Author: enigmaticblue
Rating: PG
Archive: If you already have my stuff. Otherwise, just ask.
Disclaimer: I'm fairly sure we've been over this before, and Joss did say that we should write fanfiction.
Summary: A short Easter story set in my kinder, gentler S6. Xander asks Buffy for a favor, and the Slayer finds herself in an interesting predicament.
A/N: Written for my 2005 holiday ficathon, after I realized that the Christmas story was going to be so darn angsty. Itmustbetuesday said she wanted Anya and the Easter bunny. It was too much fun to pass up.
"You want me to do what?" Buffy demanded incredulously.
Xander was desperate. "Buffy, Anya is convinced that it's going to ruin our wedding. You know how crazy she is right now."
"Like it's a change from how she usually is," Buffy muttered, mostly to herself. She couldn't believe that Xander had volunteered her to stake out the mall. No, not the mall. The Easter bunny. "What do you expect me to do? Stay there all night?"
Xander looked hopeful. "Would you? If I told Anya you were staying there all night, she would definitely relax. She says it's an evil demon that only wants to destroy her happiness. You should have seen her the other day!"
Buffy was glad she'd missed out on it. According to Xander, they'd been at the mall, shopping, when the Easter bunny had appeared, handing out candy to children. Anya had immediately started screaming, and Xander had been forced to hustle her out of the mall. Now Anya was convinced that the bunny was out to ruin her wedding, which was only a week away.
While the Slayer had no desire to spend the night shadowing a giant costumed bunny, she didn't seen any way out of it. Xander wanted to keep Anya happy, and Buffy wanted Xander to be happy, so she would do it.
She supposed that this particular job was no worse than some of the others she'd had to pull. Besides, she could always have Spike accompany her. That way it would be more like a date.
"I'll do it," she sighed. "But only for one night," Buffy warned him. "More than that, and Anya will have to hire her own rabbit hunters."
"Thanks, Buf," Xander replied. "You're the best."
Buffy sighed, and then brightened as Xander left. If she was supposed to be trailing the Easter bunny all night, no one would be expecting her at home. She could use the excuse to spend most of the evening with Spike. He'd made his crypt a rather cozy get-away. That wouldn't be a bad way to spend a Saturday night at all.
~~~~~
Spike was still chuckling by the time they got to the mall. He'd parked in the covered garage so he didn't have to worry about the sun. When Buffy had told him what Xander had asked her to do, and why, he'd laughed. Unlike the Slayer, he really didn't mind the idea. After all, it meant that he got to spend the whole afternoon with her.
"It's really not that funny," Buffy said, although her lips were twitching. "It's ridiculous. I still think that we should just lock Anya in a room full of rabbits. Don't they do that sort of thing to people with stupid phobias?"
Spike snorted. "It would be funny, but would you really want to explain what you're doing to Xander?"
Buffy sighed. "No, but that doesn't mean it isn't a good idea."
Spike just took her hand, ambling along beside her, keeping one eye on the giant rabbit. "So how long are we staying here?"
"Oh, until the mall closes," Buffy replied. "I mean, the rabbit will go home then, and we can go back to your place."
"What about what you told Anya?"
"I told Xander that we would follow the giant Easter bunny," Buffy replied. "Which we're doing right now. Anyway, if we get caught in the mall after hours, that would mean big trouble for me. No thank you."
Spike smiled. "And this has nothing to do with wanting to go back to my place?"
"Nothing at all," Buffy insisted. Then she grinned. "Okay, maybe a little bit. I've got some ideas for what I want to try."
Spike's eyes lit up. "That right?"
"Be a good boy, and maybe I'll let you participate," Buffy replied coyly.
Some hours later, Buffy decided that there were worse things than walking the mall with Spike, even if they were following a large rabbit. It wasn't as though the Easter bunny was doing anything more threatening than handing out candy to the kids who were at the mall with their parents.
It was probably a good thing that Anya didn't know about the Easter egg hunt scheduled for the next day, with a special appearance by the same bunny. Otherwise, Buffy would have lost her Sunday as well.
No, the day could have been much worse. Since it mostly consisted of walking and stealing kisses from Spike, Buffy couldn't complain.
The mall was closing down for the evening, and Buffy and Spike started making their way towards the parking lot where Spike had left his Desoto. Suddenly, the vampire stopped, sniffing at the air. "What the hell?"
"What is it?" Buffy asked, frowning.
They'd given up on following the person in the bunny suit when he had gone through a door marked "Employees Only," but now Spike caught an odd scent. It was one he'd missed during the day, with so many people wandering around, many of them with food or a beverage of some kind. Now that they were very nearly the only two people in the mall, however, Spike could smell it quite clearly.
"Demon," Spike replied shortly. "Not something I've smelled before, though. May need to make a detour."
Buffy's frown deepened. "Spike," she nearly whined. "Security is going to start patrolling any minute, making sure everyone is out. We need to leave."
"You're the Slayer, luv," he replied. "It's up to you."
She groaned. When Spike put things that way, it made it her responsibility to make sure that no demon was going to go rampaging through the Sunnydale mall, snacking on unsuspecting citizens. "Fine. But we'd better find some place to hide fast, otherwise they're going to make us leave."
They managed to find an unlocked janitorial closet near one of the restrooms, and they crowded inside. There was barely room enough for both of them, although Buffy couldn't say she exactly minded the close quarters.
At least, she wouldn't have minded under other circumstances.
"What did you smell?" she hissed, once they were hidden away. "Do you know what kind of demon?"
Spike shook his head. "No, but that won't stop us from tracking it. Best to make sure it's not up to something nasty." He gave her a feral grin, and she could just make out the glint of teeth in the darkness. "Hopefully, it'll put up a good fight."
They went silent as they heard footsteps approaching. From the sound the shoes were making on the tiled mall floor, and the whistling, they both suspected that it was one of the security guards, beginning to make his rounds.
They were not expecting the person to try the handle of the closet they were hidden inside, or to hear the familiar jingle of keys. Buffy and Spike exchanged a panicked look, waiting for the guard to open the door. Instead, they heard the click of a lock engage, but they waited for the footsteps to retreat before they tried the door.
"Dammit!" Buffy whispered. "Now what?"
"We wait until we're sure there isn't anybody around, and then we break out," Spike replied. "No worries."
They waited a good long while, listening for the footsteps to approach and retreat a second time. "Now," Spike whispered, twisting the handle of the door quickly. There was a snapping sound as he broke the locking mechanism, and then he eased the door open slowly.
Buffy and Spike looked around the silent, empty mall cautiously, listening for any movement. "I can't believe I'm doing this," Buffy muttered.
"You could have said no," Spike pointed out reasonably.
"You were the one who smelled a demon," Buffy retorted.
Spike was about to say something equally snarky in return, but he stopped as he caught the same scent yet again. "It's still here."
"Well, then, let's find it and get out of here," Buffy said. "This place is giving me the creeps. I keep thinking that the mannequins are going to come alive and..."
"Eat you?" Spike suggested with a toothy grin.
Buffy slapped him on the chest. "Don't even say it."
She began to follow Spike, who followed his nose, through the deserted mall and to the pet store. "A pet store?" Buffy asked. "Are you sure?"
"This is where it came from," Spike replied, peering through the darkened window as the Slayer kept a sharp lookout for the security guard. "Looks like one of the cages has a hole in it, like something chewed through the wire."
"What chews through wire?" Buffy asked.
"Dunno, but it's probably a good idea to figure it out," Spike replied. He took a deep breath, frowning. "This way, I think."
Buffy shrugged, watching as Spike tracked the unknown demon, wondering what they were getting themselves into. So much for a quiet evening spent in Spike's crypt. Eventually, they came to the same door that the Easter bunny had disappeared through just a little while earlier. Buffy looked over at the vampire. "You don't think Anya was right, do you?"
Spike snorted. "'Course not. We followed the blasted thing all day. I'd have known if it was really a demon in disguise. It's just a coincidence."
Buffy shrugged and then twisted the handle, breaking in much as Spike had broken them out of the closet earlier. She frowned as she followed a rather familiar scent down the hall. "Spike, is that—"
"Blood," he replied shortly, speeding his pace.
When they got to what was apparently meant to be an employee break room, filled with vending machines, lockers, and tables, they both stopped cold. No less than half a dozen employees were scattered around the room, their throats bloody, gaping wounds in their chests.
"Ew," Buffy said, making a horrified face. "Do you think—"
"Whatever did this took the hearts," Spike said, his tone serious. "Think we'd better get out of here quick, before we get spotted." He glanced up at the security cameras in the room, hanging haphazardly from the wiring. "Looks like we won't get caught on camera at least."
Buffy sighed. "Okay, let's figure out what did this."
~~~~~
There was a blood trail that led outside, through the employees' exit. Even though Buffy couldn't see it, Spike had no trouble following the scent. Moving like predators, their movements perfectly synchronized, they hunted the demon through the streets of Sunnydale. It was times like this that Buffy realized how perfectly suited they were for one another. Both of them lived for the hunt.
Who wanted normalcy when they could have this?
Spike was speeding up now, the scent becoming fresher. Buffy quickened her pace to keep up, jogging a bit. The screaming that started up told them both that they were on the right track.
They both started running all-out, their footsteps hitting the ground, echoing through the otherwise quiet night. It was the sheer absurdity of the tableau that had them both skidding abruptly to a stop. "You have got to be kidding me," Buffy muttered.
In front of them was the body of a young man, and on his chest sat a white rabbit about the size of a large cat. It was obviously going straight for the heart.
Buffy nearly gagged. "Oh, now that's just gross."
Spike snorted. "And everyone thought they were insane."
"Surely you don't think that's funny!" she hissed. The rabbit had apparently not noticed them yet, and she didn't really want to draw its attention. In spite of its diminutive size, it had managed to kill seven people, which meant that Buffy wanted to try and take it by surprise.
"Monty Python and the Search for the
Holy Grail?" Spike asked. At Buffy's blank look, Spike rolled his
eyes. "Okay, after we kill the rabbit, we're goin' to
watch that movie." He shook his head, muttering something about culturally
challenged
"How do you suggest we kill the rabbit?" Buffy asked.
Spike smirked. "Well, if we had one, I'd suggest a holy hand grenade, but since that's out of the question..." He trailed off at Buffy's raised eyebrows. "Dunno. Stomp the life out of it?"
Buffy sighed, knowing that they didn't have a lot of options. "Okay. On the count of three, then. One, two, three!"
~~~~~~
Some hours later, Spike and Buffy found themselves in the lower level of his crypt, exhausted. Although neither one of them would have ever suspected it could happen, they were too tired to do much more than lie on his bed.
"Who knew rabbits could move that fast?"
"Well, it was a demon rabbit," Spike pointed out reasonably. He couldn't say he minded the feel of Buffy's warm body sprawled across his, her hair tickling the skin on his neck. He figured he might be ready for more strenuous activities in an hour or two. Or maybe in about twelve, once they'd both had a chance to sleep.
Buffy snorted, and then she started giggling.
"What's so funny?"
"Anya," Buffy gasped. "Who knew she was right?"
"Don't think the bunny would have ruined her wedding, and what we caught wasn't the giant Easter bunny," Spike pointed out.
She shook her head helplessly, still laughing. "No, about being afraid of rabbits. I mean, they're bunnies! I liked bunnies!"
"And you don't like them anymore?"
"After having to chase that thing all over town?" Buffy asked incredulously. "And after seeing what it did to all those people?" She raised her head. "How's your wrist, by the way?"
Spike held up his arm, so that Buffy could see the teeth marks where the demon rabbit had managed to chew on him. "Coat took most of it. Let's just hope that its bite doesn't do anything."
Buffy's lips twitched. "I don't know. Maybe you'll develop an inexplicable love of carrots."
Spike glared at her and then snorted. "As long as my nose doesn't start twitching."
"I think you having a twitchy nose would be cute," was her rejoinder.
"That right?" Spike found enough energy to flip them over so that she was underneath him. Buffy didn't look terribly unhappy with the change of position. "You just wait until I turn into a giant demon rabbit. Then where would you be?"
"In a very sad state," Buffy said. "Who would I have to escort me to Xander's wedding then?"
Spike paused. "I'm invited?"
"Well, the invitation did say 'Buffy Summers and guest,'" Buffy said reasonably. "And you did help chase down Anya's killer rabbit. It only makes sense that you'd be my date."
"Didn't know we were dating openly."
Buffy just grinned at him. "Oh, everyone's suspected for a while. I don't think it'll be news."
"So if we snog in public?"
She smirked. "Then everyone will know that I have the hottest boyfriend there."
Oddly enough, they both discovered that they weren't quite as tired as they'd thought after that.