Disclaimer: Didn't create the characters, but i treat most of them better than Joss...so don't complain...I'm not making any money out of this so please don't sue me.

Beta'd by AtheneHahn, with special thanks to Maryperk for her advice and help.

by Jackofspikes

Chapter 11

**

"Um...'cause it's my job to slay vampires?" Buffy relied, totally missing the point of the question. In fact, she thought it was a little redundant since everyone there knew exactly what she was.

Penny looked at the girl, the slayer, and not for the first time wondered if she was moving too fast. Was Buffy ready for the information she was about to receive?

She knew that she had already influenced these people with her own opinions. Human nature being what it was, she would have had an easier time stopping the pyroclastic flow from an erupting volcano than stopping herself from acting on her desire to break the unnatural hold that Riley and Angel seemed to have over these people. She didn't feel the least bit of guilt that she'd deliberately manipulated the situation to show everyone that Riley's racism made him a human version of Angelus, or that Angel was really a self-centred, egotistical liar who believed he had the right to play God with the people whose lives he was manipulating. She despised both of them and was more than satisfied with the way things had gone with the two. She knew that there would be further confrontations with them. Neither one knew when to quit and neither one knew how to lose, but they would learn. She would see to that.

The rest of this group, though, they were worth helping. Tara needed her confidence built up. Willow needed to learn to deal with her own control issues and that certainly wasn't going to be an easy job. Anya needed to learn how to reintegrate into human society, but all that would take was a little time and patience. Giles needed some closure with the Angelus situation. Spike would probably be the easiest to deal with; he wanted the changes and was willing to make the effort to achieve them. Xander and Buffy, however, were another matter completely. They were going to need some major counselling.

"The demon that was used to create the first slayer was non-corporeal," Penny offered cautiously.

"Sooo not good with the cryptic, you wanna give me a little more?" Buffy lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

Her body language told Penny all she need to know. Buffy had already figured it all out, but she needed to hear the words.

"The demon that was used to create the first slayer was a vampire demon," Giles stated sadly in realisation. He had often wondered, but knowing his slayer's need for denial, he had never brought the subject up. Now, he wished he had.

"Well that would explain how I knew exactly which one of you lot was the slayer that first night in the Bronze," Spike commented thoughtfully.

"What do you mean, Spike." Giles looked curiously at the vampire.

"I was only told that the slayer was petite and blonde. That described half the bints in the bronze that night," he explained. "But the minute I saw her dancin', I knew. I guess some part of me has always known that the power of the slayer was more than just strong mojo. Power like that would have to have a demonic origin."

Buffy wasn't wigged. She was shocked at the realization that she wasn't wigged, but she wasn't, not really. So the first slayer was created with a vampire's demon. It wasn't like she was one, was she? "Um...that was just the first slayer though...right?"

Penny gathered her thoughts, knowing that she had to explain this just right. "Yes, the first slayer was the one that was combined with the essence of a vampire demon. Over time the demon soul and the girl's soul merged and the first slayer was the outcome. It's the essence of the first slayer that has gone on and merged with each of the following slayers that have been called. Your problem," Penny said, turning to Buffy, "is that you deny the slayer side of you. You need to accept who you are in totality and stop fighting it. Once you do that, you'll find the peace that you're looking for.

"You're so busy looking for happiness in your dreams of normal that you haven't realised yet that even if you found normal, you still wouldn't be happy. You will never find the happiness you crave from without...you need to find balance, and that only comes from within.

"Balance is the key, Buffy. Once you find balance within, you'll be able to unlock all your other powers." Penny smiled softly at the young woman in front of her. She could see the struggle Buffy was going through.

Buffy looked up at Penny, her eyes filled with uncertainty. "I don't know how," she whispered.

"Sweetie, that's what I'm here for," Penny answered Buffy's plea. "But I really think that's enough for tonight. Why don't we all meet back here tomorrow?" With a unanimous agreement, their goodnights were said.

Turning to Spike, Penny smiled as she asked, "Would you care to see a lady home, Sir?"

"Would be my pleasure, luv." Spike smiled and offered his arm. Neither noticed the quick flash of annoyance that marred Buffy's expression. Waving good night to the rest of the group, Penny and Spike made their way out into the night.

They walked for a few moments in silence, both thinking about day and all that had happened. Penny had laughed at the workings of the Powers That Be when she and the other girls had discovered that her new address was 1631 Revello Drive. Apparently the house had been on the market for a while. When Penny told Spike her new address, he looked at her speculatively.

"You may as well get on with it then, Doc. Know you got me alone to talk 'bout something."

"Does anything get by you?" Penny smiled at him.

"You live across the street from the slayer, pet, but you asked me to walk you home? It doesn't take a genius."

"Okay, you caught me. I do have some stuff I wanted to talk to you about. I was hoping to invite you in for some hot chocolate. Some of this stuff is private and I didn't want to embarrass you by bringing it up while everyone was there."

Spike nodded his understanding, but was a little concerned about the word 'private'. She had known enough about him to be able to shut him up with the word 'effulgent' earlier: he was pretty sure that anything dealing with 'private' was a going to mean emotionally painful for him. He looked over at the woman walking beside him. She'd never been anything but good to him, she'd said things that had caused the others to treat him differently, too. She'd got rid of Cardboard and delivered a couple of stinging verbal blows to the Great Poof. If she said they should talk, then talk they would. He honestly didn't think she'd hurt him deliberately.

Once they arrived, Penny ushered the silent vampire into her home and made her way to the kitchen. While Penny moved around the room with casual ease, Spike made himself comfortable by taking a stool and seating himself at the breakfast bar.

Handing him his drink and taking the seat opposite, the two drank in companionable silence for a few minutes. Then Penny placed her cup on the counter, took a deep breath, and started talking. "She'd been sick for a very long time, William. Her soul had been weakened when she lost your father; she had loved him so very much. When she woke the weakness of her soul allowed the demon to take control. Her soul was too weak; she wouldn't have been able to take back control. She was horrified by what the demon did and would never have adjusted. You saved her, she is back in your father's arms and she's proud of what you did. Your mother sent you a message, William. Whistler gave it to me. She says that 'you now have the power to change what you are into what you were destined to be. You have trials ahead of you'. That she loves you and knows that you feel terrible remorse because you've always believed you didn't save her, but she wanted to assure you that you did. She also says that 'if you really feel the need to save a mother, save Joyce'.

During her parlance, tears had started to stream down Spike's face. Tears of relief, joy, and grace ran unheeded, unchecked. He had done the right thing; he'd saved her. His smile of gratitude faded at the last words that Penny spoke. "Joyce?"

"She has a tumour, Spike. It's operable and the operation will be a success, but she will die not long after the operation due to a brain aneurism, a complication from the surgery," Penny explained. "But, you can save her. The trials that Angel would have taken to try and save Darla will work for Joyce. If you are willing to go through the trials in her name, you can save her."

There wasn't a moment's hesitation from the vampire. Not for Joyce.

"What do I have to do?"