A Love As Strong As Death
Author: enigmaticblue
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Everyone knows that not all these characters are mine, and I'm not making money off the ones that are. So there.
Archive: Anywhere that already has my stuff. Anywhere else, ask and it shall be given to you.
Summary: Set after the end of Cast Me Not Away and its follow up stories. This sequel is longer and darker than the intervening short stories. It deals with family, children, immortality, life and death, and making amends. We will also be jumping around in time a bit, so look sharp.
A/N: I debated for a long time before writing this one, although the idea was there before I even finished CMNA. Some of you will believe that I have ruined the previous stories, which is fine. All I ask is that if you're unhappy with where this goes that you'll go back, re-read Cast Me Not Away through Silver Bells, and then you can flame me if you'd like. I'll calmly pull out the fire-extinguisher and ignore you, but that's alright. The themes have been there; I just hadn't quite managed to elaborate on them yet. (Oh, and before anyone screams Nika, Wesley, Spike and Buffy will survive. More than that I won't promise.)
Chapter 7: July 2015
Hannah knew this had been a mistake. She had wanted to prove a point, but now that she was out in the cemetery, by herself, she was beginning to wonder what had possessed her.
Other than the insane desire to let everyone know she was capable of taking care of herself.
It really wasn't fair, though. She knew that Buffy had been out on her own slaying vampires soon after she was called. Hannah had to be accompanied every time, and when she complained, Wesley always pointed out that things were different now.
It didn't help that Buffy had not warmed up to her in the last year. In fact, the older woman would often comment on the fact that she never had that much backup. She was alone. She had saved the world a couple times when she was Hannah's age.
Buffy was special; she had died twice, and everyone seemed to be doing their best to make sure Hannah didn't die at all.
The girl laughed at herself, knowing how insane that sounded, even in her own head. She was grateful that Wesley and Nika cared, and she knew that most of their protectiveness had to do with her youth and relative inexperience.
She missed Connor and Dawn intensely. The Cleveland Hellmouth had needed permanent guardians, and they had accepted the position. For a while, the couple had been going back and forth, trying to decide whether or not to make the move. In the end, neither had really had a choice.
Dawn had been like a big sister, though, and Connor had
often taken her out with him on patrol. He was more likely to let her take
chances than Wesley was, and Hannah missed that. There was a part of her that
wished she could have gone with them to
She sighed and straightened her shoulders. It didn't matter. She was the Slayer, and therefore she would do her job.
She just wasn't expecting to have to take on four vampires at once.
They came up on her, one still dirty from clawing its way out of the grave. Fledglings weren't hard to handle, but the other three appeared older.
This was not a good thing.
"What have we here?" The male vampire who spoke was obviously the leader of the pack. "Looks like dinner just got delivered."
Hannah clutched her stake a little tighter. "I'm not dinner."
"Oh, no?" The lone female in the group looked her up and down. "You know, she's probably right. She's more like a hors d'oeuvre."
Hannah decided that it was time to get the bantering over with. She silenced the female with a roundhouse kick to her chin and followed it up with a quick stake to the heart.
It might have been the wrong move. The leader was obviously incensed, and with a growl he went at her, his two companions not far behind.
Hannah found herself trying to fight off three vamps, two of them skilled fighters, and she knew she was in trouble. She ought to be fully capable of handling three at a time, but one of them managed to grab her arm, and before she could shake him off, a second had grabbed her by the shoulders.
In that moment, she was certain that she was going to die.
Suddenly, one of the vampires disintegrated, and Hannah broke free of their hold to dust another. The third was busy fighting a black-clad shape. She recognized the bleached hair immediately and her knees nearly gave out in relief.
Hannah had no idea how Spike had managed to find her, but she definitely wasn't complaining.
With a final flourish, Spike dusted the last vampire and turned to face her, the fury on his face causing her to take a step backwards. "What the bloody hell were you thinking?"
"Spike, I—"
"You're just lucky that Nika called me when she realized you'd gone out on your own!" he exploded. "Those idiots very nearly had you. Did you think that just because your Watcher was on retreat the rules had changed?"
Hannah was torn between rage and tears. Rage won out. "I'm the friggin' Slayer, Spike! You guys never let me go out on my own! Connor was the only one who ever let me take chances, and now he's gone! What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"You let one of us come with you," Spike snapped back, reigning in his own temper, sensing that the girl was on the verge of tears. She was only a few years older than Meg, and right now he was reminded of a young Dawn who was bound and determined to find out what the Slayer was hiding from her.
The tears she was fighting back started to leak down her cheeks, and Hannah replied, "Buffy was fighting vamps on her own when she was my age! It isn't fair."
"We're tryin' to keep you alive," Spike said. "'s not safe for anybody to be out on their own, luv. It's one of the reasons Wes an' I partnered up. It's just good sense to have somebody watch your back."
Hannah's lower lip trembled, and she scowled at him. "I don't need a bloody babysitter." She started stalking off, and Spike sighed deeply. Wesley had warned him before he left that Hannah would need careful watching in his absence. The girl had taken Dawn and Connor's move badly, and she was beginning to test him.
They should have been expecting this, Spike thought as he followed her over to where she perched on a gravestone. Hannah was as strong-willed as any of her predecessors, but this was the first time she'd disobeyed a direct order. She had told Nika that she was going to a friend's house after school and would walk home, but when she didn't show up for dinner, the woman had called him.
Buffy, of course, hadn't wanted to come.
He came to stand next to her. She was crying in earnest now, and Spike bit back yet another sigh. The last year had been a rough adjustment for all of them, and it had probably been hardest on Hannah. "There, now, Sweet, don't cry."
"It's not fair," she said. "I suck at this. I can't even kill a few stupid vamps."
Spike put an arm around her shoulders. "You got two of them," he pointed out consolingly.
"If you hadn't shown up they would have had me," Hannah replied stubbornly. "She's right. I'm never gonna be good at this. I never should have been Chosen."
Spike knew exactly who Hannah was talking about, and he winced. He was going to have to speak with Buffy. As long as Dawn and Connor had been around, they had served as a buffer between the two Slayers, but that wasn't the case anymore. It was all too obvious that Hannah had taken some of Buffy's more catty comments to heart.
"You've only been at this a year, luv," Spike said gently, much as he would have spoken to Meg had she been crying. "Give it some time."
Hannah shook her head and then buried her face in Spike's shirt. "I don't have time."
Spike pulled her closer, knowing what she meant and wishing he had the right words to say. It seemed that by trying to protect her, they may have done more harm than good. "I'm goin' to call Nika an' let her know you're alright," he said. "Then we'll go out together, yeah? I promise to let you take a few chances."
He felt her nod against his stomach and pulled out his cell phone to call his friend. They needed to find a different way of doing things for Hannah's sake, because she was right. She needed to get good at this, and she didn't have that much time.
~~~~~
Nika breathed a prayer of thanks as she hung up the phone.
Spike had promised to keep an eye on the young Slayer, and she knew she could
trust Hannah to his capable hands. "Did William find her then?"
"Yes, and she's fine. Apparently, she was holding her own against a group of vampires when Spike found her." Nika shook her head. "I have no idea what has gotten into that girl."
"You know very well what's gotten into her,"
"She is a child," Nika replied, although her expression was rueful. "But you're right. Something is going to have to change."
Nika made a face. With Carwen's birth, things had been more than a little stressful. Hannah had been quite helpful with the boys and helping around the house, but in the last couple months she had been showing quiet signs of rebellion. She spent more time in her room, emerging only when absolutely necessary. She wouldn't speak unless asked a direct question, and then would give as short a response as possible. Davey had been the only one she would talk to, although Will would sometimes just go into her room and sit with her.
Really, both she and Wesley had been so busy with Carwen that it had been easy to let Hannah disengage. The girl wasn't any trouble, or hadn't been until tonight. With Wesley out of town on a Watcher's retreat, Nika hadn't seen a problem in letting Hannah go to a friend's house after school, skipping her usual training regimen. Honestly, she'd just been grateful that Hannah was finally showing some interest in other kids her age.
Apparently, that wasn't the case at all.
"What do you suggest I do?" Nika asked. "She lied to me about where she was going."
That was an easy question to answer. "I'd ground them, of course, but I can't very well do that with the girl. It's not as if there is anything I can take away from her that would make an impression."
Will was the one who would withdraw, Nika knew. Davey had no trouble voicing his needs, and very loudly too. "I would take him somewhere, and talk." She rolled her eyes, impatient with herself. "Bloody hell. Of course." She rolled her eyes, impatient with herself. "I'm such an idiot."
"It's not just you, cariad,"
"Maybe even needier," Nika murmured. She shook her head. "Well, Spike said he was going to keep her at their house tonight and bring her back tomorrow. Would you mind watching the boys?"
"Of course not,"
~~~~~
She had been as giddy as the child she was. Spike had taken Hannah to some high traffic areas where he knew there would be plenty of vampires, and then he had mostly stayed back and let her slay.
There was a natural grace in her movements that was often hidden by her rather awkward manner. She needed some confidence, since she had all the ability and all the training. Unfortunately, building that confidence would take time, and it was for that reason that he and Wesley hadn't been allowing her to go out on her own.
They had kept her safe, but they had also kept her from blossoming.
Hannah executed a perfect flying kick, taking out the last vampire of the evening with style, and Spike began applauding. "Well done, Sweet."
She grinned at him, all traces of her tears gone. "Thanks!" A worried look crossed her face. "You aren't going to tell Wesley about this, are you?"
"Don't think I'm goin' to have a choice, luv," he replied gently. "You did fib to Nika 'bout where you were goin'." Hannah winced, and Spike sighed. "I'm not gonna tell him you almost got yourself killed, though. Told Nika you were holdin' your own, an' there's no reason to tell Wesley anything different."
There was a measure of hero-worship in her eyes when she looked at him, and Spike was oddly reminded of Dawn again when she was that age. His Niblet had looked at him like that too, and he felt Hannah tug on his heart-strings as she hadn't before.
"Come on, then. Let's get home," Spike said, heading back towards the motorcycle.
Hannah hesitated. "Won't Buffy be mad that I stayed at your place?"
"Buffy's not the only one who lives there," Spike said wryly. "I think I can make the decision on this one." When the young Slayer's expression didn't change, he sighed. "I'll talk to her, luv. Buffy's just—she never did adjust well to change."
"She doesn't like me," Hannah said glumly, trudging behind him.
Spike frowned, trying to think of the best way to explain
it. "'s not that, Hannah. It's more that you're the third Slayer other than
herself she's seen
Hannah didn't really understand, but she wasn't sure she was supposed to. It sucked that Buffy didn't like her, but she hadn't done anything wrong.
Unless you counted getting Chosen in the first place, and Hannah was fairly certain that wasn't her fault.
"It'll be fine," Spike said encouragingly. "She just needs a little more time."
"It's already been a year," Hannah muttered under her breath, pulling on the extra helmet Spike kept with his motorcycle.
Spike pretended not to hear that. While he agreed, Buffy wasn't always willing to listen to reason.
~~~~~
When Hannah woke the next morning and came downstairs, she was relieved to that no one awake except for Meg. "Hey."
Meg glanced up from her Saturday morning cartoons. "Hey." She was unsurprised at finding the other Slayer there. Her dad had a habit of letting people crash at their place when they had been
out late on patrol the night before.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching cartoons."
Hannah frowned. Davey and Will always watched cartoons Saturday morning. She realized, with something akin to surprise, that she missed them. "Where's Spike?" She didn't really want to run into Buffy.
"Sleeping. He and Mom aren't up yet."
"Oh."
They watched TV in silence, Meg munching on dry cereal by the handful. While the girls had spent time in one another's company, it was rare that they were alone together. Normally, they only saw each other when both families got together for dinner. The sheer chaos of such gatherings prevented any real bonding from taking place.
At a commercial break, Meg turned and looked at the older girl. "All the good shows are over," she announced. "It's all going to be boring ones now."
Hannah gave her a wary look. "Do you want to do something else?" she asked, wondering if she was going to get herself into trouble as she did so.
"Let's play Slayer and Vampire," Meg suggested. "You can be the Vampire."
It would figure that the daughter of a Slayer and a Vampire would want to play something other than the typical cops and robbers. Hannah hesitated and then shrugged. She doubted she could be in any more trouble than she probably already was. "Okay."
Meg graced her with a broad grin. "Cool. Dad plays with me all the time, but Mom yells at us for making too much noise. Sometimes he can get her to play too, though."
"When you're hunting vampires, it's better if you're quiet," Hannah replied. "Besides, if we wake your mom and dad up, they'll probably get mad."
"Dad won't," Meg replied with perfect assurance. "He hardly ever gets mad unless I do something really bad. Mom might though, so we should be quiet." Then, without fully realizing exactly what she was saying, Meg added, "Mom and Dad are always up really late wrestling after patrol and stuff. Mom said it was because patrol always gets them wound up."
Hannah nearly choked as she realized what Meg was referring to, and she blinked, trying to get the mental pictures out of her head. Sure, Spike was hot, but—
They were old.
~~~~~
Buffy lay next to Spike contentedly. She loved Saturday mornings. Meg was always occupied with the television, and they could take advantage of the alone-time.
They didn't get enough of it these days.
"I need to ask you somethin'," Spike said quietly, and Buffy knew she wasn't going to like it. She never liked what he had to say when he used that tone.
"Shoot."
"It's about Hannah."
Buffy pulled away. "Spike—" They'd had this conversation before.
"Buffy, she's a Slayer. You might not like it, but that's how it is." Spike sat up so he could see her better. "You know where I found her last night? In a cemetery, fightin' off four vamps, an' doing a decent job of it before they got the better of her."
Buffy looked away, knowing what he was going to say next. "Spike, I don't—"
"She wants to prove she's just as good as you," Spike said earnestly. "Don't you remember what that was like?"
Buffy more than remembered. She could recall the days not long after Faith had rolled into town, after their friendship became strained. They had both wanted to be the best—both wanted the attention, the acclaim, the recognition, if only from the few people who knew what they were. Faith's sense of inferiority had driven her to the dark side.
That had been part of it, anyway.
"I do remember, Spike, but we're not in a competition," Buffy replied, getting out of bed and pulling a robe on. "She's just a kid."
"Hannah stopped being a kid a long time ago," Spike responded, frustrated that they weren't getting anywhere. He had thought that Buffy's initial animosity towards the new Slayer had everything to do with Faith's death. Once Buffy got revenge and had a chance to mourn, things would get better. Instead, she seemed to resent Hannah more and more as the days went by, and for once Spike didn't understand.
Buffy's eyes flashed in anger. "No, Spike. She gets to be a kid. You and Wesley keep insisting on that. You make sure she's safe, you hold her hand while she patrols. Hannah hasn't had to save the world yet. Everyone knows that she's the Slayer, and they all bend over backwards to make sure she's okay with that. That's not what a real Slayer is."
"That's what this is about?" Spike asked incredulously. "You're jealous that the system changed for her and not you? Your mum didn't know you were the Slayer, and you had to do all this without as much support. That's it?"
When he put it that way, Buffy knew it sounded petty. She shouldn't begrudge Hannah's ability to take advantage of Giles' new system. It was one of the things that had allowed her to draw a pension, and to have some choices about which apocalypses she had to stop. There were other people in place to deal with the emergencies these days, which allowed her some pretense of a normal life.
It was petty. It was also true.
The look on her face was enough to answer Spike's question, and he stood, yanking on a pair of jeans. "You don't get it, do you, Slayer?" he demanded. "Hannah didn't ever get to be a kid, even before she got all Chosen. Wesley or Nika ever explain to you why she was in foster care? Her mum was so depressed she couldn't get out of bed in the morning. There was somethin' wrong in her head, an' so Hannah was the one who made sure rent got paid, an' there was food in the cupboard. She came home from school an' made sure her mum ate an' the house was cleaned. She made sure that the welfare check stretched far enough to last them the month, an' when it didn't, she was the one who went hungry."
Spike took Buffy by the shoulders and stared deep into her eyes. "Wesley makes sure she's safe because he's scared to death she'll go off the deep end like Faith did. He's tryin' to make up for past mistakes. The rest of us just want to make sure she gets to be a teenager once in a while."
He painted a bleak picture, and Buffy flushed deeply. She'd been feeling jealous and put-upon, thinking about all the hardships she'd gone through as the Slayer, resenting the fact that Hannah got to lead a more balanced life than she often had.
In reality, being the Slayer was probably the best thing that had ever happened to her, and Buffy was reminded of some of the hints Faith had let slip.
And maybe that had bothered her too. Hannah and Faith were both so alike and so different—Buffy had her own special regrets when it came to the dark Slayer.
"I hate it when you're right," Buffy muttered rebelliously. "You know that, right?"
Spike tried to bite back a smile unsuccessfully. "Yeah, I do."
"I like her," Buffy finally confessed. "I didn't want to, but I do. She's a good kid."
"That she is."
A shriek of laughter, quickly stifled, came from downstairs."What do you think I should do?" Buffy finally asked.
"I think you should treat her the way you'd want to be treated, were you in her shoes." Spike gave her a warm kiss. "I know this isn't easy for you, luv, but it's not all that simple for her either."
Buffy sighed once more, knowing he was right. "I'll try."
"Then you'll do fine," Spike replied, giving her another quick kiss and heading downstairs. Buffy watched him go, wondering if she'd ever be as good with people as Spike was.
She thought it was doubtful.