Chapter 13 – What To Do
Buffy ran. She didn't think twice about it, she just turned, pushed past Spike and ran. Nine blocks away, she finally stopped.
As she doubled over, out of breath, her mind was racing. He didn't. He couldn't have. How could he have been so stupid?
Spike ran up to her. "You all right?" he asked, ducking down to look at her face.
She stood and pushed him away. Not hard. Not far. Just enough so she could have more space to catch her breath. "Do. I look. Okay?" she asked.
"You look like you're hyperventilating, is what you look like," he said, grabbing her shoulder. "Sit down, Slayer. Put your head between your knees."
Buffy let him guide her down to the curb. He stroked the back of her neck as she hung her head down. Eventually, her breathing returned to normal, but a sick feeling of panic lodged itself in her belly. Like one two many mozzarella sticks—and as the food thought crossed her brain, Buffy turned her head and threw up in the street.
"That's twice you've heaved your guts in front of me, Buffy. Do it again and you're gonna give me a complex."
Buffy wiped her mouth with her sleeve and tried to stand. Spike caught her around the waist. "Where do you want to go, love?" he asked.
"Home," Buffy said.
"Your dorm room?"
"No. Home."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buffy used her key to get inside her house. She left the front door open behind her, expecting Spike to follow her in. He did, closing the door with a firm push.
Buffy walked over to the couch and sank down into it. She looked up at Spike. "How did you find him?" she asked.
"I heard tell he was getting suck jobs in the alley behind Willy's. I followed him to that vamp den last night. Didn't know he was gonna get himself turned or I might have..."
Buffy looked away.
He sat next to her. "Hate that it's me telling you this, Buffy. But I thought you needed to know."
"Aren't you all noble with your 'thought you should know' crap," Buffy said, turning on him. "Do you think I'll fall into your arms now, grateful to you for enlightening me?"
"Well, thought you might need a bit of comfort. And if that means falling into my arms..."
"I thought you were done, Spike. Isn't that what you told me?"
"Yeah," Spike said, staring at the floor. "That's what I said all right."
They were both silent for a minute. Then Buffy asked, "When did Riley get--turned?"
"Think it was last night. I was hanging about that place today since he never came out. When I saw him tonight, I came to find you."
"I thought you were on campus tonight, saving some co-eds."
"You heard about that, huh? Incidental. It happened while I was looking for you. You led me on a merry chase this evening. I went to your dormitory first, then the Bronze, then your patrolling haunts, then here, then back to your dorm where I finally found you."
"What, you couldn't just sniff me out?"
"Guess not," Spike said. "I smell you everywhere. I'm drowning in your scent, Summers ."
Buffy ignored that. Instead she said, "It's my fault. Riley. It's all my fault."
"Now, cut that out. Finn's a big boy. He had to know what he was getting into, right? Him being ex-Initiative and all."
"But he never would have... If I hadn't with you..."
Spike laughed harshly and shook his head. "Knew you'd put this on me somehow."
"You don't think you had anything to do with this?"
"I think you're spending too much time playing the blame game and not enough plotting your next move, Slayer."
"I've got to go back there. I've got to stake him," Buffy said. She put her head in her hands. "Why is this so hard? He's not Riley anymore, is he? I mean, the demon replaces the person, right?"
"Is that what your Watcher told you?" Spike asked. "Of course it is," he continued, not allowing her to answer. "Well that's bloody priceless. Not that I don't want you to stake the git , but demons are like people—you can't just lump us all together. We all have shades of gray, Buffy. Even you."
She looked at him. "So you're saying that Riley might still be Riley somewhere in there."
"Could you stake him if he was?"
"I don't know. I need Giles."
Spike put his arm around her shoulder and drew her to his side. She surprised herself by not protesting. "What you need is a clearer head. Rest a bit. You can see Giles in the morning."
"You don't think Riley will go after him and the rest of the gang, do you?"
"He might. But not tonight. He'll have plenty to eat where he is right now."
"Oh God," Buffy said.
"Just rest, pet."
She reluctantly closed her eyes.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buffy vaguely remembered Spike's lips on her cheek and him saying something about dawn coming. Which must have meant he was leaving because when she woke up on the couch with an afghan draped over her, he was gone.
"Buffy?" her mom said, coming into the room. "What are you doing sleeping on the couch?"
"I, uh, was patrolling near here and got too tired to go back to the dorm." Buffy sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "How did your date go yesterday?"
Joyce smiled. "Brian was wonderful. We're going on a picnic today. Actually, in a couple hours. Did you want to come with?"
"What? No. No thanks, Mom. I couldn't go on your date with you. Just tell him he better treat you right or he'll have me to deal with."
"I'm glad to see you, honey. Is everything okay? You look tired," Joyce said.
"Well, I did just wake up. And there have been some late nights with patrolling and studying, but I'm okay. Really. Just peachy."
Joyce looked at her for a moment. "Okay, but know that I'm always here for you to talk to if you need me."
Buffy stood up and hugged her mom. "I know. I love you." She stepped back. "I think I'll go up and shower."
Joyce nodded and Buffy escaped up the stairs.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Giles opened his apartment door after Buffy pounded on it.
"Good heavens, Buffy. It's ten o'clock on a Sunday morning. What could be so important?" Giles asked, letting her inside.
"Riley's a vamp," Buffy said bluntly.
Giles laughed. "It sounded like you said Riley's a vampire."
"I did, Giles."
Giles stopped laughing. "What happened?"
"Apparently he's been spending his evenings getting sucked on by vamp whores. One took a little too much, I guess, and well..."
"I never would have imagined Riley allowing a vampire to turn him. Extraordinary."
"Not so much," Buffy said.
"Oh, Buffy. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be insensitive. I'm sure this must be a horrible shock for you."
"You could say that." Buffy sat on one of the stools at Giles's counter. "Thing is, I think he did it because of me."
Giles sat at his desk and turned the chair around to face her. "Why would you think that?"
"He found out something."
Giles reached for his tea and raised the cup to his mouth. "What's that?" he asked before taking a sip.
"He found out Spike and I have been sleeping together."
Giles spit the tea all over the hardwood floor. Buffy grabbed a towel off the counter and went to wipe it up.
"Leave it," Giles said. "You're doing what with Spike?"
"Sleeping with him. Well, there was only the one time that involved any actual sleeping."
"I rather not have the details, if you don't mind."
Buffy sat back on the stool. "Right," she said. "I'm not proud of it, Giles. And I'm not planning on doing it again. But Riley did find out. And now he's a vamp."
Giles took his glasses off and polished them quickly. "We have to warn the others."
"I know."
"What's your plan?" he asked, slipping his glasses back on.
"I guess I have to stake him." Buffy stared at her hands. "I cared—care—about him, Giles. I hurt him. I feel as though I've already killed him."
Giles stood and put his arms around her. "I'm so sorry, Buffy."
Finally, her tears came.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
After she cried out all her pain and frustration and fear, Buffy left Giles's apartment and went back to her dorm to call Willow and Xander. They, along with Tara and Anya, showed up at Buffy's door within the next twenty minutes. Buffy let them in.
Xander stared hard at her as he walked past. "What's with the cryptic 'Come now because we need to talk' stuff, Buff?" He settled himself on Buffy's desk chair. Willow and Tara sat on Buffy's bed while Anya hovered at Xander's shoulder.
"Cryptic calls from you are never good," Anya said.
"Guys," Buffy said, "I have something pretty horrible to tell you. It's about Riley."
"You broke up?" Willow asked. "I mean, officially?"
"No. Well, yes. But no, that's not it. Last night... Last night, Riley became a vampire."
"A what? To who? Where?" Xander asked.
"Riley had his blood sucked and then sucked a vampire's blood. You know the drill, sweetie," Anya said, patting his shoulder.
"Oh God. Buffy," Tara said. "What happened?"
"Weren't you listening?" Anya asked.
"Ahn , enough!" Xander said. "We're trying to process here. Buffy, what--"
"Spike said he was turned last night."
"Spike?!" Xander shouted. "What does Spike have to do with this?"
"I'm trying to tell you, Xander, if you'll just calm down," Buffy told him.
"What's amazing to me is how calm you are about this, Buffy. Didn't you care for Riley at all?"
"Xander!" Willow said.
"Look at her, Will. She's got that 'I'm going to slay that demon' look in her eye. And it's a look for Riley, for Christ's sake."
"Xander, the Riley we know is gone. What's left is a soulless thing. It's my job to slay him."
"If that's true, why the hell haven't you slayed Spike yet? Huh, Buffy?" Xander stood and crossed the room to her. "And don't tell me it's just because of his chip."
"Spike's different," Buffy said quietly.
"Different how? Because you let yourself be kissed by him?"
Buffy looked at Willow. "Did you tell him?"
Willow wrung her hands. "We were worried about you, Buffy. We wondered if you were thinking clearly about Spike."
"Is that why Riley became a vamp, Buff? Because he knew you'd only get really hot for him if he was one?"
Buffy slapped Xander across the face. Instantly everyone froze. Buffy's bright red handprint appeared on Xander's cheek. She couldn't take her eyes off it.
She took a deep breath. "Xan —I'm sorry. All of you—I'm sorry. Maybe you're right, Xander. God knows I've been beating myself up with that thought since last night. But Riley's already dead. And now I need to get rid of what was left behind." Buffy went to the bed and slid her weapons chest out from under it. She grabbed two stakes and a knife, which she stuck in her boot. She pushed the chest back under the bed and stood. "I know this is something I have to do on my own. But I wanted you all to know what was going on—and to know not to let Riley in if you see him."
"Where are you going?" Willow asked.
"I'm going back to the place Spike and I saw Riley last night. And I'm going to burn it to the ground."
She left, slamming the door behind her.