Under the Sun

Author: enigmaticblue

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Sure, if you already have my stuff. If not, just ask.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters herein; Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and other lucky folks do. Of course, I'm not the one making money off of them.

Summary: Set after Avocation in an alternate S4 where many events of canon get thrown out the window. This one won't make any sense if you haven't read the previous story.

A/N: The title comes from Ecclesiastes, which most people know from the phrase, "A time for everything, and a season for everything under heaven." Really, this story is based on the entire book, which is probably my favorite in the Bible. It talks about making the most of what one has now, and while some find it depressing, I love it. If you've got the time, I'd really recommend you read the whole thing.

Chapter 18

"Hope is the thing with feathers/That perches in the soul,/And sings the tune without the words,/And never stops at all,/And sweetest in the gale is heard;/And sore must be the storm/That could abash that little bird/That kept so many warm./I've heard it in the chillest land,/And on the strangest sea;/Yet, never, in extremity,/It asked a crumb of me." ~Emily Dickenson, "Hope is the thing with feathers"

Willow knocked, feeling a little weird about just showing up on Wesley's doorstep like this. She knew that Buffy was planning on dragging Spike away from his digging, which meant that the ex-Watcher should be home.

The door swung open, and Wesley looked at her blearily. "Willow?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she said. "Did I wake you up?" Peering at him a little more closely, she saw that Wesley hadn't even changed his clothing. Not unless he normally went around in filthy jeans and a t-shirt.

He rubbed a hand over his face. "I must have fallen asleep."

"I can come back later," Willow said. "In fact, why don't I come back later? I don't want to cut in on your sleep."

Wesley shook his head. "No, come in. I imagine you want to talk about the protection spells. Do you mind if I shower first?"

"No, go ahead," Willow said. "Do you want me to make tea or coffee or something?"

Wesley chuckled. "I thought that was my line."

"I'm perfectly capable of brewing caffeinated beverages," Willow replied with a grin. "Especially since I'm the one who woke you up."

"If you would make a pot of coffee," he said. "I'll be out shortly."

He disappeared back into his bedroom, and Willow went to the small kitchen area, randomly opening cupboards in an attempt to find the coffee paraphernalia. Once she'd located the coffee and filters, she got the pot brewing and sat at the tiny table, pulling out the tomes she'd borrowed from Giles for that purpose.

There had been a few spells Willow had thought might prove useful, but she wasn't sure whether they would work on a vampire. She was hoping that Wesley might have some knowledge in that area. Giles might have known, but he was busy with the shop these days. When she'd shown up there on Saturday, there had been a number of customers in the store, and Giles had been trying to get some paperwork done.

Willow was beginning to feel really lonely. Buffy was constantly with Spike now, if she wasn't in class. Giles had his shop and Joyce, and Xander was ignoring her in favor of spending his time with Anya. Not that she could blame any of them, because Willow remembered what it had been like with Oz around. She'd wanted to spend a lot of time with Oz, too, particularly at the beginning of their relationship. She hadn't been able to get enough of him.

That pretty much explained why she was feeling so dreadfully lonely. Oz still hadn't returned, and although Willow made it a habit to stop by his room on occasion to breathe in his scent, to feel his presence, it wasn't the same as having him there.

Willow wanted him to come home. She wanted him to at least send a letter to let her know when she might expect him to return. So far, though, there had been nothing.

"Are you alright?"

Wesley's voice broke into her melancholy thoughts, and Willow glanced up at him. He was still damp from the shower, fully dressed in clean trousers and a sweater. "I'm okay. Just thinking."

"About Oz?" he asked gently. Her surprise must have shown on her face, because Wesley explained, "You just looked as though you were missing someone. I thought—forgive me. It was rude to pry."

"No, it's okay," Willow said quickly. "I mean, I appreciate your concern. It's—I've kind of felt lately that everyone's forgotten that Oz isn't here anymore."

Wesley looked sympathetic. "Spike—"

"Oh, I understand!" Willow was quick to assure him. "Buffy needs to be with Spike, and Xander and Anya are a new couple—even though I still don't see what Xander sees in her—and Giles has his shop..."

"And you have magic," Wesley added, tapping the books that were lying on the table. He poured himself a cup of coffee, and turned back to her. "Would you like a cup?"

"I'd better not," she replied. "Caffeine makes me jumpy."

"What have you found?" Wesley asked, sitting down in the only other chair at the table.

Willow opened the first book and flipped to the pertinent spell. "This one is an illusion, but I don't know how we'd keep it going for a long period of time. It would have to pretty much be permanent, and I don't know that it's going to be easy to make a vampire appear human."

Wesley frowned. "It might be possible. If we can find the Gem of Amara, we might be able to tie the spell to that. With sunlight not an issue, all we would truly have to be concerned about would be body temperature."

She nodded. "That's what I thought, but it would take a lot of power, and I don't know that I can do it."

"We might be able to do it together," Wesley replied. "What's next?"

Willow picked up the second book. "This one is a protection spell, but it's against magic. Maybe we could make it work against technology?"

Wesley scanned the spell, nodding slowly. "Perhaps. If we could make it work, that would be quite handy, particularly if the soldiers present a threat to all of us." There was a third book on the table. "And the last one?"

Willow shrugged. "That one's just a locator spell, but it's a permanent one, so you always know where somebody is. It might be nice for everyone, just in case something happens."

"You've spent a lot of time on this," Wesley commented.

Willow looked away from him. "I've had a lot of extra time on my hands lately."

Wesley understood what she meant, but he didn't know what else to say. "Are you hungry?"

She met his eyes, surprised. "What?"

"I haven't eaten all day," Wesley said. "And I don't have anything here. Are you hungry?"

Willow almost asked if Wesley was asking her out, but she bit back the question before it could escape. They were friends, like she and Xander were friends, and Wesley was probably just as lonely as she was. After all, it wasn't like he was dating anybody either. Willow figured he probably felt like a third wheel a lot with Spike and Buffy.

So it was just dinner with a friend who didn't have anyone else to eat with.

"Starving."

He smiled. "Good. I'll get my things."

Willow watched him leave the room, wondering why she'd never previously noticed how cute Wesley was.

~~~~~

The sound of the jackhammer died, leaving only an echo behind. Wesley pulled his mask off, joining Spike on the platform they'd built to lie on while drilling through the ceiling. "Hand me the lantern," Spike said.

Wesley handed him the battery-powered light, grabbing a second one and following Spike up into the cavern. Their light played across the treasure, heaps of it. Gold and jewels sparkled as they both moved the lanterns around to view it all. "I never thought..." Wesley murmured, trailing off reverentially.

"Me neither," Spike replied. "Guess neither of us is going to have to work again if we don't want to." At Wesley questioning look, Spike raised his eyebrows. "It's an even split, Wes. You were the one who did the research."

"You—" Wesley paused to gather his thoughts. Spike had essentially just given him a place as an equal partner. It meant the world to him. "Thank you."

"Thank me later, after we've hauled all this stuff out and converted it," Spike replied. "That's going to take a lot of work. But until then..." He trailed off. "Bloody hell, finding the gem is going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack."

Wesley shook his head. "All the references indicate that it's small, greenish in color, and part of something that would be inconspicuous." Spike raised an eyebrow. "I've continued my research," Wesley explained.

"I guess that at least gives us a place to start," Spike responded.

They both started combing through the treasure carefully, but it didn't take long for Spike to grow frustrated. "This is pointless!" he burst out. "It's going to take for-sodding-ever."

Wesley sighed. "Go get something to eat," he suggested. "I'll keep looking."

"Little hard for you to figure out if it works or not without me around," Spike snapped, and then sighed. "Sorry. I've been a right sod the past couple of weeks, Wes."

"You've had cause," Wesley said. "You seem to be in a better mood today, though."

"Buffy stayed all night last night," was all Spike would admit to, although a smile warmed his features at the thought.

Wesley stifled his jealousy. It had been longer than he cared to think of since he'd been with anyone. Not since before he left England, in fact. "Hang on," he muttered, picking up a ring. It fit the description of being inconspicuous and green. "Spike, try this."

Spike took the ring from him with a shrug, slipping it on his left hand. "Want to stake me?"

"No," Wesley shot back. "At least, not very often. And I'm not going to test it out."

The vampire looked around, and locating an ornate cross, picked it up. He stared at and then switched hands so that he held it in his right hand. There was no pain, no mark, no burning. "This is it."

Wesley approached him. "You should try it out."

Spike looked up at him, meeting Wesley's eyes, his own expression stunned. "Outside."

"Yes." Wesley grinned. "You could meet Buffy after her last class." He pulled the keys to his motorcycle out of his pocket, dangling them in front of Spike's face. "You take the bike, and I'll drive your car back."

"You just want to drive the Mustang again," Spike accused him, but he took the keys in exchange for his own, swallowing hard. "Wes—thanks."

"It was my pleasure," Wesley replied. "Go find your girl."

Spike didn't need further encouragement.

~~~~~~

Buffy was walking next to Willow. "So you and Wesley went out to dinner?"

"Yeah, it was nice. He's nice," Willow said. "Just as a friend, you know, but he's got all this interesting information. Did you know that he speaks more than a dozen different languages? Not just the ones Giles does, but a bunch more."

The Slayer just nodded, wondering if Willow realized that she sounded like she had the beginnings of a crush. In some ways, it made sense. Willow probably had more in common with Wesley than anyone else did. Buffy was just grateful that Willow wasn't quite so focused on Oz's departure. Her search for spells to help Spike seemed to be providing a distraction on a number of different levels.

"It's an awfully nice day out, isn't it?"

The voice coming from behind them should have been impossible. Except that Buffy knew it was him. She whirled, seeing Spike standing there in blue jeans and a white t-shirt, his black leather jacket open. He looked completely different in the sunlight, his pale skin luminescent. A smile tilted the corners of his lips, and he was obviously waiting for her reaction. "Spike?"

"Thought I'd surprise you," he said. "How am I doing?"

Buffy threw herself at him, feeling his arms come around her as he laughed. He hadn't laughed in weeks.

Seeing him here, in the daylight, caused Buffy to realize just how much she'd given up by dating a vampire. Not that she would give Spike up for anything, but this was a dream come true.

Buffy pulled back to get a good look at him. "Really well. When did you guys find it?"

"An hour or so ago," Spike replied. "I stopped by the house to shower and change, but Wesley suggested I borrow the bike to surprise you. Want to go for a ride?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Buffy demanded.

Willow was beaming at both of them. "Can I see it?"

Spike moved closer to her, trying to make his movements inconspicuous. Both Willow and Buffy inspected the ring, and Buffy raised her eyebrows, impressed. "Wow. It's even pretty."

"You should have seen some of the other stuff we found," Spike said. "Some of it was truly ghastly. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to wear something that ugly."

Buffy laughed, and then she glanced around. "Should you really be on campus, though? I'm happy to see you, but..."

"What are they going to do, Buffy?" Spike asked, his eyes glittering with a mixture of menace and daring. "They can't touch me, even if they did figure out that my heart isn't beating. Why would they even suspect that I'm anything other than what I appear to be?"

"And what's that?" she asked, teasing him.

"Just a guy who's come to pick up his girl. Was thinking you might like an evening out on the town." Spike leered at her. "We can pick up where we left off last night."

Buffy decided that it wouldn't be prudent to question this sudden shift in Spike's mood. He'd gone from distant and morose back to his old confident, ebullient self. As long as this wasn't a temporary change, she could concentrate on being happy he was back to normal.

Of course, if it was temporary, then Buffy would just have to figure out how to make him happy again.

"Do you mind, Will?" Buffy asked, knowing that they were supposed to hang out later that night.

"No, you go on, have a good time," Willow said, just as pleased as Buffy at Spike's improved mood. "I'll see you guys when you get back."

Buffy gave her a grateful look, walking hand-in-hand with Spike, both of them enjoying the sunshine.

~~~~~

It didn't take Willow long to wish that Buffy hadn't gone off with Spike. She didn't begrudge them their happiness. Really, she didn't. After all they'd been through recently, they both deserved an afternoon together without an emergency or interruption.

With Buffy and Spike gone, however, Willow was left without anyone to talk to, and she really needed to talk to somebody. She needed someone to be there for her, especially now that she knew that Oz wasn't going to be there for her ever again.

Over the last couple of months, Willow had convinced herself that it was only a matter of time before Oz came back. When he was back—she had told herself—they would make things work again, they would make things good again. She could forgive him, and he would stay.

Only he wasn't coming back. Oz had sent for his things, with no word to her. He hadn't even left a message for her with Devon.

What Willow really wanted was some girl-time, but in Buffy's absence, she thought that Xander would be an acceptable substitute. When she called, however, Xander had other plans. "Sorry, Will, but I can't hang out tonight," Xander replied, sounding regretful. "Anya and I are supposed to meet in a couple of hours. Unless it's an emergency. If you need me for something big—"

"No," Willow replied. "It's not an emergency." She didn't want to explain herself. "I just thought it might be fun to get together. I'll see you some other time." Willow hung up the phone before he could reply, knowing that she was being rude and abrupt and not caring.

Stopping by Giles' shop was a last-ditch effort on her part. She thought that if Giles was free, she could talk to him about the options she had discussed with Wesley, see what he thought they should do. Anything to distract herself.

Willow felt like her heart had been broken all over again.

Giles was ringing up a customer when she arrived, though, with two more in line. He glanced up for long enough to smile at her, but it was obvious that he was busy, and he wasn't going to be free anytime soon.

Willow left, wandering down the street disconsolately. Nothing was going to be okay again; there was nothing she could think of to cheer herself up.

"Willow? Are you alright?"

It took a minute for the question to penetrate the fog around her, and Willow had run into Wesley by that point. At least, she would have run into Wesley if he hadn't stopped her by gripping her shoulders. "Oh, hey."

"You're not okay," he stated. "Are you hurt?"

"No. Yes. I—Oz is gone." It wasn't the most coherent explanation Willow could have given him, but Wesley didn't ask for further explanations. He put his hand on her back, steering her down the street to the Espresso Pump. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to sit down until you get your feet under you again," Wesley replied firmly, sitting her down at one of the free tables. "I'll be right back."

Willow sat there because it was easier than trying to figure out where she was supposed to go next. What she was supposed to do next. Her future had always included Oz, and now it didn't.

"It's terrible tea, but it's the best I can do for the moment," Wesley said, handing her the paper cup. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Oz sent for his things," Willow replied, watching as he settled himself across from her. "He didn't even call or write or anything. His things were just gone when I went by his room today, and Buffy and Spike are gone, Xander is with Anya, and Giles was busy."

Wesley glanced down at his tea, the bag floating in the scalding water. It really was terrible tea. He didn't think he'd ever get used to the American concept of a cuppa. "I realize that I'm a poor substitute, but if you'd like company, I don't have any plans."

Willow stared at him, then shook her head. "No, that's okay. I know you've been working nonstop. I'm sure you have better things to do."

"What would that be?" Wesley responded. "We could go over the spells you found more in depth, perhaps determine which one would be best to use." When she didn't appear persuaded, he added, "It might be better to keep your mind off things. It's always better to have a distraction, rather than to ruminate on it."

"I don't know," Willow said, still unsure. "I don't want to be any trouble." Actually, it would be more accurate to say that she wasn't sure she wanted to be with Wesley. She didn't know him well enough to feel comfortable being miserable around him, not the way she would have with Buffy or Xander. Or even Spike.

Wesley shrugged. "If you'd rather be alone, I would understand."

Being alone suddenly sounded like a really bad idea. Willow didn't want to spend the evening by herself. That would just emphasize how pathetic she was. "No. Let's go over those spells. I think a distraction is just what the doctor ordered."

"I still have your books at my place," Wesley suggested. "Unless you'd be more comfortable at your room."

"Let's go back to your place," Willow replied. Maybe the evening with Wesley was a good idea. It would definitely prevent her from moping, and it would give her something constructive to do.

She needed to forget about Oz, and while she might not have Oz, she would always have magic.