ARCHIVIST: Usual rules apply FEEDBACK: Warmly welcomed as long as it isn't flaming. DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to marvel, are used without permission for the sole purpose of entertainment. Now or Forever by Indigo ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++== "If there is anyone here..." tick ... "...with just cause..." ...tock.... "...who can say that this man and this woman should not be wed..." ~Pete Wisdom isn't here, and he only would say something if it were not Meggan on the altar. But it is not.~ ...tick ... "Let him speak now..." ..tock... ~*I* should say something.~ "Or ..." ~Or forever hold my peace. Forever is a very long time to live in the cold of loneliness.~ "...forever..." ...tick... ....tock... "...hold...." ~He will hate me.~ "...his peace..." "I have just cause." ~Chyort vozmee! Was that out loud?~ "What?" ~Everyone is staring. It must have been out loud. Bozhe moi.~ Suddenly the collar of this tuxedo is too tight. Suddenly the weight of everyone's gaze is upon me, heavier than the Blackbird I carried out of the sea for Katya. Suddenly I would rather be anywhere else than here. The Collective. Asteroid M. Murderworld. "Do you have something to say, then?" asks Roma. His blue eyes turn from the face of his bride to mine. I find myself thankful that whatever power he had once is gone; I would otherwise fear for my life. As it is, the amused expression freezes with uncertainty as Brian looks to Kurt, hoping this is some joke. But Kurt's own wide yellow eyes cause Brian's half-smile to melt away, replaced by a cold, horrified rage underneath. I close my eyes, willing the room to stop spinning, willing the earth to open and swallow me whole. "We're waiting," says another voice and involuntarily I open my eyes to stare at Katya. For a moment, I wonder how she could be so cruel, so unfeeling. Then I see the determination in her eyes. I am not sure why, but she believes in me. "I..." I stammer, and my throat is dry. I have never been good with words. My wedding gift to the bride and groom is a soliloquy, an ode in the language I speak best -- not my native Russian, but the language I can only translate onto canvas with the strokes of my paint brush. But how can I paint what is in my heart now with clumsy, awkward words? How can I speak when the sight of her steals the breath from my lungs? "I..." I try again. She has not yet turned around to look at me -- it is as if she is trying to ignore it all. If she turns, will she have the same hurt fury on her face as Brian does? Will those fey eyes dance with laughter? "I ..." and the third time, as it is said, is the charm. "I am in love with Meggan and wish to marry her myself. " The words are so soft, I can barely hear them myself. In the world I know as my home, they would not have carried mere millimeters from my lips - but this is the palace of Roma, and the words echo throughout the cavernous room. "Oh," Roma breathes, astonished. Her lips curl into something of a smile as well, and I feel the heat of shame climbing my face. "That *is* just cause." Saying nothing more, she turns to Meggan. "What say you, then?" Roma demands, "You are a lady with a choice." Meggan turns, and it is neither fury nor laughter in those green eyes -- it is the pain of a heart torn in the riptide between her old love and .... dare I hope? The new. The sight of it breaks my heart. It would have done so even were I made of steel. I fall, helpless, to my knees, and hang my head -- shame still flames on my cheeks, but my heart pounds so I fear it has deafened me to all... ...all but the sound of her voice. "Piotr," she murmurs in that musical, lilting voice. I could listen to her whisper my name until my dying day -- and I wonder if this is not that day. "Do you mean it?" Warm fingers lift my chin, and involuntarily I open my eyes. I cannot look away from that gaze. "With all my heart, yes. I mean it." "And if I say no?" "If you say no, I will love you still - but your happiness first," I tell her. It is the truth. "And if I say yes?" "If you say yes, I am yours. And I shall do my best to be worthy of you having granted my heart's desire." Brian stands at the altar, wide-eyed like a child who just watched his beloved dog run over by a truck. I offer him a wordless apology with my eyes. Although he is hurt, I see the understanding in his eyes. And in Kurt's. I turn my eyes back to Meggan, and find her shifting like a rippling reflection in a pond. She is the blonde goddess I have known for years. Then she is a female reflection of Kurt. Then she is Rachel Summers, our time-lost friend. For a heartbeat, she is Katya. And once again, the Meggan I have come to love. She does this a while longer - this empathic morphing, eyes closed as if the experience were holding her suspended between rapture and agony. The entire sequence lasts perhaps two minutes, but I have died and been reborn over the eternity before she speaks again. Meggan's eyes are brimming with tears as she turns to Roma. "Send everyone home," she finally says, broken-voiced. "I cannot be anyone's wife today." Gathering the white silken skirts of her gown into her hands, she runs up the aisle and vanishes down a hall. Rahne, Moira and Katya are after her at a sprint, disappearing themselves into the corridors of Roma's vast palace. The crowd's murmur is like distant thunder or the ominous rumble of an earthquake. I haven't the strength to rise from my knees. In truth, I don't think I can stand until I have spoken with Brian. But Brian does not speak to me. He goes after Meggan. And I feel something crack painfully inside me. "Mein freund, you have spoken your heart," Kurt's gentle voice calls me back from my guilted reverie. "And you have given Meggan something to think about. Brian will forgive you, or he won't. " The fuzzy elf smiles, showing fang beneath his dancing yellow eyes. "Fear not about Meggan, ja? No matter what they tell you, it is every woman's dream to have a man interrupt her wedding with the very thing you have done." ***** I am standing in the chapel, staring at a bottle of vodka, but not touching it. I have been doing this for the three hours since I brought Meggan and Brian's wedding to a grinding halt. "She wants to see you," Katya says softly. Her voice holds no recrimination either. I wonder what it is that she and Kurt know that make them support me even when something inside tells me that following my heart was the wrong thing to do. Even when that same something inside demands to know *how* it could be wrong to follow my heart. ***** Meggan is floating, weightless, still in her gown, when I am led to stand on a circle on the floor in a room with Brian. She is angelic and beautiful, and again I feel the love swell inside me -- the love that escaped my grasp and caused this entire tableau to unfold as it has. "One question to you each," Meggan says softly, spinning like a music-box ballerina. "With the power that is mine, and the changes to my shape that I could make, would you grow bored and have me change someday?" "Never," Brian answers at once. "You are the very vision of the woman I adore -- and I would have you this way always." Megan's revolution brings her around to face me. "And you?" she asks. I close my eyes and speak the truth from my heart. "You are the fey child of the earth, Meggan. The faces of the earth do not remain the same -- if it is your wish, you should be inconstant. If the winter makes you wish a coat of fur, I would love you no less. If the summer came and you wished to dance naked in the rain, I would paint you to capture your beauty that way -- no shape could you take that I would find less than breathtaking. No form could you wear that I would love you any less." I cannot open my eyes but I hear the footsteps which tell me Brian is walking toward the door. He has conceded. When I open my eyes, I see Meggan staring after him. But when she turns her face to me, she smiles, and it is like my first sight of the sun after living a lifetime in the dark. "I choose you," she whispers before her lips meet mine, and I forget all else.