DISCLAIMER
None of these characters were invented by me(big suprise),
and I'm not making dime one off this, it's only done for the
enjoyment of myself and others.  Please don't sue.  All character
places and names are copyright to Marvel Comics, but this story
is copyrighted 1998 LuNaTiC Publishing.

WARNING
This story contains adult content, including adult language.  If
you would be offended by such content, well then, this story isn't
for you, is it?

There are other worlds besides the prime reality.  Worlds where
things that would not or should not happen do.  They are ElseWhens.

An ElseWhens story by DiScOrD;

The Unforgiven II

what I've felt, what I've known
turn the pages, turn the stone
behind the door
should I open it for you?
what I've felt, what I've known
sick and tired, I stand alone
could you be there?
cause I'm the one who waits for you
or are you unforgiven too?

                          Metallica--"The Unforgiven II"

Logan had the throttle of his big Harley-Davidson fiftieth
anniversery edition motorcycle wide open as he flew down the highway.
As soon as the elf had told him Kitty said he'd know where to meet
her, he'd figured it out.  He'd wondered why at the time, but two
years ago, Kitty had called him about some uncle of her mother's
dying, and she'd told her teacher that the man had left Kitty his
ranch house out in Montana.  Logan was mentally going over the things
he planned to say to his former student, but he didn't know if they
would work, and in the end he decided just to play it by ear.

                 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Logan knocked on the big front door two seperate times before Kitty
opened it.  She didn't even greet him, she just pulled it back and
let him in.  Then she locked it behind him, and showed him into the
living room.  As she went to the kitchen, he looked around.  Nice
place, good solid Montana construction, built to last a long time.
Rustic themes in the decorating, definitely a single guy's house.
A big fire was going in the stone fireplace, and there were two
recliners a short distance away from the hearth.  He stood at the
fire a minute, warming his hands, then Kitty came back in.  She
was holding a bottle of mineral water in her left hand, and a Bud
Ice in her right.  Motioning Logan to sit down, she tossed him the
beer and a bottle opener, and sat down facing him in the other
chair, uncapping her water and taking a long sip.

Her former teacher looked over at her.  "Thanks for the beer, Kit."

She shrugged, as if it was of no consequence.  "I knew you'd be here,
so I got some on the way.  I couldn't remember if it was Bud Ice or
Bud Light."

"Ice, definitely."  Logan looked around the living room suspiciously.
"Somethin'....I smell somethin'....can't....quite put my finger on
it...."

Kitty shrugged again.  "There's probably some organic steel residue
on the katana."

Logan's eyes narrowed.  "Cold, 'Cat.  'S time you faced up to it,
you killed a man."

"I know I killed a man.  But if you think I'm going to cry over it,
you can hit the door right now."

Logan and Kitty sat there for a minute, the silence broken only by
the crackling of the fire.  Well, this is flamin' goin' great, Logan
thought.  Then he decided to switch tracks.  Instead of Piotr, he
wanted to get her talking about Pete.

"Darlin', I wonder if ya know that Pete an' me knew each other."

Kitty looked over at him.  "Yeah, I knew.  Pete told me a couple
days after we got involved.  Said he could tell I was your student."

Logan's gaze was downcast, as he tried to figure some way to put
what he was going to say next.  "Well, didja know that he called me
'fore ya'll got into it after that party?"

"What?"  She'd never guessed this, never even suspected it.

"Yeah, he wanted to let me know about how he was startin' ta feel
about ya, an' he also...."  Logan chuckled a little, "He wanted ta
ask me if you two gettin' together was okay with me."

Kitty was shaking her head bemusedly.  "Why did he ask you that?
And why did you say yes?"

"Well, he asked me 'cause he knew what I would do ta him if he
didn't and then ended up hurtin' ya somehow.  An' I said yes 'cause
I knew he could help ya out."  At Kitty's confused expression, he
decided to elaborate.  "Look, when ya told him about all that shit
with Petey and yer baby, it took him a while to digest.  That's why
he called me, ta see if I thought he could do any good for ya, or
if he should back off for a while."  Logan sighed deeply, and then
took a sip of his beer.  "Now, I know that kid taught ya a lot about
lovin',"  he couldn't help grinning a little at Kitty's embarrassed
blush,  "but I also know he taught ya a damn sight about love.  About
bein' in love, about bein' loved by somebody, an' all that jazz.  An'
he also told ya some o' the things he did for Black Air, didn't he?"
He took another sip of beer as she nodded her head.  "The black ops,
the missions, all the death he saw, all the death he caused, just
like me.  Doin' stuff 'in the line o' duty' until it made ya so sick
inside that ya knew if ya did one more thing ya'd lose it totally."
He got up to put a log on the dwindling fire.  "Me an' Pete, we got
cut from the same cloth, ya might say.  What made us different from
the other ones that done this, was we had a conscience.  We knew what
we was doin', that in most cases it had to be done, but we couldn't
fool our hearts by sayin' it was 'for  the greater good', 'cause we
knew it wasn't."

He sat back down after stoking the fire, and he looked over at his
former student, right in the eyes.

"Ya got ta try an' face up ta what ya did, an' also try to ta
find some sort o' peace about it.  I don't know if I can, I'm
probably too far gone, but this was yer first kill, an' it can be
yer last, too."

"Logan, I hope you're not trying to tell me I need to ask forgiveness
for what I did.  I don't intend to....God and I aren't exactly on
the best of terms right now."  Her eyes suddenly grew colder.  "Like
I'd listen to that anyway, coming from you.  You've killed more
people than cancer."

Logan was losing his patience, and hearing that from his ex-student
wasn't helping.  "I ain't tellin' ya ta ask God for forgiveness,
go atheist, for all I care about that, an' I ain't tellin' ya to ask
Petey's family for forgiveness, they're all dead, I'm tellin' ya
to ask Pete for forgiveness."

Before he could react, Kitty had leapt out of her chair and slapped
him hard across the face.  "Pete's dead, you sick son of a bitch,
don't you remember that!?"

He grabbed her wrists and held her still.  "Yeah, darlin', I do
remember that, but I'll tell you this.  Pete an' me talked a lot
after you two hooked up, an' he woulda done anything to keep you
from becomin' like us, becomin' a killer."  He let her go and
started to stalk around the room like a caged animal as Kitty stood
there, shocked speechless.  "That man loved ya, darlin', he told
ya as much more than once, I know.  An' he woulda done anything
ta make sure ya didn't go down the road we did.  I done a lotta
things I ain't proud of, an' so did he, but him, and me, we'd o'
done anything we could to stop that from bein' your life."

Kitty was trying to process what she was hearing.  "So I killed
somebody, so what?  Piotr made me his judge, jury, and executioner.
He took everything from me.  Everything!  So pardon me if my heart
doesn't exactly bleed because I killed him."

"Well, hell, 'Cat, mine don't either.  But it's partly my fault
that he's dead."

Kitty looked at Logan silently for a moment.  "What are you talking
about, it's your fault?"

"YOU swung the blade, yeah, but I taught ya how ta use it.  Ya
used yer rage, ya focused it, like I taught ya.  Petey might'a
hurt ya, but I'm the one that showed you how to hurt back."

He sat back down, and so did she.  Kitty looked at him.  "Logan,
it's crazy for you to blame yourself for my killing Piotr.  Yes,
you taught me how to fight, you gave me the ability to kill, but
I made the choice myself.  And it doesn't bother me at all.  I am
at peace with it."

Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "I just always
thought...."  His voice trailed off, and he was visibly lost in
concentration.

"Holy shit."  Logan stared at Kitty with a look of shock etched on
his face.  "That scent....I got it placed, now....holy shit, you're
pregnant...."

A small but genuine smile crawled across Kitty's features.  "Yes,
I am."  She put her hand on her lower abdomen.  "The others never
figured it out, but when I went into London a week before I left, I'd
skipped a period, so I got a home pregnancy test.  It was positive.
I didn't believe it, so as I was getting my new costume, the sword,
every time I went, I got another test, from a different store.  And
they all said the same thing."  She brushed her hair from out in
front of her eyes.  "I guess no birth control is one hundred percent
effective."  She smiled again, but her heart wasn't in this one.
"Now I'll have something of Pete for the rest of my life."

Logan looked at her long and hard before responding.  "So, what, yer
just gonna cut the X-Men out o' yer life?  You know Moira's the best
one to do stuff fer the kid, don't ya?"

"Yes, Logan, I'm not an idiot, but I'm not planning on going back
to Excalibur anytime soon."  She looked down.  "Not after what I did
to Brian....Rahne....Kurt...."

"Ah, they know you wasn't in yer right mind when ya done that."
Logan finished off the beer, and sat the bottle on the floor.  "An'
if ya don't wanna go back ta Muir, come back to Westchester with
me, and let Hank take care o' ya."

Kitty shook her head.  "I really don't want to have anything to do
with things that have an 'X' insignia right now, Logan.  I want....
I NEED to distance myself from all of that insanity."

"Well, what about givin' up on the dream?"  Logan was running out
of ammo.

She looked at him like she couldn't believe that he had just said
that.  "The dream."

He looked over at her.  "Ya know, the Kitty Pryde I know would
never give up on somethin' she felt was right."

Kitty glared at him.  "Well Logan, I'm not the same Kitty Pryde I
was when I was your student in the X-Men.  I moved halfway across
the country at thirteen and a half, put my life on the line almost
every damn week since, I've seen things that would leave most people
cross-eyed and drooling in the nuthouse, went through ungodly
amounts of crap with Ogun, the White Queen, the Beyonder, got that
damn SoulSword bonded to me, got pregnant, lost the baby, and almost
died at fourteen, my parents got divorced, I haven't seen my dad in
three years, my mom in two, I tried to start fresh in Excalibur,
thought all of you got killed in Dallas,"  She failed to notice
Logan's guilty wince at that reminder, "the crap with Sat-Yr-Nine,
Illyana's dead, my best friend Rachel's off imitating Mother Teresa
two thousand years in the future, I meet someone, THE someone, as far
as I was concerned, I love him, he loves me, and then he gets
slaughtered by my ex-boyfriend, all of it in the pursuit of some
ethereal 'dream'.  And what has it gotten me?"  She looked around the
room.  "An empty house, a dead child, a dead lover, and I'm going to
be raising a fatherless baby as a single mom at the age of nineteen.
Did I leave anything out?"

Logan didn't even try to argue with her, it was the truth and he
knew it.  The bitterness in her voice had taken all the wind out
of his sails.

"Well, you know what?  I can't do it anymore.  I can't give the
X-Men, or the Professor, or Excalibur, or the dream anything else,
I DON'T HAVE IT TO GIVE, and I wouldn't if I did."

He looked at her and saw the anguish in her brown eyes as she wiped
a tear away.

"Logan, as far as I'm concerned, the dream is dead."

                 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

"Elf, me an' Kitty are comin' ta Muir to visit Pete's grave.  I
want ya to take everyone inta Kinross for the day."  The other end
of the line was silent for a few seconds, and Logan almost thought
they'd lost the connection.

"Ja, mein freund.  I will do this for her."  Logan breathed a sigh
of relief.  "Just tell her...."  Kurt's voice was heavy with concern,
"tell her that she is always welcome on Excalibur."

"I will, elf.  I will."  Logan hung up the phone, and then called
Remy at the mansion to fly out a BlackBird on autopilot to Montana.

The next morning, Kitty and Logan were over the Atlantic by 11:00
a.m., with Logan having convinced Kitty that she needed to do this.
Kitty was nervous about going back to Muir, but Logan assured her
that Excalibur was gone, that they would only stay to see them
if she wanted to.  Then, they were landing on the strip at the north
end of the island, and they began the trudge towards the Center's
south end, an area of gentle rolling hills that overlooked the cliffs.

Kitty walked up a small rise and stopped at the summit, looking
down, she read the simple slab marker for the first time in over a
month.

                           PETER PAUL WISDOM

                               28 YEARS

Kneeling down, Kitty laid a white carnation on the ground in front
of the headstone.  Logan stood a distance away, just out of the
range of his enhanced hearing, wanting to give her some privacy.

"Hullo, love."  She said, mimicking his London accent.  "I just
wanted to tell you, even if you already know, Piotr is dead.  I
killed him."  Kitty's eyes started to fill with tears.  "I don't
regret it, I don't regret it at all.  I just wanted to avenge your
death.  I wanted him to die.  It felt real good."  A few tears
started to roll down Kitty's cheeks.  "For about half a day.  Then
it all came back.  All the hurt, all the pain, the loneliness....God,
I miss you."  She was crying now.  "Pete, I loved you so much.  I
still do.  I wish you were here with me, I want you to hold me so bad
I can't stand it...."  Kitty placed one hand on the cool stone as her
sobs increased.  "I....guess you probably know this, but....I'm
pregnant."  A smile broke through the tears.  "Our baby, Pete.  And
I'm going to do the best I can to tell it everything I know about
its father."  She kissed her fingertips and laid them against the
headstone.

Logan walked up behind her as she stopped talking, and he helped her
to her feet.  Kitty broke down totally as she stood up, and sank back
to her knees, sobbing.  Her former mentor knelt down beside her, and
let her cry on his shoulder as she wept like she hadn't since the
night Pete was killed.

                 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

                              Epilouge

Excalibur came back later that evening, and Kurt noticed as they
taxied into the hangar that the BlackBird was still on the landing
strip.  Seeing Logan wave at the window, Kurt waved back as the jet
took off, leaving Muir behind in a haze of exhaust.  After getting
off the Midnight Runner, the group went inside, to the TV room.
Switching on the light, they got quite a suprise.  Kitty was sitting
there, waiting for them.  Wagner couldn't quite believe it, and he
wasn't sure what to think.  She looked fine, but then, she'd looked
fine a few days ago, too.

"Katzchen?"  She smiled as she nodded at him.

"Kurt.  How are you?"  The smile faded as she saw Rahne and Brian
come in, Rahne's jaw obviously wired shut, and Brian's midsection
thickly taped beneath his shirt.

"Fine, we are all fine.  What of you?  Where did you go?"

"Mmmtanma"  Rahne attempted to speak, only to be quickly hushed by
her mother.  Kitty nodded.  She'd forgotten that Rahne knew about
the house.

"Montana, right.  I had a great-uncle who left me a house."
She got up and walked over to her oldest friend.  "Are you really
okay?  I mean....after what I....did...."

Kurt put an arm around her to reassure her, but was totally unprepared
when she started to cry and hugged him.  A bit flustered at first,
he quickly figured out that she had been trying to ease into an
apology.

"Shh, Katzchen, it is all right.  You did not hurt me permanantly.
We blue-furred German teleporting mutants are very resiliant."
He smiled to himself at her laugh, and then she looked at all of them
in turn.

"Brian, Rahne, Doug, Amanda, I'm so sorry for what I did to you.  I
can't excuse it, but can you forgive me?"

Brian had a small grin on his face as he came forward to hug her.
"Of course I can forgive you, you fiery little chit."  Rahne laid a
hand on Kitty's shoulder and nodded her assent as well.

"Well," she said, her tears stopping, "I guess since I'm back....am
I back?"  She smiled again at the unison of nods, "I'm....going to
need another room."

Now Moira was confused.  "Well, there willnae be a problem, but why,
lass?"

Kitty smiled shyly.  "The baby's going to need its own bedroom."

Excalibur stood there slack-jawed for a minute.  Kitty started to
get nervous.  "Moira, I wouldn't advise putting Amanda or Meggan
through that birth-control treatment of yours."  That broke the spell,
and Meggan, Rahne, and Moira began yelling and hugging Kitty gingerly,
while Brian and Kurt stood there still shocked.

"Query,"  Douglock began.

"Later."  Brian muttered.

Kitty Pryde felt her heart begin to knit together again at the love
and support her teammates were giving her.  It would take time, a
long time for her to get over losing Pete, but with her friends and
a baby on the way, she knew it would happen one day.

                 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

The End