“Ah, could I lay me down in this long grass/And close my eyes, and let the quiet wind/Blow over me—I am so tired, so tired/Of passing pleasant places! All my life,/ Following Care along the dusty road,/Have I looked back at loveliness and sighed;/Yet at my hand an unrelenting hand/Tugged ever, and I passed. All my life long/Over my shoulder have I looked at peace;/And now I fain would lie in this long grass/And close my eyes./Yet onward!...” ~Edna St. Vincent Millay, “Journey”

Tara had accepted the fact that people were looking for her with a certain sense of inevitability. Her twentieth birthday was in just a couple of days, and that was the date that her father had claimed she would change, that her demon blood would emerge.

She hadn’t expected her father to show up in Sunnydale, but once she knew that he had, she wasn’t surprised by it.

“Here you are.” Wesley opened the door for Willow and waited for Tara to emerge from the backseat. “I’ll walk you both to your room.”

“You don’t have to do that, Wesley,” Tara said. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

“I’m not,” he replied. “So if you’ll humor me, I’ll walk you both to your door.”

Tara smiled, surrendering to the inevitable. “Just for you.”

“How could I resist walking between two lovely ladies?”

“Charmer,” Willow accused.

“Guilty as charged.” Wesley held an arm out to both of them.

Tara couldn’t help the little smile that formed as they strolled up to the dorm. She might not swing that way, but Wesley was a handsome man, and she couldn’t help but notice the looks that other students were sending their way. Some looked admiring, others jealous, and she reveled a bit in the attention.

She was used to being in the background, so it was strange and yet satisfying to be in the spotlight.

“Tara!”

She froze when she heard the voice; it immediately took her back to her childhood. Wesley squeezed her arm in support, as though sensing the tension that shot through her. She pulled free and turned to face the man who had made her childhood difficult at best.

“Dad.”

“What are you doing with these people?”

She could see the thoughts going through his head. He was thinking the worst—or what he thought was the worst. To be quite honest, Tara could think of a lot of things that would be worse than having a threesome with Willow and Wesley.

“These are my friends,” she said simply. “How did you find me, Dad?”

“I don’t think we should talk about this now. I’d like to take you out to dinner for your birthday.”

Tara thought about refusing, but she knew that was the coward’s way out. If she wanted to lay these demons to rest, it would be best to meet them head-on. “Okay.”

“Tara,” Willow whispered urgently.

Tara knew that the other woman was worried about her, and she nodded reassuringly. “It’s okay. What time do you want to meet, Dad?”

“Would six be okay?”

“That’s fine. I’ll meet you at the bookstore. There are restaurants nearby.”

Tara wasn’t about to let her family near her life. She would finish this on her own terms.

Her father seemed taken aback by her assertive tone, but he nodded in acquiescence and left. From past experience, she knew that he disliked “making a scene” in front of strangers, although not out of courtesy to her. He had always been worried about how her actions—her very existence—would reflect on him.

“You don’t have to do this, Tara,” Wesley said softly once her father was out of earshot.

Tara looked up at him. “Tell me, did you feel better after seeing your father again?”

He nodded in understanding. “No, but I’m glad I did it.”

She looked over at Willow, who sighed. “Do you want one of us to go with you?”

Tara shook her head. “I’ll be fine. Did you tell Wesley—”

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me to.”

“It’s okay. If you want to come in, Wesley, I’ll explain.”

Tara knew that there would be a lot of explanations over the next few days, but she was ready to face the reality of who and what she was.

~~~~~

“I’m having a party on Friday. Do you want to come?”

Dawn was a little surprised to be asked, but she said yes without thinking. “Sure. What time?”

“It starts at seven.” Monica smiled. “There’ll be lots of cute boys there. They’re all asking about you.”

Dawn started to see why she’d been invited. “They are?”

“Sure. You’re the new girl. Everyone is curious.” Monica looked her up and down. “Word of warning—be sure you’re dressed right.”

“Right?”

“Yeah. Dress to impress, you know?” Monica’s smile bordered on insincere now. “I’ll see you there.”

Dawn realized that she was being used as bait for some of the boys in school who might not have otherwise come to the party, but who would if they knew the new girl was going to be there. “Yeah, sure.”

Dawn collected her books and other homework, wondering how she was going to convince Joyce to let her go to the party, and what she was going to wear.

Spike was waiting for her when she walked outside, and Dawn climbed into the passenger seat silently. He had pulled away from the curb before asking, “What’s wrong, Nibblet?”

“Nothing.”

“You can’t fool a vampire, pet. What’s up?”

Dawn wasn’t sure she should tell him. If Spike knew that she had been invited to a party, there was a chance that he wouldn’t allow her to go—or that he would convince Joyce not to let her go.

“I was invited to a party.”

“There something wrong with that?”

“I only got invited because I’m the new girl.”

“Sometimes being the new kid in town can work for you.”

“Monica said that I’m supposed to dress right.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“She said I needed to dress to impress.”

Dawn had a perverse sort of pleasure in the incredulous look that Spike gave her as he pulled up outside of the Summers’ residence. “What’s wrong with how you’re dressed now?”

“Apparently it’s not impressive enough.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Will there be boys at this party?”

Dawn shrugged. “It’s a party, Spike. There are usually boys.”

He exited the car abruptly, leaving Dawn to grab her backpack and scramble after him. “Spike!”

“Inside, Dawn.”

She frowned, not understanding why he’d be upset with her when she hadn’t even told him that she was planning on going to the party yet. “I didn’t do anything wrong!” she protested.

“No, you didn’t. That’s not the point.”

“What is the point?”

“The point is that you’re in danger from forces unknown, and I don’t want to have to worry about you being in danger from teenage boys.”

Dawn bristled. “I can take care of myself.”

Spike turned to face her, his blue eyes blazing. “No, you can’t. That’s what you have me for.”

She stared at him, realizing that they were at an impasse.

“Do you want to go?” he finally asked reluctantly.

She looked away. “I don’t know. I want to fit in. I just—I want to be normal.”

Spike sighed. “Alright, but you’re not going alone.”

Dawn’s eyes widened. “What? What are you talking about?”

“You’re not going by yourself. Someone is going to be with you, or at least nearby. That means you tell us where and when it is so we can stake it out.”

Dawn stared at him skeptically. “What? I’ve got bodyguards now?”

“You do if you want to go to this thing.”

She knew an ultimatum when she heard one, and Dawn considered her options, realizing that she didn’t have much of a choice. “Fine.”

“Right, then.” He lifted an eyebrow. “As for something to wear, talk to Buffy. She might be able to help”

Dawn couldn’t argue. Her supposed sister always looked good. With any luck, she would, too—at least she’d look good enough to fit in. That was all she really wanted.

~~~~~

Tara sat next to Willow at the Espresso Pump. There were still a few hours until she had to meet her family, and the bookstore was just around the corner. The coffee shop was a good place to kill some time while pretending to study. “Are you sure you’re okay to go by yourself tonight?”

Tara nodded, looking completely at peace. “I’ll be fine. They aren’t going to do anything to me.”

Willow didn’t have any reason to doubt the other woman’s word on that, but she still found the idea of Tara going alone to be somewhat alarming. Families had a tendency to push buttons no one else knew existed.

“You’ll call if you need anything?”

Tara held up her cell phone. “I promise. I’ll be fine, Will.”

Willow watched as a blonde woman entered the coffee shop. “Tara?”

“Cousin Beth.” For the first time, Tara looked uncertain. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you before dinner.” Beth’s suspicious gaze turned to Willow. “Maybe we should go somewhere else.”

“Willow is my friend.” Tara set her jaw, clearly summoning up her courage. “I don’t have any secrets from her.”

“So, she knows you’re a demon?” Beth kept her voice low so that they wouldn’t be overheard, which was probably a good idea even in a town like Sunnydale. Then again, most of the citizens would likely take Beth’s question as metaphorical.

No one actually believed in demons and vampires in Sunnydale; it was always gangs of kids on PCP.

“She knows.” Tara’s voice was steady.  “It doesn’t matter to them, not the way it always mattered to you.”

“We wanted to protect you.”

“From whom?” Tara challenged.

“From yourself.” Beth’s face twisted into a disapproving scowl. “Your father and Donnie don’t have anyone to do for them. Your place is at home.”

“My place is here.” Tara rose from the table, facing Beth with enviable poise. “There’s no one here who cares  what I am, or what I can do.”

“You’re a freak.”

“So am I.” Willow decided that it was time to step in. Blocking the view of the other patrons in the coffee shop, she held out her hand. The small flame that danced in the middle of her palm looked impressive but was an easy illusion to hold. “Tara’s right at home here.”

Beth looked like she was going to be sick. “You—you’re all a bunch of filthy demons.”

Willow snickered. “No, but we are witches, and proud of it.”

The woman flounced out of the coffee shop, and Willow turned to Tara. “You had to put up with that growing up?”

Tara shrugged. “She was always a pain in the ass.”

It was so rare for Tara to swear, even mildly, that Willow had to laugh. “Let me guess. She wasn’t your favorite cousin.”

“She was always tattling on me.” Tara sighed. “It gave her power.”

“Men ruled the roost?”

“They liked to think so.”

Tara fell silent, and Willow thought that was all she was going to say. It was, in fact, the most she had ever said about her past and her family.

“When my mom was alive, it was easier,” Tara continued softly. “No matter what my dad or anyone else would say, Mom would tell me that I was special. She would say that I was meant for something bigger, and that I should get out as soon as possible.”

Willow frowned. “Wait. If you…” She trailed off, realizing that the question was probably insensitive.

“She never told me, but I don’t think he’s my biological father,” Tara said, answering her unfinished question. “I don’t know who would be, or how she would have met a demon.” She pushed her hair behind her ears. “I don’t know if they felt anything for each other, or if they were strangers.”

Willow considered her comment. “Would you want to find out?”

“I don’t know,” Tara admitted. “I don’t know that it would do any good.”

“Maybe not, but it might help answer some questions.”

Tara stared down at the surface of the table. “I guess.”

“Let me know,” Willow said. “There might be a way to find out.”

“I’ll think about it.”

The way she said it, however, Willow suspected that Tara would ultimately decide against finding out, and maybe that made sense. If their positions were reversed, she didn’t know how much information she’d be able to deal with.

~~~~~

Brother Luka knew that he was in trouble when he heard the footsteps behind him. He was being followed by the Beast, and nothing he’d tried had thrown her off his scent.  Speeding his steps, he wondered how he was going to find the Slayer in this town. Although he’d assisted with the spell, he hadn’t been in charge of the details.

The footsteps pursued him, and Luka ran, hoping that she would get tired of the pursuit.

He was stopped abruptly, running into a blond man who held a stake. For a moment, Luka’s fear nearly choked him, then he realized that the man matched the description he’d heard of the Guardian.

“It’s you! You must be careful. The Beast is coming.”

“The who?”

“The Beast. She is coming.”

The Guardian grabbed him by the front of his robe. “You calling my girlfriend a beast?”

Luka glanced over his shoulder to see the Slayer approaching. “The Slayer.”

“You know me and you ran. If you didn’t have a pulse, I’d think you were a vampire.” The girl approached them slowly. “What do you want?”

“I know about your sister,” Luka replied. “I can give you information. Information that you need.”

“You know about Dawn?” Spike turned quickly, slamming him up against the alley wall. “Are you responsible for her?”

“Please, she is coming. You must—”

“There you are.” The Beast entered the alley, a smirk on her face. “Hey, you! Unhand my holy man.”

“Please,” Luka murmured, fearful that they would give him up to the Beast. “Please.”

“Get him out of here, Spike,” the Slayer ordered. “We need answers.”

“Get away as quick as you can, luv.”

Before Luka quite knew what was happening, Spike was hustling him away through the alley, even as the Slayer flew at the Beast like an avenging angel.  There was a part of him that wanted to inform the Guardian that the Beast would kill his Slayer, but he also wanted to survive, and he knew his duty.

And the Guardian was the one who was important.