Title: A Place in Chaos 1/?
Author: Foxhunt2blue
Summary: When there is nothing, but chaos then you
must find your place...
Rating: NC-17 (all over rating)
Pairing: Angel/Spike
Spoilers: Season 1 "Blind Date" & Post-Ep for Season 5
"Not Fade Away."
Disclaimer: Our wonderful Joss created them I had
nothing to do with it—wish I had. Frankly, the boys
would be a lot happier with me as their mama! *web
Feedback: Please feed the baby slash ho' cause she
can be quite pathetic. She cries all night if she doesn't
get her daily dose of feedback. *giggle
E-mail: foxhunter2blue@peoplepc.com
 
***

Prologue
 
Somewhere in the Southern California Desert
May 2004
 
Fading sunlight in the western desert sky skimmed the
top of the high adobe walls of the meditation garden
with a luminescent gold. Within the garden the
shadows were already lengthening, growing into night,
though it mattered not to the young woman who sat
on the edge of the reflecting pool. Most though
would have marveled at the exquisite shades of gold
and reds in the west, the blues and lavenders in the
east.
 
To Maia Chang, it was something she could not admire
like others. She had been born blind to the human
world, but there were far greater things she could see
than most.
 
"Maia?"
 
Lifting her head, she turned at the sound of her
companion Night. He was in all ways her family despite
being Indian rather than Chinese. He and Sean were
her brothers in spirit. Sean's soft lilting accent
followed Night's more cultured inquiry.
 
"Maia, love, what would you be doing out here alone?"
 
She smiled behind the veil of her raven black hair as
her milky eyes lowered back to the surface of the
pool. "Meditating...what else Sean?"
 
Night settled next to her, his milky eyes drifting to the
pool as well. "Do you see what we do?"
 
The smile faded as Sean took his place at her other
side. She knew that if she were able to see that Sean's
own blind eyes would be hidden behind his ever-
present aviators. Even now after almost six years, he
felt discomfort at the looks so many would aim his
way.
 
"Dearest Night whatever do you think?"
 
Night ran his slender fingers through his thick shaggy
black hair, his eyes drifting shut. "You know of what I
speak, Maia."
 
"Aye, that you do, love. We knew this day would come
sooner or later."
 
With a curt nod Maia stood with a soft swish of silk,
her bare feet padding along the brick courtyard to
the swing bench that sat beneath the willow tree. If
someone were watching, they would have never
guessed she was blind. She moved with a grace that
spoke of a dancer, not a blind seer. Sitting she tucked
one foot beneath her, using the other to push the
swing back and forth.
 
"Darkness..." she whispered, "...darkness and chaos. The
likes of which humanity has never witnessed before."
 
Sean stood moving to where she sat plopping down
on the swing seat. "Darkness and chaos...I suppose now
it might not be as bad as it sounds."
 
"Do not be making light of the situation, Sean. This is
what we were meant for from the moment of our
birth." Night's words were sharp as a blade, sinking
into Sean's gut.
 
"The angel...he has fallen." Maia's soft words silenced
any further retaliation Sean may have contemplated.
 
***
 
Los Angeles
May 2004
 
Angel swiped at the rain and blood that threatened to
blind him as the hordes of a million hells continued
swarming into the narrow alley. Alleys, he thought,
they'd played far more parts in his long life than he
cared to admit.
 
He'd been born to darkness in an alley.
 
His favored childe, who now fought valiantly at his
side, had been born in an alley.
 
Then there was his son, Conner. He'd been born in an
alley as well, in a storm just like this one.
 
A silent prayer escaped his lips that Conner had
escaped as he sliced yet another howling demon in
half. As long as Conner lived, he wouldn't fear what lay
ahead.
 
"Bloody hell, Angel! Watch out!"
 
Jerking back to the present Angel glanced up just as
the dragon swooped in again, its gleaming black talons
skimming his chest as he stumbled back. A quick nod
to Spike and he turned with a wide sweep of his leg
taking down an Ethros demon.
 
"Spike!" He roared as he saw the dragon's tail sweep
around, the shiny curved dagger tip aiming for Spike's
back.
 
Spike spun on heel, his leather duster swirling around
him, his eyes gleaming gold as the tip of the tail sank
into his gut. An animalistic roar of agony exploded
from Spike as the tip exploded from his back in a
shower of blood and shredded flesh.
 
"SPIKE!!" Angel screamed as he felt Spike's pain. He'd
never admitted it to Spike, but their connection was
far deeper than even he and Darla had possessed.
 
Watching in horror Angel ran as fast as he could as
the dragon lifted Spike's body up from the ground
with a howl of triumph. Even from this distance, he
could see the pain in Spike's eyes as his face shifted to
full out, pissed-off vamp. Arm lifting Spike swung the
sword he held with a strength that even amazed
Angel and struck.
 
A shower of acidic blood arced through the darkness,
droplets splattering across Angel as he leapt up,
fingers grabbing at the dragon's scaly leg. Tendrils of
smoke rose from his coat as the blood ate through
the leather while he desperately clung to the dragon
while trying to avoid the thrashing tail.
 
Another wail of agony tore from Spike's useless lungs
as he writhed like some unholy shish-ka-bob on the
dragon's tail. His sword slipped from his grasp clatter-
ing to the rain slicked pavement far below as he dug
his fingers into the scaly tail. Angel flinched as he
watched Spike slowly pull the tail from his ravaged
abdomen.
 
"Spike...Will! Hang on!" Angel began scaling the huge
muscled legs, his bloody fingers seeking purchase
between the razor sharp scales.
 
In the distance, he caught a momentary glimpse of
Illyria cutting a path through the swarming demons,
Gunn's lifeless body over her shoulder. Angel suddenly
felt his gut twist into a knot as he thought of all those
he'd lost---Doyle, Cordy, Fred, Wes, and now Gunn. A
red veil of murderous hatred descended over his eyes,
clouding all logical thought. Deep inside him the
demon roared in anger, the voice of Angelus whisper-
ing in his ear 'Fuck the powers that be! Where are they
now lad? When you would be needing them the
most?'.
 
Yes in did, he thought, where were they?
 
Finding strength in his fury, Angel leapt from the
dragon's leg, his body gliding through the air smoothly
as he grabbed for the tail. Legs wrapped tightly
around the tail, muscles flexing in his thighs, Angel's
gaze lifted to the stormy sky.
 
"I've lost everything you bastards!" His voice rose in a
furious scream. "Sacrificed everyone I ever loved!"
 
Spike watched through pain filled eyes as Angel was
consumed by the blood fury he'd suppressed for far
too long. He struggled to pull himself off the dagger
sharp tail, his insides shredding as his teeth clenched,
and ground together.
 
"Don't Angel!" His voice cracked with the effort to
hold back the agony his body was in. "This is what the
bloody bastards want!"
 
Angel didn't hear Spike's desperate words all he heard
was the roaring in his ears as he gave Angelus free
reign. "You make promises you can't keep!" His eyes
flashed gold as he raised his arms up, sword clenched
tightly in his bruised and bleeding hands. "I won't give
him up as well! NO MORE!!!"
 
Roaring Angel brought the blade down, his face
shifting as the demon within was released. The sword
pierced the dragon's spine with a wet crunching
sound, and then he twisted the blade, sending the
huge body into convulsions.
 
"Angel!" Spike screamed as loud as he could the final
portion of the dragon's spiked tail ripping from his
gut, taking a good portion of his intestine with it.
 
Fire spurting from its nostrils the dragon reared back,
huge leathery wings creating a hurricane of wind that
reeked of death and chaos. As it writhed and roared
out its fury Spike clung to the tip of its tail with one
hand, his gaze shifting from Angel to the ground that
seemed so damned far below. He could feel his grip
slipping slowly and he knew that no matter what this
would end the same---his death.
 
"Angel!" He cried out one last time, desperate to catch
his sire's attention.
 
Far above him, Angel was clinging precariously to the
dragon's scaly hide as he climbed its spine. Spike's
vision was blurring, fading around the edges as his
life's blood poured from the gaping hole in his
abdomen. Gasping for an unneeded breath, he tried to
hold on.
 
"Vampire with a soul!" Spike screamed louder his vocal
cords seemingly on fire.
 
Above him, suddenly Angel halted his ascent, gazing
back down with demonic eyes. Just as sudden the gold
melted into a mahogany brown, his demon suppressed
for a split second.
 
Spike grinned smugly in the knowledge of what was
about to happen. "Can't be two of us you bleedin'
ponce! Making it easy for the lot!"
 
Shaking his head a light of understanding lit up Angel's
eyes. "NO!"
 
"Way it has to be, luv!"
 
With a final nod, Spike released his grip, his body
plummeting to the ground. Angel let out a howl of
despair as Spike fell turning and impaling the dragon's
heart with his sword.
 
"Nooo!!!" His anguish in that moment knew no bounds
as he twisted the blade with all his inhuman strength.
 
Beneath the dragon's body, caught in the throes of
death, a portal shimmered in the smoky air. As Spike's
vision faded away there was a crackle of electricity
and the portal swallowed him.
 
Angel saw none of this.
 
He was consumed by his anguish as he began tearing
at the dragon's dying body with his bare hands,
ripping chunks of flesh away. He didn't feel the pain as
the acidic blood ate away the skin on his hands. All
Angel felt was the lose of the only being he'd ever
really loved with his entire being.
 
"I signed it away...I signed it away...away..." he sobbed
as he continued ripping the dragon apart.
 
***
 
Three Days Later
 
Illyria squatted in the shadows next to Angel as she
checked the bandages on his hands. She cocked her
head to the side her wide ethereal blue eyes studying
the silent vampire.
 
"You feel...grief. Grief for the blonde one." She
refocused her gaze on his now unbandaged hands as
she probed the barely healed flesh. "Starving will not
bring Spike back."
 
For the first time in three days Angel moved, his dark
eyes focusing on Illyria's face. "Don't..." he hissed.
"Don't you ever speak his name again."
 
A soft snort escaped Illyria as she began rewrapping
Angel's trembling hands. "You annoy me half-breed.
Do you believe that to not speak of them will ease this
emotion? You are a fool."
 
"Don't." Angel clenched his teeth trying to bite back
the tears that swelled in his throat.
 
"Death is a part of your existence. Wesley knew..."
 
"Don't!" This time Angel screamed as he pulled away
from the woman. "You have no right to speak any of
their names!"
 
Standing on weak legs, he hissed at the burn of
shattered ribs, strained muscles, but this was a pain he
could survive. This was a pain he knew intimately.
 
"He was brave at the end. To not speak of him is to
say his death meant nothing. Just as Spike's death
means nothing. I had thought a sire and his childe
possessed a strong link."
 
Angel fell to his knees, his shoulders shaking with
repressed sobs. Death and chaos surrounded him on
all sides, the air reeked of it, but if he could just
forget, the pain would stop. Of course, Illyria had not
allowed him the smallest reprieve. The first few days
he'd retreated into his own mind, but the pain---the
physical pain---had drawn him back bit by bit.
 
Beyond the walls of the warehouse, where they now
hid Angel could hear the chaos. Los Angeles was a war
zone like no other in the history of the earth. The
sounds of death, destruction, and suffering were
everywhere. All he could think of though were Spike's
final words.
 
//Can't be two of us you bleedin' ponce! Making it
easy for the lot!//
 
He pressed his bandaged hands to his ears as if he
could block out the memory of those words. Slowly he
began rocking on the balls of his feet.
 
// Way it has to be, luv!//
 
"...no...no...signed it away..." Angel whimpered softly.
 
"He did not know." It was a statement rather than a
question. "None of them knew."
 
Angel's head jerked up, his gaze focusing on Illyria as
she paced the floor. "Knew?" His voice was strained.
 
"That you gave away the chance to be human. I do
not understand why this would aggrieve you so much.
Humans are frail..." Illyria paused as if to sort her
thoughts and for a moment Angel swore he saw pain
in her inhuman eyes.
 
"Leave me." He whispered.
 
Illyria's eyes lowered from the spot she had been
studying on the wall. "To be human is to be less. I will
not leave."
 
Snorting Angel crawled into the darkened corner. "Like
you care what happens?"
 
"Care?" Illyria studied Angel for a moment, then
averted her eyes. "I wish to stay. It is what Wesley
would have wanted---what he would have wanted."
 
Angel began laughing hysterically. "And since when do
you do what humans wish?"
 
Turning on heel Illyria strode to the door then paused
without turning. "I will find you nourishment. Do not
move from this spot...half-breed." With that she
slammed the door open and disappeared into the
darkness.
 
"Whatever you say...your godship..." Angel snorted as
he pulled a blanket tightly around his shivering body.
 
***
 
Maia sat at the bedside her unseeing eyes focused
neither on the man that lay there or on anything else
in the small candle lit room. She was young by
society's standards, not quite sixteen yet, just as her
brothers were. Despite that, she was far wiser than
what would be expected.
 
A soft whimper came from the man followed by the
sound of a body moving on the mattress. Turning her
head, she frowned.
 
"Shhh..." she whispered, her slender hand reaching out
to stroke the pale face. "It is okay...a dream only."
 
Beneath her gentle touch the man stilled as he always
did. She could see into his heart, but it gave her no
insight into his pain. There was nothing within him yet,
as if he were a newborn infant. It confused her in a
way few things did.
 
"He still hasn't awakened?" Night moved into the room
to stand next to his sister.
 
"No." She whispered as she drew back her hands,
folding them in her lap. "He sleeps...he dreams...yet he
is..."
 
"Empty."
 
Both turned at the sound of their mentor's voice as
he walked slowly to the foot of the bed. Leaning
heavily on his cane Shal' mir studied the young man
that lay quietly beneath the blankets.
 
"Yes, father. I look into his heart and see light, yet he
is empty as if he is newborn." Maia twisted her hands
in her lap trying to ease the need to touch the
stranger once more. "Why has he been brought to
us?"
 
"It is not our way to question the powers that be."
Night bowed his head. "We are, but vessels for their
power on this earth."
 
Shal' mir laughed softly his lavender eyes lighting up
with amusement. "So very young and foolish still. So
much to learn. This one is not empty...he is new."
 
"New?" Sean spoke from the doorway softly. "And
what exactly would that be meaning, father?"
 
"New to this existence that he is in now. He possesses
an old soul. There is a reason yet to be revealed that
he was sent to us. Perhaps our friend could enlighten
us?" Shal' mir smiled.
 
"And why do you believe that, father?" Night's dark
head lifted, his face turning to the voice of his
mentor.
 
"Because he appeared the same night, brother." Maia
replied softly.
 
***
 
In the small chapel, the figure knelt before the Altar
of Perpetual Peace. The faint sound of water running
over smooth stone was easing his heart---his soul.
Eyes closed he hummed softly in rhythm with the
water, his body rocking gently.
 
He had came here in search of a peace that he'd lost
along the path he'd chosen. Peace was a fleeting
thing, he thought, as he rose to his feet. Around him
the hooded robe swished softly as he bowed his head
to the altar, then turned towards the left.
 
Candles of all shapes and sizes stood, their wicks
flickering with golden flames. Each candle was a
request from an acolyte of the temple. Though he
was not an acolyte, he still reached out to light a
candle with one trembling hand. As the wick caught,
he whispered a soft prayer to the powers.
 
Turning the candlelight flickered in his scarlet eyes for
a moment before he adjusted his hood, then walked
slowly from the chapel.
 
***
 
"Angel."
 
The soft whisper caused Angel to wake with a
frightened start. Blinking he sat up his eyes searching
the darkness for the source of the whisper, but there
was nothing.
 
"A dream..." he mumbled as he started to lay back
down, his stiff body screaming in protest.
 
"Angel."
 
Jerking back up he searched the darkness once more,
sure this time that it wasn't a dream. "Who's there?"
He called out. "Who are you show yourself?!"
 
Silence only greeted his demand.
 
With a sigh he lifted his gaze to the ceiling and sniffed
the air. There was no one there, he thought, at least
no one he could smell.
 
"Angel you must hear me."
 
That time the words were louder than before and
quite clear. Scuttling backwards until he hit the cold
cement wall Angel gasped. "Show yourself you son of
a bitch!" He screamed eyes wide with fear.
 
"Now there really is no need for that, Angel. Do be a
bit more courteous."
 
Turning his head slowly, Angel began shaking at the
sight that greeted him. "No...no..." he choked out.
 
"And why the bloody hell not may I ask?" Wes frowned
at Angel's expression. "After all you are a vampire.
Why may I ask can I not be a spirit?"
 
Angel began giggling insanely. "Dead. You're dead."
 
"Yes I am. Such is the reason for my use of the word
'spirit'." Wes chuckled. "Now do quit being such a
ponce. It takes far too much energy to manifest to
the eye."
 
Sitting there Angel just stared in disbelief. "Wes?"
 
"I do believe we've already established that. Now I am
here for a purpose."
 
"Wes?" Angel whimpered again.
 
Rolling his eyes Wes knelt in front of Angel. "You need
to eat. If you do not eat, then you will not have the
strength to heal."
 
"This is not happening..." Angel shook his head
covering his ears, "...you are not here."
 
"Dear Lord!" Wes snapped. "This is getting us no where
Angel you must get a grip."
 
"GET OUT!!!" Angel screamed.
 
"I have just now returned."
 
Angel opened his eyes to see Illyria standing in the
door with a bag in one hand. A look of confusion
shimmered in his eyes as he searched the shadows.
 
"Did you see him?"
 
Illyria stared blankly at Angel. "Of whom do you speak?
There is no one here."
 
Angel shook his head to try to clear away the image
of a man who had been dead for three days. What
he'd seen couldn't have been real.
 
"You are weak, malnourished." Illyria crossed the room
kneeling before Angel to open the heavy canvas bag.
"These things can cause the human brain to
hallucinate."
 
Inside the bag nestled in what appeared to be crushed
ice were a number of blood bags. Angel reached out
one trembling hand to pull a bag free. He sniffed as a
look of horror crossed his face.
 
"This is human."
 
"Of course. I managed to locate a place of human
healing that had yet to be ravaged by the battle."
 
"I can't drink human blood."
 
Illyria snorted softly. "You have not much choice half-
breed. You must heal and you must set aside your
foolish morals. This world is no longer as it was." She
ripped open one of the bags offering it to Angel. "You
are far stronger than you believe."
 
Eyeing the bag Angel took it with trepidation. He
needed to heal and human blood was the strongest,
yet his fear at losing control made him pause. Perhaps
it would have been better had he died with the others
he thought as he brought the bag to his lips.
 
If he'd died with Spike.
 
***
 
Maia was ripped from sleep as the stranger cried out
in pain. Reaching out she stroked his face as she had
done for three days, trying to soothe.
 
"Shhh...only a dream."
 
His arms and legs thrashed wildly, tangling in the
covers, his skin glowing with a sheen of perspiration.
 
This time his fear lay thick in the air as Maia called out
to her brothers. As they entered the small room the
man sat up bolt straight his eyes opening for the first
time, sapphire eyes that glittered with pain.
 
"Angel!"
 
TBC~
 
 
 
Once I had the rarest rose
That ever deigned to bloom.
Cruel winter chilled the bud
And stole my flower too soon.
 
Annie Lennox
Love Song For A Vampire     
(from "Bram Stoker's Dracula" Soundtrack)
 

http://www.geocities.com/rose_liz2001/Dark_Fantasies.html
 
http://www.livejournal.com/~angelstart/
 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FAN-FICTION-UTOPIA/join