16. Prophecies On Prophecies
"All right," Angel said, pacing behind the large table. "So, the 'poor little demon girl' part, we know that's about your friend Anya. Is it all about Anya?"
"The, uh, slashing part, that's a... pretty accurate description of how she died," Andrew said, carefully not looking at Xander.
"Bright green energy... that's what Tara saw when she looked at Dawn," Willow said. "And he was talking about her then, right? Is Dawn 'Peaches'?"
"I'm Peaches," Angel grumbled. "Ridiculous stupid nickname. And the rock bit, that's me too, I think. That's a joke from when he first saw Acathla."
"So how do we know what's prophecy and what's jokes and what's just... crazy babble?"
"Read the next part, Willow."
"Boy meets girl, girl turns blue, boy loses girl."
"That's Fred," Gunn said. "Gotta be. And the boy is Wes, or maybe we're all the boy. I mean, we all loved her, even Spike."
"Well, here's the thing, though. The next line is 'over and over'."
"That weird time thing that happened to Illyria?" Gunn suggested. "Y'know, where we got caught in the time loop?"
"Or maybe it wasn't just about Fred," Willow said. "I mean, 'turning blue' could have a lot of meanings beyond the literal. You turn blue when you freeze, o-or when you're depressed..."
"When you drown," Faith added. "B. drowned once..."
Buffy sighed. "In the past, though."
"Acathla was in the past..."
"Let's move on..."
"Light and dark, male and female, when the angels fall and lose their inky wing."
"I must say, the light/dark, male/female bits are certainly reminiscent of your and Xander's current revelation, Willow," Giles sighed. "And we've established that Angel's tattoo is gone, which perhaps helps to fix it in time."
"Well, we've got a big battle versus good and evil going on, too," Wood pointed out. "The light/dark thing works there..."
"Okay..." Willow sighed. "Um... next part. It's not what he thinks it is, it's not. Signed in blood but they've got other ideas."
Angel froze. "You're sure those two sentences are all together like that?"
"When I hear Spike say it in my head, it sounds all mooshy."
"What if it's... more mooshy?" Gunn said, flinching a little at his own use of the word. "I mean, what if it's the Angel bit, plus that part? Like Angel turning human isn't what he thinks it is?"
"You mean, not the Shanshu," Angel sighed. "The Black Thorn made me sign it over in blood."
"You said it yourself, man. It wasn't at all what you expected. And what kind of apocalypse was that if we all walked away from it?"
"The same kind we deal with every year," Xander groaned.
"But this is supposed to be the apocalypse of apocalypses. Y'know, the one the other apocalypses cry themselves to sleep at night about."
"Aren't they all?" Faith snapped. "The First Evil, the Apocalypse of Apocalypses..."
"Gunn, you're all brushed up on the demon lore... were any of the demons we fought Mohra demons?"
"Damn, Angel, it was pretty dark n' gory in that alley..."
"Mohra demons?" Wood asked curiously.
"Their blood turns vampires human," Angel sighed. "I'd know."
Buffy's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's nothing."
"It didn't sound like nothing..."
"Y'know... I can think of a lot of reasons that a Big Bad would want to turn Angel human," Xander mused.
"Not the least of which is the Shanshu," Gunn pointed out. "If you and Spike thought the prophecy was already fulfilled, you'd both stop trying to fulfill it..."
"Look, give Captain Peroxide and I a little credit," Angel snapped. "It's not a carrot on a stick that keeps us good, okay? We have souls."
"Yeah, but there's stuff ya gotta do, right? Like drink out of the cup..."
"The Cup was crap, Spike said it was full of Mountain Dew."
Gunn raised an eyebrow. "You trust him on that one?"
"It's the Cup of Perpetual Torment, Gunn, I don't think he'd be able to fake it... we don't even know if the Cup was part of the real prophecy..."
"Spike's gotta drink out of a cup?" Buffy asked. "What is all this?"
"It was fake!" Angel snapped. "This grail-looking, stupid golden cup to send us on a wild goose chase..."
"Oh, like the one he drank from in Africa?" Xander asked.
Every head at the table swiveled in Xander's direction, and he paled. "Yeah... uh... after I drained Willow, I had this weird talk with Spike. At the time, I thought he was there, but Giles says he was in Africa... so it was more of a... vision thing. I, ah, saw him fight this monster, and then, uh, he drank out of this big... grail-looking... cup... thing."
"After which he promptly went quite insane," Giles mused, cleaning his glasses.
"Look, I just thought he was thirsty..."
Giles put his glasses back on. "What do you know about this Cup of Perpetual Torment, Angel?"
"Not much. Um, there was some stuff about bone crushing and pain until the vampire with a soul does his, y'know, apocalypse thing."
"I believe it's imperative that we study this Shanshu Prophecy in greater detail," Giles said firmly.
Willow tapped her legal pad. "Spike talks about a prophecy, later..."
"Okay, Will, what's next?"
"'Got to get the girl a blade.' We're all pretty sure that's Buffy and the Scythe, right?"
At their nods, Willow continued. "'In the end I'm all alone, all alone... it's the trinket, don't you see?' -- and that's the amulet, I guess. He closed the Hellmouth alone. And, uh, 'Burning alive with her words in my head, burning alive on a lie.'"
Gunn tipped his head. "Burning alive on a lie... is that something to do with that amulet? I mean, I guess you could call it a lie, it was kind of a trap, right?"
"That's me, I think," Buffy said quietly. "Something I told him, right before he died. That he didn't believe."
"What'd you tell him, Buffy?" Angel peered at her.
"It's... not important," Buffy blushed.
Silence fell over the table, moments ticking by.
"And moving on..." Xander said awkwardly.
"Uh, yeah," Willow said. "The next bit is, 'all the death running together, nobody stays dead anymore'. Which I think goes with the next few sentences, about 'they're bringing us back, one by one' and the reference to everyone wanting to be like Buffy."
"As in, not stayin' dead?" Faith asked. "B. takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'."
"Well, Spike came back from the dead... and so did Wesley..."
"Look, we can't know about Wesley," Gunn protested.
"I'm telling you, Spike talked to him, right before I sucked his brain."
"And Cordy," Angel muttered. "She came back from the dead, too. Well, the dying."
"'One final curtain call'," Willow mused. "Like at the end of the play, where everyone comes out, even if you died in Act One."
"But remember, Spike said this stuff years ago," Buffy protested. "Maybe he was talking about The First? It could be any dead person it wanted..."
Xander put his chin in his hand. "Well, except Tara."
Again, every head at the table swiveled his way, and he scrambled up quickly. "What? Why does everybody keep doing that?"
"Why... why wasn't it Tara?" Buffy said, eyes widening. "I mean... it came as Mom to me and Dawn, it appeared to Spike as just about everyone... Wood, you said it was your mother, right?"
"That's right."
"And I saw Jenny," Giles added quietly. Angel flinched.
"But when it appeared to Willow, it was Cassie. She didn't even know Cassie. Why wouldn't it have been Tara?"
"It said it had a message from Tara..."
"Yeah, but it didn't appear as Tara. Why not? Wouldn't that have messed with you a lot more, Will?"
"You're right, Buffy," Willow mused. "It doesn't make any sense."
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"Oh, wow," Tara gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth as her eyes rolled back in ecstasy. "Wow-wow-wow."
Spike lit a cigarette, regarding Tara beneath raised eyebrows. "Y'know, pet, I gotta say... best attitude towards reincarnation I've seen, hands down, no bloody contest."
Tara grinned, plucking the cherry off the mammoth ice cream sundae she was currently devouring. "That so?"
"Damn right. No tap-dance number 'bout Heaven, no gettin' stuck in a desk, no throwin' me through a wall, no walkin' around makin' moon-eyes at Blue like you weren't dead fifteen minutes before. Top drawer. Very impressed."
"And remarkably, I have yet to do the nasty with Harmony," Tara teased.
"Oh bloody hell," Spike muttered, face flaming.
"Didn't know vampires could blush," Tara grinned. "I'll remember that. I didn't just check up on Willow, you know."
"So you, uh... saw that, did you?"
"Not your best performance, Spike. In... in a lot more ways than you know yet."
"Whoa -- what the bloody hell is that supposed to..." Spike broke off, frowning at something over her shoulder. "Vamps. Two of 'em. Just came in the front. Headin' straight towards us."
Tara tensed, laying her spoon down.
"S'pose I'll just see what they want, then?" Spike pulled a stake out of his duster, laying it prominently on the table, his fingers tapping against it. "Evenin', gents."
They both bowed formally, the one on the right rising first. "Good evening to you, William the Bloody, most worthy Aurelian."
"Well," Spike marveled. "Ain't this creepy n' feudal. Social call, is it?"
"We come to you with a message. We did not wish to interrupt your..." the one on the right smiled at Tara, "... dinner."
"She's not my dinner, mates, an' she's bloody well not yours."
"Of course." More bowing.
"Gotta say, likin' their attitude," Spike smirked to Tara before turning back to the vampires. "What do you want, then?"
"We have a summons for you. From the Master."
"The -- oh, that 'the Master'?" Spike laughed. "There's a bloody blast from the past. Hate to tell you, gents, but I think your special delivery's a bit tardy. Things have changed."
"You have spoken to the Master? You have new orders for us?"
"Aw, sure, yeah, he says he's feelin' just a bit dusty at the mo' and it's very, very warm where he is. Says he'll send you boys a postcard, though. Now if you wouldn't mind buggerin' off..."
The two vampires turned to each other, puzzled.
"Looks like you boys should brush up on your current events," Spike sighed. "The Master's dead, real permanent-like. The Annoying One, too, if that's your next question."
"He doesn't know."
"How could he not know? He's the Chosen Consort..."
"Hullo, boys, sittin' right here, an' I'm nobody's bloody consort, least of all the bleedin' Master's. You ever take a look at his ugly mug? Makes even Peaches look pretty, which I suppose explains a lot of what was runnin' through Darla's empty head..."
"The Mastership of the Order of Aurelius is passed through vampiric bloodlines..."
Spike glared. "Save me the speechifyin', Mate. Heard quite enough of this babble in my day."
"You are the Chosen Consort of Master Drusilla. You must take your place at her side."
Spike blinked. "Say again?"
"You are the..."
"Dru? My Dru?"
"Drusilla is now the Master of the Order of Aurelius."
"You're bloody well kiddin' me. S'not possible."
"The ascendancy has fallen to your bloodline. Darla is no more. Angelus has turned human. Penn is..."
"Whoa there, junior, back right up. Angelus has what?"
"Angelus has become human. Thus, as you see, Mastership of the Order has fallen to..."
"Blue fairy visited Peaches after all," Spike whispered.
"The Master is very displeased with Angelus. She has opened an Order-wide vendetta against him."
Spike processed this for a moment. "Order-wide vendetta, eh? Sounds a bit of nasty."
"It is only what is just."
"Do unto others? Eye for an eye?"
The vampire smiled. "In a manner of speaking."
"So Dru's gonna do to Angelus what Angelus did to her. Good on her. And you boys, I suppose you're the deliveryfolk?"
"We have a... package for the Master, yes."
"So bein' the Chosen Consort an' all, do I get a crack? Got a few scores to settle with ol' Angelus myself."
"The package is to be delivered intact. Master's orders."
"Right then," Spike grinned, cracking his knuckles. "Always knew Dru would come to her senses eventually. 'Chosen Consort.' I like that."
Spike slid out of the booth. "Sorry, Pet, date's over. My dark princess awaits n' all."
"Spike!" Tara cried, reaching for his hand.
"Ah-ah-ah, pet," Spike raised his hands defensively. "Hands off the Master's merchandise. You just run home to your nice boyfriend Wesley and tell 'im that I've decided to tackle his killer first-day project by myself, right?"
Tara blinked, and Spike wrapped his arms around the other two vampires, leading them out the door. "Vendetta against Peaches, eh? If you want to hit 'im where it hurts, you really ought to go straight for the hair..."
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"I'm concerned about this 'prophecies on prophecies' and the 'window of opportunity'," Giles said. "Does this Shanshu Prophecy have a time limit, or another prophecy connected to its fulfillment?"
"Hell if I know," Angel muttered. "I read a version, but apparently that's like reading a twelve-year-old's book report on the subject."
"Well, apparently we miss the window," Xander said, reading over Willow's shoulder. "Since the next thing he says is 'won't work'."
"No, that's what he says when Dawn tries to force him to vamp her," Willow sighed. "The real next line is..."
"Hold on," Giles commanded. "When Dawn tries to what?"
Willow froze, clapping her hand over her mouth.