Seas Between Us (Broad Have Roared)

Author: enigmaticblue <enigmaticblue@yahoo.com>

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? They aren't mine. If they were, I'd be nicer than Joss.

Archive: Anywhere that already has my stuff. Anywhere else just ask.

Summary: Set in an alternate Angel S5, wherein Andrew tells Buffy that Spike's alive after Damage and she does something about it, upsetting the power structure while she's at it.

A/N: This story takes place after Bring Out Your Dead, and may make a little more sense if you read that one first. The thing to notice is that Lindsey does not enter into this story. I didn't want to deal with the boy since I'm mostly ignoring canon. Just so you aren't terribly surprised.

A/N: Some of the dialogue in this chapter was nicked from the episode "A Hole in the World." I just transplanted it to a happier place.

Chapter 19: Redeeming an Angel

"You're makin' a mess/Somethin' I can't fix/This time you're on your own/I'd make it alright/But I wouldn't get it right/I'm leavin' it alone...I'm waiting for the end/Waiting to begin again/You're makin' a mess/Somethin' you can't hide/A slow suicide/Just one bite at a time/I should love you less/But I can't I guess..." Over the Rhine, "B.P.D."

"I'm done," Gunn said quietly.

Angel had known this moment was coming. He'd watched over the last month as the lab tech's death ate at the man. Somehow he'd known that Wolfram & Hart was the end of the line for all of them. You couldn't be given your heart's desire and not have it change you.

Not always for the better, either.

"Okay," Angel replied.

"My contract has a non-compete clause," Gunn said, "but you're not really in competition with Angel Investigations. I'm going to be doing some work for Anne, too. Pro-bono stuff."

"That's good." The vampire's face revealed none of his inner turmoil. He had asked for this. He had freely agreed to come work here, and he realized that he would have to make the best of a bad situation.

Angel had never believed that it would get this bad, however.

Gunn nodded. "I'm gone by the end of today. I figure you'll be hearing from Lorne, too."

"I expected to," Angel admitted, watching his friend leave without saying anything else.

When the door shut behind Gunn, Angel stood and walked over to the windows, looking out over the city. It was a great view. In some ways, it was a great job. Most people would love to be where he was.

Of course, Angel wasn't most guys.

He missed his friends. He missed the camaraderie they'd had before everything had gone all to hell. Angel missed getting up close and personal with the people he was trying to save. If he could have left, he would have, but there was no chance of that, not while Wolfram & Hart still held his soul hostage.

His mind wandered to Connor. Angel knew he probably should have kept a closer eye on his son, but it had been too painful. That was his boy who was calling strangers "mom" and "dad."

Connor was his. No, he corrected himself, Connor had been his. He wasn't any longer.

"Brooding again, huh?"

Angel stiffened. "Cordelia." He hadn't seen her since she'd woken and insisted on calling Wesley. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," she replied. "What else?"

He turned slowly. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Cordelia smiled softly. "Probably better than you are."

Angel shook his head. "Cordy—"

"There's someone here who wants to see you," she said, looking behind her to the open door of his office.

Connor walked in. Angel could see that his son was troubled. Connor looked tired, and there were deep circles under his eyes. "Connor..."

"Hey, Dad."

~~~~~

Dawn hugged both Buffy and Spike. "You guys are coming this summer, right?"

"We'll be there with bells on," Buffy promised. "Although, probably without the bells."

Spike just grinned. "Yeah, sure, Niblet. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Have to drag back the rest of your sister's stuff, right?"

"We're so going to deserve a vacation after all of this anyway," Buffy said. "We haven't gotten one of those yet."

Dawn beamed. "Cool." She glanced back over her shoulder, knowing that her time was growing short. "You guys will take care of Connor?"

"We're on the team," Spike said. "Don't worry, Bit. He's a tough kid."

Dawn shrugged. "Yeah, but this is a really sucky thing to have happen."

"He'll be fine, I'm sure." Buffy hugged her sister one last time. "But we'll tell him you were worried. Go, before you miss your flight."

There was another last-minute hug for Spike, and then Dawn dashed off, slipping through the crowd. Spike reflexively wrapped an arm around Buffy's shoulders. "It's just a few more weeks, luv," he said softly.

"I know," Buffy replied. "It's just—I don't think I realized how much I missed her until she came to visit."

"Do you want to go back to Rome until she's through with school for the year?" Spike asked. "We can have you on a flight tomorrow."

Buffy hesitated before shaking her head. "Dawn and I talked, Spike. We'll see her again soon enough, and she doesn't mind. Plus, with everything that's been going on here..." She sighed. "You do know that they're going to manage to get Angel out of Wolfram and Hart one of these days, don't you?"

"That was the plan," he replied flippantly as they made their way back to the parking lot.

Buffy bumped him with her shoulder. "What are you going to want to do when that happens? I know you and Angel don't see eye to eye. On anything."

Spike smiled. "Buffy, luv, the main reason I've always hated Angel is because he always seemed to get what I want. That's no longer a concern."

She frowned. "What do you—" There was a long silence. "You aren't going to be insufferable about this, are you? Because I really don't like thinking of myself as a prize to be won."

"Have you seen the look on Cordelia's face when Angel's name is mentioned?" Spike asked softly.

Buffy looked at him. "I know she's in love with him, Spike."

"The feeling is mutual, I can guarantee that much." Spike smirked. "I don't need to rub it in, because Angel has his own girl. If he does get jealous for some idiotic reason, Cordelia'll kick his ass."

Buffy laughed. "Okay, I guess that much is true. You're really thinking you want to stay, though?"

Spike shrugged. "Well, much as I like the hotel, 'm not sure I want to stay there, but stay in L.A.? Yeah, I do. I've got friends here, pet."

"I know. So do I," Buffy murmured. "This is what I missed, you know."

"What's that?"

"Being a part of a group," she replied. "I mean, training the Slayers was okay, but when everyone got so spread out, all the fun went out of it." Buffy sighed. "I'm going to miss Willow when she has to leave in a few days."

Willow had decided to stick around for a few extra days, just to make sure that the magician didn't pose any more problems for them now that his spell had been broken. She was off seeing her parents at the moment, but she was coming back to the hotel later that day.

"I know you will, luv," Spike said. "Buffy, I don't want you to feel like you're stuck here in L.A. for anythin'. You can go wherever you need to go."

She knew what Spike was trying to say. He didn't want to tie her down to one place if she wanted to travel. "Maybe one of these days," Buffy acknowledged. "I'm right where I want to be for the moment, though."

~~~~~

When Wesley woke up, the light coming into the office seemed to pierce his brain. He was beginning to remember why he'd stopped drinking so much, but downing the bottle of scotch had seemed like a good idea last night.

He was going to kill Spike.

"Here." The voice was soft, almost a whisper, and Wesley took the glass of water and aspirin she was handing to him. "Spike said you probably wouldn't be feeling very well."

"I'm going to kill Spike."

"He might have been pouring, but you were drinking," Fred said, her tone wry. "I don't think blaming him will make the hangover go away either."

The memories came rushing back, and Wesley winced. "What are you doing here?"

"You know," Fred replied in a conversational tone. "I think we've both made some really stupid mistakes."

"That goes without saying," Wesley muttered, his head in his hands. The room wouldn't stop spinning.

"So I thought about it, and I came to the conclusion that Angel was really wrong to take our memories, because it was like we got together under false pretences."

He bit back a groan. Here it was. Fred was going to tell him that they couldn't be together. Her feelings for him had been manufactured by that spell, and now—

"The funny thing is, I still love you."

Wesley's head shot up. "What?"

"I love you," she said clearly. "Wesley, you shot your father for me. Granted, that was before you remembered those horrible things I said to you, and so if you don't like me anymore, I'll completely understand, but—"

He stopped her ramble with one finger over her lips. Wesley would have tried kissing her, but with the taste in his mouth, he was fairly certain she'd never forgive him for that. "Say the first part again."

"I love you." Fred raised her eyebrows. "I'm assuming you don't hate me."

"No, of course not," Wesley exclaimed. "How could I?"

"Remember the whole 'we both made stupid mistakes' thing?" Fred asked. She cupped his stubbled cheek. "You have just as much right to not love me anymore as I have to not love you anymore."

"I've loved you since I've known you," Wesley replied. "Or perhaps before. I think maybe before."

Fred smiled at him. "Sometimes I can be sorta slow. It took me a little longer."

Hangover nearly forgotten, Wesley pulled her to him. "I was so afraid—"

"I know." She ran her fingers through his hair. "You don't have to be afraid of that anymore. I love you." There was a pause. "I wouldn't mind hearing it from you again, you know."

"I love you," he murmured.

"Then you won't mind me telling you that you really need a shower," she said, teasing him.

He chuckled. "I would believe you." Wesley ran a hand down her hair. "I love you."

"I know," Fred replied. "You've proven it again and again." She grinned at him, her eyes full of mischief. "By the way, my parents know about us."

Wesley looked a little alarmed. "Really?"

"Yep, and they're thrilled." Her grin turned sly. "They're going to be here in a coupla weeks. I know they'll love seeing both of us."

Wesley gulped. He might be a bad-ass demon hunter, but meeting the parents was still fraught with danger. "Great."

She laughed out loud. "They already love you, Wes. Come on," she stood, pulling him with her. "Shower, and then breakfast." Glancing at the clock, she amended, "Okay, lunch."

"Right behind you," Wesley replied, his heart lighter than it had been in a very long time.

~~~~~

"I'll let you two get caught up," Cordy said, slipping out the door, leaving Angel to stare at his son.

"What—what happened?" Angel finally asked after a long silence.

Connor shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes. "Wesley broke the memory spell you had put on everyone."

"Why?" Angel demanded. "That was for your protection!"

"It didn't protect me!" Connor shot back. "My—" He stopped. "The people you gave me to, they were hurt because of me, and I couldn't protect them." His face reflected conflicted emotions: despair, rage, longing. "If I had known—I could have stopped it from happening."

Angel sat down heavily, closing his eyes. Nothing was working out how he had planned. Connor was supposed to have a nice life, have everything Angel hadn't been able to give him. "Who broke the spell?"

"Someone named Willow," Connor replied, sitting down in the available chair.

Angel shook his head. "She'd be the only one powerful enough," he muttered. "I don't know of anyone else."

"They—my parents—they don't remember me anymore," Connor said quietly. "It's like I never existed for them. We—I still don't know how far that goes, but I'm pretty sure I'm still going to college."

"Where?"

"Stanford."

"Really?" Angel smiled. "That's great. Do you like it there?"

"Yeah, I do," Connor replied. "I'm going back just as soon as we clear this up. I need to know who was after me."

Angel nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll look into it."

Connor stood. "I should get back to Cordy. Do you have the phone number?"

"I have it." Angel watched him as he headed towards the door. "If you need anything—anything at all—"

Connor paused, then looked back over his shoulder. "I know who to come to." He was just about to close the door behind him, when he met Angel's eyes. "I'm going to be okay."

Angel watched as the door closed, and then ran a hand over his face. Connor was doing fine. He was the same well-adjusted kid he'd been a week ago when he was in the office for the first time.

And Angel was still trapped at Wolfram & Hart, with no way to leave. No way at all.

~~~~~

When Willow returned to the hotel, it was to find everyone gone except for Lorne, who was still sipping a Seabreeze. "Hey, Lorne," the witch greeted him. "Where is everybody?"

"Out and about," he replied. "Scattered to the four winds."

Willow frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?" Lorne asked, bitterness edging his tone. "Okay was owning Caritas, listening to people sing, setting them on their paths. Okay was entertaining folks every night. This—this is not it."

She sat down next to him. "That doesn't mean you can't get it back, right? You could open another club."

He sighed. "Ignore me. I'm just—"

"Still reeling from the spell?" she asked. "It was a big change."

"What exactly did you do?" Lorne asked. "It felt like—"

"I restored things to the way they were meant to be," Willow replied. "You can alter reality all you want, and sometimes it's okay. I mean, the monks that made Dawn inserted her into a reality that already existed. This warlock basically created something entirely new. It wasn't necessarily a good thing."

"Angel meant for it to be, I think," Lorne said softly. "I can't blame him. We all loved Connor, you know. As a baby, anway. When he came back from Quortoth all grown up, he was a real pill. Then everything went bad, and—maybe I would have done the same thing in his place."

Willow smiled. "Angel usually has the best of intentions, even if the execution isn't the greatest."

Cordelia and Connor came walking through the doors of the hotel. "Hey guys," Cordelia said. "Anything new?"

"Everybody's gone," Willow replied. "That's new." She gave Connor a sympathetic look. "How are you today?"

He shrugged. "I'm okay. It's weird, but I'll deal." Connor looked over at Lorne. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Lorne asked with some surprise.

"For being a jerk." Connor suddenly smiled, and it caused his whole face to light up. "It's not like I can really throw stones. My dad's a vampire."

Lorne gave him a considering look. "Apology accepted. Would you mind humming a few bars for me?"

Connor looked surprised, and then started humming a nondescript top-40 radio tune. Lorne was just grateful that it wasn't Barry Manilow, since Angel had murdered him enough for one century. "Thanks, lamb," he said, looking at Cordy. "Connor here needs to kill someone. Actually, it would be better for everyone involved if he killed more than one someone."

"Is it a demon?" Connor asked hopefully.

"A couple of demons, including a magician of some sort." Lorne shrugged. "I don't know much more than that, but when Angel calls, make sure you take some backup. You'll know who to get then." Lorne's face suddenly softened. "And you've got a family and a home, kiddo. This is it right here."

Connor looked surprised for a minute and then nodded. "I'm going to be upstairs," he told Cordelia. "You'll tell me when Angel calls?" She nodded and watched him walk away, his shoulders slumped.

"Maybe we shouldn't have done the spell," Cordy murmured. "Or have done—"

"There wasn't any other way," Willow replied. "Or if there was, and I missed something, I'm not sure the outcome would have been any better."

"I guess the question is how we're supposed to get Angel out of Wolfram and Hart," Cordy mused.

Lorne took another sip of his Seabreeze. "That's up to Connor."

"What?" Cordelia stared at him.

Lorne shrugged. "The only one who can get Angel out is his son, but the kid has to want to do it. Give it some time, and don't push him. Connor will figure it out for himself."

Cordelia sighed. She'd been patient this long. A little longer wouldn't hurt.

~~~~~

Wesley had showered at his place, Fred waiting patiently in his living room. The steam cleared his head, so that he felt almost human by the time he got out.

When he emerged from the bathroom, Fred was watching a special on whales on PBS. "I don't have much food here," he said quietly, trying not to startle her.

She glanced up at him, over the back of the couch. "I called and ordered takeout," she replied.

"That will be fine, then."

There was an awkward pause. Wesley wasn't quite sure what to say, what the next step might be. He wasn't quite sure if they knew one another better, or not at all.

Fred patted the cushion next to her, and he came to sit down, both of them turning their attention towards the television. Wesley wasn't particularly interested in whales, but it was better than trying to make small talk, which they'd long outgrown.

How the bloody hell did you make small talk with someone you'd tried to kill, someone you'd known and loved for years? Even if you hadn't remembered all of it until 24 hours before.

They might have sat there forever, not saying anything, until Fred turned to him, pulling his head down so that his lips met hers. Her fingers curled around his neck as she deepened her kiss. After a moment's shock, Wesley began to return the embrace, entwining his fingers in her hair, his thumb caressing the side of her face where it rested.

Neither of them wanted to come up for air. The long, slow burn grew hotter, their hands became more frantic. Fred stretched out on top of him where they both lay on his couch. Things might have grown more heated yet if the doorbell hadn't rung.

They both gave simultaneous groans. "That would be our food."

Wesley grunted in response. "Ignore it."

"Wesley, we can't ignore it. I'm supposed to pay for it." Fred hated being practical as much as he did at that moment, but she was hungry. If things were going to progress, she needed fuel.

By the time she came back with their order, Wesley was sitting up, a rueful expression on his face. "I suppose we shouldn't have gotten started, knowing that our dinner was coming."

Fred shrugged. "Well, I'm starving, and you have to be hungry. We'll need our energy for later."

He smiled, good humor sparkling in his blue eyes. "I fully intend on there being a later," he warned.

"Good," Fred replied, taking a huge bite of beef lo mein. "Because I wouldn't have it any other way."