“If I leave all for thee, wilt thou exchange/And be all to me? Shall I never miss/Home-talk and blessings and the common kiss/That comes to each in turn, nor count it strange,/When I look up, to drop on a new range/Of walls and floors, another home than this?/Nay, wilt thou fill that place by me which is/Filled by dead eyes too tender to know change?/That’s hardest. If to conquer love, has tried,/To conquer grief, tries more, as all things prove;/For grief indeed is love and grief beside./Alas, I have grieved so I am hard to love./Yet love me—wilt thou?/Open thine heart wide,/And fold within the wet wings of thy dove.” ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “Sonnet 35: If I leave all for thee, wilt thou exchange”

“Okay, one thing at a time,” Wesley said. “First, the map. Spike wanted to make sure that was done, because Dawn has a party to go to on Friday.”

“And he wants to track her.” Willow held up the map. “It’s done. I finished it with Xander last night.”

“Perfect.” Wesley turned to his to-do list, complete with required ingredients for the various spells. He’d taken to making lists lately, because otherwise he would forget something. “Next, the memory spell.”

They all looked at Luka. “Can it be done?”

Luka nodded in response to Willow’s question. “I believe so. The original spell was not complete; she is still…” He trailed off, appearing to search for the right word.

“Malleable?” Tara suggested.

Luka nodded. “Yes, this is a good word.”

“Do we need anything special?” Wesley asked, handing him the list he’d made up.

Luka scanned the ingredients then shook his head. “No, this is all.” He looked worried. “I do not know that I can do this. I was the least  of my brothers.”

Wesley almost pointed out that he was now the last of the monks, so he’d have to manage, but he held back at the last minute. Pointing that out might be slightly insensitive.

“Just do your best,” Tara soothed. “I’m sure that with all of us involved, we’ll be able to get it done.”

Wesley wondered if she knew that for certain, if her ancestry gave her some kind of ability beyond what she’d already had. She certainly seemed to be far more self-confident after facing down her family. Wesley only wished he could say the same.

“I think Spike and Buffy were going to talk to Joyce and Dawn about the possibility this evening,” Willow said. “If they decide to go ahead, we can do it tomorrow evening.”

“That would be fine.” Wesley noted that Luka still looked worried, but he couldn’t blame the man. He’d been through quite a bit in the last few weeks, and it didn’t appear as though things were going to slow down anytime soon.

~~~~~

“I don’t understand,” Dawn said flatly. “Why can’t they just do the same spell?”

“It’s too late for that, Dawn,” Buffy explained. “Too many people already know that you’re not…” She trailed off, realizing that to just come out and say that Dawn wasn’t truly Joyce’s child would hurt her feelings.

“That you aren’t really my family.”

Spike sighed. “It’s not about that, Dawn. The monks’ plan was to interweave you into our memories. Now that we know you, that isn’t possible.”

“What would happen if I did go through with it?”

“Whatever you decide, you’ll have a place here, Dawn,” Joyce said gently.

Dawn stared at her suspiciously. “Why? Why would you want to do something like that?”

“Because you need a place to go, and I’m happy to help.”

Something in her mother’s voice told Buffy that this wasn’t just about giving a place to a needy kid; Joyce had never really been a part of her Slayer activities. She had always been on the periphery, doing her best to support Buffy, but never truly a part of things.

And now Dawn needed something that no one else could give her—she needed a mother, and Joyce was uniquely suited for the job.

Buffy wasn’t naïve enough to think that’s all her mom was—Joyce’s relationship with Giles had opened her eyes to her mother’s many interests—but she was needed in Buffy’s world in a way she’d never been before.

Dawn still appeared to be suspicious of her motives, and Buffy could understand. that The poor kid had had a lot dropped on her in a very short period of time.

“It’s going to be okay, Dawn,” Buffy assured her. “No matter what happens, we’re going to take care of you.”

“If I do this, I’ll have my memories? All of them?”

“You’ll have a complete set of memories,” Spike promised. “From birth to now.”

Dawn stared at the floor, and Buffy could see the indecision and fear on her face. This choice would change everything, and she thought that Dawn was smart enough to know that.

“I’ll do it,” she finally whispered. “I want to be normal.”

“Are you certain?” Giles asked. “Once it’s done, it can’t be undone.”

Dawn nodded. “I’m sure.” She paused, then said, “Can we do it now? I want to get it over with.”

Buffy looked at Spike, who shrugged. “I’ll give Wes a call. We’ll see if they’re ready.”

Joyce put her arm around Dawn’s shoulders, pulling her close and whispering in her ear.

The only problem that Buffy had with all of this was that it would essentially turn her father into an adulterer, and Joyce seemed okay with the idea. If Hank Summers ever showed up, how would he respond?

Not that she thought her dad would return. As soon as she'd turned eighteen, he’d seemed to forget that he even had a kid.

“Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?” Buffy needed to be sure that Joyce was okay with all of this. She led the way into the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Doing this essentially means saying that Dad cheated on you.” Buffy kept her eyes on Joyce’s face, and she saw the sadness that was there and gone. “He cheated on you?”

Joyce shook her head. “I don’t know that, Buffy.”

“But you don’t know that he didn’t,” she said flatly.

“Your father traveled for his job.” Joyce spoke quietly. “There were times when I suspected that he might have—done something, but I never had proof.”

For some reason, this betrayal felt worse than his abandonment had.  Buffy felt as though her father had left all over again. “Is that why you got divorced?”

“No.” Joyce smiled sadly. “We grew apart, Buffy. Nothing has changed.”

Buffy nodded, although she couldn’t agree. Everything had changed as far as she was concerned. An hour before, she would have happily welcomed a visit from her father; now, she never wanted to see him again.

As though sensing her thoughts, Joyce pulled her into a hug. “I may have my suspicions, Buffy, but he was a good husband and a good father.”

“He left me, Mom. As soon as I…” She stopped. This wasn’t something they talked about.

“I know.” Joyce kissed her cheek. “It’s going to be fine.”

“You’ve got the new baby, and Dawn,” Buffy whispered. “What if this is too much?”

“I know my limits.” Joyce pulled back to look her in the eye. “Where do you think your strength comes from?”

Buffy smiled. “I know it comes from you.”

~~~~~

This hadn’t exactly been Giles’ preferred way to spend his Wednesday evening. In truth, having Dawn around had put a serious crimp in his relationship with Joyce, although he didn’t begrudge the girl a bed. It certainly wasn’t her fault that she had nowhere else to go.

And although he knew that having a child around, even part-time, was probably good practice for the future, Giles had wanted to savor every child-free moment until the birth.

With Dawn there, it had been harder to get time alone together, and there were concerns about noise that there hadn’t been before. Giles couldn’t say that he liked it.

Then again, this was what Joyce wanted to do, and Giles knew that by taking Dawn in, he could help out Buffy and Spike.

Once again, they were gathered in Joyce’s living room, with Wesley, Willow, Tara and Luka making preparations. He’d offered his services, but Wesley had explained that they didn’t need more power. Giles wondered when his life had become more about Joyce and his bookstore than being a Watcher.

“We’re ready,” Tara announced quietly. “Come here, Dawn.”

The girl sat on the kitchen chair that had been placed in the middle of the living room. “What do I have to do?”

“Just relax,” Willow advised. “This isn’t going to hurt a bit, I promise.”

Dawn didn’t appear to be convinced.

Giles knew from experience how the spell would work. Tara, Willow, and Wesley would feed power through Luka, who would provide guidance. In theory, Luka was the one best suited to perform the spell. Giles had his doubts, but the monk was the only one who had any experience.

Even if it was very little.

From the outside, however, it looked like they were all sitting there, staring at Dawn.

Fifteen minutes went by in complete silence. Buffy had chosen to wait in the kitchen with Spike; she’d said that she knew she wouldn’t be able to sit still for the entire process.

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, and Dawn slumped and would have fallen out of her chair if Giles hadn’t leapt forward. He lowered her gently to the floor and looked around at the others.

Tara was already rising from her position on the floor to check the others, appearing not to have been affected in the least. “Willow?”

“I’m good,” Willow said, sounding relatively cheerful. “Wes?”

“If Joyce has aspirin, it wouldn’t go amiss,” he admitted.

Joyce quickly headed out of the room. “I’ll get it.”

“Brother Luka?” Tara asked. “Are you okay?”

The man nodded shakily. “The girl?”

Giles looked down at Dawn, who was still unconscious. “Her pulse is steady,” he said as his fingers pressed lightly against her neck.

“I’ve got her.” Spike knelt next to Giles, scooping her up in his arms and laying her on the couch.

Joyce was there a moment later, handing a bottle of aspirin to Wesley and putting a gentle hand on Dawn’s forehead, as though testing for a fever. “I think we should let her rest,” she decreed. She looked Wesley over with a critical eye. “And you should, too.”

“I won’t argue with you.” Wesley looked exhausted, as did Luka, although Tara and Willow appeared to be in better shape.

Spike shifted, glancing out the window. “I think we need to patrol tonight. You’ll call when she wakes up?”

“Of course.”

Giles breathed a sigh of relief once they were all gone, and he drew Joyce into his arms. “How is she?”

“She seems to be resting comfortably.” Joyce leaned her head against his shoulder, and he heard her tired sigh.

“Go on up to bed,” he murmured. “I’ll keep watch.”

“Are you certain?”

“You need to take care of yourself.” Giles put a hand on her gently swelling abdomen. “We have another doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

She smiled. “You remembered.”

“I’m not likely to forget, not when we’ll be able to find out the sex.”

“You don’t want to be surprised?”

“With as many surprises as we get daily?” He shook his head ruefully. “I think I’d prefer to be prepared.”

Their kiss was sweet with just a touch of heat, and Giles released her reluctantly. Easing himself into the armchair, he picked up his book and prepared to keep vigil.

~~~~~

Quinn had dithered for quite some time before finally deciding to enter the lion’s den herself. She had considered going to Wesley, but she knew that he would insist on talking to the Slayer. It would be a lot easier to go straight to the source.

She had mapped out where everyone lived upon first coming to town. After swinging by Spike’s townhouse and Wesley’s apartment, and realizing that no one was home, she went by the Summers’ place.

Spike’s car was out front, so she parked herself outside to wait for their emergence, knowing that Spike and Buffy would most likely be together.

She didn’t have to wait too long. She concealed herself when the others came out, wanting to talk to Buffy first, knowing that she was already outnumbered.

It was two on one, and no matter how kind they’d been after the incident with Dracula, she didn’t know how they’d respond when she told them the truth.

Buffy stopped cold when she caught sight of her, and Quinn braced herself.

“What are you doing here?”

Quinn pasted a pleasant smile on her face. “I needed to talk to you.”

“What about, ducks?” Spike sounded as though he would at least give her a chance to explain.

“I work for the Council.” Quinn had decided that her best option was to lay all her cards out on the table at once. “I was asked to report back on you.”

“And that’s changed?” Buffy’s tone make it clear that she didn’t believe that it was possible.

“Is there somewhere we can go?”

Buffy stared at her, suspicion written large over her face. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. My place?”

“We’ll go to my place,” Spike said. “I’ll drive.”

Quinn climbed into the backseat for the second time. “I, uh, still have Wesley’s jacket.”

“We’ll get it back to him.” Buffy’s tone indicated that Quinn would do better to keep her mouth shut.

When they pulled up in front of Spike’s townhouse, Quinn followed them into the residence and took a seat on the couch when Spike waved her to a seat.

“Do you want something to drink?” Spike asked.

Quinn shook her head. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather get this over with.”

“Let’s get it over with then.” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “Start by telling us why we shouldn’t kick you out right now.”

“I want to help.” Quinn tried to think of a way to get through to them. “Look, my younger sister was Chosen, and my parents are both Watchers. Travers threatened to turn her over to others, people who care sod all for her, if I didn’t get this right.”

Buffy’s face softened slightly. “Go on.”

“Travers ordered me to collect information, and he wants to know how Wesley translated the prophecy.”

“For what reason?” Spike asked.

“He didn’t tell me.” At their disbelieving looks, she quickly said, “Really, he didn’t. All he wanted was for me to keep an eye on you. When he called the other day, he wanted specific details on how Wesley had translated the prophecy.”

“Why are you coming to us now?” Buffy still appeared skeptical, but as though she might be coming around.

Quinn tried to put her feelings into words. “You both saved my life. What Dracula wanted for me—” She didn’t know how to put her feelings into words.

“I know.” Buffy’s voice had gentled. “Okay, so we saved you from a fate worse than death.”

“I’ve been told my entire life that the Council knows what’s best for its Slayers,” Quinn explained. “And I believed them. I trained to become a field Watcher, just like my parents, but I wanted to be on the wet works team.”

“Do you know what they do?” Spike asked skeptically.

“Capture werewolves for rehabilitation,” Quinn replied readily. “Kill vampires, destroy demons who are threatening children and other innocents. That is what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t sign up to be a spy.”

“Then why did you agree to do it?” Buffy demanded. “How do I know that you haven’t already betrayed us?”

“What could I have told them?” Quinn asked. “Look, Travers threatened my sister. He basically said that he would turn her over to someone who’d let her get killed. I am not going to stand by and allow him to do that.”

“So you’re coming clean.” Spike raised his eyebrows. “What about your sister?”

“My parents know about this. They’re ready to do what has to be done to keep her safe,” Quinn replied. She met Buffy’s eyes squarely. “Did you know that right now you’re likely to be the longest lived Slayer on record? That’s what I want for her.”

“What do you want from us?” Buffy asked.

Quinn sighed. “I wanted to be straight with you, and I wanted information that I could feed to Travers.”

“When do you need to make a report?”

“As soon as possible,” Quinn replied. “I don’t…” She trailed off, not wanting to give too much away.

Buffy took a deep breath. “I get it. She’s your sister, and you want to protect her. And she’s a Slayer, so I owe her something. We’ll help you, but you’re going to help us.”

“What do you want me to do?” Quinn meant the question. She would do what she could to help.

If her instincts were right, they all needed to stick together.