Subject: [SpikesSalvation] Phoenix Dreams- Chapter 18 Date: Thu, 30 Oct 2003 16:04:36 -0800 (PST) From: Jerusha Hancock Reply-To: SpikesSalvation@yahoogroups.com To: SpikesSalvation@yahoogroups.com Chapter 18 William knocked on the heavy wooden door, feeling acutely uncomfortable. He couldn't help but sense that this wasn't the place for him, and yet he wasn't sure why exactly. The man who answered was his own height and balding, dressed in black with the requisite clerical collar. "You must be William," he said, shaking hands warmly. "Please come in. I have someone on the phone right now, but I'll be with you in a moment." Father Joseph Leary showed him into a comfortable study and then quickly ducked out again. Here the feeling of being uncomfortable was still present, though not as strong. He wondered again what he was doing here, except that Erin had encouraged him to talk to Father Joe, as she called him. Who better than a priest to talk about sin and redemption, right? And he'd been her parish priest since she was a teen, and she trusted him. William wasn't so certain, but he knew he needed to speak to someone, and he wasn't sure that Erin was the right one, as biased as she was in his favor. He wandered over to the wall, where a heavy wooden cross hung, the grain looking warm and mellow in the light from the dim lamps and the fireplace. Hesitantly, he reached out and touched it, half-expecting a reaction of some kind. But as he looked down at his unmarked fingers, he knew that it was only a body-memory, left over from a past he couldn't remember. "Beautiful, isn't it?" came the deep voice behind him. "A friend sent it to me from where he was stationed in Mexico. The people in his village have made wood carving their specialty." William turned slowly to face the priest. "I don't belong here," he confessed. Father Joe regarded the younger man with deep compassion, Erin having told him a little of the story. "This is a house dedicated to God, son. There is no one who doesn't belong here." He swallowed hard. "Has Erin told you anything?" Father Joe waved him to one of the seats in front of the fire, the study walls reflecting the flickering light. "She's told me a little, enough to understand why you're here I think." The priest looked at William, and then said bluntly. "You don't think you're a good man." "How can I be?" William asked. "Father, I have these dreams, and even if they aren't real, if I didn't do those things I dreamed of, how can a good man dream horrors?" "They say evil men do the things that good men only dream," Father Joe returned gently. "I know what you dream, William. Erin has told me a little, and she told me how you met. Do you believe you were a vampire at one point in time?" The matter-of-fact way the priest said it caused William's jaw to drop, and he chuckled. "There are those within the Church who believe evil exists only in the minds of men and in social injustice," he admitted. "But there are those of us who know better." "I don't know," William said. "The dreams are so vivid, but I can hardly believe..." Father Joe spoke quietly. "I am not you, William. Nor can I pretend to know what you are going through, having lost your identity. But I know this—Erin has been happier this last year since you have come into her life than I have ever seen her in the past. Knowing Erin, I know that only a good man could truly make her happy. "Whatever you were, forget about it, William. You have been given a second chance, whatever your previous circumstances. Be thankful, and do your best. That is all anyone, even God, can ask of us." "Is atonement possible?" William asked, his voice troubled and plaintive. "No," Father Joe said softly. "Not by us. What we have done, cannot be undone, no matter how much we might wish it so. But redemption—redemption is always possible, as is forgiveness. Remember that, William." And William remembered until his dying day. "But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed." 2 Cor 4:7-9 ---------------------------------