Disclaimer: Doyle, Cordelia, Angel, etc. were created by Joss Whedon and are owned by Twentieth Century Fox, the WB, Mutant Enemy and other big bads. All characters from the Marvel Universe including Illyana Rasputin (Magik) belong to Marvel, and I don't claim any of them. The lawyers can go away now, 'kay?
 

Have you ever felt your body dissolve?

 No, I didn't think so. Can't say I expected any other answer. I would guess it's not too common an experience, not even in nightmares, and I'm a bit of an expert on those.

 You watch those television shows with people beaming here and there, and it looks quite nice, doesn't it?

 Let me tell you, it wasn't nice at all. In fact, it hurt like the bloody blue blazes, which was not a great surprise, considering that I thought I was dying. You sort of expect that to hurt, don't you?

 I surely didn't expect there to be anything after that, at least, not anything I'd want to see.

 I was ready to go, but did it have to hurt so much?
 

The light that was all around me seemed to shrink down all of a sudden to a small circle under my feet (I was surprised to find that I still had feet, after all) and then suddenly the light went out altogether, like someone had turned it off, and I fell down into darkness.

 Well, at least the pain stopped when the light went out.

 This was all right so far, it was what I expected. Staying aware of it was the surprising part. I didn't know why I was still in my own body, or why it seemed like all the parts of it were still there, and still attached, even though I couldn't see a thing. Shouldn't I have been melted to nothing already by this point?

 Instead, I was sitting up in the dark, running my hands which were still there over my legs and the rest of my body, and finding, to my astonishment, that everything was still there. I could hear the sound of my own heart beating, the pulse that was pounding in my ears gradually slowing down to normal.

 I might be blind, couldn't tell that yet, but everything else seemed to be in place and working.

 So, if I wasn't dead and in hell quite yet, where was I?

 Then my light-dazzled eyes started to adjust, and I realized that I wasn't blind, after all. Although the light was very dim, I began to see shapes forming in the darkness around me.

 Then I heard the first of the voices, a deep gravelly one with an undertone of amusement.

 "Are you sure this is the one you wanted, boss? Looks like just another puny human to me."

 "Only half-human, and he's rather cute. Yes, that's the one I wanted." The second voice seemed to be that of a young girl, but the tone in her voice didn't sound like any girl I'd ever want to see.

 "Your call, boss. Doesn't look like he'll be of much use, though."

 "I have something very specific in mind for him. Go find something to play with, I'm going to be busy for awhile."

 "Sure thing, boss, I'm outta here."

 Light came up slowly around me. I was sitting on the floor in what looked like a bare, empty room. Sitting on the floor also, across from me, was a beautiful blonde girl who looked only about sixteen. Great to look at, yeah, but there was something about her eyes and her smile that made me think about worse things than dying.

 "Hi, Doyle. Welcome to Limbo."

 "Limbo? And who might you be, then?"

 " My name is Illyana. At this particular point in space-time, I'm the mistress of this place. And I understand that you are the Promised One I've heard so much about."

 "Sorry if I seem a bit dense, but I didn't quite get that."

 "No problem. Oh, don't worry if you feel a little dizzy for awhile yet. Getting you here was a bit rough, as I'm sure you noticed."

 "Couldn't miss it."

 "Shall we make this place a little more comfortable for you?" She waved her hand, and suddenly the room was a duplicate of my apartment, and I was sitting on what looked, and even smelled, like my own bed.

 So was she.... and it's not that big a bed.

 Normally, if I had a beautiful young girl like that sitting that close to me on a bed, my mind would be on other things, but, being dead or something close to it, all that I could think about was whether she had fangs or not.

 "Ah... what's going on?"

 "Good question," and she flashed a dangerous-looking smile at me. Yep, I had the feeling I was definitely about to become breakfast.

 "I happened to spot you in my scrying pool, Doyle, and found you rather... interesting. Did you know that you've become a legend among demons? In another when and where, you've got yourself quite an admiration society."

 "Oh? Do tell," I said uneasily. "Although the parts about space-time and other whens and wheres are a bit beyond me, I'm thinkin'."

 "One of the perks of being ... who I am," and there was that lethal-looking smile again, " is getting to see many whens and wheres besides my own. Sometimes I get rather bored here, you see, and it's fun to see which faces keep popping up over and over again in different paths and places. So many different ways that things can happen, you know?"

 "Ahh, okay."

 "Hmmm, I haven't been a very good hostess. I bet you'd like a drink, wouldn't you?"

 "Only if it isn't blood."

 "Guaranteed blood-free." She extended her hand toward me and there was suddenly a full glass in it, that hadn't been there before. Having nothing much else to do, I took it.

 Remembering old tales from childhood about taking food or drink from certain folk made me hesitate, but the smell was too wonderful to resist. The first tentative taste was all I needed, and I gulped down the rest.

 "Enjoy. Well, there are some folks who seem to have a little more impact on the various paths than others. Your friend Angel and his slayer girlfriend, for example... and you."

 "Me? Why me?" I looked down at my glass, which had been empty a moment ago, and noticed that it was full again.... and I drank.

 "You're quite an interesting fellow, Doyle. A lot of things depend on you, in a lot of different paths. You know, there have been quite a few humans who have given up their lives for other humans. It happens all the time. But dying to save demons? Now that's unusual. You might know, demons don't get much of that sort of thing."

 "Yeh, whatever. If I'm recalling it right, there was at least one human present at the time, but far be it from me to argue with a lady like yourself. May I have some more of this fine beverage, then?" The glass refilled, and I emptied it again.

 "Let's see that demon face of yours up close, shall we?" Illyana reached over and touched my chin, and suddenly without my own volition, I felt my demon face come out, and I jumped.

 "Ah! That's one friggin' peculiar sensation, girl. How d'ye do the things you do?"

 "I'll show you. Ever played that old game, you show me yours, and I'll show you mine?" She smiled, and changed. Suddenly the beautiful girl sitting next to me on my bed was a red, horned creature with a tail wrapped around her legs. I couldn't help pulling away, even though it most likely wasn't the wisest thing in the world to be doing right now. I definitely needed a few more drinks.

 "Don't worry, Doyle," and she changed back while speaking, "I'm not planning to do you any harm. I have something else in mind for you. Have another drink," and as the glass refilled, I felt my face return to human, again without myself having anything to do with it.

 "Don't mind if I do."

 "As I was saying, there are plenty of human heroes out there trying to help other humans. There are mutants out there trying to help other mutants, and they will usually help humans too, since that's where they came from. Demons, on the other hand, don't get too many defenders, and when one comes along, legends tend to follow."

 "So, there's something that you want from me, then?"

 "Let's just say that I have some ideas about what might happen if you were to go back to the where and when you came from. I can't tell you what exactly, because that would spoil the fun, wouldn't it?"

 "Would it then? Somehow I don't think I'll be the one having fun, yeah?"

 "Oh, it won't be totally without fun for you either. That much I can promise you. But, let's just say that I enjoy playing with elsewhens whenever I can, and it would be great fun to watch what happens if I make a few little changes to yours."

 "So what's my part in this to be?"

 "You'll have to find out as you go along. If you're game to give it a try, that is."

 "What's my alternative?"

 She shrugged and smiled a bit, and I noticed her eyes going red for a moment. And when I say red, I don't mean bloodshot either.

 "Who knows? Probably less attractive than what you left behind."

 She waved her hand slightly, and an image appeared directly in front of me. It was Cordelia, lying in bed, sobbing. There was no sound, just the sight of her lovely face, now red and twisted with her tears.

 I couldn't help it. I jumped back from the image, and gasped. "Girl, just how cruel do you want to be?"

 "I can be as cruel, or as kind, as I choose. I'm choosing to be kind, if you want another chance to be with that one there," and she gestured toward the suspended image, which narrowed down and disappeared.

 "At what price?"

 "Only my amusement. It's a small price to pay, really."

 "That's all? Your amusement? Nothing about souls or anything of that like?"

 "No, nothing about souls."

 "Why are you doing this then?"

 "Because we have so much in common, Doyle. Because I'm bored, and most of all," she grinned wickedly, "because you're cute."

 Keeping her human face on, she leaned forward and kissed me, quickly but hard. Her lips felt warm and quite normal.

 "So, what shall it be?" she whispered, still leaning in close, her lips near mine. "Feel like giving life another try?"

 "I never could say no to a beautiful girl. Just one thing, though -"

 "Yes?"

 "When you send me back, or beam me back or whatever it is that you do, does it have to hurt quite so much?"

 Illyana laughed. "It won't hurt a bit this time. Step off the bed now, and I'll show you."

 I stood up, and with her small gesture toward my feet, I saw a ring of light growing underneath me. In a moment the illusion of my bedroom dropped away, and I was standing on the light-circle and nothing else.

 "Go fulfill your destiny, Doyle, the promised one. I'll be watching."
 

She was right. This time, it didn't hurt at all.