A Love As Strong As Death

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that not all these characters are mine, and I'm not making money off the ones that are. So there.

Archive: Anywhere that already has my stuff. Anywhere else, ask and it shall be given to you.

Summary: Set after the end of Cast Me Not Away and its follow up stories. This sequel is longer and darker than the intervening short stories. It deals with family, children, immortality, life and death, and making amends. We will also be jumping around in time a bit, so look sharp.

A/N: I debated for a long time before writing this one, although the idea was there before I even finished CMNA. Some of you will believe that I have ruined the previous stories, which is fine. All I ask is that if you're unhappy with where this goes that you'll go back, re-read Cast Me Not Away through Silver Bells, and then you can flame me if you'd like. I'll calmly pull out the fire-extinguisher and ignore you, but that's alright. The themes have been there; I just hadn't quite managed to elaborate on them yet. (Oh, and before anyone screams Nika, Wesley, Spike and Buffy will survive. More than that I won't promise.)

Chapter 27: December 2014

Buffy spotted Wesley immediately in the waiting room for the maternity ward. He was sitting slumped, his head in his hands, and seeing his posture made her fear the worst. "Wes?"

He sat up immediately, staring at her. "Buffy, you didn't have to come."

"Nonsense," she retorted. "Of course I had to come. I wasn't going to let you sit here all by yourself. How's Nika?"

Wesley shook his head, worry stamped on his features. "I don't know. They wouldn't allow both Enid and me back there, and we thought it best—" He stopped, running a hand over his face, obviously trying to keep himself under control.

Buffy rubbed his back soothingly. "Nika's going to be fine," she assured him. "The baby too. It's early, but it's not that early."

"I can't lose them," he replied.

"You won't." Buffy heard the desperation in his voice and knew exactly how he felt.

He took a deep breath. "Where's Spike?"

"He stopped by your house and found Hannah by herself. That's where he was when I called. Spike will stay with her and the boys tonight, and Dawn's got Meg." She stood. "Do you want coffee? Or tea?"

"Coffee, please," Wesley replied. As she walked away, he called out after her, "Thank you."

She smiled at him over her shoulder. "Don't mention it."

Wesley leaned back in the hard plastic chair and stared up at the ceiling. Nika had started experiencing contractions, and they had grown in force quickly. The due date was two months off, and the doctor had started shooing him out of the delivery when the monitors showed that the baby was in distress.

They had started talking C-section, and lack of oxygen, and emergency procedures. All Wesley could think about was three miscarriages and that this was his wife and child they were talking about so clinically.

He felt as though his heart was in his throat.

"Wes?" Angel was standing in front of him, looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

"How—"

"Connor was with me when Dawn called," Angel replied, shrugging. Wesley always forgot how quickly news often spread. They were all connected in so many ways, on so many levels, it was impossible to keep a secret. "How is Nika?"

He shook his head. "They wouldn't tell me. Enid's with her, but—" The doctors had chased him out, but he'd needed to go. There was nothing he could do this time. No amount of coaching could have prepared them for this nightmare.

"Is someone with the kids?" Angel asked.

Wesley nodded. "Spike apparently dropped by after we'd left. He's going to stay."

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

It was not a question he would have had to ask once upon a time. Although there had been a lot of repair work done on their friendship, they would never have the closeness that had once characterized their relationship. Angel had come to grips with that, even if he couldn't quite forgive himself.

These days, he wasn't always sure where the line between them fell.

"If you'd like," Wesley replied. "Buffy's here, so you wouldn't have to."

There was a touch of wistfulness in his voice, as though asking Angel to stay was a request above and beyond the call of duty. "I'll stay," Angel said.

"Thank you." The sincerity in Wesley's voice didn't go unnoticed.

Angel leaned back in the chair, trying to find a comfortable position. "It's going to be fine, Wes," he said. "Nika—she's tough."

"I know." Wesley just wasn't sure that would make a difference right now.

~~~~~

"Maybe you ought to get to bed, pet," Spike suggested. "I'll stay up."

Hannah shook her head stubbornly. "I wouldn't be able to sleep."

"Right." Spike was at a loss. He had no idea what to do with the girl, so he reached for the remote and flipped on the TV. She watched him channel surf in silence, unsure of what kind of conversation you made with a vampire.

There really wasn't anything on, and so the vampire soon turned to look at the girl. She reminded him of someone, but he couldn't put his finger on who. "So you like it here?"

Hannah looked over at him in surprise. No one had asked her that yet, possibly because they didn't really want the answer. After all, if she didn't like it—if being the Slayer and living with her Watcher sucked, there wasn't anything anyone could do about it.

Good thing that wasn't the case.

"Yeah."

"I meant what I said, you know." Spike kept his gaze on the television, the late night talk show host and his guest laughing at something. "About it being different."

"I know."

"Your mum—she didn't hurt you or anything, did she?"

No one had asked about that either, and probably for the same reasons. Or maybe not. Maybe, Hannah thought, they just wanted to respect her right to privacy. There were so many people around all the time that privacy was a very important thing.

"No." Then, for reasons Hannah couldn't quite fathom, she turned and looked at him. "Not really. Sometimes she went a little crazy, and then I just tried to stay out of her way."

"Bit of a nutter, was she?"

She couldn't really take offense at the term, since it was pretty accurate. "They said she had bipolar disorder, or something like that. She'd be depressed, and then she'd be—I don't know, hyper or something. Crazy."

"Dru—that's the vampire that made me—was a loon," Spike said conversationally. "She'd go off on me, completely barmy, and then the next day would be callin' me her brave knight, and I'd have to take care of her."

Hannah felt a strange kind of tension leave her. Everyone was so nice, so normal, that she often wondered how she was supposed to fit in. It wasn't like any of them would understand about her mom—but apparently Spike did, to a certain extent.

"That was mom," she admitted. "When she was depressed, she wouldn't even get out of bed." Hannah looked over at the vampire to see how he was taking her words. "It's weird, because everybody seems to think that being the Slayer is hard. It's not."

Spike tilted his head. "Why is that?"

"Because that's all I have to do," she replied. "I mean, besides school. I help out and stuff, but—" she stopped, unsure of how to explain. "Before, if I didn't do laundry, I didn't have clean clothes, and if I didn't go to the grocery store, we didn't have anything to eat. Nika—Nika said they were going to give me an allowance, and I don't have to use it to buy food or pay rent."

"You worried that's going to go away?" Spike asked. "Doesn't work that way, pet. Bein' the Slayer's a lifetime commitment."

Hannah shook her head. "But they didn't—they don't have to do all this stuff. I don't get it."

There—it was all out in the open now, and the young Slayer watched him with wary eyes. Spike wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. What the girl was seeing was a family that had been built over years. It was impossible to explain that sort of thing in minutes or even hours, especially since she hadn't an inkling something like this could even exist.

"If it makes you feel any better," Spike began, "Nika did about the same thing for me. It's what she's always done—taking people in and makin' them feel at home." He saw the doubt on her face. "That'll take time to figure out, luv. It took me a bit to get used to it, too, an' it took Wesley two years to get comfortable. He told you about me, right?"

Hannah blinked at the abrupt change in subjects. "Wesley? Yeah, you're a vampire."

"He tell you I've killed two Slayers?"

"Sure, but you're different now."

It was said with perfect assurance, and Spike wondered what exactly Wesley had told her that would put that sort of trust in an otherwise wary child. "I am. I've also made it my business over the last few years to keep Slayers alive." Spike let his meaning sink in for a moment. "When I make a promise, I keep it, Hannah. You ask anybody, an' they'll tell you that. You ever need a good kill, or a place to go, or someone to watch your back, you let me know."

He understood. Spike understood living with a crazy person, and having to scrounge, and not fitting in. Maybe the others did too, or they had at one point in the distant past. Spike was still set apart by virtue of his being a vampire, just as Hannah was set apart because she was the Slayer.

Buffy would have known what Hannah found in that moment with Spike. It was the same reason she'd gone to him again and again after her resurrection. The strange fact was that the Slayer of Slayers understood what it meant to be the Slayer better than anyone.

For the first time since discovering what she was, Hannah felt completely at ease. Actually, it might have been the first time in her life.

"Okay." The word was spoken with quiet conviction, perfect understanding of what had just been offered, and simple acceptance.

When Hannah fell asleep just a little while later, her face relaxing, looking like the child she was, Spike watched her. Somewhere along the way, he'd managed to get himself a gig saving people, including Slayers. It was crazy, but it felt right.

Not for the first time did Spike wonder at the turn his life had taken. A soulless vampire shouldn't be enjoying a quiet moment watching a baby Slayer sleep, while waiting for a child to be born. It wasn't natural.

But it was real, and oddly enough, it was exactly what he wanted.

~~~~~

It was early morning when Enid finally came out into the waiting room. Her face was tired and drawn, and she looked every single one of her eighty-odd years. Wesley was on his feet immediately, offering her a seat, which she sank into thankfully. "Nika and the baby are fine," she said as she sat. "There was some concern, but it's past."

"Can I see them?" Wesley asked.

Enid nodded. "Nika is sleeping, but she would appreciate your presence, I'm sure. They wanted to keep the little one in NICU for a time to make sure there aren't complications."

Wesley didn't even spare a look for Angel or Buffy; he immediately headed for Nika's room. "I think that's our cue to leave," Buffy said wryly. "Would you like a ride home, Enid?"

The older woman hesitated before nodding. "I'm afraid I'm not as capable of staying up all night as I once was."

"Spike is with Hannah and the boys," Buffy replied. "We can get them to school today if you want to sleep."

"That sounds wonderful." Enid smiled wearily. "I think I shall sleep soundly knowing that everyone is in good hands."

Angel had remained silent through the exchange, knowing that he wasn't a part of their daily routine. "I should go. You'll tell Wes to call if he needs anything?"

Buffy smiled at him. "Yeah, I'll tell him, Angel. I know he appreciated you being here."

"It was the least I could do," Angel replied before leaving, disappearing back into the shadows the way he always did.

Buffy looked over at Enid. "Will you be okay?"

"Now? Yes." Enid sighed. "It was too close, though. My poor old heart isn't up to such shocks these days."

"I have a hard time believing that," Buffy replied quickly. "You're not that old."

Enid just shook her head. "Old enough. I'm old enough."

~~~~~

Nika awoke when she felt Wesley's hand on her brow, stroking back her hair. "Have you seen her yet?"

"For a moment," he replied. "The doctors are still hovering, but they aren't looking quite as worried. She's beautiful, love."

She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad." A pained look crossed her face. "How long before I can see her?"

"It will be a while yet," Wesley replied. "A C-section is not an easy surgery."

"But Carwen's alright? There aren't more problems?"

"She's going to be fine," Wesley promised.

They had found out the sex only a few weeks before, and had picked a name. The baby wasn't due until January, and her early arrival had placed her in danger. Even now that it appeared that she would survive, the doctor had warned Wesley that it could be several weeks before Carwen was ready to come home.

It wasn't going to make for a very cheery holiday.

Wesley soothed his tired wife as best he could, knowing that she was aching to hold her daughter as much as he was. Nika would recover, though, and Carwen was demonstrating quite a bit of tenacity. If she was anything like her mother, she would do just fine.

Relief and worry filled his mind in equal measure, and so it was a long time before Wesley drifted off to sleep in the chair next to Nika's bed.

~~~~~

Spike was awake when Buffy arrived, sitting in a chair in the living room, watching over a sleeping Hannah. Enid went up to her small apartment over the garage immediately, and although Buffy could have tried talking to Spike, she decided to wait. He didn't seem interested in speaking with her anyway.

Instead, she called Dawn and gave her the news, then asked her to see Meg off to school. "And would you mind picking her up today?"

"Of course not," Dawn replied. "I'm guessing you and Spike didn't get much sleep."

Buffy laughed shortly. "Try none at all. We're going to take care of things here, though, so it'll be a few hours before we can get to bed."

"Connor and I will take care of her," Dawn promised. "Besides, since we're moving in a few months, I'd like to spend as much quality time with my niece as I can."

"Thanks, Dawnie," Buffy said gratefully. She didn't bother telling her sister that she had plans to do other things besides sleep, for which they really needed an empty house. Buffy had decided to take her daughter's advice and "kiss and make up."

The morning ritual with the Wyndam-Pryces was three times as chaotic, partly because there were three children to get ready rather than one. Partly because the boys were in an uproar over not being able to go to the hospital to see their parents and their sister.

Spike was the one to rein them in when they kept protesting that they'd never be able to concentrate, and couldn't they stay home, and they wanted to make sure their mum was alright. "That's bloody well enough!" he said, loudly enough to shut them up. "Are you calling your Aunt Buffy a liar?"

Will and Davey looked at each other. "No," they said in unison.

"Well, then, if she says your mum and Carwen are fine, then they are. Wesley said you're goin' to school today, so you'll go to school, and that's final."

They subsided after that with commendable meekness, and Hannah helped Buffy herd them into the car. The younger Slayer got dropped off first, and then the boys at school, before Buffy swung back by the house to pick Spike up.

The tint on the windows was dark enough to keep Spike safe, as long as he stayed under a blanket, and the attached garage ensured that he didn't get flambéed as he entered the house. Buffy wasn't all that surprised when he stayed quiet during the drive, or when he walked into the house without a word, heading straight to the kitchen.

She followed him, sitting down at the dining room table and watching as he prepared his blood. "You should catch some sleep," he said finally, after the microwave beeped at him.

"I'm not interested in sleep right now," Buffy replied.

Spike's features hardened. "Buffy—"

"No, I want you to let me speak." When he remained silent, she said, "I know you watched me die, Spike, so I'm pretty sure you have some idea of what went through my mind in Cleveland. The difference is that things were okay between us before we went up against Glory. As okay as it got back then, anyway. That's not the way it was a few months ago. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself, because at that moment I didn't know whether you knew how much I loved you."

"Of course I do," Spike scoffed. "Don't be silly."

"Is it silly?" she challenged him. "Spike, I know I'm not always very good about expressing my feelings. I get impatient, and a lot of times I end up taking it out on you."

"Well, you do that when you're scared too, pet," Spike replied. "Buffy, I know all this. I just need you to ease up a bit."

"I'll try," she promised. "It's just—I never thought anything could happen to you."

Spike met her eyes. "You don't think I know that? I live with that every day, Slayer. One of these days, you're going—" He stopped, swallowing, unwilling to say it.

One day she would go where he could not follow. Heaven wasn't a place for demons.

"So life is short," she said, deliberately trying to lighten the tone. "Neither of us knows when something bad could happen. I say we enjoy what we've got right now. Meg said she thought we ought to kiss and make up. Maybe we could start there."

It had been a good while since their last tumble, Spike realized, and he had missed it. "I don't know, luv," Spike said, deliberately baiting her. "I haven't slept for a while, and I might not be up for it, still bein' so weak an' all."

Buffy lifted an eyebrow, appreciating his sally. "Oh, I've got something that will definitely get you going, mister. Besides, you keep telling me you're all better. Maybe you should prove it to me."

"Oh, I'll prove it to you, luv," he growled. "What about Meg and the others, though? I don't want us getting interrupted."

"Dawn's picking Meg up from school, and Enid's got the other kids this afternoon," Buffy replied, sliding her hand under his shirt. "They won't be expecting us anywhere for hours."

"And you're sure you don't want to sleep?" Spike teased.

Buffy shook her head. "Plenty of time to sleep tonight. Right now we have time and an empty house. And I want you now."

Kissing and making up was definitely the way to go.