Chapter 3 --  Choices

From the Memory of Rupert Giles:

"Rupert Giles, Alexander Harris, and Willow Rosenberg; you have been brought before us to answer for the crimes that your arrogance and your hubris have been responsible for. The crimes you have committed in the name of love, but in reality, they were for the sake of ego, ignorance, jealousy, and lust. While it is true that the final destruction of this realm was instigated by Angel, Cursed of the Aurelian Line, you not only share in the blame for setting him on his path of arrogant self-delusion, but you used your relationship with our Slayer to manipulate her. You became puppet masters with her as your puppet. You undermined our attempts to reward her, choosing always to believe in your supposed superiority in regards to decision making abilities. You ripped her from the place she was sent to heal from the damage you had already done, and then deserted her in her time of need. Your actions are responsible for the imbalance that allowed the First Evil entry into the realm, an imbalance that you compounded by manipulating the slayer line, which in turn allowed the armies of darkness full access to this place, enabling the final destruction.

"You berated the fledgling attempts of the Chosen One's Champion to change his nature, without the benefit of a soul. He protected you, rescued you numerous times, and you repaid him with disdain, abuse, distrust, and disregard. Not one of you thanked him, encouraged him, or helped him, but despite you, he succeeded. His battles paved his way to redemption. His worth is not in question.

"Finally, after sacrificing himself so that you may live, you hid his return from the Slayer, usurping both their destinies and committing the final betrayal.

"How do you plead?"

"Please, you've got it all wrong. That's not how it was! We helped her," Willow begged the disembodied voice, tears streaming down her face.

"Look, I don't know what Spike's been telling you, but it's all lies. You can't trust him! We love Buffy," Xander added, furious.

Giles removed his glasses, his expression sad. "How were we wrong? You must believe that we do not understand these accusations. How can we answer them if we do not know exactly what it is that you are referring to?"

A pregnant pause unnerved the three accused. They waited in the oppressive silence.

"The Witch will been shown the truth she denies. The Fool will be forced to face his own perfidy, and the Watcher will be given the knowledge he is purposely blind to. Once this is done, a choice will be offered. So mote it be."

"Okay...that didn't sound good," Willow commented tremulously.

The darkness around them shimmered. An image from the past surrounded them as snippets of long forgotten conversations whipped around them.

"Oooh! I remember this!" Willow bounced in excitement. "This is where that invisible girl was trying to kill Cordy."

"I don't understand. For what reason are we here?" Giles asked with distracted curiosity as he watched the unfolding scenes.

A beautiful young black woman appeared beside them, pointing to the conversation being played out. "For this."

Giles' voice from the past echoed loudly all around them. 'A vampire in love with a Slayer! It's rather poetic. In a maudlin sort of way.'

The scene faded back to black and the unknown woman watched them as they floundered for understanding.

"I'm sorry. I appear to have missed the point. And, if I may ask, who are you?"

"I'm Nikki Wood, former slayer and mother of Robin. I'm here to point out a simple truth. A truth that should have been obvious to a watcher. A truth that the witch could have pointed out if she hadn't been so afraid of upsetting her little crayon buddy. A truth that could have saved your slayer considerable pain." She gave a derisive snort of displeasure.

"What truth would that be?" Giles asked coldly. This whole thing seemed like a waste of time. When were they going to get to the point where he could prove them wrong?

"The truth that demons can love, and that you believed that fact prior to the introduction of Angelus into your lives." Nikki crossed her arms and waited for the arguments she knew were coming.

"Ah, but as you have so graciously pointed out, that erroneous misconception was proven to be false by the very fact that Angelus did not love Buffy, that he was incapable of loving Buffy," Giles snapped, uncomfortable of reminders about that hellish time.

"The fact that he didn't love her is not proof that he was incapable of loving her," Nikki snapped back with equal fervour. "On top of that, the fact that one demon didn't love, doesn't mean they all couldn't. There are enough ruthless and heartless humans around to prove that. Are all humans psychopathic killers because there is one Jeffery Dahmer or Ted Bundy in the lot?"

"But...but...he said..." Willow stammered in her confusion, as yet unwilling to face all the ramifications of that one small misconception.

More scenes started playing, private conversations between Willow and Buffy, where the Slayer voiced her confusion and told her young friend of things that she'd witnessed between Spike and Drusilla. Around the image of the two girls, all the events that the blond was describing played out in their own scenes. This patchwork of visions then changed as one. The image of Spike crying on Willow's shoulder replaced them. The image of Spike attempting to comfort the redhead as she wallowed in self pity over the loss of Oz. The scene morphed one final time and the image of Spike crying in despair over the body of Buffy was a powerful example to leave them with.

"Fine!" Xander snarled. "He loved her. Big whoop! HE TRIED TO RAPE HER!"

A New scene started. The Teacher's faculty room appeared; as did the image of Xander as he tried to rape his friend. His vitriol spewed forth, hateful jibes and insinuations. Beside the image, another started to play. Image after image showed scenes of the developing sexual relationship between Buffy and Spike, all her abuse, her mixed messages. Scenes of her saying no so she could claim innocence while she allowed him to change her mind. Finally, the bathroom and the action that stunned them into silence; the look on the face of the soulless demon when he realised what he'd almost done.

"By what right did you dare to judge him?" Nikki asked harshly.

With a wide sweep of her hand, a new scene started. "This is what you stole from her."

Images of a wedding, pregnancies, golden haired children, and a blissfully happy Buffy appeared before them. By her side, ever vigilant and loving, was Spike.

"Had you given her acceptance rather than condemnation, or shown support and trust rather than intervention, or if you had believed in her instincts rather than disregarded them, this would have been her life. If you had not supported the cursed one's lie, then she and Spike would have found each other. Instead, this is what you gave her."

The poignant picture of a broken girl, crying herself to sleep, was followed by more images of tears and battles and death.

"But how is that possible? He's a vampire. They are incapable of procreating." Giles struggled to cope with the information overload. His entire belief system was crumbling around him. His Slayer, the daughter of his heart, had suffered at his hand and he was devastated.

An image of the Pergamum Codex appeared, pages flashed open. The prophecy relating to the death of the Slayer at the hand of the Master appeared and translated in front of them. A single page turned, showing a new prophecy; one that they had never bothered to look at; it translated too.

Failure by the Cursed One to protect shall be the beginning of the birth of the Golden One.

Stolen from death she will arise, re-born, stronger and closer to her origin.

No longer a tool for those that watch, but her teacher will remain.

Unrepressed, she will blossom, gaining access to her gifts as she grows.

She will see clearly with the knowledge of the truth that the beast can love.

As she is our gift to mankind, he is our gift to her. A broken enemy, healed.

An eternal life bond formed. Together they shall protect the innocent from the hubris of man and his attempt to be a God.

Their connection will be blessed and their blessings plentiful. Guardians to the mouth of Hell, together they will stand unvanquished. Separation will lead to defeat.

"Good God...what have we done?" Giles hung his head in shame.

"How the hell were we supposed to know? HE WAS EVIL!" Xander shouted angrily, not yet willing to admit the truth that he knew deep down. Since the turning of Jesse, he had raged as he cowered in fear. Spike had become the embodiment of all the things he could not fight, the things he was afraid to fight. The things that he felt impotent to fight, the monsters in the night, his parents, his negative feelings of desire, jealousy, and lust for a friend that he loved like a sister, and lastly, himself.

"Evil manifests in many guises. He worked to change his nature, to become more than he was. You ignored or denied your crimes."

"What crimes? I fought for the good guys!" the disbelieving brunette cried out in shock.

A string of new images began to play. Images that showed cause and effect. Xander kissing Willow and Cordelia's tears. Xander lying to Buffy about Willow's message, followed by Buffy's devastation at having to send the man she loved to hell. Xander's summoning of the singing demon, every human that danced them selves to death. Xander's treatment of Anya and her despair at being abandoned. Every accusation, demand for retribution, insulting word, or sneer, or threat was displayed. Finally, an image of Xander racing into the school pursued by zombies. They all watched as he succeeded in defeating them one by one. The boiler room appeared, as did Xander's encounter with the knife-wielding school bully and the subsequent disarming of a bomb. Nikki's voice drifts over them all.

"You were a hero once."

Xander Harris dropped his head and cried in shame.

"How do you plead?"

Three voices, hollowed out by pain, replied in unison. "Guilty."

"You have a choice. Spend eternity in Hell, or choose to return and try again. But remember, choices have consequences. All choices."