New Beginnings

Awkward silence enveloped the group once they had all returned to the living room. Wesley surreptitiously looked around in bemusement. He wasn't really sure what his role was supposed to be. He wasn't quite sure why the Slayer picked him in the first place, or why the glorious brunette goddess kept patting his arm in apparent reassurance.

Each immortal that had memories of the Spike of their original time floundered for a way to begin the conversation. With the exception of Cordelia, Anya and Andrew, who didn't believe that their own dealings with the vampire warranted any apologies, the rest were silenced by their near overwhelming and varying emotions. Oz was the only one who wasn't a returnee and therefore had no past sins to atone for.

Joyce sighed deeply. She was determined to get the conversational ball rolling. "William, may I speak with you privately in the kitchen?"

Spike silently nodded before following the woman he loved as a second mother.

"I must have hurt you so deeply. I'm sorry, William." Joyce faced him while she spoke with quiet dignity once they reached the limited privacy of the kitchen.

Spike tilted his head to the side, confusion played across his features.

"My part in your being disinvited from this house," she whispered shamefully. "You had earned my trust. I knew you were nothing like Angel, and I still reacted badly to the knowledge that you loved my daughter. Instead of remembering who you were, I let past prejudice of Angel influence me. I am so very sorry."

Spike gathered the woman into his gentle embrace. Silently he wished that forgiveness could always be so easy.

When Xander replaced Joyce in the kitchen, Spike felt a buzz of anticipation. Regardless of how his other self had acted, the blond was not normally one to wallow in denial. He recognised the fact that the young man facing him was not the same; he had changed. With that in mind, Spike decided to take the chance and show exactly how much he, too, had changed.

"I really am sorry for all the shite I put you through, Harris."

Xander offered the blond a lopsided grin. "Isn't that supposed to be my line, Soul-man?"

Spike chuckled lightly.

"You know the thing that pisses me off the most from everything I've learned? We might have actually been really good friends in different circumstances." When Spike's head shot up, Xander registered the look of shock facing him. He swallowed uncomfortably, but valiantly forged ahead anyway. "I know I've totally missed the boat on that one, but...um...is it too much to ask...to...well...you know," he paused, gulping, metaphorically swallowing down his nervousness. "Could we, sort of, well...try? To be friendly?"

"Start again, you mean?" Spike asked blandly.

Xander nodded eagerly.

"I don't think we can, Harris," Spike said softly, watching as the hopeful smile slipped from the face of the boy that he had so much history with. "Too much has happened, mate."

Spike stood and moved closer to the brunette. "But, it's more than that, Harris. I don't want to start again," he stated earnestly. "I like arguing with you. Yes, you piss me off but if I don't do the same to you, then I'm not doin' my bloody job right. We're already as friendly as we're ever gonna get. Unless you're as blind in both eyes as you used to be in one, we're past the bein' bastards stage. You're already one of my best friends, you tosser!"

"Why didn't I know this?" Xander asked indignantly.

"'Cause you're an idiot?" Spike suggested with a look of complete innocence.

Xander's relieved laughter erupted, filtering through to the rest of the house.

After Xander finally left the room, Willow entered.

Willow surreptitiously glanced over at the silent blond and nibbled her lip nervously. She had no idea how to start and the uncharacteristically silent vampire wasn't helping her in any way. She thought she should start by saying something along the lines of Tara always liking him to break the ice. Spike had always had a soft spot of Tara, or maybe she should mention that she never did thank him for proving that Tara wasn't a demon that time. She shook her head slightly. This was getting her nowhere. Taking a deep breath, the little redheaded witch turned to face the individual she had so badly wronged.

"You know, Tara always liked you," Willow offered nervously.

"I always liked her, too, Red. She was a right fine bird." Spike smiled as he remembered the shy witch he had known.

"I never thanked you for what you did when her family was here." Willow tried again then licked her dry lips nervously.

Spike shrugged, not really giving away any real indication of how her words were affecting him.

"And...and...even though you were trying to kill me that time, um, you know in the dorm, when you first got your chip and uh, things got a little odd for a minute there because even though you were the big bad, you still tried to make me feel better about myself and even though it was nuts..." Willow took a much needed breath because all of her words were rambling into each other and grinned in a further attempt to gain some sort of reaction from the strangely stoic vampire. "I found myself trying to reassure you too. So, maybe all along we've been nice to each other without really knowing it?" the red-haired witch concluded, her eyes widening hopefully.

"You don't get it yet, do you, Red?" Spike tilted his head to the side as he considered the young woman before him, his expression sad. "It was never about the times you treated me decent, luv. My problem with you was the other times. The times when you stopped using that bloody brilliant noggin' of yours and spouted off the rubbish that the Council foisted on you lot rather than questioning it. It hurt even more when your eyes were telling you something completely different than what you were accusing me of."

Willow hung her head.

"You're the brains behind the scoobs, Red, but where I was concerned you just stopped using your gifts." Spike ran his hand through his hair as he frustratedly attempted to make the girl understand what he was trying to say. "You were one of the few who really saw how upset I was; how devastated Dru left me. Yet you never once questioned the belief that I didn't have emotions. Also, you may have shoved one of them guilt biccies my way, but you never once said that you were sorry that I'd also been caught up in that bloody spell. You apologised to every one else but never me. That made me feel more worthless than anything else you've ever said or done to me."

"Oh, Goddess," Willow whispered as she tried to blink back the tears that threatened to flow. "I am, Spike. I really am so sorry, and I know I have no excuse. You did deserve an apology, for that and so much more. You still do, but the thing I'm sorriest about is that I never took the time, back then, to really see you. That really was my loss. I see you now though. You're amazing."

Spike whispered his thanks as he gently drew the trembling girl into his arms and hugged her - allowing them to forgive each other.

~*~*~

"The coward in me hoped that I would never have to face you in this manner." Giles began. He sighed deeply, removing his glasses and cleaning them automatically as his mind raced to organize his thoughts. "My atonement..."

"Your atonement was made to me by the way you treated me this time around, Watcher. All I ever wanted from you was to be treated like a sentient being, and you've been doin' that since we met up again. Most of the shite you gave me in the old time-line I bloody well deserved, or it was standard Council bullshit; I've got no arguments with you there; and since you've started treatin' Buffy like she, not only, has a mind of her own, but the good sense to go with it, I don't have a problem with you."

Giles blinked twice, his expression blank as his mind attempted to recover from his shock. He couldn't believe the forgiving nature of the man, yes, man, that he was facing. First Buffy and now Spike? When the bloody hell was somebody going to hold him accountable?

"Of course, that doesn't mean you don't owe me at least one small favour for helping' Wood try to off me." Spike smirked at the bemused man. "Or, if that's not enough for you, call it payback for tryin' to convince me that you thought Buffy had good taste in men." Spike snorted derisively.

Giles lifted an eyebrow in faint amusement. "Do tell."

The blond straightened up, and all signs of mirth were wiped from his features. "You are going to back me to the hilt when I inform that stubborn little bint that this time, we're doin' it William's way."

It took every thing in him to stop Giles from whimpering at the very thought of what Buffy's reaction would be when that news hit her. Even though she had her destined mate back, she would now have to wait until the part of Spike that was a late nineteenth century male decided that they had courted long enough.

"Where's you're bloody backbone, Rupes. You're an Englishman, ya' tosser. You're off your gourd if you think I'd make her wait for too long. You better bloody believe that that woman will be wedded and bedded before Finn even gets a look in." Spike grinned and nudged the other man with his upper arm. "Not that we'll be letting her in on that little detail, though, will we, mate."

"Of course," Giles offered faintly with a sickly smile.

~*~*~

"You deserted me when I needed you. I get that you only did that because Buffy needed you more, and that she was in total bitch mode and wouldn't let you see me, it still hurt. You hurt Buffy, and then you left without saying a word to me. Yes, I was angry with you, but I thought of you as my brother. Families fight, but it's pretty much a given that eventually we would have gotten past it. Then you went and died on me..."

Dawn's shoulders shook with her pent up emotions as her words died on her lips. All the grief she had repressed bubbled frantically to the surface as she blindly reached for her best friend; the one her heart called her brother.

Her heart sang in relief as, finally, he was there and in the safe haven of his arms their tears cleansed and healed.

"Jerk!"

"Brat!"

~*~*~

"What just happened?" Buffy asked, dazed.

"Spike left after telling you that, with the majority support of everyone here, he is indefinitely, and cruelly in my opinion, withholding sex from you." Anya offered helpfully.

"You know," Buffy began, musing thoughtfully. "When the complete wrongness of that concept actually sinks in, I'm gonna be really pissed."