Title: Requiem for a Childe Author: Janet Lynn (janet324@comcast.net) Rating: NC-17 Pairing: S/A (in memory) Previous parts can be found at: http://www.geocities.com/janet324@prodigy.net/FortheFaithful.html Well my friends, we have come to the end of the journey. I was going to joke that I had changed my mind about the sequel, but my sister said I might get some death threats, so I decided not to tease. I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who sent me such wonderful feedback throughout this story. I would not have been able to continue with this without it. I am issuing a tissue warning with this chapter. Thoughts indicated by <> Flashbacks are in italics Chapter 12 Angel sighed as he held the sketch pad in his hands. He wasn't sure he was ready to do this. The last picture. His last memory of his childe. Once he put this away, was it the last of Spike? Would anyone remember him? Angel smiled when he looked over at the watcher waiting to see what the dark vampire held in his hands. He would remember and so would Giles. Opening the sketch pad, he handed the picture to the Englishman. As Giles studied the picture, Angel refilled both glasses, suddenly realizing they had finished another bottle. He contemplated retrieving another, but decided against it. They had drunk enough for one night. Plus Angel didn't know if he was going to need more for the nights yet to come. Giles looked at the picture and somehow knew it had been drawn recently. "This is new" he stated. Angel just nodded his head. "Last night" Angel said softly. "I couldn't sleep." They sat quietly for a while. Giles waited for Angel to tell his story and Angel waited for his courage to come back from wherever it had run off to. Giles studied this last image of the blonde vampire. Spike was standing in front of what looked to be a pyramid. The symbol above his head looked familiar to the watcher. He suddenly realized that this was where Buffy had gone to discover the secrets of the scythe used to defeat Caleb and the First. He hadn't realized that Spike had gone there. In fact, he was surprised that Angel had been there as well. Angel watched the Englishman's face as he studied the picture. He saw pain, confusion and finally understanding flash across his strong features. Could he tell this part? Angel didn't know if he could face the pain. Giles scanned the man in the picture. He had never seen so much pain in his life. Even when he discovered Jenny's body twisted and lifeless in his bed, he couldn't imagine that much anguish. It was as if everything that had supported Spike's life had been pulled out from under him. After everything the watcher had heard from the vampire that evening, Giles suddenly became certain that this was one story he didn't want to hear. "Sunnydale?" he asked quietly, almost as if his mouth had not understood his brain's desire to hide from this tale. "Yeah" Angel answered cryptically. Angel stood outside the crypt and watched as Buffy walked away with his amulet in her hand. His amulet. He got it from Wolfram and Hart to help save the world and Buffy took that from him. Sure, she said that she needed him for something bigger. Second line of defense or some bullshit like that. The truth of the matter was that she wanted someone else to be the champion. Her champion. Spike. Spike had a soul and now he had Angel's slayer and his glory. It burned Angel up inside. He had been living for over a hundred years with this soul. Learning to deal with the guilt and pain until he thought he would go mad. Spike had been with his soul for months at the most and Buffy found him worthy. It was enough to drive a man to drink. But Angel wasn't a man. He had smelled Spike all over her. When she walked up to him and pressed her soft body against him and kissed him like they had never been separated, Angel thought he would pass out from the mark Spike had placed on her. And he was there, watching them. Angel could tell. Spike was never able to stalk very well. He was too rash and impulsive. He would hum or growl, or worse, leave cigarette butts or other evidence around where anyone could find them. So Spike saw the kiss. Angel felt like a teenage boy as he gloated inside. Spike was here but Buffy was kissing him. he thought, internally taunting his childe. Then Buffy had refused Angel's help and gave him an excuse that had something to do with cookies. He didn't quite follow the whole thing. Then again, when Buffy and the Scoobies got going, he didn't understand them half the time. Sometimes, they truly made him feel his two hundred plus years. And that was one more thing to envy Spike for. Spike could fit in with the gang, but Angel didn't. Somehow, he would always be on the outside looking in. So, as he stood outside and watched the slayer walk away from him, Angel leaned against the large headstone behind him and waited for his childe to emerge. He didn't have long to wait. Spike walked out of the crypt and smirked at his waiting sire. "Angel" he said quietly as their eyes met. "Spike" Angel all but spat out. "What are you doing here?" the blonde asked. "Needed to come and tongue the slayer for fun? LA that boring?" Angel grimaced at the vulgar description Spike just had to use. "I came to drop something off for Buffy. I have a feeling you will be hearing all about it soon enough." Spike could practically taste the anger and despair coming off his sire. the blonde wondered. "Got a soul now" Spike whispered. He didn't know why he wanted to tell Angel this. Maybe he wanted to rub it in his face, or maybe he wanted Angel to hold him until the fear went away. He felt the silence spread out between them like a living entity, creating a void he was sure they would never breach. "So I've heard" Angel replied, completely devoid of emotion. Neither man spoke for a long time. Spike thought they were simply going to leave it at that and walk away until Angel spoke again. "Why are you doing this, Spike?" "Doing what?" the blonde asked. "Trying to fit in. Pretending to be the champion. Did you think that if you made yourself more like me that Buffy would actually want you?" The dark vampire was practically seething. "I didn't do this to be like you, you pillock" Spike practically yelled. "I did this for me...for Buffy." Angel laughed in his childe's face. "Like she would ever have anything to do with you. She hates you." "Shows you what you know" the blonde threw back at the taller man. "She doesn't hate me. We were...involved." Angel laughed at the thought. Buffy and Spike. Spike and Buffy. "You really think she loved you, boy?" Spike flinched at the term. He always hated it when Angel called him that. "No" he whispered sadly. Angel saw the broken expression on his childe's face and, for a moment, he wanted to hold him in his arms. He quickly pushed the desire away and clutched his anger even tighter. "That's right. She was using you as a substitute. Who do you think she was really thinking of?" Spike flinched as though he had been slapped. That was his greatest fear. He looked up into the brown eyes he missed so much. "Maybe she was the substitute" he offered. This time it was Angel's turn to flinch. he wondered. Angel looked at his childe who was now staring at something very interesting near his feet. This was definitely not what he was expecting in a trip to Sunnydale. "Look Spike, I don't have time to deal with your bullshit. I have to go and set up Buffy's 'second line' so if you fuck this up, I can pick up the pieces...again." Spike sighed. He knew it would come to this. Even with a soul, his sire didn't believe in him. Angel still saw him as the screw up he always expected him to be. "We might not make it out of this one this time" he ventured lightly. "We might not" Angel replied, sighing heavily. "We've been through a lot." "We have." The silence stretched out again and Spike began to fidget. When Angel decided he had enough, he turned to leave. He stopped when he heard the small voice call out to him. "Sire?" Spike's baritone echoed through the quiet cemetery. Angel turned around and looked at his childe with contempt pouring out of every pore. When Angel didn't say anything, Spike continued, "I love you." The dark vampire studied the blonde for a minute that seemed to stretch out for eternity. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Finally he spat, "No you don't. But thanks for saying it." Spike imagined he could see the sarcasms literally dripping from Angel's tongue. He stood and watched as Spike broke before him. The unshed tears hanging in his eyes that he willed himself not to cry brought a luminescent quality to his sapphire orbs and just for a moment, Angel thought he could see Spike's soul. And then it was gone. Spike turned and ran away into the night and to his fate. Angel spun on his heel surprised that for once he had gotten the upper hand on his petulant childe and made his way back to LA. "And now he's gone" Angel's voice did not betray any of the pain in his heart at the way he had treated the man who had saved the world. "You couldn't have known" Giles offered knowing that the words meant nothing. The guilt that Angel was feeling was not going to be lessened by his platitudes. "I could have listened" he answered, quickly downing the last of the alcohol in his glass. Looking at the empty glass, he said, "Well, we're out of whiskey. I guess that means we're done." "It would appear so" the watcher replied. He too finished his drink and set the glass on the mahogany desk. He handed the picture in his hands back to the dark vampire. Once Angel had the final picture in his hands, he stared at it for several long minutes. He couldn't believe that this was the end of the story. He placed the picture in the back of the portfolio, slowly arranged all the pictures inside and deftly closed the latch. Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair and stood, picking up the leather bound pictures and clutching it to his chest. "You're not putting those back in your desk?" Giles asked as he rose to join the vampire. "No, not tonight" Angel said as he directed the Englishman out of the office. "I'll show you to your room." Giles followed Angel upstairs and down the hall of the second floor. Stopping in front of one of the non-descript rooms, Angel turned to the watcher and smiled. "Thank you" he said quietly, holding out a hand tentatively. "For what?" Giles asked, suddenly confused. "For listening" he answered. "I needed that...more than you know." The watcher smiled lightly and took the vampire's hand in his own. Giles shook Angel's hand and turned quickly to walk into his room. After the Englishman closed his door, Angel turned away and walked to his own suite. He made his way straight to his bed and stripped quickly. Lying naked in his bed, he clutched the leather bound pictures to his chest and stared at the ceiling. He thought for a long time, trying to go to sleep. He thought about all he had lost. Angel was so alone in this world. Almost all of his family was gone, most of them by his own hand. The Master, Darla, Penn, Conner and now Spike. Maybe Drusilla would show up soon and he could complete the set. He laughed bitterly at the thought. He suddenly missed Spike more than he thought possible. He couldn't believe that his last words to his boy were so mean. If only he could have admitted that he still loved him that he needed him as much as he needed blood to survive. But now he was gone and Angel would never have the chance to make things right. He thought they had eternity, but now he was gone. He just prayed that Spike had found it in his heart to forgive him. Angel clutched the portfolio tighter to his chest and inhaled the scent of the leather deeply, imagining it was the scent of his childe's beloved duster. He curled on his side to look at the empty side of the bed next to him. And Angel wept. ~~The End~~ Well, folks, that's it. I hope you all liked it. If you did, please let me know. This was a wonderful story to write and I am looking forward working on the sequel. So please, tell what you liked, or didn't like. What you would like to see more of in the next piece, or what you could do without. I'm always open to suggestions. So be looking for "And Flights of Angels", coming soon! Janet =]