She hated moments like this, when she knew she had a story to tell but couldn't find the words to do it.  Every last tip she'd learned wouldn't work now.  There was nothing for her to do except to sit there and figure out what was blocking her.  Was it that she wasn't mentally prepared to write, didn't have a clear enough picture of the scene she wanted to write, or had too much on her mind?

        That was easy, she realized.  Way too much to worry about and no place to channel it.  Standing up, she ran her fingers across her face in a smooth arc and stretched.  She could compose fantasies even when the situation looked tense for Excalibur.  The keyboard sang when her mother was the sickest.  But this?  She knew it was bad, simply because she couldn't write and escape into her own comforting world.

        She and Sam and Li'l Bit and Mike had decided to share the same cottage, to allow them some time just to relax.  And Li'l Bit, whose years with Sam had earned her what she called 'a degree in Samology', had given Rahne some ideas on how to talk to her boyfriend so that he would let her just talk.  It was time to borrow one, Rahne realized.  Quickly, she slipped on the most conservative outfit she had brought with her that had been made out of unstable molecules.

        It was four o'clock in the morning, the time that Rahne had found she felt most alive.  And Sam didn't like to get up for another hour, which meant he would be just confused enough for Li'l Bit's plan to work.  She unlocked the front door in preparation.
 
     To preserve Sam's modesty, she nudged the sleeping singer awake, who in turn woke up her boyfriend in another room.  Mike sighed, way too used to his girlfriend's plans, rolled out of bed, and stubbled into Sam's room to make sure that the other man was covered before returning to his bed.  Once she had been given the okay and made sure that the other woman had disappeared into her bedroom, Rahne pounced.

     Sam, Dani said once, should have been born in a nudist colony.  He complained about the tight way clothes pulled across his body, preferred to wear loose clothing and even slept in the nude whenever he was alone, claiming that was the only way he felt comfortable.

     Rahne took advantage of that by racing into his room and plopping down on the foot of his bed.  Battle instincts kicked in as Sam pushed himself upwards and started to get out of bed.  Then he saw Rahne.

     He opened and shut his mouth, not sure what he was trying to say.  Literally, words failed him.  Heck, even his respiratory system was failing him.  Quickly, Sam grabbed a pillow and placed it on his lab.

     Rahne found her nerve and, in machine gun fashion, started to spill her guts.  "Craig is dead and Moira found out he was muh real father.  And A love him and A feel bad about it.  And A spend days afraid that A'd punish muh kids like he did me.  And A wonder what A did that was so bad.  And A thought that because yuir parents were perfect ye wouldn't understand so A was mad that A couldn't tell ye.  So A did."  As quickly as she said all that, she bolted out of the room.

     Sam started blinking fast, trying to understand what had just happened.  By the time his brain kicked in and he found his robe, Rahne had disappeared out the front door.  He trudged back into his room and started to digest what Rahne had spit out.

     Craig was her real father?  She was afraid of being abusive?  "Holy..." Sam whispered, understanding her mood for the last couple of days.

     Rahne was of the one of the gentlest people he had ever met.  And when she was around children, she treated them so honestly.  They trusted her.  He trusted her.  What was she worried about?

     Not knowing what else to do, he started to pray.

**

     Cable found Domino wrapped in a blanket in the cottage Emma had offered the team.  "It's cold in here," she complained, "And the thermostat is broken.  She might like it frozen, but I don't."  She returned to cleaning a small handgun as Cable pulled up a chair next to her at the table.

     "What do you know?" she asked after a second, hoping to get him to spill his hand.  "You two talked for a long time."

     "Way too much..." he started, leaning in to her.  "And things that....  I don't think there are words enough to say I'm sorry."  The grim, drawn tone of voice said what he didn't.

     Domino grew even whiter with each word and pulled herself into the void where she kept most of her personality, her life story, and her past.  "It's... not..." She stood up in a fit of anger.  "They experimented with me!  And that embryo they stuck in me was part of it."

     Cable waved a hand, trying to erase the past.  "And she knows more, things that people will pay to know."  He waited a beat and continued, "Or pay to keep quiet."

     "So nobody says anything about her," Domino suggested with a turn of her wrist.  "And she stays safe."

     He blinked.  She knew better than that, she was the first to complain about the fish bowl they lived in.  The news of another time traveler would make its way around the X-teams, and sooner or later, it would get out to people that ran in their circles.  Instead of fighting her logic, Cable started to repeat some of the details that Lucky had told him.  "In about six months, a mutant—Lucky's never learned the name-- will be tried and convicted of homicide—because her mutant powers got out of control.  This will spark a riot that the MLF and Gene Nation get involved in.  Do you know the damage that'll do?"

     Domino nodded, trying to imagine the kind of bloodshed that would occur.  "Moonstar was forced to step down and a radical gained leadership of the MLF.  They mutated the town of Macon, Georgia in retaliation.  The government then decided to lock up every mutant in the state, until they found the guilty party.  Soon, every mutant in the nation was locked up..." He paused and asked, "Do you want to know what happens next?"

     She shook her head.  "I can imagine... Operation: Zero Tolerance."  He nodded, "And it gets worse after that," she concluded bitterly.

     "That's the short of it," he agreed.  "And a twelve-year-old girl knows all that—and more."  He paused for a beat, and then moved in for the kill.  "Twelve-year-olds, even the toughest little girls, make mistakes in judgement all the time."

     "And this twelve-year-old is going to be on a team with the people that produce her worst nightmare?" she asked with a slight head roll, trying to talk him out of what he had decided.  And, she hoped, out of agreeing with him.

     Cable had thought about that.  "They might—or we may lose Shatterstar and Rictor when they go off to help Lucky."  It was more than possible that the two would strike out on their own to change the future.  Laying his cards on the table, he added, "I think she needs to be with us."

     It was a well thought out decision on his part, Domino knew that.  Gen-X couldn't force the changes that needed to be made.  Excalibur was on the wrong continent.  The X-Men, under Scott's control, were too reactive.  Scott Summers would work with the politicians, which wasn't a bad way to go.  But this was more of a proactive thing, much more their style.

     But Lucky thought she was her daughter-- even if Domino would sooner have sex with Sinister than admit it.  That one thought counteracted any reasonable thinking she might have had about the child joining them.  How difficult would it be for the child to see her on a day-to-day basis and know that the person she thought was her mother didn't want to be her mother?  And that child had lost her world, every familiar face and landmark.  Would their lifestyle be the best for her emotionally?

     She was also Shatterstar's daughter, Domino remembered.  And Shatterstar had made that adjustment, and would understand the Mojorian part of her.  And was what was best for the child emotionally what was best for the world?  The answer might have to be no.

     "Am—Was I a mother to her before?"  Domino asked cautiously.

     Cable shook his head.  "She said that she never thought you had it in you, truth be told."

     At least the kid knew what she was in for, Domino reasoned.  "It's for the best," she grudgingly allowed.  "Tell her 'welcome aboard'."

**

     Her eyelids hurt.  She literally had cried so hard that her blooming eyelids hurt.  Celeste tossed the crumpled tissue in the trash and returned to her sister's diary.

     Maybe she was wrong and should respect her sister's privacy, but she needed to know what she had done that was so wrong.  Flipping through the pages, she got the sense that -- while there were things she had done that she shouldn't have had done -- all in all, Ariel had, Ariel had been reacting to something inside her own soul.  One day, she would be normal.  The next, wild.  Celeste continued to flip through the pages until a knock disturbed her.  "Come in!" she called, knowing full well that if someone had wanted to hurt her, they wouldn't have knocked.  Living with a group of mutants was very educational.

     Rahne walked in and quickly closed the door behind her.  "How did it go?"

     Celeste shrugged.  "I think.... at one point or another today, I've gone through all my emotions.  Ariel's settled in at the rehab center."  Rahne sat down across from her and looked at the book in her hands.   "I just... had some questions I need answered." Rahne nodded and Celeste closed the book.  "What?"

     "A talked to Sam a few minutes ago..."  Quickly she summarized her actions.  The other woman started laughing as she described the way she made sure Sam wouldn't follow her.  "So what do ye think?"

     Celeste poured two cups of chamomile tea with the water she had left simmering and sighed.  "That he needs to be aware of your feelings.... but I just don't see you as the type to lose it, Rahne."

     Rahne sipped the drink.  "Really?" she asked eagerly.  She knew she had a temper, one that was easily swayed by her wolven state.

     "And by the time that your kids come, you'll have your friends around you to help you, if that's what your're worried about."  Celeste patted Rahne's hand.  "You were there for me and I'll be there for you.  Kurt and Kitty and Sam will all be there."

     "A'm kind of afraid A'll end up like Craig," Rahne sighed.

     Celeste shook her head.  "My grandmere was one of the best woman in the world, yet her daughter was one of the most selfish women I've ever met, Rahne."  Trying to avoid cliches, she continued.  "My mother made her choices, and grandmere made hers.  And you'll make yours."

     Rahne let those words roll around in her head.  "Maybe," she allowed.   "But muh temper still scares me..." She worked hard to keep it in control, but when she was pushed, it would pounce out.  "And it's bad when A lose it."

     The list of things she had done or almost done was staggering, in Rahne's opinion.  She had tried to kill a mutant for telling her that he had killed Sam.  Another time, she tracked down a group of people responsible for pushing a boy to commit suicide.  And she had flown off the handle more times than she could remember.

     Celeste sighed.  "Until yesterday, I never knew I could be so emotional...  I mean stress brings out the worst in everyone... " She paused, trying to find the words to help her friend and herself.  "But, Rahne... I know you.  You're not as violent as you think– Look at your mother."

     Moira had what Rahne had once called a cherry pie temperament, one that bubbled under the surface and showed around the edges, yet she wasn't really violent.  It was an accepted part of herself.  "Mummy had years to learn..."

     "And she did."  Celeste leaned back in her chair.  "I think you will too, before you have kids."

     "A–A wish A understood what A felt towards Craig."  Rahne whispered more to herself than to her friend.  "A love him but A donnea want tae still.  And it hurts tae think that A'm happy that he's dead but A am... "

     With a gentle smile, Celeste pointed out something.  "When all looked so bad for me and Ariel, remember what you said?"

     "Tae pray?"  Rahne smiled.  "Ye know, A haven't... not yet."  Somehow, in her struggle to find words, she had neglected to talk to God.  In an intimate act, she held out her hands to her friend.  "Will ye pray with me?"

     Celeste nodded and closed her eyes.

**
       Sam could have followed Rahne when she ran out of the house but it didn't seem like the prudent thing to do, given how uncomfortable  she had been talking to him.  At least she had turned to him, trusted him with the truth.  And Sam knew Rahne had a temper, sharp and lethal, that she had to work to keep under control at times.  And given her sometimes-impulsive nature, it wasn't hard for him to believe that she could believe that she would lash out.

        But that was before she had gone through therapy, and addressed most of the issues she had in her life.  Her father's death had reawakened her concerns about those problems.  The best thing for Rahne would be for her to visit Craig's grave and just yell it out.  They both refused to call him Reverend, reserving that title for those who truly loved the Lord and people, and didn't use their faith to hurt others.

        Sam sighed as he got dressed, knowing he couldn't just tell Rahne to go to the cemetary, he had to lead her to the decision, letting her believe it was her own.  The problem with knowing people was that you knew them.  If Rahne felt any pressure to resolve her problems, she'd refuse to talk about them.  And Sam wanted to solve this for her, shield her from any more pain.

        He had a very good idea where his girlfriend had disappeared.  Rahne had a few close friends-- her mother, Guido, Jamie, Dani, Kitty, Pete, Kurt and Celeste.  A handful of people that she held as dear to her own heart as he held his own family.  And only one had her light on.

        To get to Celeste's cottage, he had to pass the boy's dorm.  The sight of someone leaving it made him pause.  The last thing they needed was for Jono to decide to go after Ariel.   Deciding to investigate, he blasted silently over to the other person.

**
        Paige knew instinctively that she was being followed.  Preparing herself, she shifted out of her nice and warm shape and into a body made of steel.  "What?" she asked as she turned around.

        Sam blinked as he felt his brain slow down.  The first thing that hit him was that her clothes didn't fall off.  When she was really clothed, her clothes fell off when she husked.  And then he realized she had left the boy's dorm at three in the morning.  She was seventeen.  The same age as their mother was when she got pregnant.  His sister was sleeping with Angelo.  Correction, she was having sex with Angelo, because if she was sleeping with him, not even the threat of being discovered could motivate her to get up at this time of night.  Five o'clock was the time the farm started to wake up, the time they were used to getting up at.  Four o'clock was sleeping time.

        Paige relaxed slightly as she realized it was him.  They had talked about sex before and, from the embarrassed way he had acted, she thought he knew she was sleeping with Ange.  "Sorry you had to catch me," she apologized.  "I was trying to be more discreet than this."

        Sam was still fighting for the ability to breathe.  He had suspected that something had been going on between the two of them but he had hoped he was wrong.   "Discreet?" he stuttered.  "Sneakin' out of his room?  Why didn't ya just tell me?  Ask me ta come in?"  His fury was growing.

        His father had talked to him about sex; taught him how to use a condom, talked to him about diseases and the types of women he'd meet outside of Cumberland Gap.  And his father had told him that he was dating somebody's future wife, shown him what the Bible said, and explained that when his mother had gotten pregnant with him, she had to give up a college scholarship and he the GI Bill to get married and raise him right.   And, as corny as it sounded, he wanted to show Rahne how much he had loved her even before he knew he'd marry her by not going to bed with another woman.

        To be fair to his sister, he reminded himself that he and Lila had done a lot of stuff while they had been dating.  The time they had together had been made a lot sweeter and wanting by the long times apart.  And if Lila hadn't cherished who he was, heart and soul, they would have gone all the way.

        The New Mutants were no saints.  Berto had slept with Amara and Dani, both separately and together.  A bitter breakup between the two women was the real reason Amara joined the Hellions.  Something had happened between Kitty and Illyana, something more than friendship.  Rahne had walked in on a private moment between Doug and Roulette.  The Hellions were trained for Hellfire Club membership.  It shouldn't surprise him that Gen-X was following in the old teams' footsteps, but it did.

        He expected better from his sister.  They were conceived and born in the same bed, taken to church together, loved by the same parents.  Why was she so different from him?

        Paige frowned; realizing her brother had been in denial about her love life.  And she wasn't going to apologize to him for her actions.  She had made the choice to sleep with Angelo.  She had been tired of hearing the sermons about waiting until marriage, that sex was sinful.  Instead, she had found it to be stimulating and exciting.  Emma's attitude was more healthy than her church's.  "I'm sorry you found out this way."

        Something about Paige, something in her gesture or her tone of voice said that his little sister was different than the child he remembered.  He gulped, regretting taking her side when his mother had wanted to know if Xavier's school was the best place for her.  "I'm sorry too," he agreed.  "Do you love Angelo?"  It would be better in his mind if she did.

        Paige pursed her lips and shrugged.  "I like him a lot," she admitted.  Love was trickier to her.  She enjoyed the sex, she enjoyed the company, but she didn't think it was love.  But it was a better relationship than most.  "I miss him when he's not there," she added helpfully.

        The words stunned Sam.  He knew that people slept together without love but he didn't expect his sister to be one of them.  "What has Emma been teaching you?" he asked.

        "How to be a successful woman," Paige said, almost gloating.  She was Ms Frost's most promising student, she had even admitted that.  Paige could predict promising IPOs, store seemingly useless pieces of information to use later, triple her money using the stock market, and plot ruthless take-overs.  Ms Frost had even promised to submit her name for consideration for membership in the Hellfire Club when she turned eighteen.

        Sam's definition of a successful woman was a happy, loved woman with a circle of friends and family, a definition far from his sister's.  He shook his head, trying to deny that she had changed this much.  "I don't know you..."

        Paige smiled, thinking she was freed from his shadow.  "This is the new me, Sam.  I'm all grown up now."

        His jaw clenched as he digested that statement.  Unable to speak, not knowing what to say, Sam simply flew off.

**
        Ev woke up at the sound of the blast and shook his head as he saw Paige standing outside.   So Sam had finally found out about his sister and her boyfriend.  It was about time.

        He turned over so that his back was to the window.  Somebody really should say something to the lovebirds, but it wouldn't be him.  Angelo would only snort and suggest he shag Jubilee, followed by an obscene remark about where his nose belonged.  Paige would be colder about it, simply say it was none of his concern.  Jubilee had already tried to talk to Paige and gotten nowhere.

        Ev had spent six years in foster homes before he was placed with his mom and dad.  Six years of good and very bad homes.  He knew what sex was and, thanks to his parents, he knew that sex belonged in a loving relationship.

        Punching his pillow, he reflected that the only thing that Angelo and Paige really had in common was they were the only two getting some on campus.  Jubilee was fourteen and Ev respected that she wanted to wait.  M just didn't care.  If fire came out of Jono's mouth, Ev didn't want to know what would come out of another part of his body.   Paige was a rebel.  Angelo wanted sex.  It was natural they get together.

        Finally, Ev relaxed and started to drift asleep while cursing the couple for causing him to wake up.  The saddest thing of all was that he had been attracted to Paige before Paige had turned into someone so different than the girl he had first met.

**
       A slamming door woke Jubilee out of fitful sleep.  It was strange how the one thing that she had wanted more than anything else in the world was the one thing she hated more that anything else.  She had wanted Ariel to get help, to beat her problems.  On the streets, she had seen too much to believe that the other girl's drug and alcohol problem could just be swept under the rug.

 But Ariel wasn't coming back, or at least not for a long time.  And that stunk.  Nobody else loved shopping, clothes, guys, and such as Ariel did.  That was their friendship, just being normal.  There was nobody else that Jubilee could turn to after an anti-mutant rally and just laugh.  Nobody else she knew who really didn't care about the DNA running around in her bloodstream.  And no one else would make a batch of chocolate chip cookies just to eat the dough while talking about Ricky Martin's butt.

        It hurt, losing someone else.  The one thing that Jubilee's short life had taught her was how to be good at saying goodbye. Logan left her, her parents left her, and now her best friend was going to leave her.  Where could she turn?

        Times like this Jubilee wished she had a big sister-or one that was more normal than Kitty.  Despite her best attempts to corrupt her, Kitty still didn't care about clothes, or movie stars, or music.  All she cared about was her boyfriend and her computers and her team.  However, most of the time when given the option of talking to Emma Frost, Emma Frost lite-aka Paige Guthrie, Miss Priss, the Purple Butterfly or Red, it was easiest to turn to Kitty.  Ariel had confessed that nearly all big sisters were squares that never did the fun stuff or when they did, it was usually embarrassing.

        Art always helped when she felt down.  All these conflicting emotions would flow out of her body and onto a piece of paper and she'd feel much better.  Jubilee sighed as she turned on a light.  Needing the background noise, she turned on the radio and looked at her paper.  This would be a card for Ariel, she decided.  But what?

        'La Vida Loca' started to play as Jubilee got her idea.  What else would fully express her friendship except a naked Ricky Martin holding a bowl full of chocolate chip cookie dough?  She laughed and started to draw.