Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters of BTVS. I am not making any money off of this fic. Please don't sue me. Beta'd by AtheneHahn

A/N: Written in answer to Redwolf50's Challenge 109. Challenge details at the end.

Paradox

by Jackofspikes


A/N: The ritual used here is the Orphic Hymn to Gaia. It seemed appropriate.

Chapter 24

 Buffy seriously hated being left out of the loop. If there was some sort of ritual going on that these two knew about, then she definitely needed to be with the all knowing. No out of the loopness for this girl. Uh uh. Somebody better make with the explanations and be quick about it. Slayers- especially THIS Slayer- weren't known for their patience.

Spike inwardly cringed. The Slayer was in the room and she was gunning for some answers. 'Shoulda told her. Knew I shoulda told her. She's gonna be right brassed off now, mate.' Hey now, he could do this; he'd faced off against a hell god, hadn't he? True, said hell god had left him lookin' like a badly bruised avocado that had had the misfortune of being run over by a truck, but he'd survived...

Oh hell, who was he kidding? Buffy was gonna dust him.

Giles' first thought was 'oh, dear,' which was quickly followed by a resounding 'you're her watcher, man. Show some backbone!' Clearing his throat, Giles tried again. "It's called the Ritual of Returning, Buffy. It is a ritual to Gaia, the Goddess who has also been called Mother Earth, asking her to bless the supplicant and return him to his original state."

"Benefits?" Buffy snapped out her question as she scrambled to her feet. Crossing her arms, she faced the two Brits down menacingly.

"Spike will no longer be afflicted by vampiric drawbacks. His demon will be accepted as a champion for the Powers of Good," Giles replied succinctly.

"And the drawbacks?" the suspicious girl ground out through gritted teeth. She knew there was a catch; nothing was that easy. Hell, if it was that easy, why hadn't Angel tried it? Buffy inwardly cringed at the passing thought of the brunette vampire.

The pregnant pause in conversation was enough to let everyone know that there were indeed drawbacks, and from the worried exchange of looks between the watcher and the vampire, they were some pretty big ones at that.

"If my heart isn't true, I'll be dusted," Spike answered her bluntly. If the Slayer wanted to know, then she was gettin' the truth with no bloody holds barred.

"No," Buffy rapped out decisively.

"What do you mean; 'no'?" Spike stood and faced her, his mild tone belying his rising ire. 'Why does this bint think she has the right to make my decisions for me? I'm a bloody master vampire,' he thought indignantly.

"No," Buffy repeated slowly, as if speaking to the mentally challenged, but being a lot less polite about it. "You are not doing it."

"It's not your bloody choice, Slayer," Spike snapped at her.

The stubborn look that had quelled many arguments settled firmly on her features. There was no way she was agreeing to this ritual. Hell no! She needed him. There would be no risking of the vampire on her watch. "Oh, we'll see about that," Buffy responded smugly. Turning to her mother and sister, she petitioned for backup. "Tell him he can't do it, Mom. Sic him, Dawnie!"

"HEY! No bloody fair, Summers," Spike cried out indignantly. Ganging up on a bloke was dirty pool. When in the hell did she learn to be so sneaky?

"Oh, Buffy, I'm sure if Spike wants...why exactly do you want to do the ritual Spike? It just seems awfully dangerous to me." Joyce wanted to stay neutral, but her concern for the blond vampire was fast eclipsing her attempt at impartiality.

Dawn tried another tactic, lifting accusing, tear-filled eyes to the vampire, she stated in a shaky little voice, "You promised to always look out for me, Spike."

Spike rolled his eyes in frustration. All three of them...Evil! It was more than one vampire should have to bear. Somebody had to be testing him. Turning pleading eyes towards the watcher, Spike silently begged for a little back up of his own.

Giles didn't know how much help he would be, he already had enough trouble saying 'no' to Buffy. Add two more Summers women into the mix and he was completely out of his league.

Wolfie watched in amusement. He had seven children; he knew master manipulators when he saw them. After so many years, he just knew how to beat them at their own game. "Anybody that was listening to this conversation would think that you three didn't have any faith in our sunlight challenged friend." He was careful to keep his tone only mildly curious. The trick was to never let them know they were being played. He watched their expressions as his words found their mark.

Joyce was the first to react to the giant's words. She quickly assured the vampire that she believed in him, and that if he thought the ritual was necessary, then she trusted him. She would not undermine his precarious position by allowing her fears to cause him to question himself.

Dawn hesitated. She didn't want her best friend to be dusted, but she had been one of the first to believe in him. Could she in all good conscience deny that belief when it was so important to him? Carefully considering the vampire in front of her, she was struck by an epiphany that showed a maturity that was way beyond her years.

"You want this pretty bad, don't you?" she asked him quietly. She smiled at him when he nodded in agreement.

Which left Buffy as the last holdout. "I do believe in you, Spike, I do," Buffy pleaded with the vampire to understand, her tears starting to overflow. "But, I can't...I don't want to risk you. Please don't do this."

"Oh, Buffy...luv," Spike gathered the now weeping girl into his arms. "Please don't cry, pet. I can't take it when you cry. Your bloody tears undo me."

"Then don't do the ritual," she begged him, her words muffled as she spoke into his t-shirt. "You don't need it."

"Slayer, look at me," he spoke gently as he urged her to lift her eyes. "You're right; I don't need it. But I want it, Buffy. I want the chance to become something more than I am; to fight the good fight and know that not only did I pick a side, but that the side picked me. You know what I mean, luv?" Cerulean eyes pleaded with green for understanding and acceptance.

The moment seemed to freeze as the occupants of the small living room waited for the tearful blonde's reaction.

"Okay, but if you get dusted, I'm having you resurrected just so mom can ground your ass," Buffy grumbled from within the confines of his loving embrace.

The rest of the room chuckled in response.

With that settled, Spike spent the next few hours memorizing the ritual. Giles had retrieved the book from the library while picking up Chinese food for dinner. He, Brother Luther, and Jenny busied themselves with protection spells that could be used at a moments notice if any unexpected gatecrashers stumbled onto them. The ritual itself would be performed in a clearing in the woods to the north of town that Wolfie knew about. He explained that Gaia was an earth deity and as such an outdoor ritual was prudent.

Spike was uncomplaining when he was told to shower with the unscented soap that Wolfie had included in the supplies he had brought with him. He soon changed his tune, however, when told that his hair had to be gel free. Grumbling loudly while he showered and then dried himself, he unsuccessfully attempted to flatten down the riotous mess of curls that adorned his head. Finally giving up, Spike was startled to notice that someone had removed his clothes while he had been showering. "Oi! You lot. Where the bleedin' heck are m' clothes?" he shouted in irritation.

"I left them on the counter for you, Spike," Wolfie calmly replied.

Looking in horror at the clothing that had been left for him, Spike was not shy about letting his displeasure be known. "They're WHITE!"

"You wanted to do the ritual, bleach boy, so just shut up and put on the damned clothes." Buffy was still not happy about the ritual, but knowing what else Spike had to wear was certainly moving her in that direction. Secretly, she'd always wondered what he would look like in white.

When he finally came out, she wasn't disappointed, and her warmly assessing looks went a long way towards soothing the grumbling vampire.

When Spike was ready, the group headed out. Taking two cars, they arrived just outside the clearing about ten minutes later. Wolfie told them all to stay close to the perimeter of the woods. The natural circle of the clearing made it the perfect place for the ritual, but Spike could not be distracted or the consequences would be dire. Giving his last minute instructions to the nervous blond vampire, Wolfie ushered the rest of the group to the edges of the clearing.

Spike made his final preparations. As his last step before entering the clearing, he washed his hands in the bowl of clean water that Wolfie had provided. The giant had explained that clean water, or 'khernips', as the redhead called it, had to be used so that the hands that lit the incense could be recognised as unsoiled.

Buffy stared, completely mesmerised as Spike stepped into the moon-drenched clearing. His shirtless torso glistened luminescently in the still present glow of the Clear Sight spell. The soft white cotton trousers hid nothing of his muscular form. A garland of flowers adorned his head.

Spike purposefully made his way to the altar that Wolfie had prepared. Lighting the incense carefully, he began the ritual.

"Divine Gaia, mother of men and of the blessed gods, you nourish all, you give all, you bring all to fruition, and you destroy all. When the season is fair you are heavy with fruits and growing blossoms; and, O multiform maiden, you are the seat of the immortal cosmos, and in the pains of labour you bring forth fruit of all kinds. Eternal, reverend, deep-bosomed, and blessed, you delight in the sweet breath of grass, O goddess bedecked with flowers. Yours is the joy of the rain, and round you the intricate realm of the stars revolves in endless and awesome flow. But, O blessed goddess, may you multiply the gladsome fruits and, together with the beautiful seasons, grant me favour." Taking a deep breath Spike asked his boon, "Allow me to retake my place as a protector of this realm, allow me to fight at the side of the Slayer."

For a moment there was nothing; then the glow surrounding Spike seemed to grow in magnitude. Brighter and brighter, causing the ones that watched to shield their eyes in protection. It could have been minutes or hours, time seemed to lose meaning for them all. Finally, the light began to fade and they all stared at the vision before them.

The silence of the moment was broken by laughter that seemed to ring through the night.


TBC~