Subject: [OTL]: (Pryde/Wisdom/etc.) The Leftover War (PG-13; sillyfic) Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 16:47:32 -0700 (PDT) From: Phil Hartman will1@earthling.net The Leftover War by Phil Hartman DISCLAIMER: They're all Marvel's. No money is being made off of this. Please don't sue. CONTINUITY: Alternate near-future; the same timeline as "Riot Watch," "Resurrection Gulch," and "BETWEEN." -------------------------------------------------------- She stirred, yawning, amidst the mess of blankets, and shoved him off of her with a grunt. "Oi, Pryde, give a man his time t'get up, willya ?" Pete Wisdom grunted as Kitty Pryde slid out of bed and into the bathroom. "It's 8:30, Pete. We have an interview with that electronics counter-espionage firm, remember ?" Kitty called over the sound of running water. "Bloody ... OW !" "Heh hehe heh." "Lockheed, behave !" "He burned my arse !" "Not as badly as I will if you hurt Kitty," a low, intent American voice hissed in Pete's ear while he scrambled for his pants. "Uh, Kit, did we get a new maid ?" Pete called, looking around in panic. -------------------------------------------------------- She sipped her latte, giving the gawkers a big smile, and turned back to her yet-again-resurrected boyfriend. "It's the hair," Alex Summers sighed, looking at Lorna Dane's hair. "The Polaris of the Earth I went to died, Lorna." "She also followed Magneto around slavishly and thought he was her father. I can deal with that," Lorna said sweetly, animating her fork atop the cafe's window table. "Even if I fell in love with Elektra ?" Alex mumbled. "Alex, you had no idea if you were going to get home or not," Lorna purred, taking his hand in hers. "Life isn't that easy, always. I'm not gonna crucify you for feeling something for someone else - nor will I belittle it." Alex smiled at her, carefully, until he heard, "Just one step at a time, Unc." The couple looked up, and their jaws dropped. -------------------------------------------------------- He squeaked, squawked, and sputtered, sparking, until her blade cleaved him in half. "I'm still unsure if this will work," the tall woman in front of the being whom had been Douglock said. "I don't have HER memories ..." "Still, you deserve another shot. All of you do." -------------------------------------------------------- "YA'RE ALIVE !?" "Er - Sam, Tabitha ..." Pete said nervously, watching as the shocked members of X-Force watched him enter their office. "YES !!!" Tabitha Smith cheered, hugging Pete. "I knew that weasel Cuckoo couldn't've killed you - LMD, right ?" "Er ... Tabitha, I think I owe you lot an explanation," Pete began, wincing when X-Force glared at Kitty when she walked in. "Oh. I had no idea it was you guys," Kitty said softly, in a remorseful tone of voice. "You're probably wondering why I didn't attend Pete's funeral." "Ya ain't the one ah'm lookin' for answers from, Kitty. It's good t'see ya," Sam Guthrie said, smiling faintly. He glowered at Pete and added, "Mr. 'Ah'm Dead, Screw You' is th' one who'd better talk." "Oi'd never screw you !" Pete gasped. "People ... enough with the innuendo," a woman's voice called, and Kitty's jaw dropped. Alex and Lorna stepped from thin air, stunned expressions on their own faces, and they were followed by a blinking, shocked blond boy in a black and yellow bodysuit. "Doug ... ?" Kitty and Sam whispered. "Uh, hi, guys," Doug Ramsey said with a shy smile. "You're probably wondering how I got back here -" [SelfriendsSamandKittyPryde!!!] Warlock cheered, bolting out of the portal. He carefully hugged the mutants, then looked over his shoulder and said, [Selfriend - ?] "Relax, 'Lock. We owe these guys a few explanations," Rachel Summers said, walking out of the portal and smiling. She gave off a "WHOULFF" of air as Kitty tackle-hugged her and Doug, cheering wildly. "So much f'r explanations," Pete sniffed, smirking. -------------------------------------------------------- "You split Doug and Warlock apart telepathically, and they formed two separate beings -" "Right." "- after Cable brought you back from a horrible alternate distant future -" "Right." "- and you want to try and set things straight here on Earth." "Well, that depends on your definition of 'straight,'" Rachel said, smirking playfully at Kitty 10 minutes after a series of long-winded introductions and Doug marvelling at Windows 9.1. "Ray, I thought you said no innuendo," Kitty giggled. "Oh God - I giggled. I don't giggle anymore." "Hey, a little giggle is good for the soul," Rachel said, stretching out on the couch in Jesse Bedlam's office. "Seriously, Kitty, look around. There used to be a plethora of X-teams, but now it's like a wasteland. So many of us are retired or just burned out - whatever happened to the fun along with the angst ? My God, PIOTR'S dead - sure, he was nuts at times, but he was driven that way by this stupid conflict." "I know ..." Kitty whispered, looking at her feet. She looked up at Rachel, then said, "You remember when it was just you, me, Brian, Kurt and Meggan ? And Lockheed ? We had our bad times, but we had FUN, too. Nowadays, things are so bloody ... and Logan -" "I saw the TV," Rachel said, shaking her head. "And Scott and Jean just stood there ... I suppose there are times when killing is the only solution, but not when your foe is helpless. Logan taught me that, and he let revenge overwhelm him. Someone's got to draw the line, Kitty. We need some light in the darkness." "Ah hear ya, Ray - sorry t'eavesdrop, but this's a small office Dom bought for us," Sam said, walking over with Tabitha. "We had no business doin' black ops - that ain't what X-Force was about. We've let one mentor guide us all th' time, 'cept for when ah led th' team, an' it's time we left th' nest f'r good - 'cept when y'all need our help." "Thanks, Sam," Kitty said, smiling faintly. "I don't exactly know what we're going to do, though." "Soddin' 'ell, luv, I know," Pete grunted, walking over to the couch. "Call th' Braddocks an' Father Elf, an' get over t' Muir. Europe needs us, f'r cryin' out loud." Kitty looked at Pete with amazement, until Rachel whispered, "You know ... he's right. Excalibur used to be a source of illumination, once. We could try it again ... especially since Moira's gone. And I can't bring her back, Kitty, I'm sorry - her soul's left the Earthly plane." "Thanks, anyway," Kitty said, squeezing Rachel's hand. "Sam, Tab - ?" "We've got a team t'put back t'gether, but thanks," Sam said, smiling. "Besides, we're the dropout butt-kickers," Tabitha tried to joke. "Jesse's gone into counter-ES work, and James went looking for Terry - can't blame him. X-Force needs t'go where the other X-teams can't or won't." -------------------------------------------------------- "Ceum de Dio - of COURSE !" Selene looked up from her cauldron as Roberto DaCosta threw the cel phone at her and ran from the Hellfire Club's basement. "Where do you think you're going ?" she called, frowning. "After the devil's bargain I made with you ? Anywhere," Sunspot growled. "Ah - AYEEEAGGRH -" Selene screamed, and Roberto threw his hands up as molten lava consumed her. "It can't be ..." he whispered, watching a glowing figure walk unscathed from the volcano. "Of course it can, beloved," Amara Aquilla said, smiling as she reverted to human and kissed Roberto. "at last, I have my revenge - well, almost - and we can rejoin our friends." "But - Selene - ?" Roberto asked as Magma took him by the hand and pulled him along with her upstairs. "I encased her in lava and sent her to a 'Barney' convention," Amara laughed wickedly. "The sugary sweetness should have the same effect on her as placing salt on a slug." -------------------------------------------------------- "Mummy ..." "Rahne ?" Rahne Sinclaire looked over her shoulder, and smiled mournfully as Danielle Moonstar and Xi'an Coy Mahn dismounted the motorcycle they had ridden into the cemetery. "Och, Dani - Shan -" Rahne sniffed, hugging her two oldest girlfriends. "I miss her so ..." "We know, petite," Shan said, rubbing Rahne's back. "But we have a miracle to tell you of - and maybe, a return of your powers." "Ye - " Rahne began. Then she saw the youth stepping from the "helicopter" behind her friends, and shrieked for joy. -------------------------------------------------------- "Well, um, if you can handle -" "Ric, ah learned a long time ago who somebody loves don't matter as much as th' person doin' the lovin'," Sam said, shaking Julio Richter's and Shatterstar's hands while they sat at a table in Harry's Hideaway. "'Sides, y'two make a cute couple." Shatterstar and Rictor looked at each other, then at Sam, while Tabitha arched an eyebrow. "Ah'm tryin' t'be helpful !" Sam exclaimed, turning several shades of red until Dani, Shan, Rahne, Doug, a shapeshifted Warlock, Roberto and Amara entered the bar at the same time. "It - DOUG !!!" Roberto and Amara shouted, hugging their friend. "WARLOCK !!!" "Guys - circulation -" Doug pleaded, until they released him. "'Sides, Rahney almost choked me already ..." "An' ye'll nae get away again," Rahne laughed, hugging Doug. "Sam ! Tabitha ! Rictor ! Shatterstar - oh, h'lo, Shatterstar - Look who's back !!" -------------------------------------------------------- "RACHEL !?!?!?" "Meg - Brian," Rachel beamed, hugging the amazed Braddocks as she, Kitty and Pete met in front of St. Michael's in the Bronx. "Sorry to call you off of England ..." "For this, lass, I'd fly to White Castle," Brian laughed. "And Kitty - Wisdom." "I thought you had left Kitty," Meggan frowned at Pete. "She forgave me, right, Pryde ?" Pete begged, looking at the nasty glint in Brian's eyes. "Chill, guys. Git Lad is back in my life, don't ask me why, I don't understand," Kitty tried to joke. "Now, is our resident -" "Katzchen ! RACHEL !?! WISDOM !!!" "Kurt !" Rachel cheered, hugging the priest-outfitted Kurt Wagner as he bounded down the steps towards his old Excalibur teammates. "Hey, Fuzzy-Elf." "Mein Gott, this is a miracle - X-Force already called me about Douglas and Warlock, but they neglected to tell me you were back," Kurt laughed. "And Brian, Meggan - and Wisdom." "Now, look, Father Elf, if Kit didn't defenestrate me th' instant she saw me 'gain, y'don't get t'cut me 'ead off an' throw it int' the North Sea after laughin' at it," Pete half-demanded, half-begged. "This is holy ground, Herr Wisdom. And if Kitty's heart is large enough for room for you again, I suppose I can give you a second chance," Kurt said, extending a hand to Pete. The Englishman shook it, then grinned. "Now, wot 'bout -" Pete began, before a stepping disc swallowed them all. -------------------------------------------------------- "Tree-huggin' - HAH !" "Paige, you didn't mean - we're gettin' back t'gether !? As a TEAM !?" Jubilation Lee yelled from the confines of the VW van Generation X had piled into after leaving the Massachusetts Academy. "But I thought we were at least gonna consider high school or somethin'." "Jubes, you've gotta be kidding me," the recently-resurrected Everett Thomas said, shaking his head from where he was massaging Jubilee's feet. "We've got powers, we should use them to help others. We can get an education in our downtime." "GEDs, anyone ?" Monet St. Croix suggested. "Angelo, turn left -" "Into what, chica !?" Angelo Espinosa yelled from the driver's seat, while white filled their world. ~Bloody 'ell,~ Jono Starsmore sent from the shotgun seat. ~I 'ate this already ...~ "SHUT UP, JONO !!" -------------------------------------------------------- "Uh, guys - ?" Dani asked, looking at the floor of the oversized booth the new X-Force were crammed into. "Leave y'r bills now, gang ! We're leavin' impromptu !" Sam shouted, as the young adults fell into the unknown. #I know THIS -# Doug thought, and white filled their vision. -------------------------------------------------------- "So, you're OK with us ... ?" Lorna asked Alex, as they cuddled in bed. "Of course," Alex said, smiling. "I just didn't want to demand that we get back together. We deserve some time to ourselves, to do this right - hey, whose black bra is that ?" Lorna blushed and said, "Lila Cheney's. She's got the other bedroom - her and -" "'LEX !?!?!" "GUIDO !" Alex shouted, as the room filled with light and deposited Lila Cheney and Guido Carosella at the foot of the bed. "Bloody 'ell, Summers, y'r alive !" Lila cheered. "An' Lorna, too - good job, gel." "Lila !" Lorna said, blushing. "Wait - was that a groan - ?" "Woops," Guido said, getting off of the bed. A low whimper came from beneath Lila, and she stood, wincing. "Sorry, Jamie," Lila said. "JAMIE !?" Lorna and Alex shouted together. "OW ! Stop it, guys - this is turning into a bad skit from SNL," Jamie Madrox pleaded, standing shakily. "I was catching a ride with Lila and Guido to visit Deneb 7 - Forge cut me loose a few months ago." Alex looked at Lorna. Lorna looked at Alex. They looked at the others. The others looked at them. "X-Factor ?" Alex suggested. "COOL !" Jamie and Guido cheered. Lila and Lorna traded a look, then moaned, "Dead pizza for breakfast." They all were swallowed by light. -------------------------------------------------------- "YE !?!?!" "OUT ! Get OUT of the Soulsword - oh, hi, guys," Amanda Sefton told the reassembled Generation X, Excalibur, X-Force and X-Factor. The mutants and Warlock found seats around the Great Hall of Limbo's castle, as Amanda smacked the Soulsword against its usual holding block and cursed. "The sword's getting uppity - that's why you all were summoned," Amanda sighed. "Its original wielder wants out, and I'd oblige, but she has no body, and I'm not going to give up mine ..." "Ye mean - SHE'S ALIVE !?" Rahne gasped hopefully. "What ? Souls never die, kiddo," Amanda said, frowning as the Soulsword twitched in her hands. "Now, if I had a chunk of lifeforce, I could just cast a corporeality spell with my white magic and give her a body ..." Everyone looked around. "Circle of hands - Lorna, Alex, tuck the sheets around yourselves, and get over here. We're all donating," Rachel ordered. The mutants and Warlock did as they were told, and Rachel looked at Amanda with an arched eyebrow. "A little from everyone - cool," Amanda replied, grinning. She plunged the Soulsword back into its block, then took Kurt's and Rahne's outstretched hands and chanted in an oddly musical voice. Limbo - flickered - - and Illyana and Piotr Rasputin fell out of midair into the middle of the circle. "PIOTR !?" Kitty shrieked, running to the Rasputins. "ILLYANA !!!" "Hey, Pryde - what's with the screaming ?" Illyana tried to laugh. "Yo, Dougie - you're back ?" Things went nuts after that. -------------------------------------------------------- "Well, DA," Piotr said, rolling his eyes much later as Kitty and Pete looked at him. "We have to move on, tovarisches. Katya - Kitty - will always be a dear friend, but I must respect her choice. Wisdom, love her." He stepped through the stepping disc Illyana generated, and Excalibur group-hugged the restored Queen of Limbo. "Call. Visit. Drop in even unannounced, willya !?" Kitty laughed, clinging to Illyana the longest. "You even have to ask, Pryde ?" Illyana grinned. "Yo, Amanda - defrock the elf. He looks silly in a collar." "ILLYANA !?" Kurt exclaimed, as Amanda - once more in her Daytripper garb - looked at him with a huge grin. "Oh, Kurt, admit it - you became a priest to exorcise me. I'd much rather you did something else," Amanda laughed, pulling him through the stepping disc with the Braddocks, Kitty, Pete, Rachel and Lockheed close behind. "Hey, Blondie ! This a one-way ticket ?" Illyana heard, before she turned to hug Jubilee. "Not, Lee," Illyana said, smiling at Generation X. "Monaco, right ?" "We need to pick up Penance, and let Father know that we'll take Artie and Leech off of his hands," Monet said, smiling knowingly at Angelo. "They've probably raided every pantry already ..." "You need anything, Lee, call," Illyana said, opening a stepping disc. "I remember your kindness from when I ... kicked off. Ev, take care of her." "I will, Illyana. Take care too," Everett said, as Generation X left Limbo. "Illyana ... wow," Alex - now dressed in his original X-Factor gear - said, walking over with Lorna, Guido, Lila and Jamie. "It's good to see you." "Good to see you, too, 'Lex," Illyana grinned. "A little something to ease your concerns ...." The air thickened, and Alex saw a small boy playing happily with a red-haired woman. Lorna wiped a tear from her boyfriend's cheek, and said, "Maybe we could meet him someday." "Thanks, Lorna," Alex said, kissing her. "Illyana - Falls' Edge, please ? We have to talk to Forge ..." Illyana teleported X-Factor, then turned back to the gathered X-Forcers around the castle gate. "OK. Free teleportation, free triage, and cable, and I get to have you all over once a month for strip poker, right ?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "Aye, she's th' same ol' Illyana," Rahne tried to laugh as X-Force hugged their friend. "Thank ye, f'r restorin' my powers." "Hey, no sweat," Illyana said, opening a stepping disc. "Mesa Verde - Pridewalker and Theresa should be waiting. Hey, Rahney ... gimme a minute, OK ?" The rest of X-Force stepped through the portal, but Rahne stood with a curious expression on her face. "Aye ?" she asked, as Illyana muttered a few words under her breath. The sorceress placed a hand on Rahne's chest, then nodded. "Yep," Illyana said, shaking her head. "Scots - you never know where they'll hide. Hold REAL still, furball." Rahne felt something pass through her, then looked at her feet and gasped. "Ohhh ... where ... ?" "LADY MOIRA !?!?!?" Rahne cried, helping Moira MacTaggart to her feet. "But - Illyana, how -" "Moira lived on in your heart, kiddo," Illyana said, smiling as Moira hugged Rahne. "It was simplicity itself to bring her back - now get oudda here an' find Sean, willya ?" "Illyana - I dinnae ken what t'say," Moira breathed, walking hand in hand from Limbo with Rahne. "Yeah, well ... there's a price for all of this happiness, guys," Illyana whispered, closing the portal before she hung her head. Rainbows, fuzzy bunnies and a huge sun appeared, and Illyana shuddered as her clothing changed. "I'm cool with the white magic thing, but do I HAVE to wear a 'I Love Rainbow Brite' T-shirt ?" she moaned. -------------------------------------------------------- >) tbc ... ? --------------------------------------------------------