I...dead?"
I can't help but laugh. "No, luv. Not dead, just thoroughly satisfied
I'd say." I lean down to kiss her again, but she's pushing me off.
"No," she sobs. "No, no, no. Off! Off me."
What the bloody fuck?!
Buffy rolls onto her side, away from me. She curls up into a tight ball
and sobs loudly. I prop myself up on my elbow and touch her shoulder,
but she shrugs me off.
"Why?! Why didn't you kill me? Why didn't you end it?"
What the hell is going on here? She wanted me to kill her?
"Buffy, if I wanted to kill you I would have done it the moment the
chip was out, not in the middle of one of the greatest shags 've ever
had."
Buffy stills a moment before rolling over to face me. "What...What did
you say?"
"Said this was one of the greatest shags..."
"No," she interrupted. "The part about the chip."
I shift uncomfortably. "Yeah, uh, meant to tell you...I had it
removed...not killing again though so don't worry."
"You...had it...removed." She looks confused. "So...I'm not a-a demon?"
A demon?
"No, luv. Not a demon," I say as I lean down to kiss her.
To my surprise, she doesn't resist me...even when my hands start to
wander and this time is almost better than the first...just without the
blood.
XXX