Warning:  There is language in here that some people will find crude, but
it fits the story and it's how people talk.  There.

This is my interpretation on a character and creation owned by Vertigo/DC
Comics.  They can have it if they want because I'm not getting any money
either way.

I am Jason  (there is a note at the end of the story.)

Hellblazer:  Half Empty

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I try and remember what got me here, this low.  Where it began.  Where it
will end.  It's all a blur, though.  All my life.  Everything.  It's
almost as if it never happened.  I'm walking dead, and I just wish I
could lay down.

A rain mists lightly from the sky this dark London night.  It stirs a few
memories, dark and dreary.  Yet, it's all still blurry.

I turn into a local pub, not sure where local really is, not sure if I've
been here before, or even if I'll leave.  Some tosser bumps into me as he
tries to leave as I come in.  He remarks about my private life and walks
into the darkness, maybe for the last time.

Maybe that's what's got me down.  Not knowing.  I've always been on top
of my game, so in control.  I've laughed at the devil and forced his
hand.  I've determined whether or not it was my time so many times it's
like a game.  Hell, I've mooned the best and the worst of 'em and they
can't do shit.

At least they couldn't.  For the longest time I held Hell in limbo.
Heaven didn't want me, so I didn't bother with them.  It was Hell that
was fighting for me.

I smirk a bit while thinking about it as I order myself a guinness.  Hell
used to have three masters, three devils.  It kept everything in balance.
 They couldn't fight each other because it would destroy them all in the
end.  They would be too weak to stop that legion of angels that would
swoop down and bring with it utopia.

Almost had the wankers at war once.  I was dying of black lungs and
figured it wasn't my time.  I was still in control then.  So, I bartered
and bargained.  I signed contracts with all three of them.  They all had
claim to my soul.  They all wanted me, he perfect trophy.  But they
realized my death would bring war, my last big "fuck you" at eternal
damnation.  So, they had no choice but to let me live.

It was fun for a while.  My own guardian devil.  Three of them.  Then one
figured it out.  Yes, there were three, but only one of them had any real
power.  Him.  So, he killed the others, and you know what?  God almighty
didn't move.  Lucifer called his bluff.  And mine.

"Enjoy it while you can, Constantine," said a man who sat himself down
next to me.  He flagged down the barboy and got himself a drink.  I
didn't pay any attention to what.  Didn't care.

"Fuck off," I said as I lit myself a cigarette.  The man smiled.

"Now, now, John," he said, sipping on his drink.  "Surely I can have a
drink with an old friend."

"Remember the last drink we had?" I said with a grin, remembering how I
it was with holy water.

"Aye, you bloody shit," he said, his face turning serious.

"What do you want, Lucifer?" I said, taking another drag off my fag.  "I
mean, you already turned dad loose.  What the hell are you up to?"  The
devil smiled.

"Your father did that himself," he said, getting a look from me.  "I see
where you get it from," he said, now getting a short burst of a laugh
from me.

"Like hell."  I finished off my guinness and stood up, tossing a couple
notes on the bar.  "Go back to Hell."

"John, I still own you," he said to my back.  I laughed and turned back
to him.

"Bullocks, you know I'm off limits.  Another deal I've got you on,
scratch."  The devil fumed a bit.  Yep, I still had him in a corner.

"There are things in place that even you don't know, John Constantine."

"Bloody doubt that," I replied.  "I'll see you around."  I left, ignoring
whatever it was he said after me.

So, I stepped back into the darkness, the mist, the dreary life of John
Constantine.  Only this time I felt a little better.  It always gives me
a good feeling when I'm reminded how much I've fucked over Hell.  Yeah,
the bastard said he had things in place, but I had a few cards left up my
sleave.  After all, I had a reputation to uphold.

I am John Constantine after all.

Perhaps it's not so dreary out here after all.

<><><><><><>

I've decided that I'm going to try to do a Hellblazer fanfic regularly.
Almost like a series, but more around the lines of a ton of short
stories.  i'm not sure, let's just see how it develops.  This comes hot
on the heels of Shadows on the Wall, my first Constantine fanfic which
actually got some feed back showing that there actually was some interest
in Hellblazer.  So, I'm going to try this, but don't be surprised if
there are three stories one week and none for a whole 6 weeks after that.
 If I hit writers block or second guess my story, you won't see it.
Quality before quantity, that's what I always say.  Thanks, and enjoy.

Jason
jason_kenney@juno.com