Subject: [SpikesSalvation] Normal's A Place in Illinois- Chapter 13 Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 16:19:48 -0800 (PST) From: Jerusha Hancock Reply-To: SpikesSalvation@yahoogroups.com To: SpikesSalvation@yahoogroups.com Chapter 13: With You Here "There's a kind of emptiness that can fill you./ There's a kind of hunger that can eat you up./ There's a cold and darker side to the moonlight./ And there's a lonely side of love./ With you here, baby I am strong./ No sign of weakness./ With you gone, baby, I am hanging by a thread./ There's a certain kind of pain that can numb you./ There's a type of freedom that can tie you down./ Sometimes the unexplained can define you./ And sometimes silence is the only sound./ With you here, baby, I am strong./ No sign of weakness./ With you gone, baby, I am hanging by a thread." ~Nickel Creek "Hey, man. Congratulations." Xander reached out to shake Spike's hand as he came in the door. "What for?" Spike asked with a smirk. "For makin' it through another year or for bein' a few months away from bein' a dad?" "Both," the other man replied, slapping him on the back. "Nice to know you're finally getting older just like the rest of us." Anya stepped inside behind him. "Yes. Aging is an important part of the human experience." Spike's lips twitched. "Thanks, Anya. I think they're puttin' the food in the kitchen." He watched as the ex-demon slipped past to join the others in the kitchen. "I take it you two are working things out." Xander nodded sheepishly. "Yeah. Hopefully, the second time's the charm. We're thinking about taking notes from you and Buffy and just take things slow." "Good plan." Spike hesitated, and then said, "We were going to talk to you later, but now's as good a time as any." Xander looked slightly suspicious. "Don't keep me in suspense, Professor. With the number of serious announcements that have been made in the last couple weeks, I don't think my heart could take it." Spike raised an eyebrow and led Xander into the living room. "Buffy and I wanted to ask you and Willow to be godparents. We'd have asked the Watcher, but seeing as how he's in England, we thought we'd ask someone who's a bit closer to home." The other man was floored. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but that certainly wasn't it. "Spike, I'm honored." He shrugged. "Well, you know Buffy's always considered you part of the family. This just makes it official-like." "You know you're part of the family too, Spike," Xander replied, meeting his eyes forthrightly. "I never thought I'd say it, but it's been nice to have you around. You and Buffy are good together." An incredulous smile spread across Spike's face as he realized he didn't hate the Whelp quite as much as he always thought he had. "So we're good?" Xander reached out and took Spike's offered hand with a firm grip. "We're good." It was a kind of multi-purpose party. Willow wasn't leaving for England until the end of the summer, so it wasn't a good-bye party, but it was a "congratulations for getting a scholarship and getting out of Sunnydale" thing. Plus, Buffy had finally figured out when Spike's birthday was, and she was throwing him the first party he'd had in over a century. Add to that the fact that Buffy had announced to the whole gang that she was pregnant, so it was also a "congratulations on your upcoming birth" celebration. In reality, however, the major focus was on Spike, as much as he would have liked to deflect it. Truth was, Spike wasn't used to this kind of attention, the good kind. Nevertheless, Buffy had insisted on a real birthday party, complete with cake and his favorite foods, including a blooming onion and spicy wings. While she'd offered to invite anyone he wished, the only person from UC Sunnydale he'd insisted on was Liz. "Be nicer with just family, luv," he'd said. "Though I wish you wouldn't make a fuss." Buffy had just rolled her eyes. "Spike, you 'make a fuss' over people you care about. That's just the way it works, and you'll have to get used to it." The afternoon was fairly low-key, just the main group really, though Spike got suspiciously misty-eyed when the presents came out. He still really wasn't used to being a part of things. Dawn and Simon had chipped in and gotten him a leather-bound copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare. Giles sent some ancient manuscript over from England that Spike got excited about, but no one but Willow understood the significance. Xander (and Anya's) present was a wooden weapons chest similar to Buffy's, but with the initials "W.S.B." carved on the top. Liz's gift was an envelope with an invitation from the university to a spot as Associate Professor, with the stipulation that he continue to pursue his Ph.D. Spike was pretty much speechless after that, and Liz looked incredibly smug. The last gift was from Buffy. She set the large box down in front of him and waited as he opened it, curious. He pulled off the last of the paper and opened the box, regarding the object within in a sort of stunned amazement. After a moment's silence, he lifted it out of the box, revealing a black jacket. It was much shorter than his duster, only about waist-length, and was a nylon fabric. Buffy leaned over and pointed to the back and sleeves. "It's a motorcycle jacket," she explained, "so the back and sleeves have extra padding. Kind of an armor you know. The guy said it was pretty much indestructable." Spike knew what she was saying without words. They were both moving on, putting the past behind them. She'd given the duster back to him because it was a part of who he had been, and it always would be. But this jacket was meant for now, for the nights when he would be watching her back, and for the upcoming months when he might have to patrol alone, and needed a little extra protection. He smiled at her, and swung the jacket on over his shoulders. It was like a hand in glove, and it still added an edge to his appearance. Not the same look as the duster at all, but there was still that gleam in his eye that spoke of danger, and the jacket just enhanced it. "I love it, Buffy," he said softly, and she smiled. "Now all you're missing is the motorcycle," Xander piped up, and as Buffy and Spike's eyes met, they both realized they were thinking the same thing. "That's not missing, Harris," Spike said evenly, not looking away from Buffy. "It's just in storage." ~~~~~ They seemed to fly over roads and highways, bareheaded, her hands tight at his waist, her thighs pressed up against his. It was an intimate position, but neither of them minded. Quite the contrary, in fact. The night had been made for them, and they for the night. He took her to a place he knew, a small, out-of-the-way cove along the shore. The full moon reflected off the sand and the water so that the darkness seemed less profound, even though they were far from any city lights. They lay on their backs on the sand, their hands entwined until Buffy broke the silence. "Good day?" He turned his head to face her, and she could see his teeth gleam white. "The best. If it were possible I'd be in danger of dying from happiness, luv." "Don't joke about it." Spike frowned at the fierceness of her tone and sat up. "About what, pet?" "Dying," she replied angrily. "I can't lose you, Spike." He gave her a confused smile. "I'm not planning on going anywhere, Buffy. You know that. It was just an expression." Spike reached out to touch her cheek tenderly. "You know how I feel about you, right?" she asked. His face softened. "I know. And it's okay, Buffy. What we have is enough for me, more than I ever dreamed of having." Buffy looked into his eyes and knew that he didn't understand. He didn't understand that she loved him so much, she couldn't tell him, and yet she had to try. Something about it being his birthday, him turning a year older, had jarred something loose inside her. It had reminded her that he was mortal, and much more fragile than she. "Tell me you love me." The softness left his face and fear set in. The last time they had had this conversation, it had not ended well. And Buffy wanted to chase that fear away, for good. She watched as he took a deep breath and replied, "I love you." "Tell me you want me." "I always want you." She reached out and touched his cheek. "Tell me you'll never leave me." It was a deviation from the established script, and a spark of hope kindled in Spike's eyes. The first time around he'd hoped it would be different too, but this time there was something in her face that had never been there before. "You know I won't." Buffy took his hand. "Now, ask me." "Buffy, I—" "Just ask, William." "Tell me you want me," he whispered. She smiled. "I always want you." "Tell me you'll never leave me." His voice was barely audible. "I'll never leave you." He cupped her face with his hands, eyes boring into hers. "Tell me you love me, Buffy." He was almost begging. She leaned in and kissed him sweetly. "I love you, Spike." He seemed to collapse, his head falling limply against her shirt, and Buffy couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since he'd heard those words. "I love you," she said again, and they came easier the second time around. He pulled back and swiped at his eyes, embarrassed. "Oh, luv," he whispered. "I think I've waited forever." They made love under the moon, and then went swimming, laughing and splashing each other like children, beautiful in the soft light. As they sat on the sand, drying off, waiting to head home, Buffy looked over at her lover and smiled. "Have you thought about names yet?" "For the baby?" he asked, waiting for her nod. "Well, not sure if it's a boy, pet, but if it's a girl, I wouldn't mind namin' her after your mum." Buffy smiled as her eyes grew misty. "Thank you, Spike. Actually, I wasn't sure about a girl's name, but if it's a boy, I'd like William." "Absolutely not. There's no way my son's goin' to be a bloody fourth. It's ridiculous." She started giggling, both at the look on his face and at his completely affronted tone of voice. "You were a third?" He sighed, a deeply put-upon sound. "William Edward Bradford III." "Well," Buffy coaxed, "technically, he wouldn't be a fourth, since his last name wouldn't be Bradford, and there's no way his middle name would be Edward." "We'll see," he replied, in a way that told her he wasn't at all convinced. "We could call him Liam," she wheedled. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. "You do know whose name that is, don't you, Slayer?" "It would be a shorter name than yours." "It's Angel's name." Buffy feigned surprise. "You and Angel had the same name?" He growled, but knew that Buffy would probably get her way at some point. "I'll think about it. There's plenty of time yet." ~~~~~ Dawn came out to join Spike on the porch. "Hey." "Hey, Bit," he replied. "Your sister still out?" She nodded, looking out into the darkness. "Are you feeling any better?" Spike had had the beginnings of a very nasty cold all evening, and Buffy had made him stay home while she went out on patrol, fearing that the malaria could come back again. "No, but I wanted some air." They stood in silence for a while longer, and then Spike asked, "Are you okay with all this, Bit?" "With you and Buffy having a baby?" she asked. "Yeah, I think it's cool." "Really?" he asked, his voice hopeful. "Don't want you feelin' like you aren't important to us, Niblet, 'cause you are." "I know," she replied. "I don't think I would have gotten that a few years ago, but I do now. It's not moving me out, it's just adding more people. Kind of like you and Buffy have added Simon." "Somethin' like that, I s'pose." He pulled her into a hug. "You're growin' up fast, Niblet." Dawn leaned into his embrace. There was safety with Spike, a safety she would find with others as she continued to get older, but that she would always have with him. Suddenly he froze, and pushed her away, back towards the door to the house. "Get inside, Dawn, and get your sister." "Spike—" "Go!" She saw a figure emerge from the darkness, and saw the figure of a woman. "Dru, what are you doing here?" That was all she needed to hear. Dawn ran into the house, and immediately went out the front door. Buffy never took her cell phone with her on patrol because she said it was distracting and she had a tendency to lose it in cemetaries. She'd just have to find her somehow, preferably before Spike was dead. Or worse. ~~~~~ This was bad. This was very bad. Spike knew Drusilla like the back of his hand, and right now she wanted him back. Either that or she wanted to hurt Buffy, which at the moment was the same thing. The thing he had been most afraid of since becoming human was that Dru would show up again, that he would be turned, and there would be nothing left of the man he had become. "Hello, my Spike," Drusilla said. "Did you miss me?" "Can't say that I did, Dru," he replied honestly. "Bad Spike, doesn't love me anymore." "To be fair, you were the one who left me, ducks," he replied evenly. She stepped closer, smiling her mad smile. "But I came back, my Spike. The pixies told me you were weak, and I've come to make you strong again." Spike smiled in return. "I don't think so." It might as well have been a battle cry. ~~~~~ Dawn was only about a block away when she ran right into Simon's chest. "Dawn! What's wrong?" he asked, grabbing her arms to keep her upright. "It's Spike. Drusilla came back, and I need to find Buffy." She was panting with fear and exertion, trying to twist away from her boyfriend. He gave her a little shake. "Where is she?" "On patrol," she replied, shaking her head. Simon took her arm and started pulling her back towards the house. "Then we don't have time. If Spike's in trouble, we need to help him." Dawn opened her mouth to argue, and then realized he was right. Buffy wouldn't be able to get to them in time. She might not have had a chance going up against the crazy vampire, but she and Simon together might manage to put a stake through her. "Right. You go through the backyard and distract her. I'll go through the house and come out the back door. Once she's looking your way, I'll come out and stake her." "I was just going to suggest that," Simon said, with a nervous smile. "You're a lot better at hitting the heart than I am." Dawn watched as Simon went around the back of the house as she went inside. She was scared, mostly because Spike had pretty much freaked out when Drusilla showed up. Anything that frightened Spike was very scary. Drusilla was a Master vampire, and perfectly capable of taking out both her and Simon with her eyes closed. Unless they got very lucky. She watched out the back door as Simon stepped out into the yard and faced the vampire with a defiant tilt of his chin. She loved him in that moment, more than she ever had before. "Hey, you crazy ho," Simon called. "Drop the man and drop dead." Drusilla snarled at him. "Well, aren't you the pretty parrot. Such colorful feathers." "Oh, you mean the hair?" Simon asked with a smirk, swaggering forward, doing a knowing imitation of Spike at his snarkiest. "Better than your dress. Where'd you pull that out of, the rag bag?" Drusilla paused, suddenly considering the boy in a new light. "Aren't you a brave knight?" she cooed. "My Spike didn't want to play anymore, but you'll be a good boy, won't you?" "Why don't you come and find out?" he invited, his hand going back to the stake he'd shoved into the back of his jeans. A cruel smile lit up her face. "We'll make beautiful music together, my boy." She was inches away from him when her face changed, revealing the demon within. Simon never even flinched. He pulled the stake out of his waistband, and it met the tip of Dawn's stake as it found the heart. There was a moment of surprise, and then Drusilla was gone, nothing but dust on the wind. They both dropped their weapons in their haste to get to Spike's side. He lay on the grass lifelessly, his face pale. Simon's nimble fingers found his pulse, and he looked up at Dawn half in relief, half in concern. "Call the ambulance." "Is he—" "Barely," Simon replied quietly. "But you need to hurry." The ambulance arrived and they quickly loaded Spike up, Dawn giving a hasty explanation of a supposed animal attack as Simon scrawled a note for Buffy. The paramedics wouldn't let both of them ride in the back, so they decided to drive. Simon grabbed Spike's keys from where they sat on the kitchen counter. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" Dawn asked. "Spike taught me last summer." Her boyfriend looked over at her, and said softly, "I know. I got it, though." He reached over and grabbed her hand. "He'll be okay, Dawn. He's one of the strongest people I know." "Yeah. He is," she replied, and let him drive. She was thankful that her boyfriend was just as strong. ~~~~~ Buffy entered the hospital in a near-run, her heart pounding. She'd gotten home from patrol to find a hastily written note telling her that they'd had to take Spike to the hospital, and that Drusilla was dead. It was barely intelligible, but the words "Drusilla" and "hospital" together were never good. She saw Simon and Dawn in the ER waiting room immediately, and she rushed over to them. "Are you two okay? What happened?" Dawn quickly gave her a summary of what had occurred earlier. "The doctor said Spike had lost a lot of blood, but that he'd be okay. It was really close though." Buffy was still trying to process the fact that her baby sister and her boyfriend had taken on a Master vampire and won. "Are you two insane?" she asked. They looked at each other in confusion. "Uh, no," Dawn replied finally. "You could have been killed! Drusilla's killed a Slayer, and you two thought you could take her on." Buffy's voice shook. "If either of you ever, ever pull a stunt like that again, you will both be grounded for life. Do you understand?" Not even waiting for an answer, she pulled Dawn to her in a hug. "I'm so proud of you." Dawn was a little overwhelmed with the mood swings, but she grinned. "Thanks. Simon was really cool though." Buffy turned to Simon, who was looked as though he was considering running away. "Simon, thank you." She pulled him into a hug, and he looked surprised and happy as well. "It wasn't much," he said sheepishly. "Have you called anyone else?" Buffy asked. "Crap," he yelped. "I've gotta call Liz. She'll be worried sick." He ran off and Buffy looked at her sister. "Where is he?" Dawn hesitated. The doctor had been pretty clear on them not being able to see him yet, but she knew her sister. And her sister had on her "resolve" face. "Down the hall. I think I heard the nurses say something about him being in room 107." Buffy gave her sister another grateful smile and headed down the hallway. She found his room easily enough. His skin was as pale as the sheets he lay on, and only the rise and fall of his chest gave any indication that he was still alive. A transfusion bag hung from a pole, and the red liquid dripped steadily into his veins. Buffy found his renewed need for blood just slightly ironic. She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, looking down at him. His eyes fluttered open after a minute, and he looked up at her dazedly. "Buffy?" "I'm right here, sweetheart." "She wanted me to drink, but I wouldn't. I didn't let her turn me." He was still a little out of it, she saw, probably from whatever pain medication they had given him. "I know, baby," Buffy replied. "You did just fine." She watched as he drifted off to sleep again, and sat by his side. After a while, Liz came. She checked on him to ensure that he was fine and then informed Buffy that she was taking Simon and Dawn back to her place. "Dawn can stay with me for tonight," the kindly woman said. "I know she'd probably feel better if she's not alone." Buffy smiled and thanked her, and stayed put. When Spike finally opened his eyes again, they were clear. "Buffy? Luv? How long have you been here?" "A few hours," she replied softly. "How are you feeling?" He considered her question. "Good, I guess, for a guy who's just been bit. What happened?" "Dawn ran into Simon on her way to find me. They went back, he distracted the crazy bitch, and they both staked her at the same time." Buffy managed to smile. "She assured me it was very cool." He smirked slightly. "Guess we taught 'em well, Slayer." "You promised not to leave me, Spike," Buffy whispered. He looked surprised. "I'm still here, pet. I'm not going anywhere." "I almost lost you," she said, the anguish and fear of nearly losing him showing clearly on her face. "Don't ever do that again. I can't be without you, Spike." "Sure you could, luv," he said. "You'd manage somehow." "No," she asserted. "I think losing you would kill me." Spike opened his mouth to protest, and then shut it again. She would make it, he knew, she was strong. But at the same time, her heart had been broken so many times, she might indeed find it hard to live through another. "You'd still have a piece of me," he reminded her softly. "Yeah," she said. "But I need all of you." She laid her head down on his chest. "I love you." "And I love you, pet." "Then let's get married," she said suddenly, sitting up. "What?" he replied, startled. "Let's get married. I want to make it official. The last couple of years, I was pretty sure I'd never get to do that. Never get the white dress or the wedding march, any of it. I want every bit of what I can get, right now, with you." She looked at him fiercely. He blinked a couple times, and then said. "All right. Let's do it. But can we avoid all the bloody fuss and bother? I don't want it to be an ordeal." She smiled. "No, it'll just be good. Fun, you know? For both of us." She put her head back down, letting him stroke her hair. "I wish my mom were here. I think she'd be happy for us. She always liked you." "Really?" He smiled reflectively. "I liked her too. She was a good lady. A lot like her daughter." Buffy sighed softly. "I want forever with you, Spike. Just you." "Your wish is my command, luv. I'm all yours." ---------------------------------