Subject: [OTL]: (Halloween fic !) The Blanche Sorceress Profile (R; adultsillyfic) Date: Sun, 31 Oct 1999 14:36:22 -0800 (PST) From: Phil Hartman will1@earthling.net The Blanche Sorceress Profile by Phil Hartman DISCLAIMER: They're Marvel's. Please don't sue. NOTES: Just a strange little idea that bubbled from that wacked-out Muse of mine - kudos, BTW, to Kielle for CFAN's holiday threads. VERY cool :) -------------------------------------------------------- 10/29/99: 09:00 hrs local: -------------------------------------------------------- Is this thing working ? Good. Rahne, get that thing out of your mouth ! You don't know where it's been ! Sorry. This is Doug Ramsey, leading an exploratory team of researchers into the Siberian tundra to investigate rumors of a mythical Russian witch. That's right, a witch. With me are - RAHNE ! Not while the camera's ON ! Rahne Sinclair, my fiancee and werewolf - er - lapwarmer; Dani Moonstar, whose psionic powers evidently don't protect her from giggle attacks at this redoubtable investigator's expense; Sam Guthrie, good-old-boy human rocket with a heart of gold, and our pack mule - thanks, Sam ! Roberto DaCosta and Amara Aquilla, who are - - GUYS ! That's virgin tundra ! Geez ... And of course, you, the camera, Warlock. [Self still thinks this is a bad idea.] You WOULD. C'mon ... -------------------------------------------------------- 10:00 hrs local: -------------------------------------------------------- Great. Amara burned up the map in a fit of rage, and there's this house with chicken legs - - CHICKEN LEGS ! AIEEEGH !! -------------------------------------------------------- 19:00 hrs: -------------------------------------------------------- Well, at least ONE Russian legend is real ... Poor Roberto. Who'd'a thought Baba Yaga preferred spicy food ? At least it was just his finger. Amara blew up a Russian LEGEND, and we're still no closer to the - - Rahney, please - - uhm, more in the morning. -------------------------------------------------------- 10/30/99: noon: -------------------------------------------------------- Success - after a fashion. Dani managed to convince one of the locals to speak to us about the Blanche Sorceress - some artsy type named Rasputin. It seems the Sorceress was a little girl named Illyana who got kidnapped as a child and spent time in an alternate dimension, learning her powers and generally being corrupted. Great. Misspent childhood turned to evil. RAHNE ! -------------------------------------------------------- 18:00 hrs: -------------------------------------------------------- We're lost again. And Sam and Roberto blew up our food. Dani's hunting, but she and Amara keep fighting over who's gonna share Roberto's sleeping bag. Rahne - - good grief. 'Lock, you OK ? [Self is able to metabolize lichen. But self must warn selfriend Doug, self is detecting odd energies ...] Mystic ? [Possibly. Inconsistencies in local energy field require more study.] Cool. Maybe we'll get credit for this after all - RAHNE ! [Odd. Self doesn't remember this becoming a human studies course ...] -------------------------------------------------------- 10/31/99: 23:00 hrs: -------------------------------------------------------- Oh G-God ... It's all gone so BAD ... The Sorceress is REAL. REAL, I tell you ! She got Sam first; he came back in leather. God, it was horrible ... Dani died from laughter, and Rahne won't shift back to human. Roberto and Amara went off with the Sorceress; something about "menage'-a-trois." If anyone sees this, for the love of God, stay away ! What's that ? Me ... ? NOOOOOOOOO !!!! NOT THE SADDLE - -------------------------------------------------------- Happy Halloween ;) --------------------------------------------------------